Rowan Fricks (staghead) wrote in madisonvalley, @ 2021-05-26 19:36:00 |
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Entry tags: | !completed gdoc, !log, !trigger warning: bullying, allison hargreeves (changesreality), rowan fricks (staghead), ~2021 may |
Who: Rowan Fricks & Allison Hargreeves.
What: Rowan learns what Allison ability is because she wanted to help while ignoring what Rowan said.
Where: Outside the school.
When: Wednesday afternoon.
Warnings: Mediumish for talks of death, bullying, and Allison using her ability.
Status: Closed/Completed gdoc
It was hard to believe that Rowan was almost done high school, especially since she wasn’t even sure if she’d live to finish back home. With thezoo determined to end her and her friends, Rowan always knew there was a chance of her ending up dead. At least here, she didn’t have that concern. Might still have the bullies, which she was used to dealing with back in her own world, but they were a walk in the park compared to the ones back in her own world. Made Rowan able to shrug it off a bit easier since nothing done to her here was even close to what happened back home.
The day hadn’t been all that bad until near the end of school. Rowan had plans to stay after to work on some projects in the library that were due soon. Wanting to get ahead of the game rather than wait until the last minute. Or it had been until some girl who was in a few of her classes felt because Rowan had been talking with her boyfriend, then she must be trying to steal him. Rowan wanted to ignore the girl, knowing it was the best course of action after everything. There was also her dad’s voice telling her to let it go. That became a little harder when the girl decided to dump her ice coffee down the front of Rowan’s shirt causing a few kids to laugh.
Fighting back the words, knowing from all the other times it never solved anything only made things more of a nightmare. Instead, she texted Allison to bring her a new shirt after school so she could stay and work. Once the bell rang, she went outside and took a seat, trying to hide the front of her shirt from people to avoid the looks as she waited for a clean top.
****
Allison received Rowan’s text and immediately figured it had something to do with gym or science class. Accidents were more prone to happen in those, right? Allison didn’t exactly have the upbringing that warranted those kinds of experiences, but contact sports and chemicals felt like the more obvious culprits to her. She dug through Rown’s closet, careful to not disturb too much, and picked out a suitable shirt before making her way to the high school.
However, when she saw Rowan sitting there, she somehow knew this wasn’t chemicals or a rough gym class. Frowning, Allison walked over and took a seat next to her ward. If it had been an accident, she was pretty sure Rowan wouldn’t look so sad. Her own daughter was not nearly this old yet, but Allison could sense the unhappiness. Something had definitely happened.
“Hey, I brought you a shirt like you asked. Everything okay?” Allison held out the shirt to the teenager, aware that that Rowan smelled a lot like coffee. What was going on?
****
Rowan knew bullying was apart of life or at least, it was for her. Only she wasn’t even sure what started it up around here. What did she do this time to bring it back? Back home she knew what happened, and her part in causing the bullying, but this time she wasn’t even sure and she hated that more than anything. Then again she should consider herself lucky on how it wasn’t anywhere near as bad as back home and the ones coming at her weren’t as many. Probably the only plus side of this not being home.
No one here knew about the Dunbar incident, her mother, or anything that caused most of her hell back home. Just a bit longer than she’d be done with high school, and hopefully wouldn’t need to deal with this crap in the college around here. At the sight of Allison, she put on a fake smile. Last thing she wanted was for people to know how she seemed to bring trouble where she went or to lose another person around here who she liked. Though this time it would be her own fault for somehow starting up the drama without even meaning to do it.
Her father told her to ignore it, and Rowan was going to try and do just that. “Uh thanks, I hope I didn’t catch you at a bad time or anything,” she really hoped Allison hadn’t been busy. “Yeah, it’s nothing. Just some coffee was spilled and it ended up on me,” she lied, feeling super guilty about it. One thing to lie as a way to protect lives, but this was different and it was showing on her face or Rowan figured it was causing her to glance down. Taking the shirt, she pushed some dark hair out of her face.
***
Allison was not one to ignore things, especially when it came to someone hurting her or the people she cared about. It was why she had pursued Vanya’s “boyfriend” back home and while she had difficulty holding her tongue during the sit-in at the diner. It was why she had made that jackass pour coffee on himself as it gushed from her cup. Allison had power and while she often did not use it because of the trouble it could lead to, she also knew it could serve a very positive purpose too.
