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Severus Snape ([info]potions_hbp) wrote in [info]loremrpg,
@ 2011-04-08 22:11:00

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Entry tags:!complete, !incomplete, benjy fenwick, lucius malfoy, severus snape

Characters: Severus Snape and Benjy Fenwick to start, Lucius Malfoy joining later
Setting: Castle grounds near the front steps, evening after dinner.
Content: SFW
Summary: Severus and Benjy discuss the pureblood mania that has enraptured the school.

After dinner Severus made his way out of the Great Hall, down the front steps of the castle, and off toward the lake. The events of the past week were playing over and over in Severus' head along with his greatest mistake that took place the previous year. He threw a few stones into the lake and watched the ripples until they dissipated then slowly meandered back in the direction of the castle. There was a flat boulder just off to the side of the steps with a few trees spaced around it. Severus slumped down under the shade of the trees, his palms resting on the cool stone.

I've lost my best friend, all because of this pureblood bollocks. Because I let it get to me and then I lashed out at the one person I loved. She hates me, and I've tried all I can to remedy the situation. Potter doesn't deserve her, that git.

This brings Severus' thoughts full circle to the incident from the incident the previous year and the downward spiral starts again until Severus hears someone walking toward the castle.


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[info]potions_hbp
2011-04-09 06:07 pm UTC (link)
Severus relaxed when he heard Benjy's voice, having tensed in anticipation of James or Sirius rounding the corner.

"Hello, Benjy. Yes, I needed to get out of the castle for a bit. Fresh air helps me think." Severus noted the broom Benjy was leaning on. "Heading back from quidditch practice or just taking in a flight around the pitch?"

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[info]bwick
2011-04-09 08:49 pm UTC (link)
"I was just taking some time to clear my thoughts, too. The air's a little fresher up higher, you know." Benjy stepped back from his broom and swung it back up on his shoulder. He took the few steps up to the rock and sat on the edge of it balancing his broom across his lap.

"Things have been... It's been really... How are you doing?" Benjy finally settled with.

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[info]potions_hbp
2011-04-10 02:32 am UTC (link)
Severus brushed the hair out of his face and scooted over so Benjy had some room. Severus noted that Benjy seemed a bit flustered.

"I've been...better. It's been a hell of a week. You?"

Best not dive into that bombshell head first, it will surface.

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[info]bwick
2011-04-10 02:54 am UTC (link)
Benjy took a moment to think about how to phrase his answer. "I think this week is finally the beginning of a turning point. Maybe. I guess it's really too early to tell."

Taking advantage of the extra space, Benjy shifted further on the stone and stretched his legs out. "James and his gang haven't been messing with you again, have they? Kira said something about Lily and James, and I thought they might be, well, pulling some prank on you."

With his thoughts mostly focused on his own concerns, Benjy hadn't been too on top of the current events with the other students. Sure, he had heard some comments, especially from his sister, but nothing about what had really happened.

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[info]potions_hbp
2011-04-10 03:44 am UTC (link)
"A turn in which direction?" Severus muttered almost to himself. At Benjy's mention of Potter and his little gang Severus' cheeks flushed slightly with embarrassment. The fact that he was Potter and Black's prime target, and the entire castle knew of it, was enough to tarnish anyone's spirit were they in his position.

"In a way, yes they have. Kira was part of it too, actually." The thought of James seeking Lily's attention for the purpose of infuriating him was something that had never even crossed Severus' mind. "I really hope it is just a bunch of rumors, for Lily's sake. As much as I believe he doesn't deserve her, I'd rather that slimy git actually have feelings for her than pretend and break her heart later."

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[info]bwick
2011-04-10 04:07 am UTC (link)
Benjy's head snapped snapped toward Snape over at the mention of his sister. "Wait, what was Kira a part of? She said that Lily was... spending time with James, but..." Trailing off for a second, Benjy tried to make sense of what had taken place. "Severus, what exactly is happening?"

For Severus to begrudgingly give any sort of blessing for James and Lily being together, this had to be a very serious situation. Instantly, Benjy resolved to keep better track of the goings on of those around him.

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[info]potions_hbp
2011-04-10 04:30 am UTC (link)
Severus sighed and scrubbed his face with his hands. He needs to explain things to Benjy so he doesn't jump to conclusions about Kira.

