Freddie Barker (h2odrops) wrote in light_of_may, @ 2010-03-30 17:54:00 |
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Entry tags: | #solo, 2009-07-08 |
This is the end, beautiful friend
Who: Freddie and Rhys (NPC)
When: Afternoon
Where: The park
Freddie had called Rhys after leaving Renard's. Something about how they had set up to meet at the park this time didn't feel like the others. Amongst all the shock and awe still present due to recent events - which she hadn't even had the guts to tell anyone about, she was still very much processing - Freddie had a feeling of dread, for some reason, and she just couldn't shake it. Especially because she was fully conscious of the way things had changed, her own feelings had changed. And, she suspected, so had his.
She hadn't taken her car this time, choosing to simply walk all the way to the park, which would give her time to think. When she got there, Rhys was leaning against the side of his car, much like he had been that one time they had met that had lead to the start of their relationship. Well, their romantic relationship, anyway. Only, this time it wasn't raining. If for others this was seen as a good omen, for Freddie it was a very bad one.
"Hi." She greeted him sternly as she walked up to him.
"Hi." He greeted back, smiling slightly though he didn't move.
Freddie rubbed her forehead for a second before saying anything else, almost unable to look at him straight on, which was bothering her to no end. "So, uh, you okay?"
"Yeah, yeah. Fine. You?" He said, sweetly as he'd always spoken.
"Not..." Freddie looked away. "Not bad."
Rhys nodded, trying for a smile that absolutely did not reach his eyes, and Freddie noticed that, too. "You don't look that not bad." He pointed out, to which Freddie snickered humorlessly.
"Yeah you know, I didn't tell you. I should've told you, but I wasn't really myself." Rhys looked at her in confusion but decided to keep quiet and let her speak. "I sort of had contact with my brother yesterday." She finally blurted out, half in excitement half in disbelief at her own words. Rhys' eyes went as wide as they would go, and he kind of gasped before really saying anything.
"What?! How?!" Of course he demanded she elaborate, she would've, too. Freddie told him the whole story, from the mediums and Bunny coming to the house to Bunny taking pictures of the both of them - despite there only being lights to show for - and everything else that happened. She was smiling, as she spoke, but it felt distinctly bittersweet, because it wasn't as though suddenly Raz wasn't dead anymore. He was, and the fact that she had this (likely) last chance to get in touch with him only exacerbated that notion. He was gone, somewhere else, no longer a part of her world while still kind of being there, and it made her miserable to think about it. Rhys comforted her - probably after reading her thoughts a bit, which she thought he couldn't exactly avoid - by rubbing her arm soothingly and Freddie let him hug her for a moment, until the wave of emotion rehashing from the other day went away. With a heavy sigh, she pulled away and there was a moment of silence then.
"Okay, so..." He started, sighing. Freddie looked up at him and nodded. "You wanted to talk to me?"
Freddie did not recall having said that, but it must have been true. It must have been her subconscious, or something. She went wide eyed at his question anyway, and stood there speechless for a minute, during which Rhys looked very confused. Blinking once or twice, Freddie finally managed to break the silence. "I...Yeah." She couldn't lie to him. Even though he had promised not to, he could absolutely be reading her mind at the moment, and if he didn't share her feelings or thoughts, he might get very hurt, very fast. "It's just...This month feels like an eternity. Right?"
"Yeah." Rhys nodded, giving a faint chuckle. "Everything happened this month, not much room for boredom, that's true."
Nodding, Freddie rubbed her forehead again, and swallowed hard. "Row came back, we started going out, we had, uh...you know, sex, Bunny accidentally turned Blake into a crazy stalker, we got kidnapped, you got shot, my dad came to visit, we got huge college funds for no reason, it was my brother's death anniversary..." She enumerated all the things that had happened in June, and it really did feel like an eternity.
"...You got attacked by a demon," Rhys continued. Freddie gave a slight laugh.
"Well, kind of." She assessed. Rhys laughed as well. "I went to the open mic night, my cousin came to live here, my dead twin brother turned out to still be around in some capacity and now..."
"You forgot the movie we were extras for." Rhys reminded her, smiling. Freddie smiled back, nodding, though even if he couldn't read minds he would've been able to tell she was uncomfortable.
"Yeah, that too." Freddie stopped wobbling on her feet and looked up at Rhys for a few minutes without saying a word. Rhys just looked back. Suddenly, Freddie couldn't take it anymore, and she opened her mouth. "It's just...We kind of haven't been together at all. We kind of drifted apart in some stupid, weird way, you know? It might have had to do with what happened to us on the camping trip, or my clashing with Blake all the time like I did, or a mix of everything. And I...I feel like the most horrible person in the world for saying this, but I just don't feel..."
"Me neither." He interrupted, making Freddie stop talking at once. When he didn't say anything else, she felt compelled to continue.
"...The same." She completed, barely above a whisper.
"Yeah." Rhys agreed, though he wasn't any less sad about it than she was. "We burned out." He assessed, and Freddie had to agree, as painful as it was. She didn't speak again for a moment, trying to find the better way to convey her thoughts.
"I guess we had been wanting each other for so long that there wasn't much beyond that." She realized, looking down at the road, completely deflated. "I mean of course there was, I love you, I loved you so much I just can't suddenly stop, but..."
"...It's not the same. Right?" He completed, yet again. And Freddie had to agree, yet again. He was right. There was something missing now that had somehow been there before, and neither Freddie nor Rhys could really name it. Suddenly, Freddie felt herself being pulled into a hug, and she couldn't fight the tears anymore. "It's okay." Rhys whispered into her ear, holding her tight against him.
"I'm so sorry!" She cried, her voice muffled by his shirt. "I feel terrible, I'm a bitch."
"No, no you're not." He said soothingly. "I understand, I feel the same way, remember?" He pushed her slightly away to take a good look at her, sadder than she'd ever seen him. With his thumb, Rhys wiped the tears from below her eyes. "I love you too, the way I think you love me. We can always be friends. Sometimes that's even better. I'm not ever leaving you, even if this whole romantic thing didn't work out, I'm here."
That was better than what she could've hoped for, a million times over. "Same here, Rhys. Seriously. Thank you." She said, suddenly relieved. There were no smiles to be had, but at least she wasn't completely breaking his heart, even if in some way they had both broken each other's, inevitably. "I'll always be here too." She added.
Rhys gave a weak smile to which Freddie retributed, and suddenly things were awkward again.
"Well...That's the moment gone, huh?" He said, to which Freddie snickered.
"I guess. I should be going, my cousin can't be left alone with my mother. Or vice-versa, really." She shrugged. Rhys nodded.
"Yeah, you better take care of that." He said, rubbing her arm. "Bye Freddie." He said, getting into the car.
Freddie took a few aimless steps backwards, waving. "Bye." Her voice choked a little, but she turned around soon enough that he didn't see her cry. Even though things had turned out as well as they ever could, Freddie was still feeling terrible, and she knew she wasn't going to get over this at the blink of an eye. But that was good; she was of the mind that the things that were worth it, always hurt like this when they ended.
On her way home, she received a text. Her heart missed a beat when she saw it was from Rhys, and she wiped her tears before reading it.
Freddie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
And just like that, Freddie smiled again. At least for the time being. But this wasn't over and it wasn't going to be easy. Going back to normal wasn't something Freddie thought she could hope for just yet.