-Killing John Cena doesn’t make him dead. It just makes him angry.
-If John Cena was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Justin Beiber, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he’d shoot Beiber. Twice.
-If you wake up in the morning, it’s because John Cena spared your life.
-Superman wears John Cena pajamas.
-If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but John Cena says its beef. Then you better believe it’s beef.
-1.6 billion Chinese are angry with John Cena due to a traffic issue in Shanghai. Sounds like a fair fight. (True Story: Left Turns in a one way are a thing.)
-Let’s get one thing straight: the only reason you are conscious right now is because John Cena does not feel like carrying you.
-John Cena was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to John Cena.
-John Cena played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
-When life gave John Cena lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. John Cena hates lemonade.
-John Cena doesn’t miss. If he didn’t hit you it’s because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
-When John Cena was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.
-When John Cena pisses into the wind, the wind changes direction.
-John Cena’s favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.