InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "But I know just what ur up 2"

Benjy Fenwick is a Keeper (bwick) wrote in loremrpg,
@ 2011-04-02 23:36:00

Entry tags:

benjy fenwick, septima vector

Characters: Benjy Fenwick and Septima Vector (At least for now)
Setting: Saturday, early afternoon, Three Broomsticks/Hogsmeade
Content: SFW
Summary: Benjy is trying to apologize to Septima from earlier in the week.
Status: Incomplete

Even though Benjy had talked over his concerns with Kira earlier in the week, he was still uncomfortable with how he had left Septima Monday morning. Going through the rest of the week, it was if he was riding an automatic broom. By the time the weekend rolled around, Benjy barely remembered even going to classes or Quidditch tryouts, which was really saying something. But when he woke up Saturday morning, he felt slightly better, because he knew that he finally had a chance to make things right between Septima and himself.

As soon as Benjy made it to Hogsmeade, he made a quick trip to replenish his ink wells that were smashed when he flipped over in the Charms corridor and the contents of his bag dumped out. Otherwise, as far as snacks and non-essentials, he would wait until after his meeting with Septima. Kira had helped ease his mind as far as him being the direct reason that Septima was so upset, but he still felt quite guilty for adding to her foul mood.

He walked into the Three Broomsticks and started scouting for an open table. The well-worn tables and general atmosphere helped to calm Benjy's nerves immediately. Luckily, he got there before the lunch rush hit and most of the other students were off looking at all of the knickknacks and other random accessories that always came along with a trip to Hogsmeade. In the back corner of the store there was an open table. This way they would be a little out of the main path for when all of the other students came in.

Sitting alone at the table, Benjy ordered a butterbeer and sipped on it, waiting for Septima to show up.

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bwick
2011-04-11 06:15 pm UTC (link)

"That doesn't make it right, though." Benjy was beginning to understand how deep some of the pureblooded ideals ran. He knew there were members of his family that had been prejudiced against because of their lineage, but he thought that time had passed and it was something that was all but gone.

"Sorry," Benjy preemptively apologized. "It hurts knowing that there are still people who truly believe this nonsense. I mean, I know people in my family have had to deal with this in the past. But I thought we had moved past it."

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victory_v
2011-04-12 03:12 pm UTC (link)

Septima quickly raised an eyebrow at that first comment, settling down as he apologised and elaborated. She was quiet, honestly thinking about how to phrase what she said next. It seemed as though the reality of what being a society pureblood meant was slowly starting to sink in for Benjy, and she didn't want to ruin that by pushing the issue or sounding flippant.

"Perhaps the rest of society has moved on, but there are so few pureblood families left now that it's almost like living in a microcosm - so few are left to carry on the traditional ways, so there is more pressure for the young ones amongst us to conform as a result. It would be easier if it was something I was ready for, but after Hogwarts I want to live knowing I can live for myself for a while" she sighed, sipping the last of her drink.

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bwick
2011-04-12 07:50 pm UTC (link)

Benjy was having a hard time deciding where Septima actually aligned herself. On one hand, it sounded like she didn't approve of the ideals of the pureblood-elitest, but on the other, she seemed to be defending them and it almost sounded to Benjy as if she was not ready to give it up.

"I guess it's something that I will never truly understand. I still don't think it's right to treat people differently based off of their lineage but, we've also fought so hard to incorporate aspects of the non-wizarding world that we sometimes overlook some of the beneficial aspects of our wizarding heritage."

Deep down, he was hurt knowing that his relationship with Septima would always be slightly skewed from what it had been. But he also recognized how much he valued her friendship and team camaraderie. Finally, his eyes dropped from her face to his empty glass.

He had no idea what more he could say at this point, and hoped that she would have something more to add.

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victory_v
2011-04-12 07:59 pm UTC (link)

It wasn't until Benjy said the last of his speech that it began to dawn on Septima just what he was actually saying. There was a huge gulf between where she had come from and from where he had always been, and hearing what he truly thought... well, it wasn't pleasant to hear. But it was becoming to turn into a bit of a wake up call - one that was forcing her to take her head from the clouds and face up to the reality of her situation.

