Bucky Barnes (notzimniysoldat) wrote in madisonvalley, @ 2018-05-13 20:50:00 |
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Entry tags: | !closed, !log, ~2018 may, ~25 points, ~~bucky barnes (notzimniysoldat), ~~veronica mars (veronica_mars) |
WHO Bucky Barnes & Veronica Mars
WHAT Learning some of V's history
WHEN Recently
WHERE Their house
WARNINGS None really
STATUS Closed | Completed GDoc
Even with her pregnancy confirmed by both Molly’s power and Jemma’s science, Veronica asked her family to keep the news to themselves for the time being with the explanation that it was still early and something could potentially go wrong. The truth was that she was kind of terrified about being a mother and needed to work through those feelings before making a public announcement and putting on a happy face for the entire town. It was hard enough keeping her concerns hidden from her husband, the girls, and Bucky & Kara.
Thankfully, she’d already cut her caffeine consumption way back when they decided to start trying to get pregnant, so she wasn’t dealing with that withdrawal on top of the exhaustion that came with early pregnancy. She’d ducked out of work early today with the intention of going home and taking a nap before dinner and was surprised to hear someone in the kitchen when she got there.
Apparently Bucky had finished up early today too and she went to say hello instead of heading straight up to her and Steve’s room. “Hey, wasn’t expecting you to be here,” she said. “Everything all right?”
***
Bucky was very excited for Veronica's pregnancy, but he was doing his best to keep it under wraps because she'd asked them to. It wasn't easy, not by a long shot, so he ended up overcompensating a little and made particularly healthy dishes for dinner since the announcement. Most of the meals he cooked were healthy and well rounded, but that was particularly true now. As such, he'd needed to do some reorganizing of the kitchen to make sure there was a prevalence of fruits, veggies, whole grains, plus a variety of cheeses and proteins.
He wasn't foolish enough to remove all the junk food though, so he was making homemade chocolate peanut butter brownies on his afternoon off. Now that V was expecting, he'd arranged his schedule so that he was working half days only, alternating between the two shops. Their family was growing and that meant there were going to be plenty of things to do around the house that would otherwise get relegated to weekends.
Bucky had just finished scraping the batter into the pan when he heard someone enter the house and then the kitchen. "Hey, yea, everything's fine. I forgot a couple of things at the grocery store so I took a half day today and figured I'd make the most of it." The batter had raw eggs in it so it went into the sink and he ran the water into the bowl to prevent her from being tempted into tasting it.
"What's got you home early?" There was definite concern in his voice even though he was doing his best to not jump to any conclusions.
***
“I didn’t have any pressing cases so I figured I’d come home and take a nap before dinner,” Veronica said. She did appreciate that he’d been cooking healthier, but her nose did not miss the scent of chocolate and she walked over to investigate what he was making. “Ooh, brownies. Guess they won’t be ready for a little while.”
She was rethinking the nap thing. At least until the brownies were done because there was nothing better than a fresh from the oven chocolate treat. “Will I be in your way if I put the kettle on?” she asked.
***
He was a little concerned that she was coming home to nap, but maybe it wasn't anything major to worry about. Bucky was going to be the type to helicopter, there was no two ways about it. He just didn't want to annoy V so early in her pregnancy, so he swallowed down the question.
"Twenty-five minutes," he confirmed when she came over to see what he was making. "Not at all. Just grabbed some new teas earlier this afternoon, too." Bucky had stocked up on ginger, mint, chamomile, and every kind of 'pregnancy tea' that had been at the tea shop so she'd have her choice of what she wanted to try. Whatever she liked, he'd make sure they stayed stocked in it.
"How're you doing with all of this?" Bucky knew he was excited, just like he knew Steve was excited, but he was wondering if maybe the need for a nap had anything to do with how she was feeling about the pregnancy.
***
Veronica grabbed the tea kettle off the stove and filled it with water, getting it set up on the stove before answering his question. “I’m… okay,” she said. “A little more tired than usual. And being cautious about what I eat.” Luckily, she hadn’t had terrible morning sickness. At least not yet.
It was easier to discuss the physical side of the pregnancy than the emotional side. She didn’t know if Bucky was aware of just how shitty her mother had been or how afraid she was that being a terrible mother was in her genes and it wasn’t something she was particularly keen on discussing.
“Are you sure you bought enough tea?” she asked as she rummaged through the cabinet. There was probably enough here to get her through her entire pregnancy. And then some.
