Rita Skeeter (skeetbeat) wrote in lockewood, @ 2010-11-08 14:52:00 |
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Entry tags: | skeet beat |
Dearest Lockewood, With the growing number of people in our midst, it’s becoming terribly difficult to keep track of all that goes on! Really, a woman must have some time for herself. To ease this ever-growing burden, I have decided to begin picking a few fortunate helpers to keep an eye on things. You do want to know what your fellow villagers are up to, don’t you? Of course you do, darling. You will begin to see their contributions next month and the months following December, my lovelies. Kisses, Rita Skeeter | |||||
Aries (March 21 - April 19) This should be a very happy month and a far better one than most you've had. Mars has now so far journeyed to the top of your chart and it is in Sagittarius, a fellow fire sign like yours. You always do well when your ruling planet, Mars, is in a fire sign, for he can support you in a much more wholehearted way, and you're sure to feel the results. Taurus (April 20- May 20) It's so easy to love a Taurus. As a Taurus you are a sensual creature. You notice all the little things around you that make the world a beautiful place to live - things others overlook. You will rave about the bouquet of a wine, the notes in a delicate fragrance, and the subtle ingredients in a French sauce. A Taurus knows life is to be lived to the fullest. Spending time with a Taurus is always fun and enlightening. You have so much to give, dear Taurus, and apparently someone near you understands you and is as ready as you to make a formal commitment to be with you forever. Gemini (May 21 - June 20) In so many ways, November may bring your greatest moments in your career. Jupiter, the planet of good fortune, is now in his final hours of Pisces. Once you get to January 22, Jupiter will leave Pisces and your tenth house of fame a decade from now. Jupiter is the planet that brings good fortune and even miracles, and in November, many of the planets will click into position to support Jupiter and allow him to do his best work for you. Cancer (June 21 - July 22) The planets won't always behave sweetly as they will now, but while they act like perfect little angels this month, you should take full advantage. You could use a few lucky breaks, and that is precisely what you are likely to see happen this month. This month is a gift, pure and simple. It seems to come out of nowhere, but that's the beauty of life - it can always surprise you. On November 6, the new moon will take the prevailing energy of the new moon, Sun, Venus, and Mercury (all in Scorpio), as well as the energy of Jupiter and Uranus (both in Pisces), and package it and send it forward. Lucky you, this will all add up to an outstandingly romantic month, like one you've not seen in ages. Leo (July 23- August 22) Have you been trying to settle a housing or property question? In November you may get the most wonderful options you have found so far, and best of all, you be able to set plans in motion at long last. If you need the money to make those plans materialize, the funds will be available, even if you had problems getting the money you need before this month. You will start to see the pace build once you get to the gorgeous new moon, November 6. Virgo (August 23 - September 22) This month your razor sharp intelligence and ability to speak, write, edit, research, sell, persuade, and debate, along with your skills in other communication arts, will set you apart and help you reach goals in a very effective way. As the month opens, planets building in your third house will bring opportunity in all these areas. You will get a clue instantly about just how special this trend will be, almost the minute the month begins. Libra (September 23 - October 22) Lately you may have felt like the famous Tantalus from Greek mythology. Immortal Tantalus, having committed unspeakable crimes and having stolen food from the gods, sits in a pool of crystal clear water that recedes from him each time bends to drink. As he reaches for the delicious, ripe grapes hanging directly overhead, he finds that they are just a little too far for his fingers to grasp. No matter how hard he tries, the fruit eludes him, leaving him perpetually frustrated. He can see his goal, but he just can't touch it. Unlike Tantalus, you are not being punished for past sins, dear Libra. It has a much simpler cause. Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) What a glorious month lies ahead! Of all the months, November will be the sweetest. How wonderful that birthday month will be so rare and special for you. The Sun, Mercury, and Venus have by now moved into Scorpio, and with such loving planets behind you, you will feel confident and determined to succeed. The Sun will add to your presence and demeanor of authority, Mercury will sharpen your ability to articulate ideas, the new moon will open doors, and Venus will have you at your most sexy and attractive. Late November will be an unusually productive time, so get set to make your biggest initiations then, while you have so many planets pulling for you! Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) The planets are sending you two different messages as November opens. On one hand, you have Mars now in Sagittarius giving you remarkable favor and pushing you to go, go, go at great speed. Mars will make you impatient, but you need to resist moving so fast. Jupiter, your ruling planet, whose job it is to take good care of you, has been retrograde (and therefore asleep) since July 23. If you feel like nothing is happening fast enough for you, that would make sense, but that situation won't persist for long. Jupiter will turn on full power on November 18. Capricorn (December 22 - January 19) In October, you had a number of tough career decisions to make, and although Mars brought moments of levity, the overall message of last month was to buckle down and work. Now, sweet relief is at hand. November will be breezy and much more fun, and planets will work to get you out more and make new friends. Everything begins with the new moon, November 6. Aquarius (January 20 - February 18) Every once in awhile in life you reach a moment in time when everything you have done in your career over past months and years begins to crystallize into something very big and very exciting. You