Omni (omni_sama) wrote in lupin_snape, @ 2009-02-23 13:00:00 |
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Current mood: | hungry |
Fic: Maska Komodias (overall rating NC-17; part 3/?)
Title: Maska Komodias
Chapter: 3: Decoys
Author: Omni (aka: rip_von_christ)
Rating: Overall= NC-17; current chapter= R
Pairing: Lupin/Snape
Warnings: Language, sexual situation
Dislcaimer: I claim no rights to the characters, just the situations in which I'm placing them.
Summary: After the events of OotP and before HBP. Lupin is about to head out on a mission for which he is ill equipped. Severus, it seems, is the only one who can assist him. The last thing Severus needs at the moment is one more task to weigh him down, when he's already trying to cope with all that Albus is asking of him.
Note: I am aware that canonically people sort of experience the memories during Legilimency as a third person, exterior to the one who's memory they are invading. But this never actually made sense to me, since our memories are always first person, our POV. So, I have deviated from canon (gasp), and made it so that the experience is first person.
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Previous chapters:
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Next Chapter:
Chapter 4
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“You’re Remus Lupin, aren’t you?” The Death Eater peered at him from beneath his hooded cloak, face hidden in shadow. “Why are you here? Gone feral, have we?”
Lupin smiled placidly, but his eyes showed bitterness. “No where else for me to go, after…” He paused, his smile faltering for a moment and his eyes flashing anger and pain before returning to their bitter resignation. “After it was revealed that I’m a werewolf.” That was not what he had been about to say, and the Death Eater knew it.
“Some of the wolves have been acting up, recently. Back-talking. Questioning orders. This wouldn’t have anything to do with you, would it? Didn’t you used to fight for Dumbledore?” The Death Eater’s voice was suspicion-laden and menacing, but Lupin seemed unaffected.
“I suppose ‘used to’ is the operative phrase there. He did nothing to help me at that time. Besides, the wizarding world isn’t where I belong. I realize that now. As for those who seem to be acting up…well, I’m not sure what could be causing them to do so. Perhaps they are genuinely dissatisfied with how things are going.” Lupin shrugged, his eyes shining mischievously. “Maybe the Dark Lord should be more considerate towards the needs of his followers.”
For a long moment, the Death Eater was silent, a tension hanging in the air between them. “You dare talk ill of the Dark Lord?”
As a sigh escaped him, Lupin’s face relaxed from his usual smile, showing how tired and resigned he truly was. “No,” he said softly, “that’s not what I intended.”
“Oh? Then what are your intentions?”
“I just want to find a place where I belong. I imagine that’s why the other werewolves are here, too. It isn’t my fault if the Dark Lord is not meeting the needs of the wolves.” He shook his head and looked blankly towards the floor between them.
“And just what do you suggest the Dark Lord do to remedy this…dissatisfaction?”
For a second, Lupin’s lips twitched as if he were about to attempt a smile, but the action was aborted as a frown took shape. “Treating us with a little more respect would be a good start. We aren’t animals.”
The Death Eater scoffed. “Yes, you are. You’re nothing but filthy beasts, the lot of you.”
In a flash, Lupin had the Death Eater pinned against the nearest wall, and was snarling in his face. “Then why should we fight for you? Why should we help you out, if you’ll be no different than the others?!” Lupin shook the Death Eater, causing the hood to fall back and reveal the man. Inky black hair spilled over Lupin’s fingers where he clutched at the Death Eater’s robes.
Severus smirked. “Very good. You’re doing much better. But you might not want to attack the Death Eater.”
Releasing one final snarl, Lupin stopped gripping Severus’ robes but remained standing in Severus’ personal space. “I will if he talks like you. Do they really treat the werewolves so horribly?”
“Some do.” The smirk faded and Severus tilted his head slightly to the side. “Plan on keeping me here all night? Might make it a bit difficult to continue our lessons if you have me pinned against the wall.”
Lupin blushed scarlet and stepped back, Severus watching him with confused, curious eyes. “Ah. Right. Sorry.”
