InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Life is a Cabret!"

Steve Rogers (neverdanced) wrote in madisonvalley,
@ 2017-12-25 20:09:00

Entry tags:

!closed, !log, ~2017 december, ~25 points, ~~bucky barnes (notzimniysoldat), ~~steve rogers (neverdanced)

Who: Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes
What: besties, boyfriends, brothers
When: Monday night
Where: Their House
Warnings: TBD
Status: Closed/On-going

It had been the best Christmas Steve could remember ever having. Everyone healthy and happy and their family together. Steve married, planning on having a baby before too long, their girls growing up, happy and healthy and learning to take care of themselves, and now Bucky was officially engaged. He’d known it was coming, been waiting that morning for the announcement so they could all celebrate it as a family.

After the day together wound down, everyone starting to drift off to bed after eating themselves silly, something Steve was never going to get over being able to do, he cornered Bucky in the kitchen where his friend was just finishing up getting everything tidied away. He had a bottle of scotch that they both knew would do nothing to them and a pair of glasses in one hand.

Clinking the glasses together to catch Bucky’s attention, he just tilted his head to invite him along into the living room, handing over a glass when he was joined on the sofa.

“Congratulations,” he said, though he’d said it before today.

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notzimniysoldat
2017-12-27 12:39 am UTC (link)

Bucky was really happy, despite the very significant hurdle they still had to cross. Kids was a big deal, a make or break kind of deal, so they needed that answer before they were going to walk down the aisle. Obviously Steve was going to be his best man when the time came, but he wasn't too worried about the rest of it. Now that it had been brought up, he'd been wanting to talk to Steve about it. He just hadn't wanted to ruin the day by focusing on the negatives.

Now that the day was mostly over and the girls had drifted off to bed, Bucky was just finishing up the last of the clean up. He heard Steve's footsteps before he heard the clink of the glasses, so he just wiped his hands on one of the dish towels and followed his best friend into the living room.

"Thanks," he replied with a smile. "Almost didn't happen," Bucky admitted. He hadn't been able to tell the whole story to Steve until now but it wasn't something he'd ever hide from his best pal. "Kara brought up about kids and how it might not be possible to have them for ourselves." And it was something he was worried about.

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neverdanced
2017-12-27 03:04 am UTC (link)

Steve didn't need more explanation than that. He knew Bucky as well as he knew himself, maybe even better, and he knew what a big deal having kids was. It wasn't make or break for him, not now, but it was because they had Molly and they had Summer and even if Veronica had said no, not yet, the possibility would have been there. He knew it wasn't like that for Bucky and Kara.

He hummed thoughtfully, pouring them both a healthy drink and taking a sip of his own.

"Did you decide to figure a way or what we've got's enough?" Those were the only options as far as far as he was concerned.

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notzimniysoldat
2017-12-27 03:45 am UTC (link)

He took a sip of his own scotch and just kind of let the question sit there for a few minutes while he tried to wrap his head around it. Bucky honestly had put it to the back of his mind so that he could focus on the fact that she said yes.

"We decided to let the scientists figure it out," he replied. Instinctively, he glanced toward the ceiling as if he could see where his fiancé was. "We have to be able to have kids. I can't-" Bucky stopped himself and took another sip. "It's selfish. I'm probably going to pay for it in more ways than one if we ever get sent home, but I want kids of my own." He knew Steve would understand that he didn't love Molly any less for not being his. He just wanted something he'd honestly never thought he'd ever get to have, not since going to war. It would break him and his relationship if it turned out they couldn't.

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neverdanced
2017-12-27 04:39 am UTC (link)

That was something Steve understood perfectly. He wanted kids of his own, too. He and Veronica were going to have at least one of their own, they'd go from there. It wasn't because the girls weren't enough. It was just different. It was something they both needed.

"Of course you do. And you'll have them, sooner or later." Steve didn't have faith in many things but he was willing to put some in the universe giving Bucky some happiness. "Worry about making that girl your wife, first. There's plenty of time."

