Grant Matthews (_eyeofthetiger) wrote in light_of_may, @ 2010-12-03 22:05:00 |
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Entry tags: | 2009-08-04 |
My worst pains are words I cannot say
Who: Grant and Raya
Where: the bar where Grant works
When: late evening?
It was the end of a long shift, and Raya just wanted a drink and to chill out for a while. She’d gone for a long run in dog form the day before despite the rain, but one day of cleaning the mud out of her carpet in a week was more than enough. So she stayed herself and drove to a place one of the guys at the precinct had shown her. The rain meant that she was in her car rather than on her bike, too, which made her a little cranky and stir crazy. Maybe it would be more like two drinks, rather than one.
When she walked into the bar, she seemed to shake most of the water off her leather jacket without much trouble, though her hair frizzed out a little from the humidity. The perils of wearing it down. She wove easily through the tables filled with people trying to stay out of the rain and made her way to the bar, waving at a couple of people she knew in the back on her way. The bartenders were busy when she got there, so Raya grabbed a pretzel from the nearest dish and popped it into her mouth while she waited.
Tending bar was not exactly Grant’s idea of the perfect job. Dealing with drunks wasn’t the most fun thing when you were out on the town yourself, but dealing with them every night because you were paid to wasn’t much better. It wasn’t like he was making anywhere near what he used to, either, but it was paying rent and for that, Grant couldn’t bitch. He’d been working at Anywhere But Here long enough to start to know a few of the regulars and what they drank, but the woman who came in and took a seat was new to him - or so he thought.
Passing off a beer, he made his way over to her, wiping his hands on a bar towel. “Hey, what can I...” The scent caught him around the same time her face registered with him. It couldn’t be. Raya, here? His nose crinkled a bit, because the last time he’d seen his long-lost ex, she most certainly didn’t smell like a dog.
Raya had caught the scent of some kind of large cat when she’d come in, but, well, that wasn’t exactly unusual in Scarlet Oak. She and whoever the cat was weren’t even the only two weres in the room. With the upcoming events at the university - if the weather didn’t wash them all out, that is - it was understandable. It was only while she was staring somewhat open-mouthed at the all too familiar, even after more than ten years, bartender that she realized that the cat in question was him.
Her reaction to seeing him couldn’t do anything but confirm the fact that it was her. Not that it could be anyone else with a birthmark in her eye like Raya’s and the same, slightly annoying dimples that had a habit of showing themselves even when she wasn’t actually smiling. Like now, when she was too busy gaping like a fish to get out anything more than “Grant?”
If he had any doubt in his mind, hearing her say his name washed the last of it away. Grant couldn’t remember the last time he’d actually talked to Raya. Right before college, maybe? That didn’t mean he hadn’t thought about her off and on, because he did. Often. Not that he actually told anyone that, because it was Grant and he didn’t talk about that with anyone. Completely forgetting about the fact that he was a bartender and she was a customer and he was supposed to ask her what she wanted to drink, he stopped in front of her, resting his hands on the edge of the bar.
“Raya,” he said back, wanting to come around and give her a hug, ask her what the hell was going on, a million and one other things that ran through his head in that moment. How was she even in Michigan? He didn’t even know she ever came back to the States. “Hi.” He chuckled, rubbing at one of his eyes. It didn’t help that everything about her was broadcasting dog and he knew she would have told him if she was a born were. They used to be that close.
“Hey.” Her response was completely automatic, and she quickly realized how ridiculous it was, how completely inadequate, and smiled. Then laughed and leaned forward on her elbows on the bar. “What the hell are you doing here?” It was kind of a stupid question, but she was still too flabbergasted to get beyond that. He looked...different, but the same, and it was a little disorienting. Mostly she was just glad that she hadn’t blurted out, “When the hell did you get bitten?” because, well, outing someone as a were could be dangerous business, even these days.
“And more importantly, when did you get so old?” she teased, her last memory of him when they were not long past seventeen. Raya hadn’t actually thought that she’d ever see Grant again, much as that pained her after he’d been the biggest part of her life in her first stint in the States. But apparently the universe had plans of its own that didn’t include waiting to see if they’d show up for their next high school reunion. Probably because she wouldn’t, after finishing off her last year of schooling in Israel.
When Raya laughed, some of that tension left Grant, too. She used to be his closest friend in the entire world, why should he be awkward around her? There was, of course, the fact that he hadn’t seen her since before Robbie was born, since before he met Sabrina, and there was a lot going on in his life that he’d have to tell her at some point. And he wanted to know why she smelled like a dog too, seeing as she had to know he was a tiger by now - or at least, some form of cat. You couldn’t exactly hide it from another were. “Been here a few months,” he said. “Granted, it’s not the most luxury filled job in the world, but it’ll do for the moment.” Because he couldn’t get a real job, not for lack of trying. “My parents live in Ann Arbor now, so we moved out here to be closer to them.”
