Bellamy Blake | The 100 (mademeamurderer) wrote in madisonvalley, @ 2017-11-05 19:30:00 |
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Entry tags: | !completed gdoc, !log, !open, ~2017 november, ~25 points, ~~bellamy blake (mademeamurderer), ~~tefe holland (tefe_holland) |
WHO: Bellamy Blake and Tefe Holland
WHAT: Having a Talk
WHEN: Saturday
WHERE: Bellamy's place
WARNINGS: Nah
STATUS: Closed/Completed Gdoc
Tefe had said she would meet Bellamy at his house for lunch on Saturday so she could meet him. Of course she wasn’t sure where he lived but it wasn’t that hard to find out so somewhere around noon time she headed that way. Of course she said she’d buy food but she didn’t know what he liked or wanted so she had deliberated a little bit before deciding if he was anything like the rest of the people from their time the last thing he would be was picky about food. That meant she just went by that burger place that everyone seemed to like and picked up food on her way.
It meant she showed up at his door wearing jeans, a thin t-shirt and sandals with a bag from Hinkles in her hand when she knocked.
***
Bellamy had no idea who Tefe was, except that she was a friend of Octavia’s. And if Octavia had told her about him, and she wanted to meet him, he wasn’t going to say no. Any chance he got to angle himself back into Octavia’s life, he was going to take. Nothing had felt worse than those weeks he’d been entirely excluded from from everything she did, and he wasn’t going to go back there.
Hearing the knock on the door, he was there in a few seconds, and opened it. He was wearing jeans and a t-shirt too, nothing fancy. He looked at her for a minute before stepping out of the way.
“Tefe, right? Come on in.”
***
“Yes, I’m Tefe.” She didn’t think that Octavia would have told Bellamy anything about her so she wasn’t sure what he thought of her wanting to meet him. Once she was inside she held out the bag of food to Bellamy. “I thought since the others like these you probably would.”
Everyone seemed to eat the Hinkles food.
***
“Um, yeah, thanks,” he said, taking the bag of burgers and putting them on the table. He’d eat one in a little bit, once they were a bit more settled. Hinkleburgers actually weren’t Bellamy’s favorite - too much grease - but he would eat them to be polite. A little stomach upset wasn’t that much of a price to pay for befriending his sister’s friends.
He motioned to the chairs in the living room.
“So, um, have a seat.”
This was more than a little awkward. She’d come by to meet him, and she’d met him. What now?
***
There was at least some other things in the bag, she’d gotten an assortment since she didn’t really eat unless she was being polite and joining in with other people.
Tefe watched him the whole time he was moving and still watched him while she sat down at the invitation. She could tell they were siblings. And she remembered how much Octavia had liked being with him when they were little. But Tefe wasn’t sure she trusted him.
“I’m not good at conversations.”
***
Bellamy snorted a bit at that, shaking his head. “Yeah, that makes two of us.” It was Clarke who did all the talking back home. He did the acting. He did what had to be done. He didn’t spend his time sitting around and talking about it.
“So...how do you know my sister?”
Seemed like as good of a place to start as any.
***
“We met here. I was here when Lincoln went home. I’ve stayed with her since.” Tefe was glad that no one at the house expected her to be a chatterbox, she would be terrible at it. She did at least speak up more than she used to around them.
“I care about her. And brother or not if she gets mad at you like she did again I’ll make sure you never see her or Aurie again. But since she doesn’t feel that way right now it’s fine.” It wasn’t said in a threatening way, it was almost off hand in a matter of fact way. She wasn’t threatening him at all. She just would do what Octavia wanted.
***
Bellamy nodded. Despite the hurt in his heart that he couldn’t have been there for Octavia during those times, he was glad that someone had been. He was glad that she hadn’t been alone.
“I didn’t mean to hurt her, you know. I never meant to hurt her. What happened...I made a stupid choice, but I didn’t choose what happened. I never wanted Lincoln dead.”
He had only wanted to do the right thing for their people. It seemed that every time he did something wanting that, good people died.
***
Tefe wondered what he would have thought of how badly it had been for Octavia after Lincoln. It had taken her so long to even be able to look at Aurie again because of how she reminded her of what she’d lost. But Tefe definitely wasn’t going to tell him. It wouldn’t help now.
“I’m not asking you to explain anything to me. I’m not good at understanding if something is right or wrong and I don’t know enough about your world to know if something could have been done differently.” Politics and things like that were something she had no patience for. Tefe tended to just cut right through all of it and do things her own way instead. In the past that meant just killing whoever was a problem. “She wants you around and that’s good enough for me.”
But she wasn’t the only one he might have to watch out for. “Fair warning, if you do anything even accidentally that hurts her or Aurie you probably should look out for Erik too.”
***
“Who is Erik?” He asked. Bellamy had never heard that name before, but then again, there were a lot of people in Madison Valley who he didn’t know. It wasn’t terribly surprising, as he’d been mostly antisocial since arriving here.
He hated listening to these warnings, though. He was the one who was supposed to be threatening people and protecting Octavia. She was his sister, dammit. He stood suddenly, and started pacing.
“I would never hurt Octavia.”
Not on purpose, anyway.