"Calm down, she was just defending Lily." There's no easy way to think through this again, so best just get on with it. "Lily wrote in her journal ranting about some spider in her room and being afraid. I made what I thought was a harmless remark trying to lighten the mood and before I knew it I had James and Kira were harassing and threatening me." Severus was tense with the mixture of emotions flooding back to the forefront of his thoughts.

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[info]bwick
2011-04-10 04:48 am UTC (link)
Opening his mouth to speak, Benjy found himself at a momentary loss for words. Here was Severus, completely distraught, telling him to calm down and rationalizing such horrible treatment directed his way.

"Severus, you shouldn't have to deal with this. I know that you and Lily have had problems in the past, but this seems to be too much." Hearing that Kira was a part of Severus' horrid treatment was almost too much to take in. His reasoning was not trustworthy at the moment, and Benjy recognized that.

"I...what can I do to help?" he offered.

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[info]potions_hbp
2011-04-10 05:32 am UTC (link)
"The wrongs of my past still haunt me, and no matter what I do I can not make things right." Severus felt tears start to build up but he fought them back. He didn't want to become upset in front of Benjy; that would only increase Severus' inner humiliation. "She has never let me apologize to her. Kira is just looking out for her best mate so I don't really blame her for lashing out at me, though I was hurt by her harsh words. James was worse, he always is." Severus took a shaky breath, hoping to calm his nerves before divulging the final blow.

"I wrote Lily, pleaded my case and told her that..." Severus sniffed and wiped his eyes, damn tears, "Told her that I didn't have the strength to keep trying to fix things, and maybe her and I aren't meant to be in each other's lives anymore." A silent sob shook through Severus before he continued. "She said she wasn't interested in apologies, and basically her and I can't be friends because she doesn't like the opinions of the people in my own house that I am acquainted with. It's like she's punishing me for hanging out with people who actually make me feel like a person and not some thing that can be tortured." Severus' shaky voice lowered to a whisper, as though the last statement had been an after thought.

"I'm not sure there is anything that can be done."

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[info]bwick
2011-04-11 02:04 am UTC (link)
"It's not your fault that there are some... questionable people in your house. We all have some of those people around us." Benjy could agree that there were people in Slytherin whose company was comparable to sitting in dragon dung, but this was hardly the time or place to approach that conversation.

"I guess, well, you can just try to be there for her when, or if, she needs you. I mean, you were friends before, so there's always hope that things can be made right eventually. It's just a matter of time," Benjy said as he placed a hand on Snape's shoulder. He figured most people would prefer a hug in a similar situation, but Severus seemed to be too close to a breakdown, and a hug could be just enough to set him over the edge.

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[info]potions_hbp
2011-04-11 04:19 pm UTC (link)
"Just like it isn't her fault that the lot in her house are right fowl gits. Though she could do best to steer clear of them." Severus wipes his eyes again and held back another sob. "All of this talk of pure blood has worked the castle into a tizzy, and my house has been put at the scapegoat solely because some of the members are very vocal of their opinions. I know for a fact there are some students in other houses who share these views." Severus didn't know names for sure, but just from lurking around the castle he had heard bits of student's conversations in the corridors.

"Even if she does decide she needs me in any way, I doubt she will speak to me. Her words were final. I never even imagined a day when she wouldn't speak to me until last year. Since then I have only been hoping we could reconcile our friendship. Any hopes I had once are now gone, after I cocked everything up last week." Severus appreciated the gesture Benjy made to comfort him and at the same time very glad that he hadn't gone for the hug. Severus didn't have enough control on his emotions to not break down if Benjy had hugged him.

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[info]bwick
2011-04-11 05:33 pm UTC (link)
It felt as if Severus' words were stabbing into Benjy. He was all too aware of the problems coming about from this sudden surge in popularity of "blood purity".

"It's not fair that Slytherin as a whole is getting punished for this mania. In fact, I think there are a whole lot of us to blame for it, just by not speaking up against it."

As soon as Benjy said this, he was struck with an idea. "Maybe that's something that could help. If Lily sees how you really feel by speaking up and looking out for us non-purebloods, maybe she'll see that she had the wrong idea about you. We could both make a point by being more vocal about it."

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[info]potions_hbp
2011-04-12 04:48 am UTC (link)
Severus' breath caught in his throat at Benjy's idea and his eyes went wide. He quickly wiped his face with his sleeve to get rid of the tear streaks, also hoping Benjy didn't catch the moment of panic. Severus cleared his throat a couple of times before speaking.