Grant held up one finger. “Hey now. Let us not forget, you are older than me.” Not by much, but still, older. Grant knew the years were weighing on him, too. To be fair, he’d been dealing with a lot in the last few years, and he didn’t doubt it showed on his face. Not that he liked that fact, but it was what it was, no use in fighting it.
There were roughly seven million things she wanted to ask him, like how he’d ended up a bartender, or why he seemed to be a cat, of all the infernal things he could get turned into. Also up there on the list of questions was whether he hated her for how things had ended and if he ever thought about her, but really, those seemed a little advanced for the first five minutes of conversation after over a decade of silence. Besides, in the end, the most pertinent question at the moment seemed to be “Who’s ‘we?’” Of course the second she asked she wasn’t sure that she wanted to know the answer. Because of course it would be his girlfriend, or his wife, and wouldn’t that just be awkward.
Not that she would be upset. Or jealous. Of course not. But if he was going to be all settled and happy - and okay, he didn’t exactly look it, and he didn’t have a ring on his finger so maybe it wasn’t a done deal - then he was so not getting away with calling her old. Even if she’d done it first. “And perhaps by the time we’re fifty, you’ll finally catch up in the maturity department.” Granted it was hard to take that statement seriously when she followed it by sticking her tongue out at him briefly.
There was a lot Grant wanted to ask, too. How she’d been bitten, what she was up to, all sorts of things. But she got to the punch first and Grant would never lie to her - it wasn’t his way. “Me and my son,” he said. He was 30 years old; it wasn’t completely out there that he’d have a kid by now, right? “His name’s Robbie. My parents, you know ‘em, they’re pretty overjoyed to have him around more.” His parents were happy to have Grant back too, but it was nice to have babysitters who lived close by and who didn’t charge him an arm and a leg. “What about you? I thought you might still be in Israel.” All these years, and Grant hadn’t heard a thing from her until now.
Grant wasn’t settled. Grant wasn’t happy, either. He was surviving from one day until the next, and had been for most of the last three years. And he did have his wedding band on him, on a chain around his neck. “Says you,” he said, rolling his eyes at her sticking out her tongue. He’d almost forgotten how it felt to be around Raya, like both of them didn’t have to think as much about what they were doing. They could just be. Grant needed a little bit of that right now.
Grant had a son. Grant had a son. It was kind of amazing and terrifying all at once. But she remembered Grant’s parents well, and she could totally see how psyched they’d be to have a grandson. “Wow. I bet he’s a cute kid.” She could remember when Grant was a kid and, well, he’d been adorable, at least in her completely biased opinion. Then he asked about what she’d been doing, and she did her best to give him the short version.
“I did five years there in the army - three combat, two reserve - and moved here when I got out. My father teaches at the med school at the university, so I moved in with them for a few months. Did the police academy, and I’ve been a cop since,” she told him with a little shrug, as if it was obvious she’d end up exactly where she was. “Transferred from a city precinct out here about a month ago.” Raya left out the part about her unit getting killed; it was something she hadn’t really talked to anyone about, other than the shrink the police department had required, and a bar wasn’t really the place to start.
“He is. He’s been good, too, last couple years haven’t exactly been a cakewalk.” There were a lot of things he hadn’t exactly brought up with Robbie yet, like the fact that the were that killed his mother was the reason why his dad was a tiger now. Robbie just thought it was cool that Grant could turn into something “awesome,” as he put it. At least he’d gotten past the part where he was constantly asking to see his tiger form every five minutes.
Grant nodded, reaching behind him to grab two beers, holding one up as his way of offering it to her. Sooner or later the subject of Robbie’s mom was going to come up and he’d feel better talking about Sabrina with alcohol in hand. He was still trying to wrap his mind around Raya being in the army, though the cop part didn’t surprise him as much, seeing as his mother had been one, too. “I imagine you’re damn good at it, too,” he said, cracking open his beer. Thank god it was slow, otherwise he couldn’t have imagined trying to have this conversation. “Just tell me you’re not in homicide and I’ll sleep a little better tonight. Don’t keep me up worrying over you, okay?”
“Ain’t that the truth.” Raya loved being a were, there was no doubt about that, but that didn’t make the last few years easy by any stretch of the imagination. Being turned, damn near killing her sister, actually killing her sister’s boyfriend...yeah, there were issues there. “Though I have a hard time picturing you producing anything but a good kid. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, right?” she offered with a grin. She didn’t hesitate to take the beer, because even with them sticking to the seemingly easy and obvious questions, things were not uncomplicated. Beer was good. Beer would maybe shut up her inner puppy for more than a few seconds at a time.