She could tell from the expression on Rowan’s face and the way she looked down that this was more than just coffee getting spilled. Allison held back the urge to “rumor” Rowan into telling her what really happened. Though Rowan wouldn’t know she had been “rumored,” Allison wanted to do this the right way. She already knew the consequences of rumoring someone under her care; she lost Clare for good.
“Are you sure that’s all it was, Rowan? You can tell me.” Allison instinctively looked around at any of the other students nearby. Allison didn’t need Rowan to tell her that kids could be cruel; she knew that well enough from growing up with the other Umbrellas. She’d even been a bully herself; it was one of the things she regretted the most with Vanya.
***
Rowan wasn’t one for talking about all the various ways people came at her, knowing it would solve nothing or she’d have to share more than she wanted. Not even her two best friends back home saw how bad it was for Rowan until she showed them only a few examples. No, she could shoulder it all on her own plus take on whatever to protect her friends. Even her own dad didn’t know the full extent of the bullying, fearing if he knew how serious it got, then he might try to fix it. Even with how different things were around here for Rowan than back home, she found some parts of it to be the same.
A sigh left her lips, shaking her head. “I know I can tell you,” Allison was nothing but great and Rowan enjoyed her whole family. The whole having superpowers was pretty cool but she also thought the family was pretty cool. While she had no idea what Allison could do, she knew it was something and hoped one day Allison would tell her since Rowan wasn’t about to push her into it. Or she hoped as long as she didn’t end up losing Allison or the people who she trusted around here. Fearing somehow all of this would fall on her and Allison or the ones who she cared about deciding she was nothing more than trouble. She was the common theme both in this world and back home, telling people something.
“It’s not a big deal,” she admitted, shrugging her shoulders. “A girl in one of my classes,” she nodded her head slightly in the direction of where she saw the girl talking to some of her friends, “thought I was trying to steal her boyfriend because we were talking. I have no interest in him, but she was warning me to back off. See no big deal and nothing I can’t handle. All she did was waste a cup of coffee.”
***
Allison looked over at the young woman Rowan had pointed out to her. It was a classic teenage move; to think Rowan was trying to steal her boyfriend when that wasn’t the case at all. Just stupid, foolish jealousy. Allison had felt something like that though; it was why she had used her abilities in the first place. She wanted to gain whatever she couldn’t have and she had. She’d become a movie star, got the man she wanted, and a daughter. Then it all went horribly wrong.
Allison pushed her own past from her mind and focused on the issues at hand. Allison didn’t like that Rowan had been bullied and humiliated. It angered Allison and she looked back at Rowan, still soaked in coffee, and made up her mind instantly. It was a risk, but if she sent Rowan off to the restroom to change, she could do it before her ward returned.
“Why don’t you go change and we can get out of here, okay? I’m sorry about her. “ Allison touched Rowan’s shoulder gently. “I’ll be right here.
***
Rowan wasn’t stupid and she could tell the look to a certain degree since she saw it on her older sister enough times. Brie always got a look close to that when she was thinking about ways to hurt or tell off the ones who were making Rowan’s life hell. Or she had before ending up in jail since Rowan didn’t see her as much anymore. The last thing she needed was Allison trying to do something nice and make a comment on something considering that would only fuel a fire that was already going.
“Yeah, but don’t go say anything, alright? It’s fine like I said and nothing I can’t handle,” she didn’t need more trouble. Only a little bit longer of being a target and then she was done, Rowan knew she could handle it. If she could survive everything back home, she knew this would be nothing she couldn’t handle.
Moving to stand up, she gave a small smile to Allison. “Thanks for this, and I’ll be right back. Nothing to be sorry about. I’m used to people like her, but it’s usually a lot more nightmarish than coffee that’s happening.” It was true, and Rowan knew she didn’t talk much about home; however, she felt it needed to be said. So Allison didn’t worry like some people worried back home about her. Mainly her sister and dad, but they didn’t know the full story cause she was afraid they’d change their feelings towards her. “I’ll be right back,” and with that she headed to change shirts, wanting to make it quick so Allison didn’t need to wait long.
***
Allison expected that answer. Of course Rowan would want her to say nothing and not interfere, but Allison was beyond that point. What kind of guardian was she if she didn’t try to help Rowan? She put a smile on and nodded. “Okay, I’ll be here.”