"I...um...my house mates may not exactly be too keen on this idea of yours. I don't necessarily share all of their views but I don't exactly refute them either. I'm not really sure where I stand fully on the issue."

Severus slowly stood up, walked out from under the tree to take a quick look about, and returned to his seat next on the rock. He focused on his shoes and began fidgeting with his hands.

"Can I tell you a secret?" Severus whispered.

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[info]bwick
2011-04-12 01:10 pm UTC (link)
Benjy thought he knew Severus better than current news was leading him to believe. But, well, he was still figuring things out, so Benjy decided to do what he could to help his friend.

And once Severus sat back on the rock, Benjy had his first chance to help out. "Of course," he replied. Severus' sudden change in demeanor was a bit confusing to Benjy, but he figured it was just because of the enormity of the secret about to be shared.

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[info]potions_hbp
2011-04-12 06:49 pm UTC (link)
Severus sighed and looked his friend in the eye. They had known each other for a few years through a sort of mentoring partnership Professor Slughorn had set up. Benjy being an older student who is skilled in Potions seemed a perfect match for Potions prodigy like Severus and the two have been close ever since. Severus really hoped that he wouldn't lose another friend in this pure blood madness, especially with what he was about to divulge.

"Benjy, I...um...look you can't let this get around the castle, especially not to anyone in my house." Severus took a quick look around again and dropped the volume of his voice. "I'm not pureblood, only half. No one in Slytherin knows, and they can't. The only person that knows is Li-Lily. If I become vocal about standing up for non-purebloods, my entire house may very well turn against me." Severus continued fidgeting, nervous for his friend's response.

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[info]bwick
2011-04-12 07:33 pm UTC (link)
Benjy's forehead creased as he took in and processed the information. "But, then why...? If you're..." Benjy tried starting, but the questions were forming faster than his mouth could keep up.

After a moment of frustration, he tried a different tactic. "Of course I won't tell anyone. But, if that's true, it would be an even stronger statement to Lily. And then other people in your house..." Benjy had to stop before he pushed too far. After talking with Septima, he knew that the views of some people would never be changed, and that there could be extreme problems among family members. And that's exactly what each house became for the students there.

"I guess that is a tough spot to be in," he finally admitted.

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[info]the_pretentious
2011-04-13 11:38 am UTC (link)
After finishing his dinner, Lucius decided he ought to take a walk. He'd been terribly distracted as of late, mostly with thoughts of a particular lady, which was completely abnormal for him. He needed to refocus on things like getting top marks in all his classes. Quidditch would be starting up soon, and though he actually loathed playing, he knew he needed to get back into his routine exercise regiments to get back into top playing condition. Both seemed like worthy topics to get his mind off of his current distraction, but neither seemed to hold his interest.

What did catch his eye was the sight of Severus Snape talking to a Ravenclaw student he kind of knew, only because he played Quidditch. It was a bit odd, and off-putting. They looked deep in conversation, which was also strange, knowing Snape as he did.

"Severus," he said, making his presence known. "I hope the only 'tough spot' you're allegedly trapped in is being subjected to speaking to those beneath you."

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[info]potions_hbp
2011-04-13 03:33 pm UTC (link)
Severus jumped at the sound of Lucius' voice but quickly tried to regain his composure. Bollocks, this is last thing I need right now.

"L-Lucius. I was, um, just telling Benjy here that I, uh, am a bit over my head with Ancient Runes homework as well as in need of finishing that essay for History of Magic but I have a meeting for the Astronomy Club later that I wouldn't want to miss." Severus rambled quickly, hoping Lucius wouldn't push too many questions and catch him in a lie.

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[info]bwick
2011-04-13 04:42 pm UTC (link)
Lucius' voice caught Benjy completely unawares, as seemed to be the normal for him. He started and knocked his broom over onto the ground.

Because of how sudden Lucius happened upon them, it took Benjy a moment to actually understand what had been said to Severus. It seemed as though his new resolve to stick up for himself was already being put to the test.

Benjy wanted to ignore Snape's lie, especially after everything Snape had just told him, but it still felt as if he had been slapped in the face. Normally, Benjy would have just taken such a comment in stride, but after so much drama about status, something snapped. "I'm sorry Lucius, but Severus and I are in the middle of a conversation. I'd ask you to join us, but I wouldn't want you to have to demean yourself to helping someone."

