Who: Shawn and Gus What: Exploring Vancouver, maybe some detective work. You know. When: Day 1 - between this and this Where: Downtown Vancouver Rating: low
“I’m just saying, Gus. Vancouver looks a lot like Santa Barbara. It’s weird.”
It had taken a hot minute for Shawn to get over the fact he and Juliet weren’t in a room together. Of course they weren’t in a room together. He didn’t like what the Dome seemed to be implying all the time. While he and Gus both had plans in a short while with their perspective women, Shawn had declared the necessity for a Japadog which he had fallen in love with the last time he and Gus were here.
As they passed a building, Shawn spotted a sign advertising a new art exhibit. Shawn flew out his hand like a ‘mom seat belt’ and did a loud, dramatic gasp that extended maybe a little too long. “Gus! Look! Clearly this is a sign.”
What sign, you ask Gus? Shawn did not provide this to you.
–
Waking up (a) on a boat and (b) in a room with his best friend’s wife were not Gus’s idea of a good time. Even though everyone said cruise ships were too big and stable to cause seasicknesses, he was instantly queasy when he got out of bed and had to make a mad dash to the bathroom before trying to figure out what the hell was going on. Luckily, Juliet was willing to seek out seasick patches for him and that helped a lot, though he wasn’t entirely sure he was ready for a Japadog.
He wasn’t going to turn down Shawn’s suggestion though, partially because of the guilt he felt about the dome throwing him and Juliet together again. Yes, he was aware it made no sense to feel guilt because it wasn’t anything he had control over, and yet he did.
“It does not look like Santa Barbara, Shawn,” he argued. “For one thing, it is much colder.” Even in July, there was a crispness in the air that Gus never felt in California. He had several other points in favor of his argument, but didn’t get a chance to share them when Shawn abruptly stopped.
Gus looked up at the sign and then back to his best friend. “Shawn, what kind of sign are rocks with faces?”
*
Alright, he’d give Gus the colder thing, but otherwise Shawn thought there were some locations that seemed to be similar. He didn’t have time to explain how they were similar because now he had to explain his other important thoughts to his best friend.
“Uh, just all the signs Gus.” Duh. “Do you know who couldn’t possibly pass up an opportunity for ancient rock faces? Despereaux.” He straightened up like he was some sort of character in a movie about to deliver some important lines. “I think we were sent here, Gus. I think we were sent here on purpose to fulfill our destinies.”
–
Gus immediately felt a headache starting to form when Shawn mentioned Despereaux. His best friend’s mancrush on the art thief led to nothing but trouble every time they crossed paths with him and Gus really, really hoped the man wasn’t going to put in an appearance.
“Shawn, that’s ridiculous,” he said. “The dome or whatever isn’t going to transport a couple hundred people to a cruise ship for two weeks so that you and I can fulfill some kind of destiny.” Plus there was the whole thing that any destiny involving Despereaux would involve a lot of chaos and Gus did not want that.
*
“Sure it would! Think about all the people involved to get Luke and Leia together. To get Frodo to Mordor. They killed half the entire universe for Marvel’s fourth phase.” Clearly, he and Gus were on the same level as all of Shawn’s examples. At least that was how Shawn saw it.
“Besides, we can’t not check it out now. Think of how bad of people we’d be if Despereaux did show up and steal a bunch of rocks with faces. Could you live with yourself then? Could you?”
–
“We’re here for a day,” Gus pointed out. “If he did, we likely wouldn’t even know.” He was tempted to argue that all of Shawn’s examples were fiction, but since living in Madison Valley and meeting people from all of their favorite franchises, that was a weak argument, even though he knew the fictional representations of those worlds were heavily dramatized.
Gus also knew his friend well enough to know that his day would go much better if he just agreed to visit the exhibit, so with a reluctant sigh, he said, “We can do a quick walk through of the exhibit though.”
*
Shawn jumped up and down like a kid whose parents just said they were going to Disneyland. He got a few stares as his bouncing was more than just one or two times, but he was celebrating - what did they expect from him? “This is going to be awesome. I promise.”
Japadog forgotten, Shawn steered them toward the art exhibit “Okay, we need to think up characters. How about art dealers? Art thieves? Facial recognition developers for the FBI wanting to add more diversity to the algorithm?”
–
In comparison to some of Shawn’s other antics, this was fairly tame, though Gus did give him a puzzled look. “Why do we need characters? No one knows us here so we don’t have to go undercover.” In fact, if they wanted to fly under the radar, the less obtrusive they were, the less likely people were to notice them at all.
