killing zombies solves everything Who: Brian and Gabe Where: Gabe’s home When: In the morning
This was, by far, the hardest thing Brian had ever have to do. Go see a friend whose girlfriend had been brutally murdered wasn’t something he ever thought would realistically happen, not to him or anyone he knew. Then again he knew everyone pretty much thought the exact same thing: These things only happen to others. And the fact that this was Gabe’s mate for life only made things worse. Much worse.
Brian didn’t know what to say, he honestly didn’t, which was why he hadn’t been to see Gabe until now. Not that he knew what to say now any more than before, but there was such a thing as being a douche for not checking on a good friend at a time like this for days. Well that, and work. In any case, he was here now, and intended on playing it by ear and probably giving Gabe a hug if words faltered. Because Brian was pretty sure anyone would welcome a hug at a time like this.
After taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door and waited, at which point everything he had planned, even bits and pieces of hopefully-non-clichés he had rehearsed went out the window and Brian suddenly felt like he really, really didn’t want to do this. Because what the fuck could he say that would sound to Gabe like anything more than bullshit, right now?
Gabe had allowed himself to fall apart. He’d had a day to wallow in misery without every leaving his bed, and then he’d had to get up and face reality. And reality sucked. The police report made him feel even more hopeless and the wake had been both cripplingly sad horribly hurtful. The protesters were the first blow below the belt, but he’d not been expecting to be shunned by the entire Korey family. Maybe he should have seen that coming, but it made him feel like he was to blame for Claire’s death. Since that was already a thought in his mind, he didn’t need anything there to help fan the fire.
Now it was another day, but nothing seemed to change. The wake continued and Gabe intended to make a showing, unable to stay away even when he didn’t feel completely wanted. As the news reports came in, he became more and more confused about what had happened-- he’d seen a werewolf, not a vampire, that he was sure of, no matter how many other things might have said vampire. It led him to wonder if werewolves could become vampires. If that was possible, then he might as well start fearing alien abductions as well, right? Just thinking about it made his head hurt.
With a knock at the door, Gabe paused the xbox and hurried down the stairs. He peered out the side window before opening the door, just in case it was someone he’d rather not talk to. But it was Brian, who was always welcome. “Hey,” he said, opening the door to let his friend in. “Thanks for coming by.”
Forcing a smile, Brian patted Gabe in the shoulder awkwardly before coming in. “Hey, sorry I didn’t come by earlier, I...” His voice sort of faded before he could give an explanation, and Brian let it be. “How’ve you been?” He wanted to say he was really sorry, and he wanted to say he was there for Gabe and all that stuff, but everything he played out in his head just sounded stupid. And not at all anything that would make Gabe feel any better. “I, uh...” Brian sighed deeply and set his jaw. This was bullshit. “I’m really sorry, dude. Like, I have no words, and I really don’t wanna say that shit people always say that means nothing and probably would piss you off, but I’m really sorry about what happened.” Finally, it came out, and it didn’t sound any better this time. Brian looked down at his shoes and sighed again. This was fucked up.
When Cynthia had died and people had offered their condolences, Gabe had gotten angry. Since then, he’d had the ability to look back and understand it was all they knew to do. Words didn’t make anything better, neither did anything else. Now, with Claire dying, Gabe had the chance to react differently. Brian was there, and he was trying, so it didn’t make sense to get mad. Not at him. “It’s okay. I mean, I’m not okay, but...,” Gabe said quietly, his words trailing off. “I’ve got Left 4 Dead running upstairs if you want to join me. It’s a good distraction.” And it meant they didn’t have to spend every second with Gabe trying hold himself together.
“Yeah, no, I know...” Brian kept his head lowered, not really wanting to look at Gabe at the moment. He was hopelessly embarrassed, and he wasn’t even sure why. This situation, this whole situation was just sad, awkward, and something he wished he could wipe away from reality. Luckily, Gabe mentioned Left 4 Dead at the exact right time, and Brian lifted up his head, visibly perking up. He smiled. “Dude, absolutely. Let’s kick some zombie ass.” Whatever he needed, Brian supposed. If he wanted to talk about it, he’d talk about it without being prodded to, which meant Brian was probably not expected to do much more than just being there. Playing L4D forever, if Gabe felt like it. He waited for his friend to lead the way, and then followed him upstairs, a little more relieved.
