Omni (omni_sama) wrote in lupin_snape, @ 2009-09-16 01:33:00 |
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Current mood: | amused |
Entry tags: | fic: nc17, prompt: crack |
Crack!fic: Remus' Preferred Vintage (NC-17)
Title: Remus' Preferred Vintage
Author: Omni (aka: rip_von_christ)
Rating: NC-17 (In other words: not work safe)
Warnings: Um... See above?
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, just the situations in which I am placing them.
Summary: Severus' holiday in France is disrupted by a malfunctioning loo, which results in him having to double-up with another occupant at the hotel. And oh, what a small world it is.
Notes: Taken from prompts tossed my way in chat by lore, Diz, and azurerosa. ;)
“You have got to be joking.” Severus stood there glaring into the hotel room while a very nervous concierge apologized profusely in French.
Remus leaned against the doorframe from the inside looking out, an amused smile lighting up his scarred face. “Fancy seeing you here, Severus! When they told me I’d have to double-up because someone’s loo was on the fritz, I’d never imagine it’d be you, of all people.”
Severus gripped the handle of his suitcase so hard that there was bound to be a permanent mark in his palm. “How,” he said slowly, through grit teeth, “in the nine levels of Hell…could you afford a holiday in France?”
“Ah.” At this, Remus grinned, and pulled a card from his pocket. “I’m the secretary of the EAS.”
“The what?” Taking the card, Severus stared at its printed font in incomprehension. “The bloody hell is… ‘European Aged Sages?’”
“Wine connoisseur guild.”
Black eyes met Remus’ hazel eyes in skeptical disbelief. “You? A wine connoisseur?”
“Why is that so hard to believe?”
Waving away the still-apologizing concierge, Severus pushed past Remus and into the small room. “Just didn’t think you’d really ever be able to afford wine, let alone know a damn thing about it.” There was only one bed. Of course. Because God quite obviously hated Severus Snape, and took great delight in reminding him on a regular basis.
Remus closed the door and leaned his back against it, seemingly unfazed by Severus’ constant jabs at his poverty. “I have a very sensitive palate, it seems. Plus, the guild supplies the wine whenever we have a tasting.”
“A sensitive palate? And I suppose this has something to do with you being a werewolf, hm?” Biting back a sigh, Severus set his suitcase next to the bed. Only a double. Glancing about, he wondered if there would be room for a cot. He didn’t trust himse—ah—didn’t trust the other man in such a small bed. Didn’t trust him not to keep Severus awake with tossing and turning and such, of course. That was all. Naturally. A chill suddenly ran along his spine, as his hair was carefully brushed over his shoulder, exposing the back of his neck.
“Perhaps,” murmured Remus, his breath warm and tingling on Severus’ exposed skin. “I mean, I’ve always had a very acute sense of smell, and taste is primarily smell. For instance…” There was the long, soft whisper of Remus inhaling through his nose. “I’ve always believed you must taste divine.” Before Severus could react, he was shocked immobile by the feel of Remus’ tongue trailing languidly along his neck. Lips were then pressed to his flesh, and he felt the vibration of Remus’ pleased hum. “I was right.”
“What do you think you’re doing?” Severus eventually managed to ground out, though he did not step away.
“Sampling the vintage.”
“Vintage?”
“Yes. Surly Potions Master, is what I believe this particular sample is called.” There was another long whiff, Remus’ nose brushing against Severus’ hair. “Heady bouquet. Interesting blend of herbs. I do believe I smell a bit of…” Another inhalation. “Orange?”
“Yuzu.”
“Ah. Well, it was a citrus, at least. Let’s see…what else…?” The press of Remus’ body against Severus’ own was likely unnecessary, but still Severus did not move. “Definitely smell some sandalwood, perhaps hint of juniper.”
“I did brew a potion with both earlier, yes.” It was actually quite astounding how accurate Remus’ sense of smell seemed to be. Curiosity was the only reason Severus was allowing this—whatever it was—to continue. At least, that’s what he told himself.
Remus’ chuckle rumbled through Severus from where they were pressed together, and he felt his eyes drift closed.
“Another scent. New. Fresh. Musky.” Hands came to Severus’ hips and slowly slid around towards the front. “I must say, this vintage has a very nice body to it.”
“And you have the worst pick-up lines in the history of mankind.”
“Yet they still seem to be working, don’t they?” There was another rumbling chuckle, and the hands took to caressing up and down along Severus’ thighs, moving ever inward. “I’m actually rather surprised that you haven’t hexed my bits off, though.”
“The night is still young, Lupin. Don’t push your luck.”
“Oh, but I want to push.” Fingers danced over the rapidly-growing bulge at the front of Severus’ trousers, making his breath catch in his throat and Remus practically purr. “So far I’d say my luck’s holding out rather nicely.”