“You were in character, so it’s quite alright,” Severus assured, absently straightening his robes as he walked out towards the center of the room. When he turned to face Lupin again, the werewolf’s face was still ruddy. Not even attempting to understand the wolf, Severus dismissed his odd behavior. “I liked what you did just then,” he said, hoping to get back on topic. For some reason, this only managed to make the red intensify.
“Ah—pardon?” Lupin’s eyes had gone almost perfectly round, which would have been comical if it weren’t so annoyingly unnecessary.
“With the smiles,” explained Severus. “Since you know that you rather fail at delivering a convincing smile, you used it to your advantage. Considering your personality, it all seemed quite natural to have your eyes and smile contradict each other. Very effective.”
A real smile came to Lupin’s face, and his blushing went down to a warm glow. “Thank you.”
They had been practicing for two weeks, though Severus’ obligations had prevented it from being daily. While at first he’d been convinced that the werewolf was a lost cause, Severus was delightedly surprised to find himself proven wrong. In fact, Lupin was doing so well with the acting that Severus thought perhaps it was time to start working on his Occlumency.
“Is there someone you love, Lupin?”
The dark red blush was back, and Severus sighed. Really now! It was hardly the time to behave like some prepubescent teenager.
“I’m sorry, what?” Lupin managed to ask, his voice surprisingly weak for someone who had just growled ferociously seconds earlier.
“Someone you love. If you love or care for anyone in any great capacity, then it is imperative that it be amongst the top priorities of your Occlumency training to learn to hide it. Otherwise, if any enemy of yours obtains the information, it can be used to hurt or control you.”
Lupin relaxed a little at Severus’ explanation, but the blush had not been fully banished from his cheeks. “I see. So how do you propose I go about protecting such information? Is that to be my first lesson in Occlumency?”
“It’s as good a place to start as any,” Severus replied with a shrug as he went about moving two chairs so that they faced each other. “Please, have a seat. This may take a while.”
Once they were seated, Lupin took to picking at the frayed edges of a patch on his robes. Strumming his fingers on the arm of the chair, Severus waited for the werewolf to look up so they may start the lesson. Lupin shifted in his seat, Severus stared, the clock on the wall ticked. Finally, Severus cleared his throat, effectively drawing Lupin’s eyes up from his threadbare robes. “I’m going to use Legilimency on you. While I am doing so, I don’t want you to do what you did during the initial assessment testing. In other words: do not attempt to block me. Instead, I want you to mislead me. Draw me to parts of your memories that are safe, that give me the wrong impression. Understand?”
Honey dark eyes glanced away and Lupin fidgeted a little more before taking a deep breath and collecting himself. With a rigidly determined posture, the werewolf gave a firm nod. “Yes. I see why you wanted me to practice that particular acting method, now.” The posture softened marginally, and a small, true smile danced briefly across Lupin’s face. “Brilliant, Severus.”
No time to preen, Severus told himself, there was far too much to be done. Plunging onward, Severus locked eyes with Lupin and delved into his mind. He saw the halls of Hogwarts, instantly recognizing the students milling about as being from his own school days. There was a flash of black hair turning a corner, a spike of excitement leaking from Lupin’s emotions to Severus. Before he could step forward to pursue the cause of such excitement, however, Severus found the world whirling and a different memory forming.
Gray eyes stared into his, and he was shown a side of Sirius Black he had never seen—nor ever cared to see. Black was still young in this memory, and the Gryffindor dorm surrounded him. Them, not him. Seeing through Lupin’s eyes, Severus felt as though he were there sitting on the bed beside his long-time rival. There were faint, fluttery feelings—nervousness, anxiousness, desire, fear. Voice pitched low and soothing, Black leaned in close, and Severus quickly pulled out of this memory, in search of another. He pressed deeper, harder, wanting to test this for validity. Yes, he had always suspected that Lupin and Black had…that they were…but he wanted to be absolutely certain. Besides, if Lupin was doing as he was told, then he was intentionally misleading Severus, which meant that there was a hidden truth somewhere.