***
The way she paused before saying she was okay worried him. It made him wonder if maybe there was something else going on. Bucky wasn’t entirely sure he had the right to pry, but he could do so gently to see what she’d tell him. Maybe he was just being overly sensitive because this was the first pregnancy for their little family. The first of many, hopefully. Some days, he thought Ella had the right idea to just have and raise as many children as she could. They’d talked about it some, on those times when he checked in on her. He didn’t have to do that too often anymore now that she had the Pack and McCree, but he still did every so often.
“Figured you should have a good variety,” he replied with a shrug, entirely unapologetic about it. “Anything you don’t like, I’ll make sure gets passed along to someone who’ll use it.” There were plenty of tea drinkers in Madison Valley and his first thoughts were of Ella and Bruce.
Once the brownies were in the oven, he moved over to the cabinets to grab two mugs for them. “Would you grab an Irish Breakfast for me?” He went for the honey and a lemon, since that was how he preferred to take his tea.
“I know it’s still real early yet,” Bucky began as he picked his approach. “Feels like it hasn’t really set in yet.” Maybe that would get her to open up a bit.
***
“It simultaneously feels like we’re going to be waiting forever and that there is no time to prepare,” Veronica said, grabbing his requested tea and a ginger blend that sounded interesting from the cupboard before turning to face him. “One of those weird dichotomies.”
She wasn’t sure that even an elephant’s pregnancy would give her enough time to be fully prepared and confident about having a child. Raising an infant was going to be a lot different than mothering a couple of teenagers.
Leaning against the counter, she sighed. “There’s so much to do, but it seems like tempting fate to start doing it yet.” There were a lot of cultures that avoided talking about or celebrating pregnancy for that very reason.
***
"Well, the good thing is, you've got a super soldier husband, plus his super soldier best friend and his Kryptonian fiance to help get everything ready for the little one," Bucky pointed out. He had promised himself - and Kara - that he wouldn't refer to the baby as 'him' or 'he' until V and Steve shared the sex. If they found out. He was really hoping they did opt for that, just so he could know for sure they'd be having Keith or not.
"We could probably get a nursery up and running in a week if we had to." His goal was to at least relieve a little bit of her worries. "Jemma said everything was alright though?" Bucky trusted Jemma and Bruce more than any of the other doctors in Madison Valley, at least when it came to biological stuff. He just got the feeling that there was something else.
***
Getting the nursery ready wasn’t exactly high on her priority list. Veronica was more concerned about feeling ready for this baby and she knew that no matter how long she had, that wasn’t likely to change. “Please don’t start shopping yet,” she said, knowing his penchant for over doing things.
“But, yeah, Jemma said everything is progressing as it should be on the physical front,” she said, not quite realizing it was the second time she’d answered one of his questions by focusing on the physical and side-stepping the emotional.
***
Bucky chuckled. “I meant we could wait until a week before you’re due and turn it around real quick if you were concerned about starting too early.” He hadn’t bought anything yet, but he’d absolutely filled his wish list full of items he wanted to get his nephew - or niece. He was going to over do it regardless, so it was just a matter of when and how he would do it so that it wouldn’t piss them off.
It wasn’t lost on him that she was just focusing on the physical side of things. Bucky frowned slightly and tried another, more direct tactic.
“How are you feeling about all of this, though? You know, emotionally speaking.” The look he gave her wasn’t quite pointed but it was hopeful that she’d share the answer she’d been avoiding.
***
Veronica was grateful that the tea kettle whistled then, giving her an excuse not to answer Bucky’s question immediately. She didn’t want Steve to know that she was struggling, didn’t want to dampen his excitement, and she wasn’t sure if Bucky would be willing to keep that to himself.
“I’m okay,” she said after a few moments of fussing with pouring water into their mugs. It wasn’t an overjoyed response, but it was accurate. “Steve’s over the moon.” That made her happy. Her husband was an amazing father already and she had no doubt he would continue to be with their baby. “Our baby will have the best father, just like I did.”
***
She gave away a lot more in her answer than she probably realized. By focusing on Steve’s excitement and how positive she was that he’d be a great dad, Bucky heard her doubts that she wouldn’t be a good mother and that she maybe wasn’t as excited as Steve. Quietly, but not silently, he got up from the table and joined her by the kettle. Bucky put one hand on hers and just barely managed to stop himself from pulling her into a hug. He loved Veronica in a different way than how he loved Kara and Steve, but he loved her all the same.