are reaching that point now in November, dear Aquarius. As the month begins, planets are migrating into your tenth house of fame and honors. Your first clue that your status and fortunes may be ready to rise substantially could come on November 4, when Mercury will be contacted by good fortune Jupiter. It's an excellent day for an interview or to get an email that makes you sit back and smile. The events of that day will hint at more to come. Pisces (February 19 - March 20) November's aspects can only be described as breathtakingly special and once-in-a-lifetime rare. As Jupiter and Uranus make their final run together through Pisces in your lifetime, they will set up a fireworks display to blaze the night sky, the likes of which you've never seen and may never see again. This will truly be an exciting month, and if you are wise and wait until November 18 to finalize an exciting deal, then all the potential you see will be realized to a greater extend than you ever thought possible. There's a lot to explain so let's start at the top, in early November. | |||||
"Last night, my boyfriend called out 'Tom' during sex. Tom is my father's name. How do I address this with him? Does this mean he's gay? Does this mean he's been sleeping with my father?" Mayhap he forgot thy name for but a moment. It is not uncommon for a male to do thus during moments of extreme passion. Should this be the case, then thou can alleviate thy fears about his sexuality and infidelity with thy father. Unfortunately, thou canst not be sure until these very same questions are asked of your boyfriend. So, without a moment of hesitation, put this paper down and ask him. "To spice up our sex life, my husband and I decided to play dress up. We both came out wearing a garter and a thong. What do you think that means? Do you think that's normal?" There are but a few things I find normal within this village. The question preceding this one is equally as abnormal, so it is beyond my place to judge what is considered normal within Lockewood. The only thing I can say, in regards to thy problem, with absolute certainty is that it only means both of you had the same idea within your heads. Beyond that, however, it could also mean that your husband has an affinity for dressing in clothing originally fashioned for women. "I used to wear braces. When I was fifteen, I became stuck to my first boyfriend's teeth. My current boyfriend has asked me to go down on him. How do I explain my fear of getting stuck?" Unless you wish to remain anonymous, thou has made thy concern known through this column. I would advise that thou put this paper down and speak to him upon this very moment about thy fears. Doing so will help alleviate them and will create an understanding between yourself and thy boyfriend. | |||||
Albus Dumbledore was seen in a very passionate embrace with a half-naked Elphias Doge. Now those are two men who aren’t afraid of showing their love in public. But what about Gellert Grindelwald? One has to wonder if he’s aware of his boyfriend’s love affair with his old friend. George Weasley has been reciting erotic poetry in the streets wearing a speedo. It’s lucky he’s as fit as he is - and that he has a wand. But one has to wonder if he’s trying to advertise his availability because he’s unsatisfied with his wife. I thought big boys were supposed to grow out of playing with toys. Proving himself to be exceptional like every Potter, James Sirius Potter likes to play dolls with eight year-old girls. I do hope I’m not the only one questioning how Ginny and Harry raised their children. That poor dear Audrey Weasley! She expected to find her husband, but it would appear Percy Weasley has no intention of honouring her. Will the dreadful man change his mind now that their daughter is in town? We’re waiting with baited breath to know! Speaking of unrequited love.. Good sources have it that Lily Luna Potter hates Salazar Slytherin with a passion, and the feeling is quite mutual. Does her passionate hate for the man stem from another passion? Could their differences in time and beliefs ever bend to allow a romance to burn its course? Harry may need to keep an eye on his daughter. Hate sex can be a wondrous experience for a young woman. Without her husband, Molly Weasley has an eye on all the men in Lockewood. It doesn’t seem to matter whether they’re single or taken or not at all interested. Who can blame the poor lush? Every woman has needs, and Molly is certainly no exception. After over a year without her husband, it would appear that Ginny Potter also has needs. I’m sure we all understand that; after all, there’s no denying that Harry Potter is a hunk. But I’m sure we can all agree that even married couples, particularly those with children in the village, should refrain from engaging in sexual activities in public. For shame, Mrs. Potter. Or is this an exhibitionist streak we’re only just starting to witness? Now that they have miraculously kept a canine alive for over a month, it seems Remus Lupin and Sirius Black are intent on adopting Helga Hufflepuff as their own. Are the two men ready to become fathers? Better yet, what would Teddy Lupin think if they did adopt a child? The poor boy is only just learning what it’s like to have a father, and now they want to replace him with a Founder! Though her son may be sobbing about it, Nymphadora Tonks doesn’t seem too put out about her husband and his life-style choices. Perhaps she has already found someone else to be her substitute? With a body that can change into any form, she certainly shouldn’t have any trouble finding someone new (and perhaps someone less furry) to bring home. Andromeda Tonks appears to be too busy disliking her grandson’s fiance, Victoire Weasley, to have noticed her daughter’s relationship problems. You’d think after marrying a muggleborn and turning her back on her family, she’d be a little more understanding - the poor dear’s only 1/8 Veela. No doubt she could find someone else. | |||||
As a seasoned Quidditch player, you know Oliver Wood has to be fit, and gifted with astounding stamina. What a fine, virile specimen! No woman (or man) could possibly go unsatisfied with this Wood in bed. And gentlemen, consider the extensive experience Mr. Wood has riding brooms! Raise the flag, Mr. Wood! Or lift it, just a little bit? Someone should stake their claim before someone else snatches him up! |