Darcy Lewis (tasergoddess) wrote in madisonvalley, @ 2021-05-13 16:06:00 |
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Entry tags: | !closed, !completed gdoc, !log, ~2021 may, ~~steve rogers (_shieldless_), ~~~~ darcy lewis (tasergoddess) |
Who: Darcy Lewis and Steve Rogers
What: An important conversation
Where: Their house
When: Thursday morning
Warnings: some suggestive comments
Status: complete
Now that Darcy had some time to wrap her mind around the concept of marrying Steve Rogers, she knew that they needed to have a serious conversation. She loved him and, after her conversation with Daisy, realized that she should have been expecting this. Sure, she and Haymitch had agreed that it wasn’t something either of them needed, but even then, the Steve that was one of her best friends mentioned it on multiple occasions, so the fact that her boyfriend, who was now living with her, wanted to make it official shouldn’t really be a surprise.
Prior to her trip home, the mere notion would have sent her into a spiral of panic and fear. Now though, she was older and wiser and, well, even though she still felt like it wasn’t something she needed to be happy, she could understand that it likely was important to Steve.
She arranged for someone to keep Steph for a few hours and made sure that Jason wasn’t going to be home so they could have some privacy for their conversation. “Hey,” she said, carrying two cups of coffee when she found him on the back deck. “Can we talk?”
***
The concept of getting engaged hadn’t gone over anything like Steve had expected...or hoped for. Was he disappointed? Yes. Was he hurt? Definitely. But, he didn’t blame Darcy. He hadn’t exactly talked about it with her to see how she felt about it. He did just kind of sprung it on her...in public. (But at least it wasn’t at a restaurant with a ring in a glass of champagne.)
Mostly, he was worried about where they would go from here. They did need to talk. Marriage was something that was very important to Steve, especially with living together. If that wasn’t an end goal for both of them, they may need to re-examine their relationship...not something he wanted to do. Meanwhile, he waited for her to be ready to talk.
He tried not to make things weird or awkward until then, but he couldn’t hide that he was worried. To him, that would be dishonest. So, he’d been quiet for the most part. Still gave smiles, hugs and kisses to both his gals, however. This morning was nice out so he was on the deck reading The Silmarilian.
He looked up with a smile when he heard Darcy. “Yeah, of course.”
***
“I’m sorry the last couple of weeks have been kind of awkward,” Darcy said. She knew that was one hundred percent on her and her hesitations and she did genuinely feel bad for leaving him hanging. It was a huge step though and she needed to be certain that she was ready for it.
She sat down, handing him one of the mugs, and then wrapped her hands around hers, taking comfort from the warmth. “You really caught me off guard, though in hindsight, it shouldn’t have. I know that marriage is important to you.”
***
“It’s ok,” he said as he took the coffee. “I’m sorry I put us in that position.” Steve was just glad Stephanie hadn’t picked up on it yet.
“I know. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just hit you with it, let alone at the movies.” He took a sip of the coffee to give himself a moment to get his thoughts together.
“It is important to me. I’m catching up with modern things, but some things I just can’t let go of because they’re things I want.” He offered her a smile. “I know not everyone feels the same way, and I wouldn’t ever push you into something you don’t want.”
***
Darcy nodded. “I know you wouldn’t. And I’m not saying I’m completely against the concept,” she added quickly. “I guess what I really want to know is what would marriage look like for you? How would it change our relationship? What do you expect? That sort of thing.”
There was no way in hell she would ever agree to obey any man, though she honestly couldn’t see Steve expecting that. Still, she did need to know what it meant to him before she could agree to it.
***
That was a question he hadn’t been expecting. Steve blinked for a moment then shrugged a shoulder. “Pretty much what we have now except with rings, to have and hold.” A sheepish little smile came to his face. “And I’d hope you’d be Mrs. Darcy Rogers.” Because taking his name was important, but not a deal breaker.
***
There was a long silence as Darcy waited for him to continue. Until she realized that he wasn’t going to and she gave him a confused look. “So you wouldn’t expect me to stop working? Stay home barefoot and pregnant? None of that old school forties housewife crap?”
Speaking of pregnant, that was something else they should really discuss. As much as Darcy loved her daughter, she really wasn’t keen on having more kids, so if that was important to Steve, they’d need to figure out if they were incompatible on that front.
***
This time he just stared at Darcy before he burst out laughing. “Could I possibly be friends with the women I am and think that way?” He actually had to put his coffee down before he spilled it for laughing so hard.
If he thought that way Nat would kill him slowly while Wanda held her coat. That was one of the things he had never had any problem with: the equality of women. He had always been attracted to strong women. Just look at Peggy.
***
Okay, Darcy hadn’t been expecting laughter as a response, though it made her let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. “Look, I don’t know, Steve,” she said. “I mean, friends is a lot different, you know? That’s why I needed to ask.”
She didn’t want to assume that she knew what he wanted and then turn out to be wrong.
***
“I’m sorry,” he said through a chuckle then reached out to take Darcy’s hand. “I shouldn’t have laughed, but all I could imagine was how long I’d live if I even suggested any of those things to you.” He wasn’t going to bring up Peggy.
“But no.” He gave another snort of amusement. “No barefoot and pregnant. No stay at home wife. I don’t even know if I can be a dad, to be honest. Dr. Erskin made it clear there might be...side effects.”
***
“Okay, fair point,” Darcy said, laughing a little as she leaned over to set her coffee mug down. “Honestly, I don’t really want more kids. I love Stephanie, but she’s enough for me.” And clearly in some future, her daughter considered Steve as a father, so that was good, right?
She squeezed his hand. “So I think we’re on the same page then,” she said. “I’m not in a hurry, but I am open to the idea of marrying you some day.”
***
He was fine with not having kids of his own. There hadn’t been a point in his life when that had ever been an option, and being in Stephanie’s life was more than enough for him.
The squeeze to his hand and what Darcy said put a smile back on Steve’s face. “So long as some day comes with an actual date I think we’re good.” He definitely didn’t believe in prolonged engagements. He saw those as an actual lack of commitment.
***
Darcy grinned at him. “Oh, honey. I expect a full out proposal. I’ll drag Natasha out soon and show her what I like in terms of rings and make sure she has my size, but you better bring it if you expect a yes.”
***
“Oh, I’ll bring it,” he said in that low tone of voice she liked so much. He even threw in a grin that said he was thinking naughty things. “I’ll bring it so well your knees will melt.”
He kept the look on his face as he lifted her hand so he could nibble at her fingertips.
***
“We have the house to ourselves at the moment,” she retorted. “If you want to practice that knee melting.” Darcy certainly had no complaints about their sex life. Since deciding to take the plunge, Steve had proven to be a very fast and adept learner.
***
“Good.” Without warning he stood up as he pulled on her hand so he could put her over his shoulder. “Don’t wiggle or I’ll drop you on your head.” And for good measure he gave her a light swat on the butt as he made for the bedroom.
***