Of course, flying under the radar was not typically Shawn’s style. At least this time, Gus didn’t have to worry about being embarrassed in front of a woman he was trying to impress.
*
He looked at his best friend like he asked the stupidest question ever. “Gus, don’t be Jason Derulo as Rum Tum Tugger in Cats. We’re going to end up back in Vancouver when the trip is done, right? What if something goes horribly, horribly wrong and we have the Vancouver Mafia after us?” Plus it was fun - that was really the main reason, but Shawn liked to make things complicated.
–
Gus was well aware of Shawn’s tendency to complicate things. He was also well aware of his own inability to refuse to go along with his friend’s wacky ideas. “Fine,” he said with a huff. “Pretending to be art thieves sounds like a bad idea. Dealers could maybe work. Or what about journalists writing about the exhibit?” He didn’t want to risk missing the entire cruise by getting tossed in jail in the universe where they had no contacts to bail them out.
“Too bad we don’t have anything to use as a disguise.”
*
“Uh. Don’t we?” Shawn made a stop at one of the tourist shops that was on the way to the exhibit. He came out with notepads, one that said ‘I love Vancouver’ on them and the other of a beaver wrestling a goose. He also had a pair of sunglasses on and a scarf despite it being July. “Gus, I really think you should put on the lion shirt. It completes the look.” Shawn had bought the t-shirt in Gus’ size and was currently in the bag around his wrist.
Now they were clearly journalists and headed for the gallery which he could see up ahead
Opening the door, they were greeted by a security guard. “Hello! My name is Emmanuel Gregorio Smith and this is my associate Monat Monat.” He somehow pronounced the first one without the T and the second one with the T. “We’re here to write an article on all the cool rock face things.” The guard stepped aside. Or really, he just sort of shifted since he wasn’t actually preventing anyone from going inside - it was a free showing and open to the public.
“See Gus? Perfect disguises.”
–
As far as Gus knew, journalists dressed professionally, not in t-shirts and sunglasses, but he also knew it was futile to argue with Shawn when he got something stuck in his head. He quickly pulled the lion t-shirt on over the plain shirt he was wearing and took one of the notepads.
The security guard gave them a skeptical once over, but clearly wasn’t paid enough to care if they were who they said they were or not. “Yeah, of course,” he said. “What are we looking for?” He was anxious to get done with this and get back to the ship for his plans with Martha.
*
“We’re looking for a very handsome and distinguished man disguised as anyone or anything.” Shawn said it like it was obvious, but also like they were in a spy mission briefing. Very dramatic. “See that woman in the hat? Could be him. Or that man with the monocle. Or even a rock face.” The words came out of his mouth then he suddenly gasped. “He’s a rock face Gus.”
–
“Shawn, none of the rock faces are big enough to be him,” Gus said. They were all on the smaller side, more the size of a fist than a human skull. He was starting to think he might never get Shawn out of here and he had plans with Martha that he did not intend to miss. If need be, he could call in Jules for reinforcement though.
He looked around at the handful of other people browsing the exhibit. None of them looked like Despereaux.
*
Shawn let out a sigh that was dramatic like a kid disappointed they weren't going into the arcade they just passed. "There has to be something here." He gestured out in front of jim. "This can't just be a perfectly normal display of rocks with faces in a perfectly normal city where healthcare is free and they care about the environment."
–
Gus gave his best friend an incredulous look. “We live in a town with wizards and superheroes and you work with Sherlock Holmes and you find this level of normalcy hard to believe?” Canada definitely had some advantages over the United States, though Gus knew their race relations weren’t a huge improvement. Regardless, none of that really mattered right now. What mattered was that he needed to get back to the ship so he could get ready for his date with Martha.
“Do you still want to get Japadogs?” he asked, hoping the thought of food would distract his best friend. “I have just enough time for that before I need to be back.”
*
Shawn paused. Like he froze dramatically as if someone put the pause button on life. Then he exhaled and started moving again. “Yes. Okay.” He sounded resound to not having an adventure today and sadly not being able to run into Despereaux. At least he could have some delicious food, right?
“Let me just get a replica face rock for Jules and then we can go get some delicious mashup of America and Japan in weiner form.”
–
That was easier than Gus was expecting and he let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding when Shawn agreed. “Deal,” he said. “Martha said she was finding something fun for us to do.” He was sure that whatever it was, he’d enjoy it.