Gabe Winters (ex_blindside211) wrote in light_of_may, @ 2010-07-12 10:08:00 |
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Entry tags: | 2009-07-19, charlotte |
There for you
Who: Gabe and Charlotte
When: Mid-morning
Where: Gabe’s mom’s house
When Gabe had finally texted Charlotte back the previous day, she’d immediately gone to his mother’s house to see him. Only to find that Gabe was asleep, and to be promptly (although kindly) turned away by his mom. Charlotte had very nearly put up a fight - she’d certainly wanted to - but what was she going to do? Refuse? Go and wake Gabe up so he could suffer consciously? No. Sleep was probably the best thing for him. She wanted to be there when he woke up, just so he would know someone was there for him and he wasn’t alone, but she couldn’t fight his mom on what she felt was best for her son. In the end, Charlotte reasoned that being there while he slept might have been a bad idea after all. Gabe had been a werewolf for a few months now, but his increased senses were still an adjustment. The scent of another human in the house - especially one that smelled heavily of a werewolf male - might be disturbing enough to wake him up.
So she waited. And while up before the crack of dawn, she even managed to wait some more. But she was still in her car before nine AM, circling the block until she finally caved in and pulled in his driveway, praying this time that she’d actually see him.
Gabe knew that he’d have to face people today, whether he liked it or not. His mother had answered for him the day prior, be it his family, friends, or even the police. She’d called on his behalf and reported a portion of what had happened, since his belongings were going to be found at the scene regardless. Everything had been dropped the moment he shifted, his clothing torn to shreds, but his cell phone and wallet made him an easy person to track down. Today he’d have to face what happened, even if he didn’t think he’d ever be able to.
It felt like he was living in circles, his life repeating itself at the worst possible moment, only worse the second time around. What would happen next time? Would he be the one to kill someone he loved? After shifting, he would have been capable of it, and felt at least the tiniest bit fortunate to find no other murders were reported the night Claire had died. Still, if he’d been faster, stronger... anything more than what he was, maybe he could have saved her. Her death continued to play itself behind his eyes, in his nightmares, made ever worse by the hole where his memory should have been.
After parking, Charlotte took a deep breath before taking the steps to the front door. She was nervous of what could be waiting on the other side - mainly, what kind of state Gabe would be in and just how bad that could be - but determined to put on a brave face and be strong. She rang the bell and waited on the step, anxiously chewing her bottom lip as she waited. She didn’t know what to hope for. That he’d be okay? Mentally, he’d be far from it. Losing someone you loved was bad enough. Charlotte still wasn’t over the loss of her father, all those years ago. But she couldn’t imagine how Gabe was feeling. First Cynthia. Now Claire.
Though his mother had promised to be home by noon so that she could be present for the police questioning, Gabe had the house to himself that morning. Thessaly wasn’t pleased with the idea, but she had to go to work, and instead called him every fifteen minutes just to make sure he was okay. When he resorted to yelling within the first hour, they instead moved to texting, which Gabe was willing to put up with. He loved his mother, but if he didn’t draw the line she would smother him, at least in this situation. Honestly, he didn’t blame her. Gabe wasn’t known for taking these things well. Sending off the most recent text-- “still alive”-- Gabe sighed and climbed down the stairs to answer the door. His whole body ached from the ordeal, but he was barely aware of it in comparison to the mental pain he was suffering.
“Charlotte,” Gabe said, looking back at her through the open doorway. There was probably more he should say, but what? What had she heard? What could he make it thorough without falling apart again? He licked his lips, then took a step back, letting her step inside.
That strong front thing Charlotte had been working on? Was a little flexible. Her already red and puffy eyes teared up again at the sight of Gabe, and when she stepped inside she immediately wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight. He didn’t seem very happy to see her, but that was to be expected. She doubted he’d be happy about anything right now. At least he’d answered the door. She’d take it. “How are you holding up?” she asked. “I came by yesterday. Your mom sent me away. You were sleeping.”
Gabe closed his eyes as Charlotte’s arms wrapped around him, shutting the door as hot tears came to his eyes. So long as he kept breathing, he could keep it at just that, but he couldn’t stop the swell of emotion that hit him. He told himself that it was only because it was Charlotte that was there to see him, that he wouldn’t cry in front of his guy friends, but then Gabe wasn’t sure. At least he could count on them not to hug him. While he appreciated it, needed it even, it did make him more vulnerable in a sense. “I... I feel like I’m dying,” Gabe whispered. “Is it supposed to feel like this?”