It was swiftly turning into a case of her life versus her family... and she wasn't ready to make that choice. Not yet.

"You... you don't think I think less of others because of who they are, do you?" she asked tentatively, not sure that she would like his answer.

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	bwick 2011-04-12 08:41 pm UTC (link)
	Forcing his gaze back up to Septima's, Benjy answered, "I don't think so. But I know that where they come from is something that you'll always be aware of." And that was the truth. He didn't believe that Septima held any prejudices against him or other non-purebloods, but her family and upbringing had ingrained in her that it was still something to be noted. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

victory_v
2011-04-12 08:47 pm UTC (link)

Septima frowned. Though it was clear that Benjy was the sort of person to be frank with what he felt, she couldn't help but feel that there was a little bit of disapproval in his voice.

"I can't help where I come from, you know" she mumbled quietly, for it was true - none of them chose their own families, whether they were pureblood, Muggleborn or somewhere in between. "And I can't help that my parents have expectations for me, either... whether it's something I want or not, I will never be able to change what they want for those of us that are left."

She sat back in her chair and finished the Gillywater, looking more than a little rejected and finally resigned to the fact that some day soon, she would have to make the choice to stay or go.

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bwick
2011-04-12 08:58 pm UTC (link)

Septima could have slapped Benjy across the face and it would have hurt less.

"No, I didn't mean that. And I know you can't, any more than I can. I mean, all of our parents are pushing us in some way, and none of us can help it. Some of that pressure is just a little different."

Benjy fiddled with his empty glass for a moment, and added, "I'm sorry that this got to be such a big deal. I didn't know how much pressure it really was for you, and it's not really something fun to talk about."

A few laughs escaped from Benjy. "I would ask you here to apologize, then have to apologize for apologizing. I'm a bit too dense for my own good sometimes."

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victory_v
2011-04-12 09:15 pm UTC (link)

"No, it isn't" she said, though more softly this time. "And it isn't just you who should apologise... I should have realised sooner that it isn't normal for everyone... I suppose it seems really strange when it's not something you've grown up with."

His laughs sounded slightly bitter to her, and to her own surprise, this was more than a little bit painful. Reaching across, she patted his hand gently. "Don't apologise for it, Benjy" she said. "Really. You've been far more fair about this than I could ever have been."

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bwick
2011-04-12 10:37 pm UTC (link)

A genuine smile spread across Benjy's face. Septima's words touched him and made him feel much better about the whole exchange.

He turned his hand over and gently squeezed Septima's. "Thank you. You've been more open than I think most people would. I really appreciate your honesty and your friendship. If I can ever help you out with... anything, just let me know."

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victory_v
2011-04-13 12:26 pm UTC (link)

Keeping a brave face, Septima did her best to smile and squeezed his hand back. Knowing there were at least a few people in the castle who would support whatever decision she made really did make her feel better, but at the moment it was all she could do to just not cry at the thought of what lay ahead.

She sighed. "All that needs to be done is wait and see what my parents have to say for themselves, I think. And whenever that happens, I guess I'll have a decision to make."

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bwick
2011-04-13 10:41 pm UTC (link)

Benjy wanted to say something about Septima's last comment. Waiting for her parents to bring it up wasn't really dealing with it, but they had already been so close to damaging their friendship that he didn't want to chance it. And, regardless, he knew that she really didn't believe in pureblood superiority, and that was good enough.

"How about we get some lunch? I don't know about you, but I could really eat." Benjy smiled back at his friend. He could tell that they both needed a break from the seriousness and to just spend some time enjoying what little time they had left before entering the "real" world.

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victory_v
2011-04-14 11:17 am UTC (link)

There was a course a reason for Septima wanting to wait. Ultimately, she loved her parents and wanted to think the best of them - it was possible that they would allow her, their youngest, more leeway than the others as they had always done. Even if this was not the case, the time for them to discuss a formal match could yet be years away, in which time she could have plucked up the courage to find someone by herself. In Septima's view, there would be no need to kick the hornets' nest just yet - only if they brought it up whilst she was still at school.

Removing her hand slightly shyly, she nodded. "I think that's a good idea" she said, deciding there and then to ignore the matter and have a good day for a change.

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