InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "You Winchester boys are famous"

Benjy Fenwick is a Keeper (bwick) wrote in loremrpg,
@ 2011-05-12 23:37:00

Entry tags:

!complete, !incomplete, benjy fenwick, kira fenwick

Characters: Benjy and Kira Fenwick (and just about everyone else)
Setting: Great Hall / Entrance Hall
Summary: Benjy and Kira have a sibling "discussion" about the events between Kira and Sirius.
Rating: Moderate, for potential language.

After "talking" with his sister the previous night over their journals, Benjy's brain wouldn't shut off and he was up all night trying to process through, well, everything. Needless to say, he was not exactly at his peak when he meandered down from the Ravenclaw Tower to get some breakfast.

More or less, he was running on autopilot, as was his usual when he was trying to work through something. To make matters worse, he was stuck at some conclusions that were impossible to accept. Kira was his sister and he loved her no matter what, but he was just so frustrated with her. He had to be there for her, but he couldn't bring himself to look at her. And he was hating himself for it.

And this is the loop that he found himself in while he began chewing a slice of bacon and staring off into the wall of the Great Hall. Deep down, Benjy knew that he needed to talk to Kira. She was, after all, the one in need of consoling. But he had no idea how to even approach her.

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kwick
2011-05-13 05:29 am UTC (link)

To say Kira had a knack for impossible situations this past few months was an understatement. Ironically enough, or perhaps even tragically enough, both of the significant situations in which Kira acted out, Sirius was involved. It was only by his consent the second time around, but that didn't make the circumstances any better or worse really. She'd looked back and laughed at the shower incident, even going so far as to taunt Sirius about what she'd seen that day. Given he was far from ashamed of his body, and rightly so, but she still took great delight in picking at him all the same. They butted heads quite often really, but when united for a common purpose, the two proved to be brilliant in and of themselves. When Dorcas needed a rock, Kira was there with a plan to sort through the mess. She distracted Sirius and Remus from James' recent head trauma with a task they could make their own, and as a result, the group had a rather amusing memory to hang on to beyond that night.

However, as Sirius had shown her once again, they could be quite explosive. That night Kira met him at his own party, both under the mask of the confundus charm, they instantly hit it off. Or so she thought anyway. He was charming and respectful initially, and the flirting was pursued on both fronts. Surprisingly enough, Kira was pleased to spend such a great deal of time with the mystery boy, as he was deemed at that point. They danced a lot, talked even more, wound up drinking together throughout the course of several hours, digging out truths from one another and even daring to cross lines here and there. By the time it progressed to the boy's bedroom, Kira was long gone. Still she was able to willingly consent to what happened next, though she probably would have thought twice if only of sound enough mind to see which dormitory she'd managed to slip into.

The worst thing about the realization Sirius was the guy was definitely the fact Kira had to relinquish her fight. He was right about her, and probably basking in his victory to be honest. More so, she'd managed to realize that truly she'd felt something for the prat. Impossible relationships, as she discovered, were becoming her specialty.

Though she'd closed herself off to the rest of the world, Kira managed to turn to her brother and tell him, however vaguely, what happened. Unfortunately he didn't take it too kindly. Though he was short and sweet with his responses via the journal, Kira could tell she'd irked him to no end. She knew she'd let him down, and more so, that he was fed up with her behavior. It wouldn't have been such a big deal had she not grown to really respect and trust her brother's judgment. If he felt that way about her, surely that meant she was truly far gone. Good thing she didn't tell him about that trip to the Slytherin common room, huh?

Kira forced herself to turn up to breakfast, but she made certain to keep her Herbology text handy so she could busy herself with documenting the findings from the last trip to her Alihosty in Greenhouse 1. It would give her cause to avoid looking at anyone, and better yet, talking about things she'd rather avoid. The girl nearly talked herself into sitting across from her big brother, but when she saw him staring blankly at the wall opposite him, she recalled their conversation the night before. Needless to say, Kira was far from Godric Gryffindor. It took all the courage she had within her to talk to her brother last night, and there was very little left with which to work at this point.

Sitting a few students down from Benjy, still within eye and ear shot, Kira set her text down on the table and shifted the parchment deeper into the pages of her book. She forced herself to prepare a plate that she was certain she'd hardly pick at, but appearances were really what counted, right? Then pouring herself a glass of water, Kira sucked down the beverage as if desperate to rehydrate after the last few days. Setting the glass down again, Kira pinched a piece from her blueberry muffin and shoved it into her mouth before prying her textbook open and taking the quill and parchment out.