“I’m awesome at it, of course.” Modest she was not. And no, Raya wasn’t really the military type, but she wasn’t one to shirk her duties, either. Service was compulsory in Israel, and Raya knew that she could do well in an active combat unit, so that’s what she’d joined. Her mother had been in the Israeli Army before her and her sister had after her; it was a good family tradition. And it gave her a strong connection to her mother’s connection that she’d never really felt before enlisting. “Not homicide,” she reassured him with a grin. “If I wanted to keep you up at night, it wouldn’t be with worrying.” Hey, there was no rule against flirting. “Of course you might not think that narcotics is any better, but it’s not homicide.” It was probably more dangerous, actually, but she didn’t have to mention that part.
“You have no idea.” Or maybe she did, because she’d been turned too and Grant found it hard to imagine a situation that made someone chose this. He could deal with the full moons, and he would, because he had to. His story wasn’t a pretty one, and he was hoping Raya’s had to be better than his. He chuckled, “Something like that. Hold on a sec, you want to see a picture?” Grant’s phone wasn’t anything all that special, but it did have a camera in it, and he dug it out of his pocket until he found a good one. “That’s Robbie,” he said, passing the phone over.
It had been a long time since Grant laughed. The fact that he was smiling as much as he was around Raya was a good sign, something he definitely needed. “I will remember that,” he said. “My mom was a homicide detective, remember? I remember a thing or two about what that was like.” Donna Matthews was retired now, finally. She might not be as happy when she wasn’t part of the force anymore, but Grant had been relieved. He’d just transfer that worry to Raya, now. He raised an eyebrow at her comment, curious to ask her what she would keep him up with, but he didn’t say it. They weren’t teenagers anymore, after all - but flirting was damn nice. Grant took a sip of his beer, leaning towards her a little. “You’re right, still dangerous.”
The way he said that made her want to hug him, hard, but with the bar in the way and other people around it made that a little difficult. Then again, at least she had run into him while not on duty. She couldn’t imagine seeing him and having to go off and arrest someone instead of hanging around to talk. “Is that even a question?” she replied when he offered to show her a picture of Robbie. Of course she wanted to see his kid. Raya took his phone from him and grinned. “He totally looks like mini-you,” she said approvingly. Instead of handing his phone back right away, she navigated away from the picture and found his contacts instead, adding herself and all her information, leaning back while she did so he couldn’t snatch it back before she finished.
Raya handed it back with a not-quite innocent grin and took a long sip from her beer. “Faster than dialing 9-1-1,” she assured him. She was joking, but that didn’t make it any less true that she would absolutely go running if he called her for help. And she could run damn fast since becoming a were, human form or not. “Still dangerous, true, though I’m pretty hard to kill these days.” Because people had certainly tried. Then again, the only time someone had really gotten close to succeeding since she’d become a cop had nothing at all to do with the uniform.
Had he not been working, then yes, he would have hugged her too. Even now he was trying hard not to hang onto her as it was, because it had been a hell of a long time since he’d seen her and though he’d never say the words out loud, he’d missed her. Grant always missed her. “Thanks,” he said, knowing Robbie had gotten Sabrina’s eyes, but that was something you couldn’t really tell from that small a picture. He craned his neck to see what she was doing, smirking when he realized she was giving him her number. Good thing she did, because there wasn’t a way in hell she was leaving the bar without doing so.
“Cuts out the middleman, I like that,” he said. His family had always been connected when it came to the police, so he knew who to call if he had to, but likely, knowing Raya was here? Yes, she’d get that phone call. Granted, it also might be a phone call to bail him out of jail for beating the crap out of his former father-in-law, but that was neither here nor there. Then, he held out one hand. “Your phone, give it to me. Fair’s fair, after all.” Her comment about being hard to kill made him look away for a moment. He didn’t want to think about that. He just found out she was here, he was not going to even joke about her dying.
Even before he looked away, she knew it was a stupid joke. She wouldn’t have handled it well coming from someone else, not after all the people she’d lost. It was just hard, finding that line between putting on a brave face and going too far. Considering what they both were, she probably should have played it safe. Not that it wasn’t true - she’d survived a lot, both before and after becoming a were - but that kind of thing could wait until later. Raya pulled out her phone and put it in his hand, though she didn’t pull hers away. Instead she wrapped both her hands around his and leaned in so the rest of the people at the bar couldn’t hear.
“Hey. I’m sorry.” She should have known better than to joke about it; she knew how much he’d worried about his mom when they were kids. “I promise I’m careful. I’m good at what I do and the others have my back.” She’d been more confident when those others had been her pack, both because of the pack bond they had and because she knew the weres in her unit were stronger, faster, and harder to kill. But she still trusted the people she worked with now to back her up and save her ass if it needed saving. “Look, you want to get out of here?” Yeah, he was working, but the beauty of being a cop was that it would be hard for anyone to call her out on a lie about needing to talk to him about official business.
