aunty_marion (aunty_marion) wrote in lupin_snape, @ 2008-07-24 12:20:00 |
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Current mood: | creative |
Snupin Meetup, Day Two: Telegrams and Consequences
We played several rounds of both these games, organised by skitty_kat.
The rules for Telegrams were: Each player writes a word on a piece of paper, and a prompt on another piece of paper. These were put into two different 'hats', and then we drew one of each at random. We then had to compose a 'telegram' to answer the prompt where each word of the telegram began with the letters, in order, of the word given. So, for example, if the word were WOLF, a 'telegram' might have been "We Only Like Fighting".
Just a few from each one - some were better than others...
Word: TROUSERS. Prompt: Surprise
Take Rubeus Out, Umbridge - Some Editors Require Scoops
To Remus: Our Underwear Surprises Everyone. Regards, Severus
Tickle Remus's Open Uvula, So Everyone Registers Surprise
To Remus: Outing Umbridge Seemed Eminently Reasonable. Severus.
Word: BUCKET. Prompt: Apologising for a breach of etiquette
Bugger Umbridge. Can't Keep Excusing Tactlessness
Blue Unmentionables Cannot Knowingly Excite Testicles
Busily Undoing Corsets Keeps Everything Titivating
Word: PENULTIMATE. Prompt: Quick query
Please Excuse Nudity. Until Lately, Trousers In Malkins Acceptable To Everyone?
Press Entrance Now Until Legs Twitch. Is Masturbation Alright? Ta Ever-so.
Porn Endeavours Need Ultimate Lust. Tell Irma Mad About The Encyclopaedia.
Pervert. Explain Nocturnal Uprising. Legilimency Tells In Memory About Thy Erection!
Purchase Exciting New Underwear, Lupin. Twins In My Apartment Took Everything.
Word: IMMACULATE. Prompt: Problems with Underwear
In Most Marriages, Acceptably Coloured Underwear Leads Always To Ecstasy.
I May Miss A Clean Undergarment. Look Around The Exits.
I'm Missing My Amazing Calvin-Klein Underwear. Let's Allow The Exposure.
Is My Magically Accessorised Corset Under Laced? Ah, 'Tis Elasticated!
It strikes me, looking at the above, that there's an awful lot of underwear.
Consequences - I'm sure you all know this one. Piece of paper, first person writes a name followed by 'met', folds it over, passes it on, and so on, so you end up with "A met B at [place]. A said XXXX, B said YYYY, A gave B ****, B gave A &&&&, and the consequences were that..."
Charlie Weasley met Albus Severus at an 'Age of Sail' Convention. Charlie said: "What is the meaning of life?" Albus said: "It'd be more fun naked." Charlie gave Albus two baby partridges and a partridge in a pear tree; Albus gave Charlie a ring. And the consequences were that they had green underpants and couldn't wash for a week.
Phineas Nigellus Black met Severus Snape in the prefects' bathroom. Phineas said: "Would you like to go camping - for half the damn book?" Severus said: "Bollocks." Phineas gave Severus a prosperous suggestion; Severus gave Phineas a nice sky-blue bonnet with flowers on. And the consequences were that he got pregnant with triplets and then they all died.
Lucius Malfoy met Nagini in Honeydukes' basement. Lucius said: "Do you usually carry that in your trousers?" Nagini said: "Gosh, what an unexpected onion!" He gave her a pint of semi-skimmed milk; she gave him another partridge in another pear tree, and possibly a wolf-cock live sex toy. And there was much rejoicing.
Madame Rosmerta met Professor Flitwick at Grimmauld Place (aka Curzon House Hotel...). She said: "Blimey, your toes are rosy!" He said: "Bugger that, I'm getting drunk." She gave him an annotated 'Quidditch Through the Ages'; he gave her dragonpox. And the consequences were babies! Babies! Lots of babies!
Grawp met Fenrir Greyback at Brighton Pier. Grawp said: "Whatever, this is boring..."; Fenrir said: "I've never had such a big one!" Grawp gave Fenrir a blow-job; Fenrir gave Grawp a parrot called Steve. And the consequences were that they realised that Hogwarts was, in fact, unplottable and the Marauder's Map vanished in a puff of logic.
Aberforth Dumbledore met Hermione Granger in Hogwarts' moat. He said: "It's mine, so I can wash it as fast as I like." She said: "No, but I'll drink your wine." He gave her a sip of his port; she gave him a piece of treacle tart, only slightly used. And the consequences were that rocks fell, and everybody died.
Regulus Black met Percy Weasley in the gents' toilet at Hogsmeade station. Regulus said: "Are those your newest socks?" Percy said: "The Asphodel is Blooming in the Forest." Regulus gave Percy a case of port; Percy gave Regulus a bottle of ordinary household bleach. And the story continued for five hundred pages longer than it should have done, and people flew unexpectedly.
Sirius Black met Mundungus Fletcher at the ice-skating rink. Sirius said: "Bloody eff off!" Mundungus said: "I wasn't wearing any!" Sirius gave Mundungus two crumpled cigarettes; Mundungus gave Sirius a rubber chicken. And the consequences were that they both ended up working at Lupin's werewolfy brothel.
Minerva McGonagall met Regulus Black on Brokeback Mountain. She said: "Never mind the buzzcocks." He said: "Brilliantly, I like it up the arse." She gave him a rat on a stick with a side of chips and ketchup; he gave her seven tennis balls on a string. And the consequences were that they both went to Las Vegas.
And there you have it. No goats, for some reason, but yet another unexpected onion!