Whenever Lucius came around, Benjy was immediately on edge. It took a conscious effort not to draw his wand, because even as a source of defense, it would have given Lucius provocation.

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[info]the_pretentious
2011-04-13 06:35 pm UTC (link)
He was really going to need to teach Snape how to have some semblance of decorum so he didn't stammer through every sentence he spoke. Even the halfblood loser Snape was conversing with spoke more clearly than him. Lucius figured for now it would be best to just get his housemate away from Fenwick. They could work on his speech patterns later.

"I am not above helping my fellow Slytherins should they find themselves in need," he said, flatly. "Severus, you should have asked me to help you with your Ancient Runes assignment. You need not look to someone like him to help you. Surely you're not that desperate."

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[info]bwick
2011-04-13 06:52 pm UTC (link)
Benjy was having a hard time holding back his temper. Sitting down and being angry didn't seem right, so he stood up to confront Malfoy to his face.

"For your information, it was your head of house who asked me to help Severus out. Perhaps you should take this up with Professor Slughorn if you have a problem."

Keeping his voice even was difficult. Now that Benjy had begun to speak up against Lucius, it was like a fervor was taking hold and he could barely control his words.

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[info]potions_hbp
2011-04-13 07:25 pm UTC (link)
Panic built up in Severus as Benjy confronted Lucius. He had to do something quickly before wands were drawn. If I stand up for Benjy Lucius will get suspicious, but if I defend Lucius I could lose a true friend in Benjy. Bloody fucking hell, if I'm having this much trouble i hate to think how the rest of the wizarding world is going to deal with the pureblood bullshit.

Severus stood and stepped up to the two very intimidating, very in shape Quidditch players. What am I supposed to do? Think, you tosspot!

"Lucius, remember in fourth year when Slughorn put me in an advanced Potions section outside of class? Benjy has been my tutor all this time." Severus gave Benjy a quick look and tentatively placed a hand on Lucius's shoulder, giving it a gentle push away from Benjy. "Come on, let's go back to the common room and I'll get my Ancient Runes homework. The translations on page 437 are throwing me for a loop."

Severus glanced between the two as he waited to see if the ensuing fight had been squashed. Something told Severus that at this point he and Benjy's friendship was strained at best, he hoped it was still salvageable.

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[info]the_pretentious
2011-04-13 09:30 pm UTC (link)
"Slughorn has a tendency to be charitable. I'm sure your partnership was nothing more than that," Lucius said, his voice dripping with venom. It irritated him to know that this had been going on for a couple of years, but what was there to be done about it? A stop had to be put on it, that was for certain. He didn't care what Snape did as long as it didn't bring down the rest of their house, which, this would.

He glanced at Snape when the dark haired boy put a hand on his shoulder. "Come along then," he said, and turned to leave.

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[info]bwick
2011-04-13 11:54 pm UTC (link)
"Yes. I'm glad to be able to do my part in giving my time and energy to make Hogwarts a better place. And I really admire how Professor Slughorn recognizes the need to look elsewhere for help, no matter how unfortunate it is that it's for your house's signature class."

Benjy had crossed beyond being able to filter his words at all. Somewhere, he recognized that he was lowering himself to Malfoy's level, but each word was out of his mouth before he even realized what was happening.

"Severus, you don't have to take that from him. You should be able to make your own decisions. This is exactly what I was-" Benjy finally caught ahold of himself before spilling everything in front of Lucius.

"I mean, this is exactly why I said we should set up meetings at better times..." The fervor extinguished, Benjy trailed off. It was a weak cover, but now that Benjy was back in control of his words, his brain seemed to be slowing down to make up for running in overdrive.

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[info]potions_hbp
2011-04-14 04:46 am UTC (link)
Severus turned with Lucius and with a quick glance to make sure Lucius wasn't looking, gave Benjy an apologetic look but saw the anger on Benjy's face. Severus felt sick to his stomach for offending someone he considered one of the only true friends he had in the entire castle. When Benjy told Lucius off Severus bit back a smile but stopped dead when Benjy almost let slip the content of their prior conversation.

"As Quidditch season will be starting soon, perhaps we should hold off on Potions meetings until you find out your practice schedule." Severus gave Benjy an I'll owl you later look.

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