Fic: The Horror of Snape Island
Title: The Horror of Snape Island Rating: NC-17 Summary: Remus writes. Severus critiques. Prompt: see the title. Written for pervy_werewolf's Howl-o-Ween challenge. Happy Howl-o-Ween, everyone! Note: not even slightly DH-compatible, thank God and the angels.
"Ah, e'en now my pen can scarce describe the horror of that night! The shambling wreck that strode toward me, flesh of a tinge not mention by nature, claw-like appendages in place of its hands! My blood grew thick at the eldritch sight, and I - "
"Good God, Lupin. That's dreadful even for you."
Remus shot his lover a nasty look. "It's for the H.P. Lovecraft tribute anthology. I've been offered $5,000 American, which is - "
"Quite a bit of money." Severus appropriated the manuscript and flipped through the pages before Remus could do more than squawk. "Of course the 'shambling wreck' has ichor, not blood, and of course it 'oozes.' And of course there's non-Euclidean architecture, whatever that is - "
"More than three-dimensional. Like the geometry." Remus batted at the manuscript. Severus took a step backward and continued to read.
"Humans can't interbreed with fish - "
"They're aliens, Severus. Horrible, evil aliens."
"That's no excuse." Severus darted backward into the kitchen, only stopping when he ran up against the counter. "You used 'eldritch' at least six times in this tripe, and - "
"Enough!" Remus used his weight to pin Severus into the corner between the stove and the sink. He was shorter than Severus but quite a bit stronger, and it wasn't difficult to pluck the manuscript from one long hand and toss it backwards. "It's dreadful, yes, but it's only a first draft. I have another month before I have to turn it in."
Severus, eyes glittering with amusement, watched as the scribbled pages floated down to carpet the worn linoleum. "Just as well. Your reputation would never survive if that got into print."
"Of course it would," said Remus. He leaned in and took a good, long sniff of Severus' hair. It was cleaner than it had ever been in his Hogwarts days, but it was still lank enough after a day in the lab to smell good and sweaty. "I've written worse. Those Gothic things - "
Severus shuddered the way he always did when Remus played with his hair. "The Saga of the Gaywick Gentlemen was horrid. Just horrid." His breath caught as Remus pressed against him. "I'm amazed anyone ever - bought them."
"They sold well enough to buy this house." It was always lovely to see Severus react to such light teasing. Remus shifted in place until he heard a faint, stifled groan. "Which you don't seem to object to living in, given that we have far more privacy than we ever did at school, or in Grimmauld Place, or my flat in London - "
"You're distracting me from critiquing your execrable prose." Severus worried his lower lip as Remus deliberately reached between them and began to unfasten his trousers. "Perverted wolf."
"Guilty on both counts, m'lord," murmured Remus. He gave Severus' burgeoning erection two good, hard pulls, then dropped to his knees and slowly began licking his way up toward the tip. "You're no better, you know. Living here with me - "
Severus gasped, back arching as his trousers fell to the floor and Remus began working in earnest. "Lupin - you - "
Remus cupped his balls and began to hum around that beautiful, rigid cock. No one else ever saw Severus like this, face flushed, knuckles white as he grabbed at the counter for support, mouth half-open as orgasm neared. He stopped sucking long enough to blow gently across the wet flesh and chuckled as Severus cursed him for a tease, and worse.
"Now, now." He wrapped his hands about Severus' length and squeezed just long enough to hold back the other man's climax. "You loved those Gaywick books. I found you wanking to them."
"That's because you're an excellent pornographer." Severus smacked at a cabinet in frustration. "Damn it, Remus, don't you dare - "
"Tell me I'm a good writer." Another lick, another squeeze, another stream of air across the foreskin. "Tell me, or I'll move in with Harry till I'm done with this."
"You utter - " Severus almost never screamed, but Remus delicately lipping the tip of his cock at the same time he pressed hard behind his balls was enough to make him yell. "Yes, you can write! You're the god of Gothics! The greatest - oh God if you stop I'll turn you green - "
Remus nuzzled his lover's belly, then leaned down and swallowed him whole. Severus clawed at his head, hips working frantically as he fucked Remus' mouth. Remus braced himself against the cabinet where they kept the Christmas baking supplies and began pulling himself as the groans and cries and tastes brought him closer and closer to the brink.
A final howl, long and loud, and Severus was coming. Remus swallowed as much of the bitter spurts as he could. He had to give up when his own climax wet his hand, and he slumped against Severus, face buried against his stomach, as the pleasure slowly faded. "My."
"I'll never ask where you learned to do that." Severus stroked his hair until Remus lifted his head, then muttered abstersi before the spit and semen could dry. "I'm not sure I want to know."
"Maybe I just made it up as I went along." Remus stood, one knee cracking slightly. He drew Severus down into a slightly metallic kiss. "I am the - what did you call me? - the 'god of Gothics,' after all."
Severus rolled his eyes. "You won't let me live that down, will you?"
"Of course not." Remus waved at his manuscript and watched as it bundled itself up and headed for the trash. "Then again, I have the best inspiration of any pornographer alive."
"Silly wolf." Severus smacked him on the arse. He looked indecently pleased with himself. "Now, go write something that's worth $5,000, or however much those Muggles are willing to pay you. Aconite just went up on the commodities market."
"Of course." Remus gave him a final kiss, zipped them both up, and wandered back toward the kitchen table. It had been a near thing, but a blow job was enough to distract -
"Remus?"
He turned, then froze in place at the sight of Severus frowning over the papers. When had the man even cared about separating their trash? "Yes, Severus?"
"Were you really going to call that piece of excrement The Horror of Snape Island?"