It wasn’t Raya’s fault she’d struck a nerve. Death had been a touchy subject with Grant for a while now and seeing as they hadn’t talked in forever, how was she to know? Hell, Grant had yet to tell her he’d been married, much less what he’d lost. He was working his way up to that, someday. He didn’t let her hands go either, his other hand coming up to cover hers. Yes, there was a lot they had to talk about, but he was grateful she was here.
“Thanks, for that,” he murmured softly. “Don’t worry, I’m fine.” As fine as Grant ever was, anyway. It wouldn’t stop him from worrying about Raya and her job, just like he worried about his mother growing up. Sometimes you didn’t pick the job, the job picked you. Grant could understand that. He only let her go to look around the bar once, seeing that it was still quiet. “Yeah, I do.” He flagged down the other guy tending bar to tell him he was taking a break, and then came out behind the bar, Raya’s phone still in hand. When he moved, the bottom edge of his scar was visible underneath the sleeve of his tee. Another discussion that was going to happen sooner rather than later.
A less observant person might have missed the scar, but Raya certainly didn’t. They’d both grown up and they both had scars, internal and external, that was for sure. Once he came out from behind the bar, she stepped into place next to him as he walked, and she had to consciously override the instinct to take his hand. It had been a very long time since she’d last done that, but that didn’t make the urge any less strong. Raining or not, she led them outside, trusting the building’s awning to keep them from actually getting wet. Though if that didn’t work, there was always her car. But inside her car it would be difficult to do what she did next, which was hug him tightly, overwhelming cat smell be damned.
It felt different than it had when they were teenagers. They were both older, bigger, stronger. But he was still the first guy she’d ever loved, the first she’d ever a lot of things, actually. Grant being there almost gave her hope that maybe the universe was making up for some of the shit that she’d been through lately by giving her back someone she’d stupidly let drift out of her life. She couldn’t take back her first full moon, she couldn’t bring back the pack members she’d lost, but she could do her best to make things right with Grant. “I’m glad you’re here,” she told him, both because it was true and in case he worried that she wasn’t. She’d been the one to break it off, after all. “Even if you smell like litterbox,” she lied, mouth quirking up at the corners.
He hadn’t been prepared to see Raya again, this was true. He also hadn’t been prepared for how it felt to be close to her again, to be near but not together, like they’d been before she’d left. In a flash he saw that moment in the airport all over again and he tried hard not to think about it. Those days were gone now, and they weren’t the same people they were then. At least, Grant wasn’t. Fatherhood and becoming a were had changed him. He couldn’t say for sure if it was for the better or not.
The moment they were outside, Grant returned that hug with full force, not so worried about breaking her seeing as she was a were too. He’d been through too much in the last few years to turn this away, not when both of them knew she’d already been let into his life before. Grant could be stubborn, but he was glad Raya was here. “I missed you,” he said, resting his head against hers, not really letting her go. “Even if you smell like wet dog.” The teasing tone to his voice only lasted a second, “When did that happen?”
Raya was more than happy to let him hold onto her. There weren’t a lot of people around anymore that she could just hang on to; she’d always been a tactile person, but since she was bitten she’d become even more so. She smiled into his shoulder when he said he’d missed her, even as it brought up a wave of guilt. Even if she still believed that she’d made the right decision to break it off, it hurt to be reminded of it and how it at all turned out. She’d missed him too, even if she often pushed that feeling away because it felt like she had no right to.
“Three years ago,” she answered quietly, though it was strangely easy to admit. “My narcotics unit up in the city went out on a raid, and we got attacked by a pack of dogs. We lost a couple of guys, but didn’t realize what had really happened. We thought it was shell shock or PTSD or...Well, your mind doesn’t exactly jump to mythological creature, you know?” Raya gave a little shrug. “Next full moon rolled around and we figured out pretty quickly that we had almost a whole unit full of dogs. Our group photos started looking like pound pictures.”
Raya pulling away right now likely would have hurt Grant more, truth be told. He wasn’t like this with just anyone, but she was Raya. This had always felt right to him, had since before they were dating. So what if there were several years and a million different moments that happened between now and then? Grant would not deny that knowing she was around - knowing she was nearby, even - made him feel better. They’d work their way up to the rest of it.
“Three years.” Grant blew out a breath. They’d even been turned into a were around the same time. Fate really was a bitch. One of his hands moved up to her hair without even thinking about it, toying a little with the strands. “No one thinks of that. Unless they’ve got some inside knowledge or something. I didn’t know anything about this, either.” Not until it was too late, and thank god his son hadn’t been around him for his first full moon. Grant was always grateful for that. “At least you weren’t alone when it happened, you had your unit to fall back on.”
