Natasha Romanoff doesn't want to kill you (butwewill) wrote in madisonvalley, @ 2020-07-22 20:54:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | !closed, !completed gdoc, !log, ~2020 july, ~~~ natasha romanoff (butwewill), ~~~john grimm (grimmreaper47) |
Who: Natasha Romanoff + John Grimm
When: Thursday, July 23rd
Where: The clinic
What: Realizations, talks, fluff
Warnings: Mentions of canon-related death, injuries
Status: Completed gdoc
If there was one thing at the top of Natasha's list of things she hated, it was her mind being messed with.
It had been a couple days since she'd woken up in Madison Valley alone and in her own bed, her thoughts a jumble of memories and emotions. She'd done what she could for her friends in the meantime, while ignoring how it had affected her, until at last she couldn't put it off. After a good long run through the woods, she had headed for Combat Therapy to try and work her feelings out that way, only to take it a little too far. While she could have stuck with the on-site medical services, Natasha had opted to go to the clinic instead, actually hoping to check in on Adam and find out how Katie was. While they weren't her real family, she couldn't help but think of that little girl and hope she was doing well.
After being told he wasn't available, Natasha opted to sign in anyway, since her left arm currently hung somewhat useless thanks to her shoulder being dislocated, and her right side had a small gash that was in a spot too awkward to stitch up on her own.
Now, she sat on a bed in one of the examination rooms, waiting patiently for the door to open.
--
The last few days had been a challenge; not because things in town were hard by any means, but because John Grimm still struggled to piece together his real life and memories, from the ones he had gained during that strange event. Oh the man knew that things in town could get strange, but he hadn’t ever expected to find himself being someone else. Not just on the surface, but to have had the memories of a life he never lived. Parents that were still alive and well, a childhood without a twin sister, even a life where he wasn’t a soldier or freak. All those memories hadn’t seemed fake at all. If anything he had truly been John Grimm...a mild mannered federal agent and accountant.
When it all came to an end, and life returned to ‘normal’, those memories and experiences still lingered on. Oh Grimm doubted he could take a run at reviewing a stack of tax reports any more, yet he still remembered how much joy he had felt when solving a little puzzle or finding an error. Hell, even now it wasn’t hard to admit that he could go for a glass of unsweet iced tea, despite never having touched the stuff before the event had happened.
Still John did his best to put it all behind him. To focus on the present, on his real life. Which is why Reaper was back working at the Clinic once more. Routine helped, and working here was part of his. When the nurse handed him the chart of the next patient waiting, he had barely started to look over it as he stepped into the private exam room. Eyes fixed to the clipboard, Reaper spoke up as he stepped in and closed the door behind him. “Good afternoon. So what seems to be the trouble today?” As his gaze drifted up towards his patient time itself seemed to stand still. That clipboard slipping from his fingers and falling to the floor, as he just stood there stunned.
“Red…”
--
Hearing the clipboard clatter on the floor, Natasha’s head turned swiftly, and then she froze when she saw who stood there. For a moment, there was a ringing in her ears and she felt annoyingly unsteady, her right hand reaching down to grip the edge of the bed she sat on. Stupid, she berated herself. She should’ve done more research, and she should’ve known where he worked so the avoidance could continue, but she’d gotten sloppy.
The shock in her eyes faded fast, shuttered behind a wall she’d built several decades ago, and she let her face become blank, forcing her hand to relax and breathing to steady while she met his gaze. It took Natasha a moment longer to speak, before she finally replied.
“You’re a doctor?”
--
It took him a moment to even feel his heart beating once more, yet when her expression went blank John realized what she was doing and suddenly followed suit. Burying all the feelings and thoughts down, focusing on the task at hand, like he had done countless times before while deployed. After taking a breath all his own Grimm’s expression of surprise gave way to a neutral mask, and when she posed the question he leaned down to pick up the clipboard before offering a response.
“Staff Sergeant John Grimm, call sign Reaper. I was with the UAC Space Marine Corp, Rapid Response Tactical Squad. Retired now. But I was the combat medic for my squad, and so when I got here...well I figured lending a hand at the Clinic was the best way to try helping out. And to try being a civilian.”
Despite the inner turmoil that washed through him like waves, that tone of John’s betrayed no emotion at all. After looking over her chart for a moment Reaper looked her over at last. Ignoring Nat’s eyes and mouth, but focusing on her arm and that side of hers too. A small device was pulled from his pocket; a simple bit of future tech he had brought along with his gear, and with the touch of a button John did a quick scan. “It doesn’t look too bad. I can take care of that arm, and get you patched up and out of here in no time.”
