ellid (ellid) wrote in lupin_snape, @ 2010-01-20 07:54:00 |
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Entry tags: | fic: r, prompt: fantasy fest 08 |
Fic Post: The Black Robe of Flanders, Part Four
Title: The Black Robe of Flanders, Part Four
Rating: R or thereabouts
Summary: Severus must find and disarm a legendary horcrux, with Remus as his assistant. They didn’t count on the complications.
Warnings: snarking, kabouters, smoking of tobacco and other substances, references to legal drug use, possible pre-slash, bad food.
Note: this is for the Fantasy Fest prompt "kabouters." I have made the kabouters somewhat larger than they really should be, and have likely offended many people from Fryslan, Sneek, The Amicitia Hotel, and the Low Countries in general. I can only plead ignorance and throw myself on the mercy of King Kyrie.
Also, this is only partially DH-compatible, as Snape, Lupin, and Tonks all survived.
Previous sections can be found here, here, and here.
They worked until lunch, when Griet, muttering ominously about them ruining their eyes if they read too long, stupid English wizards, brought them a hot lunch of traditional Dutch specialties, plus locally brewed beer. It was delicious, and after they'd eaten, drunk, and complimented Griet on her cooking, she allowed them a second two hour session with the archives.
They had been at work for one hour and thirty-two minutes by the clock on the mantel when Remus found the clue.
"Severus?"
"Mmph?" Severus barely reacted. The room was warm, and he had rolled up his sleeves enough to expose sinewy forearms.
"Here." Remus shoved a letter at him. He murmured a stabilization charm as the translation spell made the letters flicker. "The pastor of St. Martin's, the Grootekerk - "
"I've heard of it." Severus narrowed his eyes as he read. "I had no idea they had a costume collection."
"Not costumes per se, but close enough. Old vestments, altar cloths, kneelers - in other words, cloth." Remus tried not to react as their fingers brushed against each other. "Remember The Purloined Letter? The best place to hide something valuable is among like objects."
Severus nodded, very slowly. "Yes. That would make sense. Grindelwald's thugs were largely atheists or 'German pagans.' The last place they would look for a magical artifact would be a church." He paused.
"Good work, Lupin."
"Don’t thank me yet. The pastor is almost certainly a Muggle. We can't just march up and ask to see his vestments without a cover story." Remus murmured a charm that copied the translated letter. "At least we have this. It might be enough to get us inside."
An uneven series of raps sounded at the door. Bram, listing slightly to starboard, entered, a tray with two glasses of something presumably alcoholic floating beside him. "Hi hi, English wizards! Put the books away and have a drink! Tante Griet says you must taste our beer, you will never touch English swill again, but she does not mean insult."
Severus stared at the beer as if it were a misbrewed potion. "This is - "
"An unexpected treat." Remus kicked him under the table before he could dismiss Bram and his tray, and cautiously took a sip. "Severus? This is marvelous. Light and crisp and - "
"Wheat beer," murmured Severus. He carefully took a sip, raised the glass to examine the pale, bubbling liquid, then nodded and took another sip. "Very good. Please thank your aunt on our behalf."
"She brews it herself without my help. She fears I will drop paddos into the mash, but why spoil one good thing with another? Beer is beer." Bram produced a mug of his own, drank deeply, and sighed. "Almost as good as paddos. I will sleep now."
He hopped onto the table, rolled his cap into an impromptu pillow, and began to arrange himself into a comfortable position. "Go back to your hotel and sleep, English wizards! You have worked long enough!"
Severus thinned his lips. "If you must fall asleep, kindly do it somewhere besides our work area. Either that or make yourself useful."
Bram opened one eye. "Useful? I could be useful."
Severus loomed over him, black hair falling forward over his shoulders until it nearly touched the kabouter. Remus had to kick his instep to prevent himself from reaching over to tuck that lovely, inky mass behind Severus' ear.
"I very much doubt - "
"Do you know anyone at the Grootekerk?" Remus interjected. "The Robe - the Zwarte Mantel - may be there."
"Hansy the watchman? Of course I know him!" Bram contrived to look indignant while lying down. "He shops for paddos at Blue Heaven!"
According to the information package provided by the Ministerie, the Groote Kerk was a typical Low Countries church: simple brick exterior, simple whitewashed walls inside. Reportedly there was a fine organ, not that it was visible at midnight in the churchyard.
Remus watched as Bram, cheerful but sober thanks to his aunt confiscating his stash for the evening, trotted up to the front door. He knocked on a kabouter-sized entrance and leaned casually against a reproduction 20th century gargoyle that seemed to commemorate something vaguely connected with World War II.
Another kabouter, this one dark-haired and slightly older than Bram, opened the door. He did a double take, then broke into a huge grin as Bram handed him a Muggle-style bag of dried herbs. He opened the bag, sniffed, then nodded and gestured at the human-sized door.
