Two days into this whole guardian thingy and I've already got a dad bod.
Plus side is I've got this whole dad joke thing down. "I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!" "A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean."
Meh, my suit won't zip. Why won't my suit zip? Someone get me some control top pantyhose, stat.