After pocketing the hand held scanner he finally looked the redhead in the eye at last. “Guessing the shoulder is the more troubling injury at the moment, so we’ll start there.”
--
It was a very detailed answer to her very simple question, but any amusement she may have felt at that was hidden. Instead, she only arched a brow, saving her questions for another time. The fact that he was military wasn’t surprising here, but it was a little at odds with the “g-man” in her memories, who she knew so well and now wished she didn’t.
Natasha was silent as he pulled out a device, stiffening very slightly until she was certain it wasn’t a weapon - all an instinctual response. When he seemed to finish examining her with it, she met his eyes without flinching, as her good hand rose to tuck a few strands of red and blonde hair behind one ear.
“I would’ve popped it back in myself, but didn’t feel like listening to lectures when a couple of my friends hear about it,” she said with a hint of dryness. She was more than willing to pretend that none of that other life had happened if he was. “I couldn’t really take care of the cut without it being fixed, though. Too awkward of an angle.”
--
Just hearing that she would’ve tried popping it back in on her own had a slight, but genuine, smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Natasha was so different, and yet not. And just thinking about it threatened to open up a whole new can of worms. However, her need for medical attention was all that mattered in this moment, so with a nod Grimm held out the clipboard to her. Only to drop it once more, just out of her reach.
Before the metal clipboard could even hit the ground though he was already there; now standing beside her despite never seeming to have moved at all, and using a touch of his inhuman strength mixed with a light tight to pop that shoulder back into the socket before she could register what had really happened. Before the clipboard even clattered on the floor once again.
Oh Reaper wasn’t trying to show off, or even impress her either. If anything he tended to avoid using his abilities in town. But when it came to an injury like a dislocated shoulder, well getting it over with quickly, before the patient had time to even tense up, was far safer since it avoided the risk of any muscle damage. “There we go. How’s that feel now? You’ll want to ice the shoulder for a bit, but it will be good as new in no time. Provided you use the sling I’ll get you, and avoid any strenuous use of that arm for a few days.”
--
While Natasha was fully human, she’d also been enhanced many years ago, and still he moved just a touch faster than she expected. Her good hand had already started to half reach out for the clipboard when suddenly his hands were on her arm and shoulder and there was a sharp pain that left her gasping, fighting against the urge to cry out. As the clipboard hit the floor, her hand wrapped around one of his wrists instead as she met his eyes, taking a moment to catch her breath so that she could work up a response as sensation returned to her arm and the pain - though still present - faded to a dull throb.
“Better,” she admitted, and after a moment she loosened her grip on his wrist and let go, while trying to ignore the other feelings that his touch was stirring up. “I’ll do my best to follow the doctor’s orders.” Now the faint amusement was more evident, as she relaxed somewhat. A doctor-patient relationship was easier to deal with right now. “But I can’t make any promises.”
--
The feel of her warm soft skin beneath his touch hadn’t been lost on him at all; his pulse quickened and John’s body stirred a little as he remembered having held her in his arms just a few days ago. But with a shake of his head Grimm cleared the distractions, turning his full attention to what she said and stepping away when Natasha let go of his wrist. “Good.” That faint smile still lingered, though he avoided making eye contact again. Especially since he could feel how flush his face had grown when those memories had flashed in his mind for a second.
After picking up the clipboard again Reaper moved over to the counter and set it down. Then headed to the sink to scrub up and slip on gloves too. When that was done the man grabbed a seat on the stool with wheels beside the exam table, and wheeled over to her side. This time gently reaching out to raise the hem of her tank top, until it was lifted just above the fresh knife wound. “Hold that up like that, please.”
With both hands free he leaned in to eye the cut; frowning ever so slightly to himself. “It’s not deep but we’ll need to clean and disinfect it before I can stitch you up. There’s some clothing fibers in the wound that need to be removed first.” The last thing she’d need is to get an infection after being stitched up. So with a nod to himself Reaper looked to the tray sitting beside the exam table. The one with the implements left for him by the nurse. With an almost impossibly steady hand and inhuman grace John used the surgical forceps to remove every last bit of fabric from the cut. Not even bothering with the magnifying glasses since his eyes could easily pick out the tiny pieces with ease.
When it was done at last he set the tool aside and reached for the gauze and iodine to begin disinfecting the area next. “Was the knife clean, or is a round of tetanus shots in order, Red?”
--
She caught the flush, but opted to pretend she hadn’t, instead falling quiet as he drew away and got his instruments for the next task. At the request, her right hand held the material in place, far enough out of the way that he could work unhindered instead of simply just above the cut. It may have bared more skin than she really wanted to at the moment, but it was necessary - and he’d seen far more before.