Allison watched Rowan disappear towards the restrooms and once she was out of sight, Allison descended on the girls. Her mind raced, wondering exactly what kind of torture she could possibly inflict upon them. It couldn’t be as awful as the cafe owner suffering first degree burns with the spilled coffee though it would be fitting given what they did to Rowan.
The bully noticed Allison first and moved to say something. Allison offered a smile. “Can I talk to you a moment? I’m trying to find my way to the office…”
The young woman stepped away from her friends and when she was far enough away, Allison whispered those haunting words..
“I heard a rumor you made out with an oak tree as soon as I walked away.” Allison turned to walk away and the young woman turned toward the tree and started kissing the bark passionately.
***
Rowan went into the bathroom, glancing at herself in the mirror for a moment before pulling the shirt off. Putting it on the counter, she pulled on her new one that was all dry. Grabbing a few paper towels, she got them a bit wet before wiping at the coffee stains on her shirt. After a moment, she sighed before tossing the paper towels out. It would have to do until she got home and could throw it in the laundry. Grabbing her shirt, she left the bathroom to see some kids laughing about something. Considering how she was normally the joke around other kids, Rowan was figuring whatever had people laughing was about her.
Heading for where Allison was waiting, she came outside to see some people recording the girl who gave her a hard time making out with a tree. How the hell did this happen? Why was this happening? Her eyes were wide in shock, noticing some kids laughing at the girl. Rowan would be lying if she said a small part of her wasn’t amused, but the bigger part of her knew what it felt like to be the butt of any jokes. To have everyone laughing, and she knew the dire consequences that could come from this.
Rowan wanted to help this girl because no matter what no one deserved this even one who was being mean to her. Maybe people were right on her being a pushover, but she was always going to stick to this since it worked in her favor most of the time. Moving over to Allison, she was glancing over in the direction of the tree, trying to figure out how to help the girl. “What happened? Did you see what caused that?” It had to be dome related or magic, but she wasn’t sure which or how to stop it. Unless it was magic maybe from someone who was tormented by her, then Rowan figured she’d need to talk to them.
***
Allison felt a sick sense of pride at using her abilities on the young woman. Maybe it would teach her a lesson in bullying others. Of course, there was the nagging voice in the back of her mind telling her that she shouldn’t have used her abilities. It always seemed to backfire on her somehow whenever she did. Lila had proved that when she made Allison practically suffocate to death with her own ability; if Luther hadn’t been there…
The sound of Rowan’s voice pulled Allison from her thoughts and she looked over at her ward and then back to the tree-licking young woman. Allison had to try very hard to keep her lips from twitching into a smile when she addressed Rowan. She was pretty sure that was an inappropriate response even if what was happening was justified in her eyes.
“Maybe she just has a thing for trees,” Allison remarked, shrugging her shoulders. “I hope her boyfriend doesn’t get jealous. Of course, after those videos go viral, she might not have to worry about that at all.”
***
Rowan could agree to a certain point how the girl deserved this for everything, but she knew it wasn’t right at all. This wasn’t fair to the girl and Rowan didn’t care what type of person that made her for trying to stop all of this. If Rowan could get Trevor to stop coming for her, she had to believe she could do it with this girl only it couldn’t be this way. “No, this isn’t right at all! I don’t care what type of person she might be no one deserves this,” Rowan’s tone was full of concern, knowing full well the impact a viral video could have on someone.
Her mind tried to piece everything together, hoping maybe she’d connect what might’ve caused this. Before turning to Allison, hoping maybe she was so very wrong and she’s owed the woman a huge apology. “Did you somehow cause this? Or did you see someone near enough to cause something like this?” Rowan was trying to give her an out because she didn’t want to think Allison did this. Yes, Rowan understood Allison trying to protect her, but this wasn’t the answer.
“If you know something, then please fix it or find someone who can,” she said before going back over to the bully and the tree. “Everyone move along, okay? Show is over!” Rowan called out, hating being in the limelight as she pulled the girl hard from the tree. “I’m sorry for that, but I think you should walk with me,” Rowan told the girl who kept trying to get back to the tree, forcing Rowan to keep her stance. Refusing to let her near the damn tree, hoping whoever was behind this might get bored with no more show. She had no idea how much longer she could keep the girl away from the tree, making a mental note on how she might need to work out a bit more.
