Jainie (spooky_cupcake) wrote in lilpinkfic, @ 2008-03-20 22:55:00 |
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Current mood: | busy |
Entry tags: | jenny, persuasion, shane, shenny, shenny fanfic |
Persuasion (3/?) - Mooring
Title: Persuasion
Chapter: 3 - Mooring
Summary: Jenny has a question for Shane.
Fandom: The L Word
Pairing: Shane/Jenny (AU; established relationship)
A silly little fic thing because I'm overtired and haven't slept and am still stressing about this L Word script competition.
Also inspired by a sort of in-joke caption thing somebody once did wherein Carmen from the show showed Shane a piece of fanfic and was talking about how great it was, though saying as an aside, 'who's that pink chainsaw, anyway?" The joke being that the pink chainsaw in question is supposedly Jenny herself, though that's actually my handle in that fandom and I'm quite notorious for my being a vociferous Shenny supporter. Might be one of those 'you had to be there' kind of moments. I'm not sure. Too tired to tell, at this rate.
So that was the inspiration for the original story, Persuasion. Heavens and muses forfend, though, that I ever get away with just writing a single story in a universe. They're always tugging at me and pestering me to indulge them just one more time, let them come out to play one more time, pleasepleaseplease. So - here we go again. What started out as a single story has now blossomed into a rather impromptu series and, to be honest, I actually really do like this universe. It's kind of nice to just kind of cut through all the bullshit and foot-dragging, cut to the chase and just write in a universe where Jenny and Shane are already a couple and have been for quite some time. Of course, there will be plenty of stuff that will need to be touched on and addressed and so forth - like how they wound up together, what happened to Paige, Carmen, Cherie, etc. - but we'll get to that eventually, I'm sure. Shyah, like they'd ever let me get away with NOT doing that. As if.
So, anyway -- enjoy this new little universe, 'cause I know I am. With luck, this is how things will wind up going on the show. Here's hopin'.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
"First so simple was the vow/ then the chorus sang about/ your shoulder/ the mooring for me/ like water..."
-Feist, "How My Heart Behaves"
“Shane...?”
“...hmm?”
“Are you awake?”
“... y-- yeah. Yeah, baby, 'm awake.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. Yes, Jenny... I'm awake. You okay?”
“No, no – yeah, I'm okay. I'm fine. I just... are you sure you're not sleeping?”
“Pretty sure, Jen. What is it?”
“Oh, I don't know. I was just... you know, thinking. About some things.”
“Things?”
“Yeah. You know. Umm. There was something I was thinking about asking you, but if you're too tired, it can wait...”
“Jen, no, I'm totally cool. What did you wanna ask?”
“Shane, when did you – when did you know...?”
“When did I 'know'?”
“Yeah. I – you know, I just... I was thinking about you. About us. And I... I was just wondering when you... knew?”
“Oh. Ohh... you mean...?”
“Yeah.”
“That's...”
“Oh, god, I'm being too intense. This is such a fucking stupid, intense question to be asking at three in the morning. I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Forget I asked it. Just forget it --”
“No, no. No, Jenny, don't be. I – it is a pretty intense question, though.”
“Yeah.”
“I... I knew for sure that day... you know, the day when I ... when I found you in ... the bathroom.”
“Really? That was it? That was when you knew?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you serious? Oh, my god, Shane. That's been – that was so long ago, now. You really knew then?”
“Yeah, I did.”
“Wow. But – okay, but – what... I mean, why did --? How? I mean...”
“I don't know. When I think about it, when I go back to that day in my head, it seems like all I can remember is seeing it... your blood. All over and I --”
“Oh... Shane...”
“... that's pretty much all I remember. I ... when I think about it now, it's like... everything feels like this blur, you know? And all I remember is the blood and...”
“And what? Shane?”
“And how – how scared I was. I mean, I – I didn't know how to fix it. I couldn't ... I couldn't fix it and for just a second... for just a second, when I first came in, I thought you'd... really done it, you know? And ... and all I could think was... what am I gonna do? What am I gonna do without her?”
“Stop. You did? Really?”
“Yeah, I did. In my head, it's like I was seeing it, you know? Imagining... what it would be like, not having you there. Not seeing your light on under your door 'cause you were up late reading ever again and not listening to the sound of your fingers on the keyboard when you're writing... not... not getting to hug you or kiss you or smell your perfume in all the rooms in the house and the house being empty and it just being me. I didn't... I didn't like it. I didn't like thinking about you not being there.”
“Ahh, fuck...”
“Then I saw that you hadn't... you hadn't really done it and I was still scared and I still couldn't fix it, but you were there and I... I was so glad. I was so happy that you were still there and I could still hold you. I knew as long as I – as long as I could do that, it would be okay.”
“Oh, god. Oh, my god... Shane...”
“And then seeing you, coming home, looking so – so happy again... I never said – I never told you how much I missed you, but...”
“I knew. I know you'd missed me. I missed you, too. I missed you so fucking much when I was gone.”
“It felt so good, seeing you and... and having you in my arms again. I... didn't realize how much I'd really missed that until you were there again.”
“I tried to -- you know, that night, I tried to play it totally cool and say hi to everybody and hug everyone and 'how have you been?' All like that, you know?”
“Mmhm.”
“It was so good to get back and it was sweet of all of you to have that dinner party for me, but you wanna know something? All I can remember about that night was the way I just... couldn't stop looking at you.”
“You... really?”
“Yeah. It felt good to be near you again. It finally felt like I was really home, standing next to you.”
“Jenny...”
“And I think that's why I wasn't paying as much attention to Moira as I should have been that night and... why she left. Being back, being close to you again, I -- I got tangled up in that. I got swept up in it. Because I -- I wanted you to look at me the way I was looking at you. I wanted you to tell me how pretty I looked --”
“I wanted to. You looked... god, so beautiful that night.”
“And I wanted your arms to be around me instead of Carmen. When you came home and I jumped into your arms, I just... I had, like, these flashes of you carrying me off, taking me inside to your room so that we could just lay down and just be together like that. Fuck the party, fuck the dinner, I just wanted you to hold onto me and not let me go. It felt so fucking incredible, being in your arms like that. I love the way you hold me.”
“You do?”
“Mmmhmm.”
“Well, that's... that's good to know.”
“Yeah.”
“So I guess I should keep holding you, then.”
“Yes, please. Always and always and always...”
“I can do that.”