Anneliese Parker (cut_throat) wrote in light_of_may, @ 2010-09-01 21:46:00 |
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Entry tags: | 2009-07-25 |
Lord have mercy on the things I've done
Who: Anneliese and Luc
When: Evening
Where: Woods
What: The return of the ex!
Guilt. A noun. Defined by those motherfuckers over at Merriam-Webster dictionary as the state of one who has committed an offense, especially consciously.
Remorse. Also a noun. Defined by the big M-W fail as a gnawing distress arising from a sense of guilt for past wrongs.
Anneliese knew these terms. They'd been explained patiently in a kind voice by the most wonderful man she'd ever known years and years ago when he was attempting to teach her how to be a real human being. Before she'd checked her email earlier that day and saw a message from Luc LeCroix, she'd known the definition, but not the substance. She'd never felt such things. But Jesus Christ, did she feel them now.
She sat at the edge of the woods in the driver seat of her Pussy Wagon, safe from the slow drizzle lightly tapping on her windshield for the moment, though her hair hung in a wet tangle around her shoulders. She'd been out in the rain in her other form for a long run, attempting to burn some of this nervous (was it nervous?) energy. It hadn't worked.
Her leg lifted up and down again and again, a sign of her agitation as she peered out the window and waited for the familiar sight of Luc LeCroix. She'd given him the coordinates in an email with a touch of nostalgia. Anneliese didn't like street names and house numbers. Exactitude - that was her shit. Luc had always understood that.
Luc. Luc. The man brought nerve endings alive in her. He gave her a tenseness in her stomach and a tug in her chest region that she knew, or had learned, was love. She hadn't seen him in over five years, but sitting in her car and waiting for his arrival, it didn't feel like that. She was still young and silly. He was still older and handsome. She was still excited, though it was bound to be unpleasant and awkward.
Luc was the hunter she'd always strived to be (though she wasn't ever kidding herself into thinking she'd have her shit together that much) and she admired him. She just couldn't count on the fire elemental to NOT blow up or try to set her on fire, so she'd chosen the woods. Outside, where the rain was, just in case he flipped his shit.
Guilty, remorseful, maybe a little crazy and smitten, but not dumb. That was Anneliese.