***
Part of Allison knew Rowan well enough to know what she’d just done would bother the young woman. Allison had just...lost control for a second. Not in an actual sense, but more so she’d gotten swept up in the power. Knowing you could make someone do whatever you wanted was a very powerful, very alluring drug and despite Allison’s best efforts, she still sometimes ended up sucked in to the worst parts of it.
Before she could respond, Rowan was rushing over to the young woman, attempting to push the onlookers away and keep the girl from licking the tree. Allison frowned and a wave of guilt washed over her. The power of words, specifically her words, was destructive. She could never forget that. For all the good her powers did, they did so much worse.
Taking a deep breath, Allison walked over. She knew what she was about to do would reveal her abilities to Rowan and probably put a wedge between them. However, she had to do it. She had to fix this for Rowan.
She walked over to the girl, taking her firmly by the shoulders and making her look at her. “I heard a rumor you stopped licking the tree and forgot why you did it.
Instantly, the young woman stopped, eyes blank before they focused and Allison’s abilities took hold.
Turning to the group of onlookers, Allison addressed them next. “I heard a rumor you took down any videos of this girl licking a tree, deleted them, and then forgot what you saw here.”
Allison watched the light flash in their eyes as her powers took hold; immediately, they worked their phones, removing the videos...and walked away.
***
Rowan didn’t know what she was going to do to get all of this to return to normal. Magic wasn’t a thing back home so it wasn’t like she knew how to fix this. Could people with magic fix something others did? The thought was in her head as she saw Allison walking over. Her eyes widened and she felt a wide range of emotions flooding through her on seeing what Allison could do. Allison had done this? Rowan knew she had abilities, but she never pushed to know what they were. If Allison wanted to tell her, then she would. Only now she felt like maybe this was on her for not finding out sooner. Or maybe she had known and Allison used them on her? No, Rowan knew that wasn’t fair to jump to that, but after people screwing with her so much back home, it was a gut reaction.
Counting to ten, she bit her tongue and would deal with this all after. Freeing the girl, she didn’t want to have to explain any of this, especially right now when Rowan had no idea what to do about it herself. Rowan still found herself in shock over the ability Allison had, shaking her head as she watched the woman. She understood the reason for it, but that wasn’t the right way to solve the problem! That ability was dangerous and using it like that could cause more problems or at least, that’s how Rowan was seeing it. Once things seemed to be back to normal, Rowan crossed her arms, feeling very much at a loss for words at the moment. Thankful for the video to be gone, but that still didn’t erase everything that had just happened.
Blowing a piece of her dark hair out of her face, she finally spoke, “We need to talk. Away from all this.” Rowan hated the fact that her mind was questioning and going over everything in her head. Deep down she knew Allison was trying to protect her and would never do anything like that to her, another part of her wasn’t fully sure. Once away from everyone, Rowan bit her lip trying to keep herself collected before speaking. “I told you not to do anything! Why did you do that?” Her tone was a little shaky but at least, she wasn’t using her angry tone. Rowan could remember the last time she felt so let down and it was probably why this hurt so much more. It had been the day Rowan’s mom caused everything to come crashing down around Rowan, which then resulted in a lot of the bullying that came her way.
***
Allison could practically feel how angry Rowan was as she stepped back from the bully. Allison should have expected it; it was the same reaction that Patrick had after finding out she’d used her abilities on their daughter. Back then, she’d thought it was the only way to control her daughter, but how wrong she was. It had only led to their divorce and Patrick gaining sole custody of Claire. Again, her powers had ruined it for her. She tried to do something right and blew up in her face.
Allison followed Rowan and once they were safe enough away, as expected, Rowan started in on Allison. Could she blame her? No, no she couldn’t at all. She’d interfered when Rowan specifically told her not to and, as she probably could have predicted, it turned out badly. It was too late now. Rowan knew what her powers were and it was not the way Allison wanted her to find out.
“I wanted to help,” Allison replied, lamely. “That’s all. I wanted her to learn a lesson about what it’s like to be humiliated.
Obviously, it hadn’t gone exactly how she planned.
“I wanted to protect you. I know you’re not my daughter, but I feel like we are family and I just-I just wanted to help you.”