Because one or both of them going home wasn't an option. He couldn't let it be an option because none of them would ever move forward with their lives if they did. If Steve had learned anything in his time here it was that the threat of loved ones leaving shouldn't put everything else on hold.

"And if the worst happens, to either of you, you know Veronica and I are here or you." It wouldn't even be a question to step in and help raise, even take over raising, a baby if they needed to.

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notzimniysoldat
2017-12-27 04:59 am UTC (link)

"She raised a good point though. About whether or not I'll still love her if it turns out we can't have kids." The way he said it, Bucky firmly believed it was a real possibility. He wasn't worried about one of them getting sent home for good, either now or when they did have kids.

"I know you guys will always be there for us, that if I get sent home you'll look after our girls, just like you know I'll do the reverse in a heartbeat. But what if it doesn't turn out the way we want? I can't- I can't let her walk down the aisle without knowing with certainty that I'm not going to leave her if it turns out we're unable to have kids." He was being a little bit dramatic, but he had gone immediately to the worst case scenario and it was proving impossible for him to pull himself out of it.

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neverdanced
2017-12-29 02:21 am UTC (link)

"You really think you'd ever do that, Buck?" Steve knew he was being dramatic, understood where it was coming from but thought it was completely unnecessary. He knew Bucky, knew the kind of man he was, and didn't have any of the same concerns. Quite the opposite, he was unshakably sure that he'd be standing beside his friend one of these days, kids in the picture or not.

"'Cause I'll tell you what, pal. Your ma'd be ashamed of you for even thinking that's the kind of man you're gonna be."

Steve got it, but there were more important things and he was sure Bucky just hadn't realized that for himself yet.

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notzimniysoldat
2017-12-29 03:19 am UTC (link)

Bucky heard what Steve thought the answer was to the question he'd asked. Instead of answering, he just swallowed down the last of his scotch and took the bottle to pour himself another. He topped off Steve's glass while he was at it because he knew it wasn't going to make a difference.

"My Ma's got a hell of a lot more to be ashamed of me for," he pointed out, but there wasn't any heat behind it. Steve was right in that it probably wouldn't be as big of a deal breaker as he was making it out to be, but Bucky worried that he would hate Kara for not being able to give him children. Especially if there wasn't anything physically stopping them from having kids aside from the fact that she was Kryptonian.

"But I know if the time comes, you'll set me straight."

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neverdanced
2017-12-30 04:17 am UTC (link)

"I'm not about to let you walk away from what's probably the best thing to ever happen to you, Buck," he said gently, reached out to rest his hand against Bucky's leg with a small, reassuring smile. "I know what you're thinking, and I understand. You know I do."

Having kids of his own was important to Steve, too, and he was lucky enough that that was going to become a reality, the parts of it that worried him aside. And he knew how important family was to Bucky. Better than probably anyone, Steve understood exactly where he was coming from.

"When you made the choice to ask her, though, I'd bet none of that went through your mind." Steve knew that from experience, too, though it wasn't with Veronica.

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notzimniysoldat
2017-12-31 06:37 am UTC (link)

"Tied for the best thing," he replied. "Meeting Kara changed my life, but so did meeting you." Bucky knew he was lucky that the woman he loved understood that Steve would always be a big part of his life and in his heart. He sighed and leaned back on the couch.

"I asked her because I know I want to spend as much time as I have here with her by my side." The dome was unpredictable and he didn't want to waste any time. That was the same reasoning he had for a lot of things he'd done in his life here. "I know that she accepts me for who I am, nightmares and all." Kara was one of a kind and he knew he couldn't just walk away from her, no matter what happened about them having kids. He had to hold onto that small bit of hope that the daughter the dome had showed them was still possible.

"After the kids? I didn't think it was a question of us being able to have kids." And Kara loved him enough to tell him no, even if it had only been at first.

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neverdanced
2018-01-02 06:44 am UTC (link)

Steve just shook his head a little, not protesting the comparison or the meaning he had in Bucky's life, but they weren't talking about the two of them. Theirs was a different kind of relationship, one that after a long time here and a couple kids who looked at them both as fathers, and a few days when they'd been able to get drunk and used it s an excuse, even Steve would admit that it was probably only because they'd never thought to look at each other that way.