More gray eyes and sharp, cocky smiles. Severus pressed more firmly, trying to sift through the memories himself, trying to find the truth.
There! Something buried, tucked away, but still accessible.
The new memory filled his mind, and he was sprawled out on a bed, alone. When he looked down at himself, he saw Lupin’s scarred yet youthful body. He was afforded some privacy due to the deep red curtains that were draped around the bed. Still in school, then, Severus determined. But what did this have to do with—oh. Lupin’s hand traveled down his body, which Severus just realized was nude except for the plain white boxers. He—no, young Lupin—started breathing heavily, body writhing as his hand explored every contour and slipped down below the elastic band. A name was whispered, but Severus couldn’t fully catch it. It sounded like Black’s, however, and so he had no idea why Lupin felt he needed to hide this particular memory. Though he supposed it was simply because the werewolf did not wish to share such an intimate moment, especially with the likes of Severus Snape. He knew he should probably withdraw and seek out more memories, but he found himself lingering for reasons he did not wish to examine.
It was Lupin who tossed him out.
He was forcibly thrown from that memory into one of Lupin and Black, after Black’s escape from Azkaban. They were at Grimmald Place, sharing tea, and Black was manically happy. Seeing the world through Lupin’s eyes, Severus could not see how the werewolf was reacting, but he heard Lupin respond placidly to all of Black’s giddy ranting. This was dull, Severus decided, and thoroughly unconvincing. There was nothing in this scene which would make anyone think that Lupin loved Black. It lacked what the other memories had, and was flat and lifeless. Even the shadowy feelings attached to the memory were uninspired.
Severus forced himself out of this one, struggling against Lupin’s control and pushing aside all the other memories Lupin’s mind tried to feed him. Deeper he delved, trying to see if there was someone he currently loved, and who that someone was. Finally he reached a section that Lupin’s mind certainly did not want him to see. There was a constant mental tug on Severus, trying to force him out, but he was stronger.
“—Always talking about him!” Black was yelling, the mildewed walls of Grimmauld Place his backdrop.
“Sirius, you’re being ridiculous.” Severus in Lupin’s body stepped closer, speaking in Lupin’s voice.
“Am I? So I’m wrong, then? You don’t still hold a candle for him, eh?”
“I never… I don’t know what you’re talking about. Please, just calm down.”
“You honestly think I didn’t know? You’re a horrible liar, Moony, truly you are. I remember how you used to look at him back in school. Nothing has changed, it seems.”
“Sirius—”
“And you still insist on sleeping in a different room! Why? I thought we could pick back up where we left off…”
Severus—Lupin—paused, and there was an overwhelming sense of cold, bitter anger. “Where we left off? You mean with you poisoning our friends against me, telling them I can’t be trusted because I’m a werewolf? Because last I checked, that’s where we left off.”
Black looked gobsmacked and hurt. “Remus… It wasn’t like that… It… I… Remus, I love you, you know that.”
“Funny way of showing it, Sirius.”
The hurt and shock turned into anger, but Black closed his eyes and seemed as though he was trying to control himself. “Is that why you’ve turned to him, then? Because you feel that I’ve betrayed you?”
“I don’t feel that you have.”
Those gray eyes snapped open and locked with Lupin’s, so that Severus felt as though Black was somehow looking through time and space and seeing Snivellus in his lover’s eyes. “I’m not the one fucking around behind my lover’s back.”
“Nor am I. Not that I have a lover to cheat on, mind. But if I did, I’d not be fooling around on him.”
Fascinating. Severus wanted to see more. He delighted in Lupin’s anger that seemed to boarder almost on hatred, knowing that it was directed at Sirius Black. He also wanted to find out who the mystery person was whom Lupin desired. Surely a little more digging would uncover it. He supposed that he should be pleased at how well Lupin had caught on to this tactic of Occlumency, but honestly he felt a little frustrated that his own prowess was falling short.