With only the faintest hiss when pulled the first of the fibers out of the wound, Natasha remained solidly in place without flinching as he worked. This pain was nothing compared to what she’d suffered in the past, and it was better to not move and risk him doing some other kind of damage.
“It was clean,” she said with a flash of a small smile. “And if it hadn’t been, I usually burn through infections quickly, so it wouldn’t really be that much of an issue.” But she was glad not to have to worry about that. As she studied his face and hands while he worked, she decided to go ahead and ask a question since it wasn’t as though she had much else to do at the moment.
“Did you fall into civilian life here out of necessity or desire?”
--
Grimm worked quickly but skillfully; cleaning and disinfecting the cut, and finally turning his attention to suturing the cut up at last. With the tissue forceps and threaded needle he settled in to stitching her up. Working to ensure the job was done and done to perfection, to minimize the odds of the scar being bad. Hearing that the knife was clean drew a nod, and even as his fingers moved with real agility, John quietly spoke up at last. “That’s good to hear. All in all, this doesn’t look too bad. We’ll still have you on antibiotics for a week, and give you the stuff needed to clean the wound while it heals.”
With care and precision Reaper worked to stitch up her side, twenty two stitches in total, which was thankfully simpler given that the laceration itself was shallow and straight. When she asked about civilian life he paused for just a moment. Not turning his gaze away from his work at all. “A bit of both I suppose. Right before I got here I had just been deployed on a mission where things went pear shaped. Lost my whole squad, and...and things weren’t looking good. So being here was a chance to take a step back after having served for my entire adult life. Though it wasn’t easy figuring out how to actually go about living without the routine and regiment that I had gotten used to.”
John went quiet again as he finished up his work; and when Natasha’s side was bandaged up at last he gently helped pull her shirt back down, before wheeling back over to the sink where he stripped off his gloves and washed up again. “Think that will do it. The nurse will get you the prescriptions and schedule a checkup visit when it’s time to pull the stitches. Beyond that, I’ll grab you the sling, and you’ll be able to make your statement to the police when they arrive. Now in the meantime, do you have any uh...any questions, Red?”
--
She’d heard enough lectures from SHIELD medics that Natasha knew better than to turn down antibiotics, and she found herself thinking that his hand was steadier than most physicians she’d seen in the past. Normally, she wasn’t a fan of doctors or needing to be treated, but he put her at ease.
Of course, that could be in part because she had distinct memories of seeing him fall apart thanks to her - and of herself doing a little of the same.
“I’m sorry about your squad, John,” she said quietly as he finished up - it was the first time she’d spoken his name aloud since her arrival, and she was careful not to put too many other confusing emotions into it. When he tugged her shirt back down carefully, Natasha lowered her arm again and arched a brow at his words.
“It was an accident in training, and doesn’t require a talk with the police.” Not that she’d tell them anything that could help them with an investigation into something like this. If it hadn’t been a training accident, the other person would likely be in the hospital and wouldn’t need to be arrested or charged either. She did have questions, but not about taking care of her wounds, so instead Natasha met his gaze squarely.
“No. Do you?” It was only fair to give him the chance to ask something in return, considering he’d told her more than he needed to.
--
Just hearing his name fall from her lips had John’s heart racing, and he finally found himself gazing up at her at last. There in his eyes so many different emotions played out all at once, yet none of them were anger. Sadness. Desire. Confusion...Love. Those were all there to be sure. But for the life of him Grimm had no clue what to say or do. Had no idea how a person was supposed to handle something like this. Sure, give the man a living nightmare filled base overrun with alien-demon like creatures all trying to kill him...and he could deal.
But this; finding himself so close to the woman he was going to marry. The woman he had loved, and was so eager to spend the rest of his life with...then have it all taken away. Not by her, not by his own actions either. But by an apparently magic dome that liked to fuck with them for sport...and the former Space Marine had no idea what to do at all. He wanted to run. To run, or to scream. Or to kiss her and never let go.
When she spoke again, about training and not needing to report it, Grimm chuckled warmly and shook his head before smiling back at her. “Hey you know the rules, Red. Better than most given that you’ve been working for the police department for a long while now. Hospitals and Clinics have to report all gunshot and knife wounds. That’s just standard. But they’ll just take your statement, and since it was training related that’s all that will really happen.”