Charlotte sniffled and bit back a sob, still holding him, unmoving. “Probably,” she guessed. She could never know for sure, and hoped she would never have to find out. She couldn’t say she understood, but she could try to guess. She knew how she’d feel if she lost Ransom. “I’m so sorry,” she forced out, even though it was the last thing she wanted to hear when her dad died. It wasn’t anyone’s fault but the person who did it. Sorry wouldn’t bring them back.
It was worse than Gabe remembered when he’s lost Cynthia, but time had passed and those wounds had healed. Mostly. Losing Claire did a good job of ripping them open again, bringing back his fears about losing the people closest to him, especially those he loved. “Thanks,” he said, willing to take her comfort but not sure what to do with it. Gabe knew she meant well, but it didn’t help. Nothing did. Slowly, he released her, then walked over to the couch to take a seat. She was the first person for him to talk to, other than Alex and his mother, but Gabe wasn’t sure where to start. Wiping the tears from his eyes, he ran his fingers through his hair, then took a deep breath. “I feel like I should be doing something.”
Charlotte wasn’t quite so willing to let go, but allowed it when he pulled away. “What could you possibly be doing?” she asked, following to sit next to him on the couch. Of course, she knew the feeling. Even as a child she’d felt that way when her dad died. She’d ended up looking through family photo albums and keeping vigil in front of the news, waiting for his killer to be caught. He never was. “There’s no set way to grieve, Gabe. You do whatever feels right.”
“I dunno,” Gabe said as he looked up at her. “Something? If I’d... been faster. stronger. Maybe I could have saved her. If I’d had more control...” He kept wondering what would have happened if he’d shifted right off the bat and fought the monster, if he would have kept his sanity because it had been a purposeful move rather than a defensive one. Maybe then Claire could have run away. After all, the thing seemed more interested in him, which only made him feel more to blame. “It’s not fair...”
Charlotte frowned and wiped at her eyes. Of course, she didn’t believe that for a second. But she didn’t know what had happened to properly rebuke the idea. “What happened, Gabe?” she asked. “Tell me everything.” Which, in all likelihood, he wouldn’t want to talk about at all. And yet perhaps he needed to.
He knew he had to be able to talk about it, especially with the police coming by later that afternoon, but that didn’t mean he wanted to. It would be easier to lock it all up and try to forget about it, even if he didn’t think that would ever happen. “We were walking through the park and this... this thing came out of nowhere. We tried to run.” He should have known that wouldn’t work, but it hadn’t occurred to him that splitting up might be better, that the monster might have come after him and spared Claire. “We didn’t get very far. As we were heading out of the park, she fell. He got to her before I did.”
A thing? What kind of thing? Of course the first idea Charlotte's traumatized mind jumped to was demon, and the thought of it was enough to make her heart pound. "What kind of thing?" she asked. She wanted to ask what it had done to Claire when it got her, but she didn't have the heart to. She was better off not knowing, and she rather hoped Gabe didn't remember. He must have shifted. She couldn't imagine that he'd been able to avoid it.
There was the question of the hour, the one thing Gabe couldn’t reconcile in his mind. He wanted to say it was a werewolf, but he would bet his life that the creature didn’t have a heartbeat. Those were two things that didn’t add up, and it held him from making the call. “It look like a werewolf in hybrid form,” Gabe said. “But I never heard it’s heart. Not once. When it was still, it was... dead silent.” He remembered the monstrous grin on the creature’s face before it came after them. If Claire hadn’t screamed, if it hadn’t jumped down from somewhere, Gabe would have never known it was there. “I know that doesn’t make sense, but it just felt wrong. Everything about it was wrong.”
That was terrifying. Of course at this point the medical examiner’s report wasn’t out yet. In a few hours they would learn a vampire’s blood was found on Claire’s body. But now? Utterly terrifying. “I’ll look into it,” Charlotte heard herself saying, because that was what she did. It was instinct. Stuff’s going crazy, it looks like the world is ending? Hit the books. Learn. Cover your bases. It felt like an empty promise, but she’d do anything to ease Gabe’s mind.
There was something comforting about Charlotte’s offer, a familiarity that Gabe wanted to cling to when everything else had failed him. Claire was gone and Maddock had withdrawn entirely, the loss of his twin as hard a hit as Gabe losing his mate, but Charlotte was still there, and would do what she always did when Gabe didn’t have all the answers. He hugged her suddenly, eyes squeezed tight, as he’d promised himself no more crying. “Thank you,” he said softly. It didn’t matter if she found anything at all, but that she might try, which was more than he could handle at the moment. “I hate not knowing. I hate that dark space where my mind went blank. I don’t even know how I got away.”
The hug was unexpected, but of course not unwelcome. Charlotte hugged back tightly, though his words brought up something she’d been wondering herself. How did he get away? Rather, what had he done while he was out of control? She didn’t want to ask. He had enough on his plate. “Where were you when you woke up?” she asked. That was the safer question.
