Diana Elias (airspriestess) wrote in light_of_may, @ 2010-11-20 22:24:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | #flashback, #solo, diana |
There's that old melancholy feeling & the sense of guilt I can't deny
Who: Diana & several NPCs
Where: Greece
When: 2004
Three weeks.
Diana was sitting at her window. There were many windows in the temple and in her room as well, but this one was decidedly hers because it had the pillows on the bench, the flowing white curtains and the best view of the water far below with all sorts of wonderful views. The wind loved to come and play with her when she was here, tugging at her hair and robe to try and get her to come out and play with them. Though today nothing was so friendly, it hadn't been friendly in three weeks. The skies were dark with clouds that promised more rain while booms of thunder rolled out and over her, lightning tracing out its designs against the sky. Diana tried to focus on that, tried to keep herself from calling out for the lightning to come closer. She wanted it to strike closer, to destroy something that she could watch explode into pieces. She'd imagine that they were the vampires who'd come and taken away her darlings. All five of them. No, she wasn't going to cry, she'd let the sky do that for her. And it cooperated. Clouds opened up and rain began to fall down, soaking the ground that hadn't even had time to dry from the last round of storms only the previous day. But it wasn't enough. There needed to be more.
"Priestess?"
She pretended that no one had spoken. They knew that she wasn't avalible right then, they could go to the next highest ranked priest and ask him whatever it was that they needed. He couldn't take over her duties entirely but once the sun had passed its peak she refused to be bothered. She was trying to listen to the winds and see if they'd bring her words of her children. Of where they'd gone. Of where Barnabas was. Of what was happening out there in that world outside of her walls. A world she hadn't seen or really thought about in decades. That world wasn't for her and hadn't ever been. She belonged here in her temple where they kept the old ways. Where she could raise her children... her children. The wind tore angrily at a nearby tree, leafs blowing off in its wake but she didn't notice. Spots of green scattered in the small courtyard where she'd always watch them play. From Caelia right on down to Dashiell, their laughter had always been a delightful sound. Didn't matter that Caelia was a woman grown with Cheila right behind her and actually, they were all close to that, but Diana didn't care. She'd let them dance and play with the wind as they pleased, playing their games. Even Aurora would join in despite her inability to see them most of the time. The sound of a sigh reached her ears but she still didn't turn to see who was there, waiting for the sound of her door closing before she so much as shifted, tugging her knees up to her chest, cheek rested against one as she watched the courtyard.
Maybe if she started long enough then the past three weeks would vanish and she could see them again. Against her will she felt a tear leak out to trail down her face, dripping down to stain her pale robe just a shade darker. "Where are you?" she whispered, her voice a little choked as the wind came up as though it was going to steal her words away. Her eyelids were heavy as she peered out, reminding her that yet again she hadn't slept. When was the last time she'd been in her bed? Barnabas had been there, she remembered that, he'd been holding her as she cried herself to sleep. Because they were gone. No matter how many times she thought it, no matter what language, she couldn't get her mind to just accept the fact that none of them were going to come prancing through that archway with flowers in their arms. Smiling and laughing, shouting out for her that a storm was coming and could they watch her play with the lightning this time if they promised to go right to bed after?
Her eyes closed and the clouds vanished. Oh no, there they were, miles away. Sticking out against the brilliant blue sky. When had she opened her eyes? Ah well, didn't matter, the heaviness in her chest was still there and they were still... wait. In the middle of the courtyard was a boy who couldn't be more than five, playing with a large piece of parchment and a stick of charcoal. What he was drawing on there she couldn't quite see but something told her that he was practicing the alphabet. One of the things that Diana had insisted all of her children be was literate. Dashiell was learning. "Dashiell?" she called, her voice cracking. But that small head turned and a smile lit up his features, bright eyes dancing as he raised a hand smudged with black to wave at her. He was so young and small then that she knew she could scoop him right up, kiss away all the aches that came from falling on the stone if he ran too fast. "I had to keep up!" "Of course you did, sweetheart," she murmured, waving in return as Dashiell blew her a kiss and returned to his letters. When he was done he'd run off to find his sisters and play if they didn't find him first. She fully expected to see at least one of them coming soon to drag him off for a game. They'd never been able to stay focused all that long, except for perhaps Caelia.