When she met his gaze, and said ‘no’, a hint of frown returned once more. And her question in return had him actually scratching his head before softly speaking up at last. “Yeah...I’ve got thousands, Red. But...but I…” Once more that uncertainty filled his eyes, and for a moment he just held her gaze. Not moving closer. Not pulling away. Just sitting there on the stool and wondering if asking questions would make things easier or just so much harder for her...or for them both. In the end, he sighed to himself before finally finding his words once more. “Are you happy and...and loved, Red? In this...in this life. I just want to know that you’re happy.” Even if it wasn’t with him, it didn’t matter.
--
Natasha had looked into the eyes of thousands over the years, and she’d seen similar emotions in them. It had often been her job to cause them to happen, the same way it had been back in that world that had brought her and John together, and wasn’t real - and yet. It was hard to say such things weren’t real when she saw so much in his gaze, and was fighting not to show the same in her own.
The chuckle broke the reverie for the moment, and her lips curved in response. “Rules can change in thirty years, but fine. I guess I can spare them an hour or so.” Not that she really wanted, but she’d manage. The smile faded slowly as his own mirth disappeared and she watched him try to decide what to ask. Inadvertently, she tensed, waiting to see what he’d ask - and out of all the things she imagined he’d say, somehow John still managed to surprise her.
The lie that she was fell onto her lips and Natasha nearly let it spill, but stopped at the last moment. Her eyes met his for almost a full minute, before finally she tore her gaze away. “I’m alive, and I’m with friends. That’s more than a lot of people get.” The kind of happiness he wished for her wasn’t the same thing as what she had here, in Madison Valley, particularly when she knew very well that every moment she spent here, it was nothing more than borrowed time.
“How about you?” She asked almost too quickly, not wanting to dwell on herself, but needing to know about him instead. There was the faintest hope, a dash of wistfulness, but she pushed it aside to wait for his answer. It was better to know what would or wouldn’t be possible before letting herself imagine.
--
It wasn’t the first time that someone came into the Clinic, needing to be patched up after a bit of training. Nor would it be the last. Not when a lot of those that were pulled into the town came from...well not strictly ‘dangerous’ backgrounds exactly, but quite a few were ex soldiers, heroes, ninjas or a ton of other possible such things. So really, while Grimm was all for waiving the rules, the cops that came to the Clinic already tended to just take a brief statement and leave it at that. “I doubt it will take even ten minutes, Red. But thanks for sticking to the rules.”
A lie would have been easier. Simpler. With a lie things could’ve been pushed down and ignored. Not completely. Not really well either...but instead of a lie she had offered the truth. And when Natasha turned the question right back to Grimm a part of the man just wanted to lie. Or to point out that she had already declined the chance to ask questions. But instead of doing either Reaper just found himself frowning as a look of utter exhaustion was seen across his face. “Seven months, six days. That’s how long my longest relationship...my only relationship...lasted. She’s one of the most amazing women I’ve ever known, and I can honestly say that I loved her too. Which wasn’t something I...love wasn’t in the cards for me, Red. I was supposed to die in battle, not settle down and find myself in a relationship.”
John’s softly spoken voice went silent for a moment as he paused to rest his head in his hands. “I’ve never been great with people. Give me a mission, and I’d accomplish it no matter the personal cost. But when it came to getting close...to letting others in, I just was clueless. But then I met her, and she helped me figure it out.” With a deep breath Grimm raised his head at last; that gaze of his fixed to her own, and Natasha could see that sorrow and pain that he had been trying to hide. “Then that week happened, and there I was looking at the woman I had fallen for...telling her that I had fallen in love with someone else. That I had proposed...and that you had said yes...and that it was the happiest moment of my life.”
--
Natasha had never officially been military herself, but she was familiar with the life. It wasn’t that different from her own - there wasn’t room for a lot of things, most notably love or any kind of closeness. It had taken her a long time to let anyone in - first Clint, then Fury and Coulson to an extent, and finally the Avengers. Through all of that, her own ill-fated attempts at anything close to what Clint and Laura had had ultimately fallen flat, and she’d grown accustomed to it.
Then she’d died, only to wake up here.
As he started to go into this other woman and how she helped him, Natasha was on the verge of telling him that he should leave now, right this moment, and go to her. But then his eyes caught hers as he went on and the words died in her throat. She realized at the same time that he was referring to the other relationship in the past tense - which made the truth of her double life all the worse.
“John, the woman that you knew there, that Natasha...she wasn’t who you think she was. It - it was a lie. You need to know that before you say anything else.” And yet, she had fallen for him there, and truly had been on the verge of walking away from everything for him. “She was a spy, John. One of the ones you were looking for. You were an assignment.” But her eyes said he’d been so much more, and this time? She couldn’t hide that from him. Her voice broke for just a moment as she went on, because what did those secrets do anyone good now?