“What are you searching for, Severus?” Lupin’s voice resonated through his mind, and was similar in tone to how he had just addressed Black.
Feeling almost guilty, Severus withdrew until he was himself again, staring deeply into angry amber eyes. Lupin’s face was a study in masked fury. Every line was hard and tense, and only his eyes looked alive, sparking with emotions he could barely keep contained. “Have fun?” the werewolf asked, his voice just as rich as his eyes.
For some reason, Severus could not look away, though decorum demanded it. “I was not in there to have fun, Lupin. I was in there to test you.”
Lupin’s already tense jaw clenched. “I see. So I’m to expect Death Eaters and possibly even Voldemort to peek into my mind in order to watch me wanking, that it? Or maybe they just want to watch me and my ex-lover fight?”
Severus didn’t even blink. “They might. In order to find out who you care about, they’d examine every hidden memory they could find.”
The anger suddenly started to flicker out and the hard lines eased. “Oh.” Blinking away the last of the tumultuous emotions, Lupin regarded Severus with something dangerously akin to pity. “Has that happened to you?”
“Of course.”
“And you managed to keep them from the truth?”
“Naturally.” Now there was awe in those eyes, which Severus felt was a much better sentiment to have directed his way. He sat up a little straighter in his chair, allowing a slight smirk to curl the corner of his mouth.
Lupin suddenly smiled almost shyly and looked down with a whispery huff of a laugh. “Naturally. I should have known, sorry.” He peeked up at Severus then, his eyes staring through strands of gray-tinged brown. “How did I do? Was I passable?”
The smirk vanished and Severus sank back in his chair as he regarded his student and the session critically. “No,” he finally assessed. “I was able to determine that you were keeping the truth from me, and that Black is not the one whom you love. Good choice for false representation, though. A dead man cannot be captured or killed in order to get to you.”
Nodding a little, Lupin kept his head bowed and let his eyes drop to his lap. “Yes, that was the plan. I figured he’d be a safe decoy to use.” There was another whispery laugh, this one sounding distinctly self-depreciating. “I admit you moved too quickly for me, though. It was hard keeping up in time to distract you from certain memories…”
“It was your first time employing this method, so it is to be expected that you would not yet be at the level of a master.” After a second of mental debating, Severus sighed. “Though to be honest, you actually managed to frustrate me a bit, especially towards the end. I think you’re catching on far quicker than you may think.”
Though Lupin’s face was still hidden mostly beneath his shaggy hair, Severus could see it light up in response to the praise. The werewolf truly did need to work better at keeping his heart off his sleeve. “That’s good to hear,” Lupin said with a smile, though he did not raise his head. “I’ll work hard at it, so that I can be ready to start my mission as soon as possible.”
“I should hope so,” sneered Severus. “I do not plan to have you sharing my quarters once term starts, so I expect you’ll be ready to depart before then.”
Again, Lupin’s face turned red. “Of course.”
Closing his eyes to keep himself from rolling them, Severus released another sigh. “That’ll be all for the night, I think.” He stood and started towards the door without even a glance back at the wolf. “I shall try to return again tomorrow, but no guarantees.”
Lupin scrambled to his feet and followed Severus, touching his shoulder just before the professor could open the door. “Ah, Severus…”
Severus stopped and looked over his shoulder, raising a brow at the contact and delay. “Is there something else, Lupin?”
“Yes. Well, no… Well, I just… You aren’t…mad?”
Blinking, Severus turned around to fully face Lupin. “Whatever for? Like I said, I’d hardly expect you to be perfect at Occlumency so soon into the lessons.”
Severus’ confusion was mirrored in Lupin’s face. “Ah, I mean about…” Realization then slowly melted the confusion away, and Lupin cleared his throat, diverting his gaze. “Never mind. Good-night, Severus.”
With a slow nod of acknowledgement, Severus turned back towards the door and made his exit.
That night he dreamed of silvery scars and panting breath and a whispered name that wasn’t Black’s at all.
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To be continued…