The sky darkened briefly and Diana frowned up at it, focusing to shoo the clouds away, not wanting the rain to come and erase Dashiell's hard work. But they were not responding to her and when she looked back down to call out a warning she saw that Dashiell was gone. Of course he's gone, a small voice reminded her. They're all gone! You let them go, you were too busy that you didn't hear and they took- The voice silenced itself when a young woman of perhaps sixteen skipped into the previously empty courtyard. She had red and pink flowers in her hair and was singing some song that Diana didn't recognize. No, it wasn't quite right, Cheila wasn't that age when Dasheill was five, was she? Diana'd forgotten the exact order when they weren't stood next to each past which came after which. But that was Cheila and she had the wind dancing along behind her, stirring up little clouds of dust that would cling to her dress and take a decent bit of time to get out later. The girl glanced up, bright blue eyes wide and raised a hand to wave at Diana. "Mother, I brought you flowers!" Glancing down at her hands she paused, confusion painting her face before she reached up to touch the flowers in her hair, understanding dawning as she did and giggled. "But I put them in my hair; I'll go get you more!" Before Diana could call out to tell her no, no, she should stay there and not venture outside the walls, Cheila was gone and the weather shifted yet again.
They weren't mirror images, her twins, but it could be hard to tell them apart since there were only very little differences between them. The most noticeable being how they moved. Aurora was a little slower at times, always reaching out for the hand that was waiting to help guide her. Diana hadn't ever had to tell Aetheria to look after her twin, no, she'd taken to it as naturally as breathing and walking. Other than that there were the eyes. Aurora's had that very slight film over hers that dulled them just slightly, but Diana never remarked on it. Both of them were beautiful and talented with the winds and when the wind came they could both see. She'd always loved teaching them then because she knew that Aurora'd know as well as Aetheria what was happening. Her beautiful twins. In tandem they turned to seek her out, Aetheria's eyes lighting up when they saw her with Aurora's face not far behind as the first whispered that mother was watching them. Beaming they waved and suddenly a wind was twirling through Diana's hair. Only eight and they could manage to make it come this far. Such promise shone in both of them and she just knew they'd be wonderful priestesses like she'd been. "Look what we can do, mother!" the two called together, their voices high and sweet, matching perfectly in tone and pitch. But they didn't show her anything because the rain came and they were gone just as Dashiell and Cheila had vanished.
Now the courtyard was gone and Diana was settled into her bed with a scroll and a lamp. Whatever heaviness had once been in her chest was gone and she was merely working on something while her husband slept on next to her. And no, that wasn't Barnabas. That curly dark hair and tanned skin had belonged to her first husband. She was just about to ask herself how he was there when a small hand touched on her wrist. Looking over she saw a girl who could not be more than four, her hair all mussed up and eyes dim from sleeping though they managed to be wide with fear. "What's wrong, sweetheart?" Diana asked, setting her scroll aside to scoop Caelia up into her arms, brushing her hair down as her first child threw her small arms around her neck and buried her face in her neck. "Did you have another nightmare?" A nod. "What was it about?"
"We vanished," Caelia murmured in that scared little girl's voice. "Me and the others we just... went away. You let us." A dagger stuck into her chest and Diana caught her breath, looking down at Caelia with wide eyes. For she'd changed. No longer was she the little girl with frightened eyes but a woman fully grown with eyes that were just as scared. "You're not looking for us." It wasn't just her voice, the others were all suddenly there on the bed, their appropriate ages. Their faces were dirty and blood was coming out of Aurora's mouth, a little trickle that smeared by her chin.
"I can't leave the temple," Diana protested weakly. "They won't know what to do. Your father's looking... I'll come when I can... I don't know where to go."
"You're not trying."
"I will!"
"We'll be gone. We could be dead. They'll kill us, mother, and you won't have left the temple to even look for us. We don't matter as much as the gods. Never have and never will, will we? Will we mother? We're not important."