"Look, Buck." He shifted a little to look at his friend, calm and steady, unwavering faith that whatever power was in the universe would make good on the debt to him. He didn't have faith in a lot anymore, but in that he had to. "I can't tell you what's going through your head but I'd put my last dollar on you not thinking about it because it's not part of the question. You want kids. Great." Obviously Steve wanted for Bucky to be able to have kids of his own, would be there to support him in making that happen, but he didn't think it had anything to do with wanting to marry a girl.

"You both do, and I'll tell you what that's one better than Veronica and I were a couple of months ago. You'll find a way to make it happen, or you won't; either way, I don't think even not being able to have one of your own could make you want to leave that woman. I've seen the two of you together." And Steve knew Bucky. Well enough to know that what he saw was different. Special. Solid. So his friend needed to stop worrying about that.

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notzimniysoldat
2018-01-04 12:47 am UTC (link)

It was kind of amazing how he really just needed to hear it a couple of times from Steve to make it stick. Bucky still worried, he would always worry, that he wouldn’t make the right decision when the time came. He trusted Steve though, trusted that his friend knew him better than he knew himself on some things. This was one of those things because Steve always believed in the best part of him. Bucky was still working on that and he still had a ways to go.

“I wouldn’t ever find anyone to replace her,” Bucky agreed. Kara had caught him entirely by surprise but he would be the first to admit that he was a better man for it. “Let’s see what the scientists say. Might need to have a part two of this conversation, depending on how that goes.” He hoped it would be possible, that Kara would be willing to go through whatever they needed to. The one thing he was crystal clear on was if it was going to put her life at risk, they’d find another way. It was that thought, along with Steve’s quiet confidence, that tipped things for him. It gave him back some of his smile and good cheer.

“You and V are gonna try for one of your own?” He hadn’t missed that part of the conversation.

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neverdanced
2018-01-04 03:58 am UTC (link)

Steve didn't need to say that he was always happy to beat a little sense into his best friend. Bucky knew that as well as he knew the same would be done for him if he ever let himself get a little lost. A hundred times over in the past Bucky had talked him down, shut him up and stopped him from running off into something stupid when he really shouldn't have, a hundred more Steve had just been too stubborn to listen and gotten the 'told you so's after. That was just what they did for each other. The time they'd spent apart didn't change that one bit.

If anything, it had only given Steve more chances to tell Bucky he was being an idiot.

He broke out into a broad smile, for once letting himself get sidetracked, satisfied that he'd gotten through for now and ready and willing to speak up if he needed to, depending on how things went. "Knew you were gearing up to pop the question on your girl so I didn't want to tell you just yet but." He paused, and nodded. "We're going to talk to the girls and see what they think but looks like we've got a goal for the new year."

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notzimniysoldat
2018-01-05 01:06 am UTC (link)

Bucky smacked Steve lightly across his shoulder. "You should've said something," he insisted, although he'd just settle for hoping that his friend would tell him next time, like when they got pregnant. "Good luck with the girls. Let me know if you need anything from me," he added, because if he had to help convince the girls it was a good idea, he'd happily do it.

"You and V could get out of getting me and Kara a wedding gift if you guys announce your pregnancy by our wedding, just so you know." Bucky smirked and poured them both a bit more to drink. It would be amazing if there was a baby in their house in the next year. And another shortly there after, hopefully.

[ooc: and wrap on yours?]

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neverdanced
2018-01-06 02:49 am UTC (link)

There probably wouldn't be any issues with the girls, Steve thought, though Molly was always a question. He had no doubt that everything would go fine and in a few months' time they'd be expecting. And news like that, there was no way Steve was going to be able to sit on something like that when it happened. Bucky would know almost as soon as he did himself.

He laughed a little, leaning back on the couch. "You just worry about your end of that deal, pal." Bucky had a wedding to get planning. "I'll see what I can do about mine."

Smiling, content in the way things were headed these days, he just tapped his glass against Bucky's and fell into an easy, companionable silence in which to celebrate both of them.

[ooc: and wrap!]

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