“She was going to leave that night. You…he was about to discover the truth, and she wanted to protect her family. Those other women were her real sisters, and also spies, and one of them had a daughter. If she had stayed, she’d have been killed - if not by the FBI, then by the KGB for being caught. They would have all been killed.”
--
It was such a strange sensation; like a numbness washing over his entire body, even as that dull pain behind his eye just seemed to get worse and worse with every passing second. Oh Reaper knew rage. Knew what it felt like, and had delved deep into its embrace before. Yet this...whatever this feeling was, it was new. There was no snarl, nor sneer. No clenched fist or hurled venomous words at all. Hell, whatever this feeling might have been, it wasn’t even aimed at Natasha in any way...but at the Dome itself for fucking with all of their lives on a regular, and yet still somehow constantly monumental level.
A lie, within a lie. That’s exactly what he had fallen for. Fallen in love with. His alternate 80’s ‘self’ had fallen madly in love with a lie woven by a spy...whom he had been tasked to find to begin with. Now that, that level of sheer poetic license just sent Grimm tipping right over the edge. And after sitting stone still in absolute silence for what felt like eternity, John finally started to laugh aloud. Not a harsh sound, nor even one that had any cruelness or malice within the warm tone at all. But an honest belly laugh that just echoed out across the room, even as tears slowly formed in his eyes and spilled down his cheeks.
All of it was beyond funny, and when Reaper finally managed to catch his breath and regain his composure, the former soldier just sighed to himself as he wiped the tears from his face. “Right then. Well...I appreciate the honesty, Red. I imagine you already had a good laugh about it with your friends, or sisters. Can’t blame you for that at all. Just thinking about how completely lost I was as an agent in the field...trying to use math and endless piles of paper to solve a case that I had no right even being near…” There was no anger or rage. No disgust or anything of the like aimed her way. If anything the man was just beyond tired, and at a loss for what to say. He had been in love with her, and all the while she had been with him as a job...a boring job at that, since Grimm could see how dull all those endless hours of his other self talking about tax forms and god knows what could be. “Anyway...I’ll get you that sling, and get out of your hair.”
--
Out of all the reactions Natasha might have expected, laughter was quite possibly the last, and she just stared at him as he let it out. She could only imagine the things going through his mind now, and her own feelings were just as muddled right now - but if there was one thing she was certain of, it was that she didn’t want him to walk out of that room. Not with things left like this.
“I haven’t laughed about it with anyone,” she said quietly. “I haven’t talked about it to anyone since waking up here. I was trying to forget, to let it go, because none of it was real...except for what I’m feeling now.” Her good hand gestured to the shoulder, and she gave a rueful shake of her head. “This? Was because I wasn’t paying attention, too caught up in my own emotions while pushing things to a higher level than I should have while I’m this...distracted.” Lifting her head, she glanced at the door for a moment, then back to him.
“You are not an FBI agent, or a tax accountant. I am not a police dispatcher, or a current KGB agent.” She was a former one, but that part could wait. “But what I’m feeling is real, and...I don’t want you out of my hair, John Grimm.” Moving to her feet, she closed the short distance between them. “I don’t know if the feelings will last because I don’t know what might happen. But I would like to know who you are here, and if...you don’t want to do the same, then I’ll leave now and make sure we don’t cross paths again.”
--
Run. That’s what he wanted to do. To run and get as far away from himself as he could. Yet as she spoke, and drew closer John couldn’t move at all. Couldn’t even stand up from the stool. No. This was a lie. Not her words, but the feelings. All of it one fucking joke played on them by the dome. The same one that toyed with them in so many other ways; making children appear in their lives, giving them just enough time to connect and love those children of their own...only to have to snatched away again. That had been cruel, and beyond cold. Having come to accept that he had two little beautiful children, and then to wake and find them gone.
Reaper tried to tell himself that this was the same damn thing all over again. That his feelings..that their feelings for one another was just a cosmic joke all at their expense. But still, even after her confession, and finding himself so emotionally worn out, Grimm couldn’t bring himself to get up and leave. Not when a single thought kept coming back. Kept scratching away at his memories in the back of his head.
“One question, Red, and I need an honest answer. That last night together at our place...why did you ask me to go with you to Morocco that night?” That’s the one piece to it all he couldn’t figure out. Oh he got that she had been a spy; and that her mission had been to get close and keep tabs. But on that final night together, she had asked him to go away with her...and it didn’t make any sense. Not if she was really trying to flee from him as she had claimed.