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bwick
2011-05-13 06:00 am UTC (link)

The appearance of Kira would have most likely gone unnoticed by Benjy had the owls not come in for the morning mail delivery. The swooping around kicked in his reflexes and brought him to the present moment. But it still took Benjy almost until the last owl was out of the Great Hall before he realized where he was and that he had completed his breakfast. And as the last owl left, Benjy saw Kira sitting down the table from him.

She was engrossed in an academic book she had brought down with her, but that didn't fool Benjy. Usually, she'd bring something she was reading for pleasure, not homework. He knew that she was really only trying to look busy. Possibly in an attempt to keep him away. Regardless, not saying something to her would be rude, especially because she had probably seen him already.

Benjy knew that he must have had a sour look on his face, because the other students sitting between them took that moment as their cue to leave, all mumbling something about completing assignments or getting ready for the day. He was not happy with his sister. There was no point in trying to deny that. But Benjy knew that she was beating herself up more over what happened than he was. Especially because she wasn't sitting with any of her friends, which meant that things may be even worse than he was thinking (if that was possible).

Shifting down to sit next to her, Benjy asked, "Kira, is there something going on that you're not telling me about?" There were only two logical conclusions about what had happened. Either Sirius had completely taken advantage of Kira (even though she denied it) or Kira was really trying to make something happen between her and Sirius. Anything else just seemed implausible. But actually asking Kira either option was simply too much for Benjy.

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kwick
2011-05-13 06:26 am UTC (link)

Kira felt her brother's presence before she saw him, looking up only after he'd finished his question. It bothered her even more to know he had further interrogations to get underway. Though the girl hadn't stated outright what she and Sirius had done, she thought the implication last night was strong enough to suffice. Now her brother wondered what else there was. Frankly, as irritating as it was, she could hardly blame him for questioning. Kira hadn't been entirely forward with him the past two months. In spending more and more time with her group, mostly comprised of Gryffindors, she'd become a bit more indulgent where irresponsible flights of freedom were concerned. Looking back, there was little Kira would rewrite, save Sirius.

Though she fancied him, she didn't want to make the relationship happen. For starters, Kira was well aware it would be damn near impossible, even for a Ravenclaw, to master such a feat. If that weren't an issue, however, Sirius' severe lack of commitment was. Far from boys like him, Kira couldn't do with another school-wide embarrassment over a boy. She had a very 'fool me twice, shame on me' mentality where that was concerned.

Kira took her eyes off her paperwork for a brief second, meeting her brother's only long enough to realize it made her more uncomfortable. Shifting them back down to her quill as she tapped it against her parchment, she finally spoke. "I don't know what you're talking about, Ben. I've told you everything." It was very strange to be in her brother's presence and not lean her head on his shoulder or prod him for advice. However, Kira was beyond that at this point. She wanted nothing more than to attempt to return to that sense of normalcy, but trying to go there right now would only make matters worse. She had a feeling they weren't to that stage yet.

Deciding it was best to try to avert the topic, Kira flipped through the pages of her book nonchalantly before interjecting again once her page was found. "How are Quidditch practises treating you?" she retorted, keeping her eyes focused between the parchment and her text.

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bwick
2011-05-13 06:53 am UTC (link)

The nonchalance that Kira approached the situation threw Benjy completely off. He was so used to Kira using him as a sounding board for so much that having her treat everything with the same casual tone she might use to address the recent weather pushed the elder Fenwick from generally upset to anger.

"Really? That's it? You're just shutting me out like a stranger?" Benjy pushed the book and parchment away from Kira in an attempt to make her actually pay attention to him. "I-I feel like I don't even know you anymore. What is going on?" he demanded, in a slightly louder tone than he realized.

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kwick
2011-05-14 03:19 am UTC (link)

His words hit pretty hard, but it wasn't until Benjy shoved her homework away that Kira actually physically saw the anger written on his features. She hadn't expected such an outburst from him, the one who typically was able to keep his cool regardless of the situation. That aside, Kira had truly believed she'd told him all there was to say without digging into the dirt, and the Great Hall was certainly not the place to give a second-by-second replay of that night with Sirius. Her eyes shifted between his before she indignantly tugged her parchment back. With her palm flat on the page, covering the smears his action had caused, Kira kept her gaze locked on her brother. "Quit it, Ben," she warned under her breath, her own eyebrows furrowing as she shot a glare at him. The last thing Kira wanted was for her business to become public knowledge, and his raised voice suggested others were bound to hear. Already several students from the tables on either side of theirs were turning to look.

