Darkside Challenge Ficlet - Better Than Nothing (NC-17)
Author: xxlareinaxx Title: Better Than Nothing Pairing(s): Severus Snape/Remus Lupin and also - * There is a heavy overtone of Remus/Sirius, though Remus is not actually having sex with Sirius. * Word Count: 500 Rating: NC-17 Content/Warnings : Angst, Sexual Situations, "Dark" Themes. Specifically - * Snape angst, unhealthy relationships, self-loathing, general feelings of hopelessness * Darkside Prompt (From The Random Generator): Submission Notes: Hi :) This is my first post here. Despite the tone of this fic, Severus/Remus IS my OTP.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and related characters are the properties of JK Rowling. This fanfiction is for entertainment only.
Even while on his knees in the library of Grimmauld Place with Remus Lupin’s considerable cock filling his mouth, Severus Snape knew he wasn’t the one Lupin really wanted there. He was just a compliant body, a substitute. He knew that Lupin was imagining Sirius Black before him sucking him off instead. He wanted to stop this insane routine that had developed over the last two months; he wanted to scream at Lupin to just go and fuck Black since that was clearly what he wanted and to leave him alone. The words just wouldn’t come out no matter how much he desperately wanted them to. All it took was for Lupin to look at him like that during an Order meeting and get him up against a wall with their bodies pressed together and Severus would give in.
Severus didn’t know which was worse - the way Lupin had somehow managed to get that far under his skin and totally compromise his usually sound logic, or that when they were like this, he could hardly be arsed to care. It was only afterward that everything else would start to matter. In a few minutes he knew the disgust and loathing would hit, but for right now…
“Fuck,“ Lupin groaned and started to thrust his hips as Severus continued to lick and suck. Severus took in a little more of his cock into his mouth with each thrust, and knew it wouldn’t be long before Lupin came.
One of Lupin’s hands slid gently into his hair, and for a millisecond Severus managed to convince himself that it was him Lupin truly wanted . Lupin gasped harshly then shuddered , gripping at Severus’ shoulder to steady himself as Severus swallowed the salty release of his climax.
As much as he might hate to admit it, Lupin really was beautiful this way, Severus thought.
After a few seconds, Lupin let go of Severus’ shoulder. Severus stood up and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand while Lupin pulled up his pants and trousers. Their eyes met, and Lupin looked as guilty and awkward as he always did. He said nothing as he picked up his wand from the table and undid the locking charm on the door.
Like clockwork, the familiar mix of disgust and self-loathing now rushed through Severus as he watched Lupin. I can’t do this anymore, he started to say, only to find he was silent as Lupin spoke a few meaningless words about going to breakfast with Black and then left the library. Severus couldn’t even be jealous, because there was no competition.
Merlin, how he hated this.
He hated not being able to say no.
He hated how easy it was to give in.
He hated knowing how little all of this meant to Lupin.
He hated being second choice to the god - dammed mutt.
He could still feel the heat of Lupin’s touch.
Even being his second choice was better than nothing at all.