--
Her eyes were on his face, trying to read it and learn how his mind worked, watching the way emotions flitted across and disappeared again. His face was both familiar and strange to her, and yet she couldn’t make herself walk away until she knew what he wanted.
That question should have surprised her, but it didn’t. Letting out a quiet sigh, she gave him a very faint smile. “Because I...I loved you too. I was willing in that moment to run away from all of it with you. From my country, my family - to a place where no one knew us or could find us. Where we could be together safely, and be happy.” Her shoulders lifted, then fell in an almost hopeless fashion - and she winced slightly at the movement as a result. “It was a wild thought, a desire that I wanted to give into...even when I knew it wasn’t ultimately possible.” Her right hand reached out, then very slowly touched his cheek as she gazed down at him. “I’m sorry it didn’t happen.”
--
There was no sudden look of shock. No gasp of surprise either. If anything he wore that neutral expressionless mask as Natasha softly spoke those words. Even his eyes were not betraying what rolled on within his mind and heart when she moved closer and so gently touched his cheek. All the while, deep inside, those thoughts and feelings swirled and churned away. Memories crashing against the harsh light of truth. Doubts and anger bubbling up, only to be swept back under by guilt and self loathing.
In the end though John’s hands slowly reached out as well, coming to rest so gently on Natasha’s hips as he pulled her down onto his lap, and with a soft sigh that mask faded away. There was still exhaustion etched across his face, but there in his eyes was a joy, desire, and a faint glimmer or sadness too. Instead of saying a word he simply leaned close until his lips pressed against her own in a soft be passion filled kiss. Deepinging slowly even as he remained careful not to hurt her further.
When their lips parted at last Grimm let his forehead rest against her own; eyelids drifting open slowly to gaze at her once more. “I’d have been furious at you, Red. When you told me the truth...but I still would’ve gone with you. Even if it cost me everything...I would’ve gone with you.”
--
She wouldn’t have blamed him if he’d pulled back or pushed her away and left the room. It would have been entirely understandable. But that didn’t mean she didn’t feel a sharp pang of relief when he reached out to her and drew her down. It was a strange sensation to be there again, because it felt so familiar - the way she fit against him, their bodies naturally adjusting to one another - but it felt good, too.
Her hand stayed on his cheek as his wall crumbled, but she remained silent as he leaned in, ultimately tipping her chin up a little to catch his lips for the kiss, even though this was probably the strangest first kiss two people had ever shared. After it ended, Natasha absently licked her bottom lip, then opened her eyes as he spoke.
“I wanted to,” she said simply. But it wouldn’t have been possible at the time. She wouldn’t have risked losing Alex’s daughter. Relaxing against him, Natasha studied his face again.
“Who is she?”
--
With a soft warm smile he nodded anew; knowing that Natasha meant what she said, and knowing that the whole alternate lives thing was both beyond strange, but also now a part of them too. Woven lies, false histories and things that never were...yet at the core were emotions that were far more honest. He didn’t know this woman, but he loved her. That should’ve freaked the hell out of John, but nothing about the town made much sense to begin with. So walking away from this...despite the countless reasons why it was all so very very screwed up, just wasn’t an option.
The question of ‘she’ had sorrow growing in Grimm’s eyes, but after a moment he managed to quietly speak up once more. “The Doc. She was one of the first folks I ever met when I arrived here; she helped me adjust to life in this town, and to being a civilian. Helped me when I was at my darkest, and struggling with all that had happened to me before washing up on the shores of this place…but more than that, she showed me that I still possessed my humanity, even after I had thought it lost forever.”
--
There was no judgement in her eyes as he spoke of “the Doc” and Natasha only made a mental note to look into it further another time. What was important now was that he’d gotten the help that he needed, and she gave a nod as he talked. “She sounds like an incredible person,” she said softly. “Maybe I can meet her someday.” For a normal person, meeting someone’s ex might be awkward - but Natasha was far from normal.
“I have someone like that. He’s not here, but...his name is Clint Barton. We’re not a couple - he’s married with three children - but he’s my person,” Natasha told him. "He's family. So are his wife and kids." After all, if he was going to find out who she was, Clint was a very important part of that. He was in her heart, even if it wasn’t the same way as John was starting to be, despite the fact that she barely knew the man whose arms she was currently in.
--
Everything was still so raw and fresh, yet John nodded his head quickly. Both in response to Natasha's remark about the Doc being incredible, and to her desire to meet the other woman as well. “I ended things with her the morning after we all returned here, so it might...it might be best to give the Doc a little space and a chance to process it all for a bit.” Hurting the Doctor was the last thing in the world he ever wished to do, and even after having parted it still hurt to think of the fact that they weren’t together.