The hard part about talking about it was figuring out what to say. The only time Gabe really talked about his feelings was around girls; it just didn’t feel quite right with his guy friends. But then that was over things like falling in love, not dealing with death, and no one really wanted to hear how miserable he was. “Have you talked to Maddock?” Gabe asked, taking a seat in front of the television and handing Brian a controller. Maddock wasn’t returning Gabe’s phone calls, though Gabe really couldn’t blame him. He’d let his twin sister die on his watch; it wasn’t exactly the easiest thing to forgive. Even if he could get past it, Gabe had the feeling they’d never be close again.
Gabe’s question was unexpected, but there was an easy answer for it. “Uh, no...” He shook his head. “Not yet, I guess I will at the funeral, or something.” He shrugged. Maddock wasn’t as good of a friend as Gabe, but that wasn’t the point here. The point was, if he had to start somewhere, he’d start with the one he found it marginally easier to talk to, and that was Gabe. It had been kind of instinctive to come by Gabe’s first, Brian wasn’t making a “visiting the family of the deceased” day out of it, not intentionally. Plus, Maddock hadn’t been seen anywhere lately, apparently. Then again, neither had Gabe. “Uh...Have you?” That was a hard question with an answer Brian thought he already knew, because if Gabe had to ask the question it meant he probably hadn’t been talking to Maddock himself. But although he could be sure of that, he was making a huge effort not to read Gabe’s mind, for a thousand and one reasons.
“I’ve tried,” Gabe answered, his mind partially dedicated to the game. It as a lot easier not to get emotional when zombie killing was going on. “Not that I really know what to say, but...” Gabe sighed. It was wrong not to try, though keeping his distance was easier. If Maddock was pissed at him, then putting two possessive werewolves together would only mean trouble. “Do you think you could help me move back home? After the funeral?” He wanted to get that done as fast as possible, since any time spent focused on Claire’s death made things harder, especially when it came to the future they would never have together. He hadn’t been back to their house since the attack and he already knew he couldn’t do it alone.
“Yeah.” Brian answered idly, sighing. He could pretend his unenthusiastic response had to do with him focusing solely on killing zombies, but it didn’t; rather, it had everything to do with how sad and fucked up the whole situation was. Without even asking he wondered if Maddock would be blaming Gabe, which he supposed wasn’t unnatural or hard to understand. Not that he thought Gabe was to blame at all, but from a brother’s point of view - which he was wholly unfamiliar with - he supposed Maddock’s behaviour wasn’t that weird. “He’ll come around.” Brian managed, sneaking a smile in his friend’s direction before being pounded on by a horde of zombies and having to pay attention to the screen again.
At Gabe’s request, though Brian didn’t take his eyes off the screen again, he nodded energetically. “Sure, man, no problem. I don’t even work today, I think.” And even if he did, it probably wasn’t until later. It occurred to him then that maybe he should start worrying about these things more. Then, it hit him. “Hey, Gabe...” He looked at his friend from time to time, for seconds at a time. “You know, if you don’t want to come back home, you know I’m aching to get out of mine...I know it’s not something you wanna think about now but still, I thought I’d say something.” He killed some more zombies.
Go somewhere else? Gabe hadn’t thought about it, mostly because he couldn’t have brought himself to do so. The world was confusing at the moment and there were so many different options he hadn’t considered. After he realized that he was getting pummelled by a horde of zombies, Gabe shook his head a little and snapped back to reality. “Can I think about it?” he asked. “That... that might be real cool.” Brain knew his situation, was going to the same college as him, and he wouldn’t be starting his freshman year living at home. Dorms were always an option, but the idea of being thrown in with someone knew who didn’t know anything about him was not near as appealing. “If I can get through this week, then maybe I can get my head together.”
Brian scoffed. “Dude, that’s what I just said. You don’t wanna think about it now, and I know that, so it’s kind of implied you can think about it later. We don’t start college for a while, there’s time.” But of course Brian really wished he’d say yes, mostly because he couldn’t rent an apartment on his own but if things kept going the way they were with his father, he’d sooner or later have to resort to living in his car. “Sure you can get through the week. A little broken, a little fucked up, but you can get through.” He glanced at Gabe with a faint smile. “I’ll drag you through the goddamn week if I have to.”