She’d love to meet some born weres, get their perspective on it all, but truth was she mostly only knew bittens like her. On the one hand, it was great, because they all had war stories to share, but most of them weren’t as happy to be what they were as Raya was. “Yeah, I really lucked out. Our captain backed us up, the ones who weren’t bitten took all the full moon shifts, and we had a ready-made set of cages ready and waiting for us.” Her voice didn’t sound nearly as psyched about that as it usually would, whether out of deference to Grant and what he might of gone through or just missing her pack, she wasn’t sure.
“They’re a good pack. They were a good pack,” she corrected herself, still having to get used to the past tense. Raya held on to Grant a little tighter, fingers curling in the back of his shirt. Thinking about losing her pack, realizing that it was only fate and coincidence that meant she had Grant around instead of him staying lost to her forever - it was a little much to take. “I miss them.” She was usually so good about keeping her brave face on, but something about Grant made it slip. “And I missed you. Remind me to never move anywhere without throwing you and Robbie over my shoulder and taking you with, okay?” He’d been her one constant once, and she needed that again.
Really, it depended on the day, how happy Grant was. He’d never be happy about losing Sabrina, that his son didn’t have a mother around. He didn’t mind being a tiger, and actually enjoyed shifting into his were form, but the rest of it he could do without. The moons weren’t something he was ever going to look forward to. “I built my own cage,” he said. “Probably doesn’t surprise you at all, but I had to do it. Couldn’t trust anyone else with it.” Grant knew it was solid, and he knew it had been properly disassembled and reconstructed upon his arrival in Scarlet Oak. He used to be an architect; he knew how to do that, and do it well.
“You lost someone, too.” Her pack. What was that like, for a dog? Tigers were something of lone creatures, so maybe that was why his first reaction to the whole thing had been to cut himself off and pull away from those around him. His in-laws were trying to use that against him, now. “You know, once Robbie figures out you can become a dog too, he’ll ask you to shift all the time like he does with me. We might not mind that so much.” Because like hell he was going to let Raya walk out of his life again. He hadn’t been able to stop her before, but things were different now.
Raya never liked the full moons, but she’d never hated them either, or at least she hadn’t until she’d lost her pack. It was one thing to be locked up near the people you cared about, even while a mindless animal, and be able to crack jokes beforehand and go out to breakfast afterward. But it was different having to go it alone. Sure, there were other weres in the Scarlet Oak PD, but it wasn’t the same. Her partner and her pack leader had both died in the hunter ambush, along with almost everyone else in the pack, and she certainly hadn’t rebuilt that group, if she even could. Raya had her doubts.
It made sense that he’d built his own cage. If she hadn’t had her pack and her unit to reassure her that the cells they’d used would hold up and if she’d actually been able to build one, she probably would have done the same thing. Grant was too good a person to risk hurting anyone else. But he’d lost someone too, and her detective mind quickly put two and two together. “Robbie’s mom?” No wonder he hadn’t liked her joking about dying. It made her want to hug the both of them, hard, and do whatever she could to make it better. Especially if that meant shifting. “You got it,” she promised Grant, and Robbie by proxy. “I’ve been looking for someone to play catch with, anyway.”
Maybe the moons would be a little bit different now that someone else knew what was going on with him. His mother had already gone through a calendar, marked off each one and told him that they’d have Robbie every single time, so he didn’t have to worry about his son getting hurt. Either way he’d still be a monster, but knowing he didn’t have to explain why he looked like he’d just participated in Fight Club when he picked his son up the next morning would be nice. Hell, even being able to talk about this was a relief.
He reached up and tugged his necklace out from underneath his shirt, showing her the wedding band hanging off its chain. “Yeah. Three years ago. If she’d have made it, she would’ve been some form of cat, like me.” Talking about Sabrina still wasn’t easy, and it never would be. But it was Raya, he didn’t hide things from her. She deserved to know that he’d been married once. “I’m a tiger, by the way. Didn’t know if you could tell or not.” All this time, and he still hadn’t let her go. “I want you to meet him, Robbie. He’ll probably love you. Especially if you play catch with him.”
“Shit, Grant. I’m sorry.” She’d suspected, of course; if he had a kid, he’d likely had a wife at some point. Still, suspecting was one thing, and knowing for sure was another. It wasn’t entirely unlike being punched in the gut, but that was why Raya had broken it off with him, right? So he could have a chance at being with someone in his own country, someone who didn’t have two years minimum of military service ahead of her and no way of knowing how often she’d be able to call, or write, or visit. When all was said and done, she was in Israel for six years, and she didn’t think they could make it through that, no matter how much she loved him. Or how much he’d loved her, since she knew he’d loved her better, if not more. Better than she’d deserved, probably.
“I couldn’t tell,” she admitted. “Knew it was something I haven’t run into before, but even the best nose can’t identify something it’s never smelled before.” And her nose was good. Being a scenthound was great like that. Helpful, too, when working in narcotics. “And of course I’ll meet him. Anytime.” He was Grant’s, and Grant wanted her to. End of story. “It’s a little weird asking people our age to play. They tend to let their minds run straight to the gutter,” she joked, rolling her eyes playfully even if she was pressed so close that he couldn’t see it.