“They’ll have the best mom, too,” he replied gently. Bucky didn’t know why she had those doubts, but he knew they were unfounded. “It’ll be a learning curve for all of us, but I don’t have any doubt that you’re going to be amazing.” She was so good with Molly and Summer, better than he and Steve half the time. Sure, a baby was different from a teenager, but they were all starting at the bottom together. They’d figure it out and they’d succeed because of the support they had for one another.
***
“Did Steve ever tell you about my mom?” she asked.
Of course, Veronica appreciated the support and knew that her baby was going to have a lot of people to love and care for it. She knew that Bucky and Kara would be like a second set of parents, that the four of them would end up co parenting this baby just as much as they did the girls and she was grateful for that.
And she knew that she was doing a pretty good job with Summer and Molly, but that didn’t completely allay her fears of following in Lianne’s footsteps.
***
Bucky shook his head. "I take it she wasn't all that great?" He'd only ever heard her talk about her dad, now that he thought about it. There wasn't much else that needed to be said for him to connect the dots, but he did want to hear what she wanted to tell him. He took their mugs and led her into the family room so they could sit on the couch and be comfortable. This wasn't the sort of conversation to have at the kitchen table.
"You don't have to tell me everything," he promised as they settled on the couch. "Just what you're comfortable with." Bucky was happy to pry but not about this. Having the knowledge that she was worried was enough to help him temper his own actions because the last thing he wanted to do was make things worse.
***
Tucking her legs up under her, Veronica took her mug back from Bucky and cradled it in her hands. “My mom was an alcoholic,” she said. “Probably still is. I haven’t talked to her in years. She ran out on me and my dad when things got tough. I used my college fund to put her in rehab and she took off from there too.” That was the bare bones basic story, but it was probably enough to make it obvious to Bucky why Veronica had qualms about being a mother.
As much as she loved Summer and Molly, this felt a lot different and it scared her. A lot.
***
Just those first five words were enough to make him understand why she had concerns. Bucky did think they were unfounded, and not in the least because she wasn't an alcoholic. "Sounds like she didn't appreciate the family she had," he commented. "But if there's one thing I know with absolute certainty, it's that you care about our family, and you care about Stevie." There was a reason he hadn't tried to stop the wedding when they'd all been a little confused about what point in the relationship they were at.
"You're probably not going to believe that you'll be a great mom until after the little one comes, though, huh?" Bucky had a feeling there wasn't going to be any convincing her that of that fact beforehand. He'd just do everything in his power to make sure she got there sooner rather than later.
***
She wasn’t surprised that Bucky was able to understand the crux of the issue so quickly. He was a lot more intuitive about that kind of thing than Steve was. “I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever believe it,” Veronica admitted. “Or at least not until this one is as old as Summer and Molly.” Then she might.
“Steve knows about my hesitations, we talked about it a lot before we decided to try,” she said. “But I don’t want him to worry about this now.”
***
It bothered him a lot to hear that she thought it would take a decade and a half for her to consider she might be a good mom, but Bucky held his tongue. Arguing with her now would be pointless, but he would talk to Steve about it, and Kara. They could all do their part to help Veronica come to terms with this.
When she said she didn't want Steve to worry, Bucky chuckled. "Now, I know you know your husband as well as I do," he teased, "so I think he's going to worry about a lot of things when it comes to you being pregnant." Steve Rogers wasn't one to forget that kind of thing either, not when it came to people he loved. "But I won't bring it up to him, if that's what you're after." Bucky squeezed V's ankle reassuringly because he didn't want her to worry what he might or might not say to her husband.
This was one of those things she would have to work through on her own.
***
“Thanks, Bucky,” she said, offering him a smile. Veronica knew that both Steve and Bucky were probably going to drive her crazy with their hovering for the next nine months and she’d mostly made her peace with that. She also knew that it was probably borderline crazy for her to be so worried about this. After all, simply having the awareness meant she was far less likely to follow in Lianne’s footsteps.
She sipped her tea. “Hey, your brownies should be just about ready to come out of the oven, shouldn’t they? Want me to taste test them?”
***
Steve was real lucky to have a woman like Veronica in his life. Bucky’d swear on his life that Mrs Rogers would’ve loved her. He was content to let her have the feelings she was having and would do his best to not make things harder for her. Just doing things probably wouldn’t go over well which meant he was going to have to curb some of his more extravagant tendencies. Kara was going to have to help him with that.
He chuckled when she said the brownies were almost ready, especially since the timer went off less than a moment after she asked to be a taste tester. “They sure could use a test,” he agreed good naturedly. “Let me get you a piece.” Bucky got up from the couch and headed toward the kitchen, feeling very much like they’d gotten closer. They’d get through this as a family. That was the important part.