Hearing that she was close to another drew his gaze, yet there was no sign of jealousy at all. If anything Grimm was glad to know she had someone she was close with and could count as family. “Well I...I am sorry that he’s not here, Red. I’d have liked to meet anyone you shared a connection like that with.”
--
“I understand.” A part of Natasha wished he hadn’t, if only so that the other woman hadn’t been hurt, but she knew that ultimately she couldn’t be responsible for what John had done. It had all happened because of the dome’s machinations, and she hoped that things went well for the Doctor from here on out.
She gave him a faint smile at the easy acceptance of Clint in her life. “I am too. I have other friends who I am almost as close with here. People who have known me for years.” Her lips twisted in amusement for a second. “Including Wanda, who isn’t really my sister by blood, but essentially is now. And she’s not as cold as she was in that other life. Alex….I don’t really know her here, but she’s offered to let me get to know her. And Katie isn’t my niece.” It seemed important that he knew these small things as well, before she got to all the rest of the big pieces of information, like the fact that she was dead in her world.
--
It was all an emotional minefield at the moment, and one that John was trying hard to walk through presently because he had no desire to hurt anyone at all. Well with the glaring exception being whoever was behind the dome itself. That was partly why Grimm had tried his best to give the Doc and pretty much everyone else in town space; sticking to his apartment, the lake, or work, he hadn’t interacted with anyone since things came to a crashing end a few days ago.
Coming across Natasha here hadn’t been a possibility he even considered. Yet now that she was here...Reaper found himself still feeling a bit of a wreck, but there was no denying how good it was to have her so close once more. Just hearing about her ‘family’ drew his attention. After all his other self had known her sisters and niece, but to learn that none of them were in fact related drew a soft chuckle. “Well since we are being honest about things, I am not a fan of math. Nor had I ever actually tried iced tea either until I was...well until I was not myself.” That smile of his, while slight, was genuine. And after trying to think what all to share he shrugged slightly before speaking up again. “I’m familiar with Wanda; I was friend’s with her husband John while he was here. But beyond that...I really don’t have many others in my life at the moment. For the most part I’ve stuck to my own company, or the few I was close to have been sent home.”
--
“Scrambled eggs are pretty much the only thing I know how to cook, but I do enjoy hot showers and will take a tropical beach over the alps any day,” she replied dryly. Even though she had been a decent cook in that other life, Nat didn’t really trust that her skills were up to par and preferred to drop in on Wanda for food, or just get take-out. She practically lived on Thai food, sometimes. When he mentioned he was familiar with Wanda, she gave a small nod. “I never got the chance to meet him, but I saw pictures when I stayed with her after I first arrived. I’ve only been in Madison Valley since May 31st,” Natasha told him. It was a big difference compared to the months of memories she shared with him.
She lifted her head to glance at the clock then, before looking back at him. “You do realize you’ve been in here a little longer than it should take considering the injuries I came in with, right? Your nurse might be coming in soon.” As much as she didn’t really want to leave, they weren’t exactly in the position to have a longer conversation right now.
--
It should’ve been strange to sit there, swapping truths in the exam room, while she was still on his lap. Yet John found himself opening up and that smile of his grew. Hearing that she wasn’t much of a cook was surprising, but when Nat mentioned still being a fan of hot showers his mind drifted to the memory of their last shared showe and Grimm bit his lower lip to stifle the soft moan. After regaining his composure though he tried to chuckle, and chime in again. “Well...showers are good. I uh, well I can grill. I fish for fun. And most of my time is spent jogging or training in the forest to keep my skills sharp.”
Honestly it was a tad sad, even to his own ears, to hear that most of his time was spent doing so little. But really Grimm had just been focused on finding some measure to routine that he could fall into when he first arrived. Some way to settle into life here in town after having spent years on active duty. “Oh...and I’m not technically human any more, thanks to being injected with a synthetic alien DNA compound by my twin sister, who used it to save my life while I was dying on the Mars base that had been overrun by twisted demonic alien hybrids. So there’s that too…” The way he said it so dryly and almost nonchalantly was of note, but really Reaper figured it was the sort of thing best offered up front...since it was a bit of a bombshell. “So yeah, I’ve got that goin for me...but I also am a fan of old movies too, so there’s that as well.”
The mention of the time drew his own gaze to the wall clock, and with a little nod he helped her stand at last. “It’s a small clinic, and slow most days since we tend to deal with just walk-ins. So I’m not concerned about the nurse just letting herself in. But you’re right about how long it’s been. I uh, I’ll go grab that sling for your arm, and we will get you on your way, since I’m sure you’ve got things to do beyond sitting around here.”