With a strangled shout of 'no!' Diana came awake, the wind shrieking around her as she sat gasping in the window. Her eyes went to the courtyard and found it empty, turned back towards her bed to find it empty as well. No one was in either. Her face was damp with tears and her throat raw from screaming. So she shouldn't have been surprised when the doors opened and several others flooded in to check on her. "I'm alright," she told them, shrugging off the hands and calling up the winds to let them carry her into the courtyard. She didn't want to deal with their questions, their concerns, their assurances. None of them had lost all of their children to the vampires who had come. None of them drifted off to nightmares that began as nothing more than dreams of their children when they were younger. Before anything had ever dared to harm them. The most awful thing that had happened at the temple in their lives really only affected Caelia, when her father had died from that lightning strike. None of them were ready to be out there in the world. And no one, she didn't care how old they were, was ready to be stolen by vampires for who knew what uses. Terrible thoughts were chasing each other through her mind about what could be happening to them. Angelic blood was highly prized. Angelic, air elemental blood... all five of them... and Caelia? She was a witch as well with the three younger had their psychic abilities and it was so, so hard for Diana to think about what could be happening. What they could be used for.
"Please Barnabas," she whispered into the wind, stretched out under the pattering rain, fingers tracing over a stone that had exploded when a storm Caelia and Cheila had called up had ended with dancing bolts of lightning. It'd been such a beautiful storm. They all were. Her children had such talent for their element. "Bring my babies back to me." Why couldn't she heard their voices on the wind anymore? They'd always been there, a little twist always able to bring up one of them chattering or singing or even just the even sound of them breathing as they slept in their beds. The beds that were empty and cold now. Their rooms had been such a mess, everything torn and in a whirl as though they'd been dragged. Her eyes squeezed shut and she rolled over to press her face against the stones as imagined visions of her children - they were still so young to her despite their ages - fighting to not go. Had their blood been spilled? Was Aurora's mouth really bleeding? Had Dashiell's shirt been torn, had Cheila lost a shoe?
Three weeks and these questions remained unanswered and they still wouldn't leave her alone. The weather was wild and unpredictable because Diana couldn't keep a handle on herself and the weather knew that, reacted to her. Like it was telling everyone that something was wrong in the world. And it was, oh was it ever. Everything in the world was wrong because her children were gone and Barnabas was gone searching for them as her responsibilities wouldn't allow her to do. They mattered every bit as much as the temple, more even, but she couldn't leave them alone. The temple had been devestated in the attack. More than the Elias children had been taken and Diana couldn't just leave them.
"But I wish," she whispered, voice thick with tears that felt as though they'd never stop coming. Her face come up to look out into the darkness that had fallen. "That they'd taken me instead of you. Even if just one..." No, she couldn't choose out of them but if just one of them could be safe in exchange for her she'd take that. It was so hard to just be there knowing that they were out there going through the gods knew what because she'd failed to protect them. If the vampires had come before or after the ceremony, if only it'd been a different night, then they wouldn't have taken anyone. Diana and the others would have been able to save them. She wouldn't be crying in the courtyard for her children to be brought home where they belonged, her throat wouldn't be raw, her nails wouldn't be broken from tearing at the unyielding stone... the world would be right. She needed the world to be right again. Pushing herself to her knees she folded her hands in front of her chest and she began to pray to the gods and goddesses she'd been worshipping when they were taken. If they'd been listening to her then instead of the cries of her children and the others then they needed to listen now. To watch over them, to keep them some degree of safe. Bloody and dirty faces swam in her vision and the prayers stopped as the tears came back.
Three weeks. She had survived three weeks without hearing the twins laugh, Dashiell ask her a question, Cheila sing or Caelia recount another ceremony to her. Without being able to stop by their rooms on her way to her own to make sure that they were tucked in, or at least in a bed since they had the habit of sneaking into each other's beds for comfort. Three weeks without calling up the winds and watching a lightning storm create a beautiful scene on the horizon. Of imaging her children being sold for their blood or their bodies; images of the twins being separated despite their screams, Aurora alone in her world of darkness as she wasn't ever meant to be. Caelia would fight, wouldn't she? She was strong enough... Dashiell wasn't, and Cheila hadn't been inclined in that direction. Wherever they were they'd gone through three weeks without her and possibly without each other. Diana spent every day, no every hour, every minute, of that three weeks feeling as though it was her fault. That she hadn't protected them well enough. That she'd never see them again, never brush their hair or kiss their foreheads and bandage a little cut that they couldn't remember how they got. There were three weeks of her heart being shattered, bleeding inside of her chest so slowly that it wasn't even going to have the decency to kill her before the grief did.
Diana didn't think she could last four.