Saoirse made a pained face. "Listen. From the list of 'things not to do in a vampire bar', you should know that 'start fires' is number two. Mentioning that awful T word? That's number one." She didn't condone violence, but how every vampire's attempt to put a hit or kill that horrible writer themselves had failed she would absolutely never understand. Deal with the devil, probably. There were certain cultures and myths that believed Lucifer sparkled, too.
She was half expecting to step out into the bar and have Neil attacked, but the two managed to get outside unscathed. And then Neil was attacked by a monkey.
He got a monkey familiar, she realized, after the monkey started talking. Of course he got a monkey. This makes the most sense out of anything that's happened today. And then, I want a familiar. Bastard. She smiled politely at the monkey (holy shit, how many times did one get to say that in their life?), but she felt a little awkward, knowing how much animals hated being around vampires. Familiars too. "Nice to meet you, Abri. I'm sorry that you had to bond yourself to a flaming douchebag who thinks it's cool to submit you to vampire bars. That wasn't very nice of him."