“Sorry, man,” Gabe said. “I hear ya.” Even when he was paying attention, Gabe didn’t feel like he was all there. His mind kept slipping off to darker places and it was a constant struggle to stay in the present. While each day seemed a little better, he was a long way from healing. “Thanks,” Gabe said, smiling slightly. “I know I’ll survive and all. It just doesn’t always feel like it.” He was doing better just being around people, playing video games and talking, rather than hiding away in his room, alone to think about his loss. “So... how’ve you been? Anything new going on lately?” It’d been a while since they’d hand a chance to hand out, and Gabe felt like he’d lost track of what Brian was up to. He’d been lost in his own little world, and now that it shattered he had a lot of catching up to do.
“It’s cool.” Brian reassured him, shrugging. He didn’t know how it felt, at all, so he didn’t hint at it with yet another cliché like people liked to do, simply offering Gabe a friendly smile instead. Tapping away at the buttons, Brian raised his eyebrows at the question as if thinking of what really interesting things had happened to him lately. “Well you know about my awesome not really new car, and how I don’t want my dad’s money on a dot of the paint job, so I got a job.” He nodded absently. “At the Berry Bucket. And guess who works with me?” Brian glanced at Gabe. “Remember Rowan, that girl from gym who had this weird fit and went to the loony bin for a while?”
Cars were definitely a safe subject in Gabe’s book, as was any girl other than Claire. Gabe had been lucky to get a new car for his eighteenth birthday, but knew that any car was better than no car, especially when looking at college. If he’d been in the same boat as Brian, he’d want to fix it up as well. “Rowan? Yeah, I think I remember her. Mostly the stories and shit. She’s out and working?” Gabe wasn’t sure if this was worrisome or not. It wasn’t like the Berry Bucket was a high risk job, but still... “Did you find out what happened? Did they lock her in a rubber room or something?”
“Yeah, Rowan. She’s actually kinda cool, man.” Brian smiled. Well, she was. Anyone who expected a balls out crazy chick with crazy hair was in for a surprise, like he’d been. “She’s out, yeah. She actually said she didn’t escape. Which is, you know, reassuring.” He shrugged. “She was actually really kind of nice, in her own way, and pretty hilarious. But no, I’ve no idea if she was ever in a padded room or not, all I know is her father is kind of a dangerous douchebag - if the murder thing didn’t tip you off - and people seem to shit on her for it like it’s her fault. I felt kind of sorry for her when she said that, though. But she’s cool, she seems healthy.” He nodded. Jeez he felt like her parole officer, or something. “Her thoughts weren’t very twisted either, not any more than yours or mine on any given occasion.” Brian added, shrugging again. At least they had managed to find something else to talk about.
Thinking about murder, and how many people were out there that were capable of it, tied a knot in Gabe’s stomach that quickly pulled all the color out of his face. He couldn’t imagine being related to someone like that and the kind of issues it might create. He’d heard that Rowan tried to kill herself at some point and thought maybe he understood. The past few days had been hard, so much so that he’d considered it briefly himself, and that was just over this one little ordeal. How hard did someone have to be pushed to actually try it? Hearing that she was okay was reassuring in a way; if Rowan was able to pull her life back together, then Gabe should be able to as well. “So long as she’s not gonna go all American psycho on us, you should invite her along sometime,” Gabe said before he thought better of it. A month or two ago he wouldn’t have extended ain invitation to Rowan, but things had been so crazy lately that a little more couldn’t possibly hurt.
Of course Brian hadn’t had the tact to realize murder talk of any kind could have upset Gabe, and still hadn’t noticed it. But the hint of thoughts regarding how Gabe found some hope in Rowan’s own ‘happy ending’ made Brian smile. And then he was mildly shocked by Gabe’s willingness to hang out with Rowan Agan, of all people. Then again, mere weeks earlier the sheer thought would have made Brian laugh hysterically, and now here he was, talking about how cool the girl actually was. “I doubt she’ll do that, she’s really kind of cool now. But I don’t know how much she’ll want to hang out with us. One of the ‘cool kids’ as she calls us was tough enough, two might be overkill.” He explained, with a shrug. “‘Course if you were to stop by the Bucket and hang out instead, I doubt she’d mind as much.”