***
“He lives with us. I think Aurie pretty much looks at him like a substitute father.” Tefe had seen how easily the toddler wrapped the potentially very dangerous man around her finger with one quiver of her lip in a pout. It was weird to watch.
“I didn’t say you’d try to do it. But things happen, especially here.” She just passively watched him get up and start pacing.
***
“I don’t know him,” Bellamy said, sounding annoyed that another man had taken the place that he should have had in his niece’s life. He had a strong desire to track the man and punch him, but he swallowed his emotions. It wasn’t fair. This Erik had done nothing wrong. He himself had.
“Things happen everywhere,” he said. Things he couldn’t control. Things he wished he could go back and change. But sometimes decisions you made led to consequences that you could never predict. That’s what happened with Lincoln. I thought I was doing the best thing for our people. I was wrong.”
How many times did he have to say that?
***
“You’re right. Things happen everywhere. I’m not saying they will but this place has a way of fucking with people and Octavia’s had a lot of it come her way. It’s more a warning that this place might decide to use you to do it.” She really was aware of how much this place liked to hit the same people over and over and she hated it.
“I don’t care what happened. I told you I’m not good at figuring out the right and wrong thing. I just want you to know.” He should probably get to know Erik but it might not be a good time right now. He was crabby.
***
Unfortunately, he was used to the universe using him to hurt his sister. That’s kind of what he’d felt happened with Lincoln back home. So he totally accepted the fact that this place could cause the same sort of thing to happen. As he looked at her, he got the feeling also that she could definitely follow up on those threats, no matter how little she appeared. She was a little freaky, and a little weird, and he wasn’t exactly sure what to make of her. He definitely wasn’t going to underestimate her.
“Yeah. Yeah, I get it. I hear you.”
He was pretty sure if he hurt Octavia again, he’d want to have his ass kicked. He definitely wasn’t living up to what he promised himself when he did that.
“But look, I love Octavia. I know she doesn’t think so, but she’s everything to me. She’s my sister. And she’s always been my responsibility before now. And I don’t think I’ve done too bad.”
Not until Lincoln, anyway.
***
“She obviously wants you around. So you must have done something right.” Tefe would do whatever Octavia wanted. If she wanted her brother then she’d make sure Bellamy was around and no one hurt him. If she changed her mind and wanted him gone then he’d never see her again.
But she was pretty sure it was going to be the first option, Bellamy around her and Aurie.
“I just want whatever she wants for you and her.”
***
“Yeah, well, I hope she wants me around.” He said. He felt kind of pathetic that it mattered so much to him what his sister wanted, but it did. He’d been pretty down the last few months, with her rejecting him so brutally.
“You want a burger?”
They were starting to get cold on the table, and he still couldn’t bring himself to waste food.
***
“Of course she does. If she didn’t you wouldn’t have seen her and Aurie.” Tefe looked at the bag and hesitated, only because she didn’t have to eat that way, but she was trying to do it more around other people to be social. Some people were social drinkers she was a social snacker.
“Okay. If you don’t mind.” Eating with someone was supposed to be a very social thing so she wanted to do it.
***
“Nah, I don’t mind at all.” If he ate that whole bag of burgers, he’d be so sick he wouldn’t know what to do with himself. And that wasn’t his idea of a good time.
“I appreciate you letting me back into her life,” he said. “But I hope you know that I do love her. Even if I’ve screwed up a lot in the past.”
He handed her a burger.
“People screw up sometimes. That doesn’t mean you should just give up on them.”
***
“I don’t think there’s anyone here that hasn’t screwed up somehow Bellamy.” She took the burger and unwrapped it to take a small bite. It was a really weird mix of flavors and textures so she was chewing slowly with a thoughtful look.
“A lot of us have screwed up really badly. No one is going to argue against second chances being a good thing probably.” She’d killed people. More people than he had probably and she still didn’t feel guilty about the killing. She just wanted to be better than she was.
***
“I wish I could go back,” he said. “And fix things. I wish I could see Pike for what he really was. But wishing’s fucking useless once something’s already happened. And all I can do now is do the best I can to make it up to her. I know I can’t completely, but I hope that someday she’ll forgive me.”
He sighed, and ate one of the burgers slowly. He hoped it wouldn’t completely set off his stomach.
***
“Since you can’t go back work on going forward.” It was something someone said to her on the road after she left home one time. She’d told them she didn’t think she could ever make up for what she’d done when she didn’t know better and didn’t know what to do. It was stupid advice but helpful at the same time.
“She loves you. You’re her brother.”
***
Bellamy wasn’t sure of that. She’d been so angry to him, so cold, so hateful. He understood why she was, but it sure didn’t seem like love to him.
“Yeah. That’s what I’m going to do. Working on going forward.”
He hoped that she understood that meant doing everything in his power not to cause Octavia any more pain.
“Another burger?”
***
That was one of the few things that Tefe actually understood about emotions. You couldn’t be as angry or hate as much if there wasn’t love there. You had to have the positive to create the negative.
“Good. You guys will do fine eventually.” Tefe’s expression was neutral at the idea of another burger. She was only about three bites into the one she had so she shook her head. “No thanks I’m not used to the...texture I guess. Maybe I’ll take it home for someone else to eat.”
Because it would get really awkward here if she stayed longer trying to make conversation most likely.