***
Rowan refused to let the anger she was feeling take over, especially after everything Allison had done for her. Yes, she knew the woman was worried about her. Yes, she was upset and angry with how she dealt with the whole thing. Still, Rowan knew her heart was in the right place even if Allison had gone about things in all the wrong ways.
“I know you wanted to help, but I didn’t need it,” she claimed, shaking her head as she took a calming breath to cool herself down. “You really think that will teach her or anyone anything? First off, did you know some bullies act like that because of their own issues? Because I do from my own experience with a few back home. Second, do you know the impact that type of humiliation could have on someone?” Rowan fired back at her, knowing first hand what both of those looked like from people back home. It was why she tended to leave things away or handle it differently, knowing the impact it can have.
Rowan shut her eyes for a moment, feeling torn on her feelings for the moment. “We’re family and I consider you a very important person but I didn’t need that type of help. I’m tired of everyone thinking they need to protect me,” she admitted. “I’ve been protecting myself and my friends back home, I have my fair share of issues, I know this, but I’m not about to change my way of handling things because it isn’t how most people do it.” She knew she never talked about back home, and she wouldn’t right now since this wasn’t the place, but she wasn’t going to have people thinking she couldn’t handle things.
This was her choice on how she ignored the bullying and let it happen, knowing sometimes it was easier. Didn’t stop her from trying to handle the situation in a whole different manner, fearing falling back on old habits, which would result in a bad situation like back home.
***
Allison’s powers were the equivalent of being your own genie. She could have anything she wanted in the world; all she had to do was say four little words and everything changed in an instant. Circumstances like this were exactly why she’d stopped using her powers all together. She’d lost her daughter because of them. It was only after being trapped in the past that she started to use them again. She’d hoped for a better outcome this time around, but so far, it didn’t seem to be working so well.
“I do know. I’ve used my powers in the past to teach worse people harsher lessons,” Allison replied softly. “It doesn’t make it right. I thought a taste of her own medicine might make her less inclined to take her issues out on someone else next time. However, it wasn’t the right thing to do. I’m sorry.”
Rowan’s words reminded Allison of her brother, Five. He was always trying to do things on his own in order to protect all of them. In the end, they always worked better together than they ever did apart.
“You sound like Five. He’s always trying to handle things himself too. In the end, he usually ends up needing us anyway, but he just wants to protect us. He lost us once and he doesn’t want that to happen again. I’m not going to promise I won’t protect you because I can’t. It’s what I was raised to do, but even if I wasn’t? I’d still do it.”
Allison sighed softly. “I won’t step in again unless you ask for my help though. At least, in these kinds of situations. I just hope you can realize you don’t always have to do it alone. You can talk to me about it. If some end-of-the-world shit happens, all bets are off though.”
***
Rowan knew some people would probably love to have someone in their life who could do something like this. Maybe she was weird, but this wasn’t what she wanted or needed. Even more so when Rowan knew first hand the impact all of this could have on someone. There was also the fact that Allison didn’t know how Rowan deserved this. Maybe it starting up here was karma for everything back home. The bullying back home was deserved even if people disagreed with her on that, but she saw it differently.
“And what happened when you used them before?” Rowan had a feeling she didn’t want to know the answer, but it was too late to take it back now. “She’s probably got stuff going on back home and lashing out. Is it right? No, but coming back at her isn’t going to help anyone. Instead, it could make things even more hellish for her and that isn’t right,” she told Allison with a sigh.
Part of her wanted to hug the woman she trusted, but another part of Rowan was still furious at Allison for all of this. Though she was slightly amused at being compared to Five; however, she had to agree just a bit when hearing what Five was usually doing. “There is a difference though. You guys have powers so everything you guys deal with is on a whole different level than me and my friends. I know there is a very high chance back home I won’t live to see college because of what’s going on, but I’m willing to die to protect my friends. I made a promise to both of them on keeping them safe, and I plan to keep it no matter the cost. Here I may not have the worry of death looming over me, but I can take care of myself.” Rowan cursed herself for saying more about home than she normally did, knowing she was normally careful on what she said. Damn emotions keeping her from being careful on what she said! Allison’s comment on how she’d still do it reminded her of both her father and sister. Even with Rowan trying to handle the mess on her own, Brie had kept putting her nose in it right up until she got herself locked up.