“In Alex’s bed,” Gabe said, then paused before laughing a little at such a statement. Any other time and he’d be making highly inappropriate jokes, but he just didn’t have the mind to do so. “He’s a born were. He found me, knocked me out, and took me back to his place. That’s where I woke up.” It was something he felt safe telling Charlotte, since she was mated to another born werewolf. “But he wasn’t there when it happened. He found me afterwards. Pretty soon, I think.” He hoped.
That saved her the trouble of asking who Alex was. Charlotte wondered if Ransom knew him. In general Charlotte was wholly distrusting when it came to strangers, but right now, she was glad for whoever this Alex was. As painful as it was to admit - even to herself - it could have been a lot worse. The worrier in her wanted to ask and be absolutely sure that this Alex couldn’t have been the thing that attacked in the first place - maybe Gabe was emotional and made a mistake - but she managed not to. She trusted Gabe. She wasn’t going to inflict her own issues on him right now. “Do the cops know...?” She hadn’t talked to Valen about it. She didn’t want to.
“They’re sending someone over this afternoon,” Gabe said with a sigh. He wasn’t looking forward to that visit, but they’d been courteous enough to wait this long that he knew he couldn’t put it off any longer. “We called them as soon as I got home, and let them know what happened, but they haven’t done the official interview yet.” It made his stomach turn thinking about it. He was willing to do anything they needed to move forward in the case, but that didn’t mean talking about it was easy. “I know they’re not going to like the big black hole in my memory, but there’s nothing I can do about it.” He hated to think about the route that could take, so instead of worrying he just tried to ignore it and hope for the best.
“It’s gotta be a good sign that they let it wait,” Charlotte ventured. With a cop-dad and a cop-stepdad (a homicide detective at that), she knew a few things. She was amazed they didn’t insist on doing it immediately. Of course, there was always the possibility that they just didn’t believe him. “Well, there’s nothing they can do about that big black hole. It’d happen to any bitten were, and there’s no way of getting around that.”
“It’s just really inconvenient in the middle of a murder investigation,” Gabe said quietly. “They got my fingerprints and DNA yesterday, but I don’t know what that’ll prove. My hands were all over here before... it all happened.” But maybe there was more at the scene than he was aware of. Maybe they could tell who hurt her, versus who’d lovingly touched her and kissed her. It was a bad situation to be in, but Gabe had been willing to work with them from the start. Any question they asked, he’d do his best to answer. “He’s still out there, Charlie. All I know is what he looks like in hybrid form. How can that help?”
Charlotte didn’t know how to answer that. She was relatively certain you couldn’t get fingerprints from skin, but she made a note to look it up later. “I don’t know,” she finally answered, shrugging. “But I’d bet that no two wolves are the same. Just like people. I bet I could pick out Ransom’s wolf out of dozens of others. And who knows how medical science and criminal justice has advanced since the Light of May. Maybe there’s some kind of psychic that can help.”
Gabe nodded. He hadn’t seen all that many weres in different forms and he couldn’t really see himself, so he hadn’t thought of it like that. “I think I could spot him in a line up. He wasn’t like... it just felt all wrong,” he said, running his fingers through his hair. “The way he snuck up on us, his smell-- if I didn’t know him by sight, I’d know his scent-- and he was so fucking quiet. I couldn’t even hear his heart beat.” That seemed wrong on all accounts, no matter how crazy it sounded. He could hear the kitchen clock, Charlotte’s heart, and the quiet buzz of noises he couldn’t even identify. He should have been able to hear the fucker’s heartbeat.
“That’s something to go on then,” Charlotte decided, as if they were going to have to figure this out themselves. She didn’t think that way - not yet - but she was the worrier. She prepared for the absolute worst in all situations. It was automatic, it happened without thinking. “After the...” Her throat suddenly felt very dry, and she swallowed hard. The word would be so hard to say. “After her funeral, we’ll look into what magic and psychics can do. Dorian Lockwood found everybody with magical means. There’s gotta be options available to us.”
A focus on revenge probably wasn’t a good idea, but it was better than the misery of sitting around and doing nothing. If Gabe could convince himself he wasn’t to blame for Claire’s death, then he wanted to take down the creature that was, even if he died trying. “I just don’t think that... that he should get away with it. Living his life with no consequences,” Gabe said. He didn’t have to kill the guy-- in fact, that might be more than he could handle, but seeing him behind bars would calm the rage inside him. “I’d rather try than sit around and wait for someone else to do it for us. After... after she’s gone, we can start.” Like Charlotte, acknowledging Claire’s funeral was hard, something he never thought he’d have to deal with, and if he did, then not so soon.