Glancing to the side before tucking her hair behind her ears, Kira looked back to her big brother. It was painfully obvious Benjy was mad, though she hardly thought that was fair. After all, she had been the one who'd mucked up and got hurt. Benjy had said only yesterday she didn't have to tell him everything, and here he was asking for further details he wasn't even sure existed in front of the rest of the student body. Forcing out a huff, Kira picked up her parchment and quill and stuffed it back into her textbook before slamming the cover closed on top of it. "Come off it, Ben. You know me just fine. Just because... I'm still your sister. Besides, I told you everything." Kira crossed her arms over her book, pulling it closer to her anxiously.

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bwick
2011-05-14 05:45 am UTC (link)

Years of conditioning - their whole lives, actually - had made Benjy come to expect that Kira and he would share everything. Granted, this was not the usual territory for them. But still, his sister seemed to be hiding something from him. On a normal day, he would probably get that this was just not where she wanted to talk, but after staying up all night Benjy wasn't making connections the way he normally should.

Then Kira began stonewalling him. And continued pushing him away. Of course he was getting angry. Did she just expect him to jump from protective older brother to common bystander?

"Come off it? Are you mental? You share," Benjy gestured wildly with his hand in an attempt to find the right word, "this with me and then start getting indignant with me for trying to make a point of watching out for you. I'm sorry that I was worried about you. Apparently you've got this all handled on your own, so why don't I just leave you to your obviously fantastic life decisions."

More than a few people were looking their way now. Between Benjy's raised voice and frantic arm movements, this was shaping up to be quite a spectacle.

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kwick
2011-05-14 06:18 am UTC (link)

Kira had never been a fan of feeling she was lacking where her brain was concerned, so the fact her brother asked if she was mental furthered the great chasm that was growing between them. She couldn't step back to think things through from his perspective, nor could the headstrong girl back down. She had a hard time believing Benjy was the one wronged in this situation. In fact, Kira completely regretted having told him anything to begin with.

The way her brother flung his arms to and fro made Kira nauseous, mostly because she was well aware now of all the eyes turning to the two of them. She wasn't one for making a scene, particularly not when this was the subject being discussed. Her love life, no matter how much she botched things up, had always been her own. Sure, she'd relied on Benjy to be her support more times than she could count on two hands. Until now Kira had never thought it a problem. Today he just managed to make her feel ignorant and childish, well beyond the point of hurting and vulnerable, where she was before this run-in. "'Watching out for [me]?' Is that what you call this? In that case, you can keep it!" Kira snapped back, unable to fight the urge to cry at that point. She hated herself for it, but more prevalent at this moment was her fury at Benjy for making her feel so stupid. Kira didn't do well with perceived weaknesses within herself, so this was not well received at all.

For a second she fought the urge to storm away, but when she relived that last statement her brother had made, the point had been breached. There was really no turning back. "I'm sorry my life is such an inconvenience to you," she finally added in a quieter yet sharp tone of voice, scooping up her textbook before standing up abruptly. "I won't make the mistake of telling you anything about it again." And with that, she turned away from her brother, fighting complete breakdown though the tears were already rolling down her cheeks. It wasn't until she got out of the Great Hall and away from prying eyes she allowed herself to breathe again, only walking slowly until she reached the stairs where she was no longer within sight of anyone who'd seen the commotion. At that point, she near ran back up to Ravenclaw Tower.

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bwick
2011-05-14 07:23 am UTC (link)

Any other day, every other day, Benjy would have run after Kira. But today, this morning, he couldn't.

He wasn't wrong in trying to point out that Kira's actions had been ridiculous. As far as Benjy could tell, Kira was fighting some personal battle to see just how far she could take a situation and still bounce back. Or perhaps, she was acting out those novels that she was constantly reading.

Even though Benjy stood by his intention, he was beginning to realize that his method of delivery was quite trollish. Mostly, this was pointed out by the many staring faces that Benjy had started noticing all around him.

And in an instant, every bit of anger Benjy was feeling turned in on himself. He had yelled at his sister, made her cry, and, to top it off, done both in front of most of the school. She was just trying to move on from what had happened, and he hadn't picked up on that. He had made matters much more worse.

So today wasn't all that different. Benjy stood up and walked out of the Great Hall, heading back toward the dormitories to see if he could try to make things right again.

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