Ranulf Ilyien (ignis_quaedam) wrote in lost_world, @ 2013-08-18 23:26:00 |
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Entry tags: | !status: complete, clark kent, ranulf ilyien |
Coffee and Eggs (open)
The immediate reaction, upon waking from the dream, was to ensure his heated mind was silenced, ensure nothing bled rudely into the mind of the little young thing in the adjoining room. It helped that he'd gone to sleep with Sabev almost completely sealed off from him. It did not help that in his dream, they'd been mentally twined together in a...
He sat on the edge of his bed, gripping his knees hard. Every part of his heart ached. He felt utterly destroyed, a shipwreck on an abandoned beach. It had only been a dream, but he'd thought about that exact scenario countless times recently. It was, he supposed, only a matter of time before his subconscious gave life to the desire.
More than ever, he was convinced that he could never pursue Sabev romantically. Even if she threw open her mind and heart to him completely, as she had in his dream, he knew what he was: a broken old bird with only half a heart left - and it, sorely damaged.
He could protect her. He could travel with her. He could even love her. But he could never, ever have her. He knew it through and through. That keen judge inside him saw the unfairness of it all and rejected the notion of any attempt to make Sabev more than a very close friend. It hurt. But he had handled hurt before. He would do again. For her.
Ilyien stood and slowly started dressing for the day. There were still early morning hours to pass, but there would be no more rest for him now. He left quietly, and headed for an all night diner.