--
“Have you ever tried tai chi?” She asked curiously, not blinking at all at the fact that he grilled, fished, or spent a lot of time jogging and training. It was clear from what brought her in that she did at least one of those things, so they had that in common at least. When he went on to talk about how he wasn’t human, Natasha just stared at him, taking it all in as casually as he offered up the information.
“I have friends who are aliens and who volunteered for experiments that resulted in extra abilities, and one who experimented on himself, so that isn’t all that strange to me,” she told him matter-of-factly, then smiled. “Plus I got emails from a racoon for five years. So there’s that.” When he shifted to help her stand, she opted to let him instead of getting to her feet wholly on her own, if only because she liked feeling his hands on her still.
“Do you want to have dinner later? Or just...talk?” She asked suddenly as she eased back onto the bed, her dark green eyes staring at him. “When is your shift over?”
--
With a little shake of his head Grimm flashed her a soft smile. “No. But to be fair I normally just stick with a single cup of black coffee. Maybe two if it’s been a long day.” Okay, so maybe he had no clue what tai chi was, but it sounded like one of those fancy whipped cream drinks they served at the coffee shop. Really the man wasn’t one to possess many vices, not after years of living a structured and heavily regimented life in the Marine barracks. The occasional beer while fishing was about the extent of his drinking habits. Well that and his morning coffee after his run.
Just hearing that she had friends who weren’t human set him at ease, though that brow of John’s arched a little at the mention of the racoon that emailed her. “Were the emails related to trash cans or recycling?” Oh he had no real interest in her not being so close, yet he was still a combat medic, and she was still injured. So seeing to her medical needs far outweighed his desire. The question of getting dinner or just talking gave Reaper pause, but after a moment he nodded again. “I’m off at six...and it would be nice to grab some dinner with you, Red.”
--
His reply earned him a surprised chuckle, and she realized that some of the things she’d found adorable about him in that other life were still an integral part of his personality - a realization that comforted her, actually. “Tai chi is a form of Chinese martial arts, used for defense, healing, and to calm the mind and center oneself. Maybe I’ll teach you sometime,” she offered. “And I love coffee very much, the more exotic the better.” Though she’d often had to go with bad, black coffee as well more than once over the years.
“Neither, but I can see why you’d think that. Rocket is running around this town somewhere, but don’t ever call him a racoon to his face. And don’t leave any guns attended that you don’t want him to have for his own.” She’d learned that one the hard way.
“I’ll be here at six, then, and we’ll figure things out from there. And I promise to ice my shoulder, Doctor Grimm,” Natasha added with a smile.
--
The sound of her laugh caused John’s smile to grow instantly, though when she told him what Tai chi was a dark blush swept across the man’s face too. “Ah...well...there you go then. That does sound like an interesting form of martial arts. Just sadly not one they included in the UAC Space Marine training.” Her offer to maybe teach him some day caused Grimm to go still; those eyes of his lingering on her at the implication of their being another day for them in the future.
With as crazy as all this was; lives not their own, memories of alternate versions of themselves...falling in love with a stranger. He found himself happy at the thought of their being more days shared. “Coffee is good. Tend to stick with a simple cup of unsweet black coffee myself. Just got used to it being served at the mess hall. But they do have some fancy exotic ones at the coffee shop in town.”
“Right, don’t mention to the racoon that he’s a racoon. And keep him away from my weapons. Copy that.” There was no chuckle this time around, since he took her at her word. After all the town was strange, and if she said a talking racoon was wandering around then Reaper believed her. “Six it is. And yes, ice it but don’t forget to take the prescribed meds daily, and to set a follow up visit so we can pull the stitches and give you a checkup.”
--
“I know a lot of things that may not have been included in your training,” she said slyly, though her words were actually fairly serious. Her training had been extremely thorough, and she’d learned even more since defecting and breaking free of the Red Room. Natasha was finding the thought of spending more time with him highly intriguing, and she was glad he wanted the same.
His coffee preference was committed to memory easily, and she nodded at the mention of other shops with exotic blends. She’d found many of them already. When he repeated what she’d said about Rocket, Natasha found herself appreciating the fact that she didn’t really need to explain. He was obviously well-used to odd things like that, which would make telling him about her past a little easier.
“Yes, sir,” she quipped at the order to take her medication and set up the appointments, and Natasha gave him a small smile as she watched him pick up the clipboard and leave the room once again. Once he was gone, she let out a slow breath and shook her head. This was not how she’d thought her day was going to go, but….it was a nice surprise.