1/2
Ed sat there in silence after Trish had moved over to his bed. He felt his breath quicken, realising that things were bound to change. Listening to her speak and feeling her hand on his knee was somewhat soothing especially since they hadn't been this close for a while. The look she gave him as she spoke though quickly made Ed all the more hesitant about telling Trish the truth. He noticed the glassy appearance of her blue eyes and he couldn't help but beat himself up about it. He was the one who hurt her in all this, and the irony of it all was unbelievable. All this time he'd been shooing off any of her potential suitors because he didn't want her to get hurt, but in the end they hadn't hurt her, he had. And thinking about that for a moment caused him too much pain, because at the end of it all, whether he told Trish he loved her or not, he just wanted her to be happy. And while the last weeks had caused her as much pain as him, he was sure that maybe one day she'd be okay, she could be happy. But on the other hand, letting her go wasn't an option, it didn't take much for him to come to that conclusion. He needed Trish more than he needed anyone, he already knew that prior to their little separation, but now more than ever he believed it. He could continue how they were before by burying his feelings. Though, if he did that, he wasn't sure he would be okay with watching Trish prance off with another bloke. It wasn't how he was wired, hell, he was pretty sure no one in his position would. Ed briefly thought of Edwin and Marlene. As much as he respected both of them, especially Eddie, he couldn't do what Eddie does every single day. He also couldn't lie to her anymore, especially after she practically pleaded with him.
Her hand still rested on his knee, he looked her directly in the eyes, his face softening a little at the mention of her thoughts during their separation. Sure, one would assume they were strictly platonic and Ed did believe that to his very core, but he couldn't help but feel a little reassured by the thought. The reassurance she gave him about Sirius helped him relax a little, allowing a brief moment of easiness spread over his body before responding to what his best mate had just said. Now, Ed never rarely had trouble speaking or expressing how he felt about a situation, but here and now, it was almost as if someone had hexed his mouth shut. Ed swallowed the lump in his throat, nodding his head slowly, his features still relatively soft and expressing some hints of pain. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice a little husky before he cleared his throat before continuing. "I mean for not trusting you, for making this difficult, for preventing you to be happy with whatever bloke you chose. I'm sorry for everything," he said, looking down trying to avert her eyes as he felt ashamed about his previous actions.