Grant just nodded, not able to talk for a moment. No, he hadn’t intended on marrying Sabrina when he first met her. Yes, they’d been off and on for a couple years before Robbie came around. But she’d been his wife, damn it, and he hadn’t wanted to be alone like he’d been when Raya left him. Perhaps it wasn’t the best way of moving on, but he’d been trying, and he’d been successful. And while Sabrina was gone forever, Raya was still here. Raya he could fix things with. Raya he’d always been willing to wait for, since he’d always thought she was worth it. She still was.
“To be fair, I could only tell you were a dog,” he said. “I haven’t come across another tiger or anything like that yet, but I think it’s safe to say I’m still going to be bigger than you.” Bengal tigers weren’t exactly small, after all, and at least he had the reassurance that he hadn’t been turned into a prissy house cat. Hell no, Grant’s were form was badass, truth be told. “I’d like that.” And he would, a way of bridging two parts of his life together. Her comment made him smile, chuckling softly in her ear. “Thank god he’s still young enough not to think like that,” he murmured. He was not looking forward to raising a teenager on his own, but Grant had a while before Robbie was that old.
“It’s okay. I’m a breed you’ve never heard of anyway,” she said with a small laugh. They were very rare in the States, seeing as they were a type of Portuguese hunting dog. And the smaller ones were more common than the large breed that she was. “But if I’m honest, I’m a little conflicted here. On the one hand, you are a cat and therefore my mortal enemy. On the other, I kind of want to bounce and go, ‘Ooh! Giant kitty!’” Raya turned her head just enough to grin up at him. Besides, he might be bigger than her, and probably stronger, but she was undoubtedly faster. It all evened out in the end. “Should I worry about having to come and rescue you up a tree? I know people in the fire department, after all.”
Raya tried picturing him as a tiger and weirdly, she could see it. Except for the not-so-inner dog protesting that he should clearly be canine rather than feline. But it fit him. Better than a tiny white Pomeranian fit Ben, at any rate (though clearly dogs were superior). “Though hey, at least no one’s tried to sell you to the circus or a magic show, right?”
“Now you have to tell me what breed.” Not that he wouldn’t figure it out for himself, knowing they’d shift together at some point, but that was neither here nor there. Raya probably wouldn’t expect him to shift into a white tiger, either, but it worked for Grant, and that was all that mattered. “I do not get stuck in trees!” he defended, laughing. How long had it been since someone - besides his son - gave him a smile like that? “I don’t think you and I could ever be mortal enemies, by the way. I can deal with the fact that you smell weird if it means we get to hang out.”
Grant had read somewhere after the Light of May that a lot of weres, bittens anyway, got forms that matched up with their personalities. Hearing that, and knowing he’d been bitten by a feline were, a tiger made sense for him. And Raya being a dog, that worked too, with her personality, at least how she’d been when they were growing up. “Oh god. I’m surprised no one’s tried to drag me back to the zoo or something when they see me out for a run.” Probably because they were too scared to piss off a tiger.
“I’m a Portuguese Podengo Grande,” she told him, waiting for his inevitable confession that he didn’t know what those looked like. Even Raya had had to look it up to confirm that she was one after she’d been bitten. She hadn’t exactly lived in the areas of Portugal in her five years there where the hunting dogs had been prevalent. Raya was pretty firmly a city girl, no matter which country she lived in. “And I believe you! Though that’s mostly because I have a feeling that you’d break more tree branches than could hold you.” Could tigers even climb trees? She knew some species of cat could, obviously, but tigers? If only she could look it up on wikipedia without actually having to let go of Grant. Oh well, it could wait.
“Though what is this ‘if’ you speak of? Like you have a chance in hell of avoiding me.” Hell, it was questionable that they’d manage to get a foot of space in between them at any point in the next hour, let alone manage to avoid each other entirely. “I demand embarrassing recollections of the shit we got up to as kids and possible stockpiling of incriminating information to tell your kid when he’s older.” Hey, what good was it knowing people with children if you didn’t get to mortify them and/or their children? “And I’m a little bit tempted to call up my partner and tell him that there’s a tiger on the loose that escaped from the zoo and see him try to figure out how to catch you.” Okay, a lot tempted.
He tilted his head to the side a little. “Yep, you’re right, not one I know.” Grant would learn, though. How could he go without looking up what breed of dog one of his oldest friends had been turned into? He’d do that when he got home from picking up Robbie, after putting his son to bed and was finally winding down for the evening. Grant chuckled, “I’d break them, I’m sure. I haven’t really tried to climb, though. Think I like keeping my feet on the ground.” Also, because it was freaking hard to go unnoticed when you were a big white tiger hanging out in a tiny oak tree. Grant wasn’t exactly advertising the fact that he was a were, and he wasn’t going to start doing so now.