“So far.”
Teeth started to nibble at Severus’ neck, and he thought perhaps something had gone wrong with his knees. To compensate for the malfunction, he leaned back against Remus and allowed the werewolf to bear the brunt of his weight. Only fair, since it was Remus’ fault.
“I wasn’t aware that wine tasting involved teeth.”
“Oh,” said Remus, lips brushing along Severus’ skin with each word, “it involves the entire mouth. If you’d like to assist me in making such a tasting easier to accomplish, perhaps you’d care to turn around?”
“I suppose I could. For the sake of culture, of course.”
“Of course.”
Severus turned in Remus’ arms, but had difficulty in looking the werewolf in the eye. His attention immediately snapped there, however, when Remus dropped to his knees in a sudden fluid motion. Dazed, Severus watched as Remus made quick work of the fly on his black muggle trousers and carefully pulled them down along with the simple white briefs beneath. He could suddenly feel the rapid rotation of the earth beneath him, and he gripped Remus’ hair with his fingers in order to anchor himself. Then his prick was disappearing between Remus’ wet lips, and this had to be just another of his fantasies. Those foolish, unwelcome visions that would pop into his head whenever the man was present or mentioned or even if something reminded him the slightest of those apologetic smiles and mischievous hazel eyes.
Only Remus’ continued wine commentary let him know it was real. Nothing in even his most ridiculous of fantasies was ever that horrendously cheesy. “Oh, yes,” Remus was saying, between long, deep sucks, “this is certainly a good vintage. So smooth. So perfect.” His hands were at Severus’ hips again, directing him to thrust shallowly. “Need to taste more.”
If that’s what Remus wanted, Severus was obliged to give it to him. Fingers pressing firmly at Remus’ scalp, Severus began to thrust into that willing mouth. The connoisseur moaned with such heartfelt appreciation that Severus almost started to fancy himself an actual sample of wine. A very fine sample, at that. Oh, God…the best. Yes, he was the best sample of wine Remus ever tasted. None better. He’d make sure of that.
At some point, his knees started to malfunction again. Sensing the problem, Remus pulled away just long enough to get Severus to sit on the edge of the bed before resuming his taste test. Severus had seen wine tastings before. He’d watched as the experts swished the wine around, carefully considering all the subtle flavors. Remus was indeed taking his time, running his tongue tirelessly along Severus’ length even as his head moved up and down along the shaft. Was this what wine felt like, inside the mouth of one of those experts? Did they, too, curl their tongues around it and caress the sample with such sensual delight?
When he came, he thought he might have cursed, but he couldn’t be certain. Could have been “Jesus,” or could have been “Remus”…or an interesting combination of the two.
Breathing deeply, he watched through heavy-lidded eyes as Remus swallowed every drop with appreciative moans. That wasn’t right. Wine tasters always spat the wine out, he knew. When he said as much to Remus, the wolf simply smiled and slowly opened his green-gold eyes. “That would be a waste,” he said. “Such a fine, rare vintage… I could never be so disrespectful.”
Then he was crawling up along Severus’ body, forcing the darker man to fall back onto the bed. “What type am I? Merlot? Cabernet?”
Remus chuckled again, his eyes glittering with amusement and something else. Something that had Severus’ lap tingling in sudden, renewed excitement. “Perhaps a pinot noir. Though I daresay you’re your own category. Nothing else can compare.”
“I bet you say that to all the samples.”
“My dear Severus, you are the only sample I’m interested in taking home.”
“Oh, indeed?”
“Indeed.” Leaning down, Remus licked at Severus’ chin and then stole a kiss, slipping his tongue between lips parted from shallow panting. Severus tasted himself in the kiss, and released an involuntary groan of arousal. It was then that he noticed that his arms had somehow found their way around Remus’ torso.
“You’re overdressed,” he informed the werewolf once their lips had parted.
“We both are,” Remus agreed. Laughter laced his words, and he moved to nuzzle at Severus’ ear. Severus could feel the other man’s erection pressing against his thigh, and it made another eager jolt shoot through his nerves. “Can I tell you a secret, Severus?”
“I don’t see why not. It appears we’ve suddenly crossed several lines and bypassed several relationship phases, so I suppose we are at the point where we can freely share secrets.”
Lips and teeth played with Severus’ ear for a moment, causing the pleasant sensations in his nerves to increase and his spent cock to twitch with interest. “I knew you were staying in this hotel,” he confessed.
“I hardly see how that’s a se—”
“And I paid the bellhop to flush a towel down your toilet,” Remus whispered.
Any other time, under any other circumstances, Severus knew he’d be furious. As it was, however, he didn’t really mind all that much.
“Hn. Point him out to me later, and I’ll be sure to tip him extra.”
_______
Fin!