"I think we just saw a drug buy," Remus said in a low voice.
"Does that disturb your delicate lycanthropic morals?" Severus waited for Bram to beckon to them before rising and starting for the entrance.
"No, but if they light up I may sneeze. I never could stand the smell."
The second kabouter looked them up and down, then gestured at the door. It obediently swung open. He pointed at the clock tower and held up a single finger: one hour. Severus nodded in thanks and stepped into the echoing dark of the church.
The organ, huge and dark, took up most of the wall behind the altar. The floor creaked slightly as the humans followed the kabouters toward the choir. The second kabouter stopped and spoke to Bram in an unintelligible stream of Dutch (or possibly Friesian).
"He says the funny clothes are here, in this closet." Bram pointed down what might have been a short hallway. "If the Zwarte Mantel is here, it will be there." He started to giggle.
"Here, there, here, there, everywhere - "
The second kabouter joined in the chant although it was doubtful he spoke any English. Severus muttered something about needing a stiff drink as he took a step forward. Remus murmured lumos and waited for his eyes to adjust before following. They were close enough that he could smell whatever Severus used for cologne, and he had to repress a sudden urge to lean forward and nibble one pale ear.
The "closet" proved to be the Groote Kerk's sacristy. It was dark, dusty, and crammed with vestments ranging from the simple to the garishly Victorian. Remus cast a Bubble Head charm on himself before his allergies kicked in, and held up his wand so Severus could see what he was doing.
"Let's see…chasuble, Victorian. Chasuble, Victorian. Chasuble, modern and in terrible taste. Cope, Victorian and in even worse taste - "
"Severus? Dutch pastors don't use vestments like these. Where did they come from?"
"I've no idea and less interest, Lupin. We're here for a - aha! There it is!" Severus pointed his wand at a garment bag on a padded hanger. "Can't you feel it? The dark magic?"
"The whole collection feels dark to me." Remus forced back a sneeze. "No one's touched them in years. I wonder if the Muggles sensed the horcrux?"
"Quite possibly, dark magic can feel off to - "
"Hey, English wizards! Hide quick! The Muggles are coming!"
Severus whirled to face the doorway, mouth open to protest. Bram jumped up onto the nearest piece of furniture, squeaked out something in Friesian (presumably), and gestured wildly at a narrow doorway.
"Into the closet, English wizards! Both of you! Hansy and I will do the guards! Quick quick! Go!"
Something slammed into Remus at knee height, and before he could react he found himself wedged into a small, dark space that reeked of mothballs and old wool. Severus slammed into the wall next to him with a surprised grunt, and the door shut itself the second he had finished checking his nose for breaks.
"Do the guards?" Remus bit his lip to hold back the giggle. "I don't - "
"Be quiet, Lupin." Severus glared at him. Their faces were inches apart. "This is not the time for lewdness."
Remus leaned forward and breathed deep of the other man's warm, soft hair, so natural and so much better than naphthalene. "You know what your problem is, Severus? You never make time for lewdness. Never once."
"Lupin, the Muggles - "
"Sod the Muggles," whispered Remus, and kissed him.
Severus froze, mouth clamped shut. Remus shifted slightly, wrapped his arms about Severus, and gently drew his tongue across the other man's lips. A shiver rippled through Severus, and without a word he was kissing back, clutching at Remus and making the tiniest of whimpers as the kiss deepened. Neither man noticed the footsteps outside the closet, the conversation from the watchmen a few inches from their hiding place, the squeaks from Hansy and Bram, the footsteps retreating again -
"Lupin." Severus finally came up for air. "What are you doing?"
"What I've wanted to do ever since we started looking for that damned robe," murmured Remus. He traced the sharp curve of a cheekbone. "You're the most annoying man I've ever met, and I can't stop thinking about you. I don't - "
"English wizards! Hurry hurry! The Muggles are checking the basement!" Both men jumped as the door burst open to reveal Bram and Hansy, one gesturing madly, one jumping up and down. "You can have sex later!"
"We were not - "
"Severus, they're right. We haven't much time." Remus straightened his robes. He was so hard it was difficult to walk, but what choice did he have? "Here, it's this one!"
"Good." Severus adjusted himself and hobbled over to the rack of clothing. He pulled a copy of the Black Robe out of his belt pouch, unshrank it, and stuck it on a hanger. Remus cast a protective charm on his hands and stuffed the Robe itself into a bag. It was a loose dalmatic of thick black silk woven with alchemical symbols, and weighed much more than one would have thought. The glittering jewels sewn about the neckline and wrists clacked together as the bag closed and shrank itself. "Do you have it?"
"Yes, I - "
"Hurry hurry! The Muggles - "
Severus grabbed Remus by the wrist, yanked him close, and drew his wand. "Disapparato!"
The vestments on the rack swayed gently in the displaced air as they vanished.