“Yeah, I’m sure people think I’m all kinds of cool now,” Gabe said, his eyes focused on the screen. A couple of years ago, he’d been offered a fresh start by moving in with his mom. No one had to know that his girlfriend back home had died. Now it had happened here, a second girlfriend with an early death and the feeling that he was cursed doubling. And that had nothing to do with being bitten by a werewolf. With that taken into consideration, he was well on his way to becoming a pariah if he wasn’t careful. “I’ll drop by sometime. Don’t have much else to do. Not sure I want to keep working in the hospital after all this.” He wanted to be somewhere a little more low key, at least for a while. Then he might rethink his plans for the future.
A moment paused during which Brian didn’t say anything, but then there came a time in which he just let it go, and snorted. “Cool cats like you never stop being cool, Gabe. Deal with it.” He joked, shooting a bright smile at his friend. An idea did strike him then, as Gabe went on, but one he wasn’t sure would work. “I could always ask if they’re looking for anyone else. That could be fun.” He shrugged. “But I don’t know, it’s not a place that requires a lot of manpower, exactly...” Brian added, shrugging yet again. He didn’t ask why Gabe didn’t want to work at the hospital, fully aware of most of his friend’s reasons - and yet he’d tried his best not to hear Gabe’s thoughts. But Gabe’s thoughts were kind of screaming at the moment, which was only natural. And it wasn’t like Brian was going to do anything with the information he might accidentally receive, anyway. “Failing that, I could always help you find another job.” He offered. And then, Brian remembered one last very important thing. “There is one thing you sort of have to do though, and that is take a ride in my sweet ride - no pun intended. I am way too proud of her not to force you.” This was good, this worked. Brian had never thought he was so good at pretending nothing life-changing had happened, for someone else’s benefit.
Gabe rolled his eyes, but at least Brian got a smile out of him. Maybe people wouldn’t care about all the shit that seemed to pile up around him. There was nothing he could do about it, except hope that was the case. He wasn’t all that interested in people’s opinions of him at the moment anyways. “If you don’t mind asking, that’d be great,” he said. “Doesn’t hurt, you know? And I’ll start asking around. See what’s out there. I definitely want something low stress.” The ER was about as high stress as he could get. “You wanna go do that now? I’d love to see what you did with her.” Gabe said, looking over at Brian. He’d been playing video games on and off since Claire died, as it kept his mind busy, so something different would have been refreshing. The game would still be there for him when he got back.
“No worries, I’ll ask, I think I’m working tomorrow or the day after, so I’ll definitely ask then.” Brian promised, hoping to God he wouldn’t forget from now until then. “Hmm...Low stress...There’s, like, libraries and bookstores. Maybe you could work on campus, maybe they have those and need people!” He suggested, not entirely knowing what he was on about. But he assumed they would have jobs on campus, they always seemed to. “Just don’t work at restaurants and diners and shit. Not that I know what that’s like, but I heard it’s anything but chill.” He warned, just in case Gabe wasn’t aware of that fact of life. His mood perked up when Gabe asked to go try his new ride now; Brian wasn’t a “man’s man” in the car-loving sense, but he was in love with his so far unnamed Camaro, and any interest people showed in it improved his mood right away. “Let’s go, the zombies aren’t going anywhere.” He sad, dropping the controller on the couch next to him as he got up. “Wanna drive?” He asked his friend, tossing him the keys without waiting for an answer. “Since it’s you, I don’t mind.”
“Libraries may be a little too low stress,” Gabe laughed. Could Brian really see him working in a library? Gabe couldn’t imagine it himself and didn’t really want to. There had to be a lot of different opportunities between the ER and a library though. “Can’t turn down an offer like that,” Gabe said, catching the keys with a smile. There were few people he’d let drive his own car, but Brian was one of them, so it was awesome that the trust went both ways. Leaving the game behind, he led the way down to Brian’s car, looking forward to a scene other than his room. It was getting stuffy in there with only his thoughts to choke him, so a little fresh air would be good for him.