“Why would I want to avoid you?” In case Raya hadn’t noticed, Grant was still holding her. His or not, she wasn’t going anywhere. There was, of course, the fact that he was technically working, but he had a little leeway here. And hopefully she didn’t have to rush out after this and could hang out for a good while longer, Grant wasn’t the kind of guy to let all this drop after bringing it up. He shook his head, “Thank god Rob’s still young enough not to know to use most of that against me yet.” Yet being the key word here. He just raised an eyebrow at Raya, the kind that said, You wouldn’t dare.
“Good. I can climb as a person well enough, but as a dog? My paws aren’t built that way.” She could go the opposite way, down instead of up, and dig quite well, not that it did her any good against trees. Though she had the advantage of being fairly inconspicuous. Raya might be a breed that was rare in the States and that most people had probably never seen before, it was still easy to run around town as a dog without any problems - and she usually got a few pets or treats out of it, too. She was out as a were, really out, considering all the news coverage of what had happened when she was with the Ann Arbor PD, but that didn’t mean that everyone in Scarlet Oak knew what she was. And she certainly wouldn’t risk Grant’s safety by outing him.
Raya could think of quite a few reasons Grant might want to avoid her, actually. He could have still been bitter over her breaking up with him. He could have gotten over it so thoroughly that he just didn’t care one way or the other about her. She could go on, but she cut the train of thought off with a shrug. “Just saying, that should be a when we hang out, not an if.” And, okay, she probably didn’t have to be so insistent about it since he clearly agreed, but she could use more people she could count on in her life. “And Robbie will be older soon enough,” she added with a cheeky grin. Hey, looking at her like that was practically a dare, and Raya did not back down from dares.
“I wouldn’t make you climb as a dog. As a person, I can’t make any promises.” Grant grinned, trying to imagine her as a dog, and he could see it, even if he didn’t know the specifics of the breed offhand. Soon, he would. And soon they’d have to shift at the same time, just because. They might not be the same kind of were, but there was another connection between the two of them, the fact that they were both bittens. With the moon coming up, something good to look forward to was definitely a good thing. Grant was just waiting to see what his in-laws would try to pull this month.
A younger Grant had been bitter, yes. That side of him was currently beaten by the part of him that was genuinely happy to see her. So long as she didn’t tell him she was leaving again in the morning, and this was a one-time-only thing, he was good. He really couldn’t handle having her back in his life again only to walk right out of it just as quickly. “When it is, you just let me know when,” he said, grinning. “And don’t remind me.” Yes, it was a dare, and he didn’t expect her to back down. Neither of them would, when it came down to it, that much hadn’t changed. Didn’t mean his son needed more things to blackmail him with - or worse, things that would get back to Sabrina’s parents.
“As a person, I kick ass at climbing, so bring it on,” she retorted, any modesty she’d been maintaining completely fading away. “I had one of the fastest qualifying times in basic training that they’d ever seen.” Men were usually viewed as having more upper arm strength than women, but Raya had kicked that climbing wall’s ass. There were advantages to being smaller and lighter than a lot of the men. And now she had were strength to help her along. “I think there’s actually a recreational indoor climbing place around here somewhere. We should go sometime. Bring Robbie along, even.” There hadn’t been a ton of trees to climb in their neighborhood in Chicago, but Raya probably would have been climbing them if there had been. She figured Robbie might not be so different, or at least she hoped. It would be awkward as hell if it turned out that Grant’s kid hated her.
Because Raya wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. She’d only just moved to Scarlet Oak, after all, though she’d been living in Michigan for almost seven years. That was as long as she’d lived in Chicago, and Chicago was the place she’d lived the longest. It only made sense to break that record there in Michigan, especially with Grant back in her life. She was an adult now, so she didn’t have to pick up and move if her parents did, and her career was keeping her there. And with Grant there too, she had yet another reason to stick around.
Grant didn’t miss a beat. “Consider it brought,” he said, grinning. Granted, he’d never been through basic training, but he did spend a decent amount of time in the gym, and he knew he had the upper body strength outside of his were form to present a challenge. Getting out for a bit would be good to keep his mind off the full moon, too, because that was the last thing he wanted to think about when he was in as good a mood as he was right now. “Robbie would love that, actually. Someplace new to take him would be great, and anything that lets him play and burn off some energy is great for me.” Seriously, it was hard work keeping up with a seven-year-old. Especially since it was summer vacation still, and if Grant wasn’t working, then chances were Robbie was with him.
