Jadyn Cole (queen_of_cups) wrote in light_of_may, @ 2011-01-10 21:45:00 |
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Entry tags: | #solo, 2009-08-06, jadyn |
I just can't find the strength to pull you up and keep you taut
Who: Jadyn and Cecil (NPC)
Where: The river by her house
When: Nighttime
It had been a while since Jadyn got to spend time with Cecil during the full moon. With her luck, it was always Michael who had possession of their child. It was probably better that way, seeing that he was the were between the two of them. Jadyn couldn't help little Cecil out with his powers, but she could at least be a source of entertainment. There was a box filled with kitty toys just for her son and he was starting to take a liking to the feather on a stick. Jadyn had brought them outside to the river that ran by her house, kicking off her shoes and sat by the edge of it to dip her feet into.
A relaxed sigh escaped her lips, leaning her head back to eye the full moon hanging in the night sky. It had finally stopped raining. Such a shame. Tomorrow Cecil wouldn't be with her and instead return to Michael. Jadyn wanted to cry, but instead not a single tear came out. She had enough crying lately. She hated being so weak.
Cecil growled as he pounced his mother, catching Jadyn off guard. She blinked her brown eyes and looked over to see the baby tiger wriggling about, obviously wanting attention. This always brought a smile to her face. "Hey you," she picked Cecil up, watching him squirm some more before cuddling him. His tail swished about like crazy, nuzzling his mother back. It was nice to have someone return the sentiment. It made her realize she was doing a somewhat decent job at being a mother. Having to split Cecil between herself and Michael was even harder. Cecil didn't deserve that. He was still too young to understand why mommy and daddy weren't living together.
It made Jadyn remember her childhood and how her father was almost never around. When he was, the dark-haired girl was nothing but giggles and smiles. He was the sunshine in her world. But her mother was sadistic and foul, never showing a drop of love to her daughter. Jadyn didn't want to be like that. Never. Cecil didn't deserve that. He deserved two loving parents who would always be there for him. Jadyn's had eventually died before she was 10, leaving her to figure out life on her own. She wished that upon no one.
But no matter what, she couldn't give Cecil the perfect family. Jadyn and Michael could never work out. The child was a mistake in her eyes. The aftermath of a drunk Halloween party in Salem. She still wished she was back home on the east coast, sailing her boats, working in her aunt's shop... Sally was probably proud of her niece taking ownership of Aeaea. Though she couldn't turn back time. She couldn't give up Cecil now. She refused to turn into her mother.
Though that didn't mean she stopped thinking about other possibilities. She knew if she were to have a kid on her own free will, it would have been with no one else but Kevin. She remembered the day they met, how their sailboats crashed into each others. How they just laughed it off and ended up meeting at a bar later that night. She remembered seeing him constantly on the docks, laughing with him, teasing him... falling in love with him. She remembered long bike rides to Maine just to see his face. She remembered those lone nights at sea on his boat, wrapped up in his arms with his lips against her hot skin. She remembered crying, devastated when he told her they couldn't be together, that it was against his family's wishes. All she wanted was to run away with him. She had offered it so many times, but he never gave in. She hoped that when she rode off on her bike, that he would have chased after her, sweep her into his arms, and never let go.
But he did let go. He was dead and gone and nothing would change that. A single tear rolled down Jadyn's cheek while she held Cecil close. If Kevin was here, he'd know what to do. He would make everything better. He would love her regardless of what was going on and remind her every day there was something worth living for. Though right now, the only thing keeping her alive was Cecil.
"I'll never let you go," she reminded Cecil with a murmur. "Never."