User: love_sacrificed (posted by immortalje) Date: 2008-07-07 22:24 Subject: FIC: Left Behind (DW) Security: Public Location: home Mood: busy Tags: !fic, fandom: doctor who, pairing: 10/rose, pairing: doctor/rose

Title: Left Behind
Author: JE / immortalje
Pairing: human!Doctor/Rose, human!Doctor/Rose/Doctor thoughts
Summary: Introspective piece that takes place at the end of Journey's End! More: human!Doctor thinks about being left behind.
Rating: FRT
Beta: Word spellchecker - nobody else
Spoiler/Warnings: Journey's End
Words: 723
AN: This was written in less than half an hour (mostly to avoid the things I'm supposed to be doing)and English isn't my first language... you can point out mistakes, but don't be rude about it.

Left Behind

He couldn't believe it. He – his other self, the one that was still a full Time Lord – was leaving him behind in a parallel world. He hadn't expected that. He had expected to say goodbye to Jackie, but not this. Never this.

It didn't matter that he was leaving Rose with him. He did have dreams about travelling together. The four of them, at the very least the three of them should there be after effects for Donna. He had even considered what it would be like to share Rose with his other self. They could have flown the TARDIS together; everything would have been twice as fun. Best of all, since he was half human – as much as that thought scared him – there shouldn't even have been any problems with paradoxes!

To say it was his punishment for destroying the Daleks once and for all – hopefully, they somehow always came back no matter what he had previously thought – was ridiculous. They had committed the same sins before. He had done what had been necessary. He had done it, so the loss of Gallifray and the rest of his kind hadn't been futile. It was the right thing to do. Why couldn't his other self see that?

Rose didn't even want him. He could see that. In her eyes he wasn't even the real Doctor!
He wanted to voice all that, when Rose asked them what they had said all this time ago, the last time they had met on the very same beach they were standing on now. In that moment he realised what made him different and just why he understood that his actions had been necessary. He always avoided doing that, hurting others, killing others and with the exception of the Time War, it had always been his companions who did that. Rose had defeated the Daleks on the Gamestation, where he couldn't do it. Lucy Saxon had killed the Master when he couldn't do it and in retrospect, no matter how much he didn't want to be alone, it would have been a huge risk locking the Master up in the TARDIS. Eventually, he would have found a way to take control of his precious ship again. It was always the human that understood that sometimes you had to do things, you didn't want to do. He had only been able to destroy the Daleks because he was human now. His human part had given him the bravery to do it where he had run before and he had no doubt that his other self was all too aware of that, was scared of that. It was the real reason why he left him here. He should know – they were the same person after all.

He also knew, why he was trapping Rose here again – aside from the fact that her family was here. He could grow old with her where his other self couldn't. His other self was breaking his own heart, so Rose could have the happily ever after with growing old, houses, kids and anything else that might be involved. He agreed with that, he wanted that – no matter how much he feared it – and most of all, he was glad that it was him that could actually stay with Rose, that he wasn't the one left alone.

So, when Rose looked at him, wanting to know how he would finish that sentence, he knew what he had to do. He leaned forwards and with a dry throat and his stomach doing countless somersaults, he said – not much louder than a whisper, "I love you."

He was surprised when Rose pulled him close and kissed him, but a part of him couldn't help but watch his other self and feel this strange satisfaction that it was him Rose was kissing and not his other self. There was also a satisfaction that his other self was watching, could see what he'd never have now. Well, if he was being punished for doing what was necessary, than he could punish his other self for trapping them in this universe, on this planet and into this linear life.

Watching the TARDIS leave a moment later, he couldn't help but pity his other self. For what was the whole of time and space without Rose to travel with?

The End

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