He wasn’t leaving, either. He’d stayed in Colorado for longer than he should have, if only because Robbie was in school and he didn’t have the energy, the drive, to pick up the pieces and start all over again. His parents were close by here, and they’d already agreed to help him with whatever he needed. Now, with the Landows breathing down his neck, he needed the support. And having a friend in Raya - a best friend, his closest friend, at one point - was definitely needed. Grant was a stubborn man, but he couldn’t do this alone anymore. Even he knew that.
“I’d offer to babysit, but that would mean you off having fun without me while I watch the rugrat, which seems a little unfair.” Though in truth, if he needed a night off, she’d totally watch Robbie for him. After all, there’s no way Robbie wouldn’t be safe in Raya’s care. And she might not have a ton of experience with kids outside of having been one, she thought she was pretty fun to be around. Meanwhile, she was steadily avoiding paying attention to the more wibbly bits of Grant having a kid, like worrying about whether Robbie would like her and being jealous that he’d had a kid with someone else. Raya wasn’t even sure she wanted kids, so she had no reason to be jealous. Right?
She was actually fairly sure she was focusing so much on his kid because she needed the reminder that they weren’t seventeen anymore. That they hadn’t just pressed the rewind button and ended up back in high school, only this time they had super powers and were old enough not to get torn apart because of her parents’ career choices. As nice as rewriting history might be, though, Raya needed to keep herself in the present, if only to keep herself from fucking it up. Whatever ‘it’ might be.
“Think it would be more fun if we both go out on the town, but that’s just me. Appreciate the offer, though.” And he did. Regardless of the amount of time that had passed between them, she was still Raya, and Grant still trusted her with his life. That included leaving his son with her if he had to. Robbie was a good kid, and easy going, and generally easy on his babysitters, so long as he could go outside and play every once in a while. With everything they’d been through, Grant was always grateful for that.
It was still a little surreal, talking about his kid with his childhood best friend, with his first love. Growing up, he hadn’t exactly envisioned himself as a father, and he hadn’t been ready for Robbie when he was born. He was just taking it a day at a time and hopefully, he was doing everything right. Or at least, not scarring the kid for life. There was a lot he doubted about the whole situation, no thanks to the Landows, but he was trying. Either way, they weren’t teenagers anymore. There were huge chunks of his life that Raya hadn’t been a part of. Needless to say, there was catching up to do.
It was a little scary how easily she’d slotted Grant back into the mental picture of her life, and she was sure there would be consequences later that she hadn’t thought through. Not that she’d had a chance to think through them yet, but knowing her, she’d put it off until things came to bite her in the ass. Right now she was just so relieved that he didn’t seem to hate her for how things had ended that she refused to question anything else. Grant was back, he’d been her best friend once, and would be again soon, once they had a chance to really, truly catch up. Everything else could be put off or ignored entirely until then.
Except the part where she was clinging to him just outside the bar where he worked, a fact she was reminded of when someone gave them a weird look as they passed to go inside. Raya’s expression turned sheepish and she pulled back a little, though not completely. “I should probably let you go back to work,” she said, rather unenthusiastically. “I’d be a shitty friend if I got you fired, especially the first time seeing you.” As much as she’d rather hang out with him for the rest of the night, she didn’t want to make his life any harder than it already was.
There were always consequences, but like so often when it came to Raya, Grant decided not to care about them. He was sure his former in-laws would have something to say about it if they found out his ex was back - especially as Raya was a bitten, same as him. They’d find a way to use it against him, which was precisely why the Landows could die in a fire and Raya didn’t need to meet them. Ever. What mattered was that he had this, a little piece of happiness, and if karma worked the way it was supposed to, it was about god damn time, too. He was sure there were things about her life now that he might not like to know, but that was part of catching up. Grant didn’t like hiding things from Raya, so he wouldn’t. It just might take a while to fill her in completely.
Seeing that glance sent their way, Grant rolled his eyes. Seriously, they were outside a damn bar, he’d seen his patrons do far worse than that on a nightly basis. “Probably,” he said, glancing over at the front door. “Still, stay for a few drinks and keep me company? I’d rather wait on you than some drunk little floozy who thinks I can’t tell what a fake ID looks like.” Grant had been in college once too, he knew how that worked. He knew he had to get back, but he wasn’t quite ready to let Raya go. Something about how they hadn’t been together in this long, and he didn’t give up that easy.
“I’m sticking around.” She was not just going to go home when she could be here hanging out with him, even while he was working. Not to mention that it was too early and she was too excited to crash even if she did go home. So staying out it was. “What kind of person would I be if I didn’t take advantage of the obvious favoritism of the bartender? And protect you from the floozies, of course.” Hey, her job description was to protect and serve. If the State of Michigan didn’t mean fending off underage girls who should stick to college parties rather than flirting with bartenders they so didn’t deserve, then it should have been more specific. “Come on, back to work with you. I’m pretty sure there were several beers with my name on them in there somewhere.”