“Fine, but if I do ask, it’s without your ability. Anything end of the world like, then fine but nothing in my personal life is allowed to have your ability, alright?” Rowan didn’t want to worry about her using that to fix things as a way to help her. Though Rowan was also treating this like she did her father on how she knew he was around, but she still took on everything herself. She couldn’t help herself! Rowan left what happened the last time she started opening up, and how Clint had been sent back not long after causing her to fear a repeat of that. The less angry side of her wanted to point out something about her ability, but she didn’t want to risk saying the wrong thing when she was not in a good mood.
***
“I lost my daughter. My ex-husband took full custody of her. After that, I swore I would never use my powers again.” Obviously, circumstances had deemed it impossible for Allison to keep that promise. Becoming trapped in the past and having to fight to survive while protecting her family didn’t give her any choice. Here, she had a choice, but once again, she’d made the wrong choice. She’d used her powers and it had backfired.
Allison was startled to hear that Rowan would not live till college back home. Whatever she was dealing with, there were no supernaturals to provide a potential easy solution. Then again, maybe it would only make things more complicated if people like Allison existed in Rowan’s world.
“I understand. That would make anyone have to grow up fast, but you don’t have to face everything alone here. We’re family now.” Allison couldn’t do anything about what Rowan faced at home, but she would do everything possible to help her here. Except use her abilities. Allison wouldn’t use them to manage Rowan’s life here. She wanted to reach out to the young woman, but hesitated given what had just occurred. It was best to give Rowan space and probably time to deal with what she’d just experienced and Allison’s betrayal in a sense.
“I promise. No powers in your personal life,” Allison swore. “Unless you ask. End of the world is fair game.”
***
Rowan hadn’t known any of that and she felt bad for Allison having to deal with that. Probably once she moved past this information on what Allison could do, she’d hug the woman but right now she wasn’t ready for that. It felt like all the work she had been doing to make amends for all the judging and mistakes she made back home just came crashing down around her because Allison had ignored. It didn’t matter how no one would remember, it still happened and Rowan knew it happened. “I’m sorry you lost your daughter. I’m sure that wasn’t easy. Just like I’m sure it isn’t easy to give up your powers but you can’t use them like you just did!” Rowan called her out on that.
What she could do freaked Rowan out a tiny bit, but considering what some other people could do it was easy enough to deal with once she wrapped her head around it. Her issue was on how Allison used them, trying to help when Rowan didn’t want it. Allison didn’t know the real Rowan. The one who was tormented everyday back home for a long list of reasons, and Rowan believed she deserved it.
“I know I don’t have to face everything alone here, but I’m also not going to suck people into my mess. I wouldn’t do that to my father and sister back home with everything, and I’m not doing it here,” Rowan knew it wasn’t the right way to handle things; however, it was how she handled everything. Thinking she could protect everyone and fix things, but she had so many secrets being kept that she felt it was easier than having the people she cared about to look at her differently. Allison fell in that category and didn’t want to lose her like she did most of the people close to her. People had a habit of leaving Rowan, and she didn’t want that with Allison. “You want to help fix my problems, but you ever think I might be the problem?” Rowan challenged her, pushing her dark hair back out of her face. “Was tormented back in my world then ended up here and bullied once again. Notice that I’m the trend in both of those? So maybe I’m the problem you need to fix.” While Rowan knew there was more to the story, knowing people who bullied had more going on, she was also voicing what she kept feeling.
Nodding at the promise, Rowan felt like she had to get out of here. Between seeing what Allison could do and exposing more about herself than she wanted, she wanted space. “I’m holding you to that promise. Right now I need some time to myself to wrap my head around what you just did. I’ll see you at home, okay?” Rowan figured tonight was going to be a hide in her room with ice cream and avoid Allison, but she’d have plenty of time to settle on that game plan.
***
Allison met Rowan’s gaze and shook her head. “You are not a problem, Rowan. If you knew how many messes my family has created, you would see you’re not even close.”
They messed with the timeline; even once they made it back to their time, they had screwed up events. Just thinking about it made Allison’s head hurt and she pushed it aside, forcing herself to focus on the situation at hand. Of course Rowan would need time to digest what she just witnessed, but hopefully, in time, she would come to understand. If not, Allison would forfeit her position as guardian. She didn’t want to make Rowan’s situation more stressful here.
“Okay, I’ll see you at home. Take all the time you need,” Allison replied honestly. “When you’re ready, let me know how you feel.”