White Knight Who: Tayne and Johan Where: The bar/restaurant Johan is playing at When: Night
It was almost ten before Tayne managed to get to the fancy-ass place Johan was playing at. He had actually waffled over what to wear, which annoyed him a bit, and he'd finally gone for the pants that went with the suit he had for his father's funeral and a black button-down, which he did actually own, with a cowboy hat that he thought was pretty fancy that kind of toned the whole thing to something at least a little more comfortable, in his mind.
Unfortunately, his neck was already feeling strangled, and it'd only been a few minutes of driving. Thank god he didn't own a tie. Maybe Johan would tell him it was okay to unbutton the damn thing, once he got there. Or maybe when he got there he'd get hissed at to ditch the hat and why the hell hadn't he worn a tie? Hell, he hated dressing up.
He parked, got out, and made his somewhat-tentative way inside, hoping he hadn't made a huge mistake.
Johan was at the piano, dressed in black tails, hair slicked back like an old Hollywood actor of the 20's. He wasn't looking up as the other man entered the bar, eyes down on the keys instead as he got lost in the light sonata he played. Had Johan paid more attention, he would have noticed his crush, and have noticed his ex boyfriend Sean in the back of the bar. Sean was big, dark colored, drunk, and luckily hadn't noticed Johan at that point.
Finally, Johan's blue eyes looked up and he saw the other man. Tayne was handsome as sin in any form, but dressed up? Johan didn't like it much, but he would bite his tongue. He nodded to Tayne before finishing the song with a flourish of his hands.
Tayne had all but snuck inside, feeling out of place and awkward, and gravitated as close to Johan's piano as he could without hovering and distracting him from his playing. At least he had someone here he knew, even if he looked even preppier than usual in a tuxedo with coattails and his hair all slicked back. It made Tayne kind of want to muss it up, so it looked more natural.
When Johan noticed him, he grinned a bit, almost shyly, and waved. He didn't come closer, not sure if that was allowed or what. The etiquette of places like this totally escaped him.
Johan smiled as he saw the other only step so far, and stood himself to get over to the other man. "Hello, fancy seeing you dressed up," Johan said. He had a handsome smile on his lips, but he was trying hard not to flirt with the other man.
Johan looked perfectly fine in such a fancy setting, even if he usually was a little more casual than a tux.
Pushing up from the wall he'd been leaning against, Tayne grinned a bit more easily as he was approached and said, "I feel like a duck in a lake full of swans. I don't fit in places like this, man.... But you, you fit in just fine." Because yeah, he looked pretty damn good in the tux. Even comfortable. That wasn't fair, at all. And he still wanted to muss his hair. "How you doin'?"
He had to remind himself that Tayne was 'straight', and that was not a come on in any shape. "I am making money, and I might have a roommate. So, good I guess- you? Can I get you a drink? They serve me free here," Johan offered the other man. He had already downed two glasses of wine, but it didn't show.
"Hey, I'm not gonna turn down a free drink, so sure." Tayne glanced towards the bar, then let Johan lead the way. "Good you guess," he repeated dubiously, but with a smile. "Got a roommate? Who's this? Hell, I didn't even know you were looking for one, did I?"
"Her name is Julianna, she's a book shop keeper or something," Johan said with a light laugh as he helped the other to the bar itself. "I can chat for a few moments, but then I play for a bit more. But I can talk and play at the same time," he offered, his hand brushing the other's hand for a moment. His skin felt like it was inflamed before he grabbed it away and blushed.
Tayne tried not to do the same, too busy with that to even notice the blush-- just the yank back. See? Johan didn't want to touch him. He was very, very straight, right? Right. "I came here to listen to you play, so I'm good with whatever you can do. So you're living with a book shopkeeper? Or is she still only potin-- poten-- only a maybe-roommate? Do you think you'll get on okay?"
Johan looked at the other before getting them two drinks and handing one over. "I start playing jazz soon, so it's my better stuff," he offered with a smile. "and I hope she's the real deal. I need someone to pay rent!" he laughed, not seeing Sean walk towards him.
Though Tayne was more of a country boy, he liked jazz pretty well, too. As long as it wasn't fancy elevator music, he could find something to enjoy in a piano piece, he was sure. "Well, good luck," he said with a smile, though he was eying the bar with a kind of wary interest, too, wondering if someplace like this had anything as simple as a beer or if he had to figure out some kind of mixed drink to order.
"Johan!" Tayne half-turned in surprise to find a large-- larger than him, for sure-- unsteady-looking Irishman bearing down on them, beaming solely at Johan. "Look 'oo showed up at th'fancy bar. Hello, cutie."
Horror snaked it's way into Johan's stomach as his large, drunk ex walked up to him. He and Sean had been hot and heavy for a little while, but the other man had wanted more than just a few fun romps in bed a few nights every week, which at the time Johan hadn't been ready to give. Sensitive and romantic as Johan was, Sean hadn't seem liked Prince Charming material- not like Tayne. His face was pale as the Irishman spoke, and he almost grabbed for Tayne's hand, as if Tayne where his boy friend and could protect him.
That was a lie Tayne could smell a mile away-- Johan knew exactly what he was talking about even if Tayne didn't-- and he looked between the two men in confusion as Johan looked nervous and the big stranger's face fell. "It hasn' been tha' long!" the man protested, reaching for Johan's shoulder and looking hurt. "We had some fun times, a'least, didn' we?"
Johan swallowed thickly, not wanting to look at the other man as he felt his back sweat and his stomach twist. "Sure," he said simply, not wanting the other to make a scene, or for Tayne to catch wind of what 'fun times' meant for them. He didn't really know Tayne's stance on homosexuality, but he had a feeling that the other man wasn't really into the idea of men kissing and laying together like married folks. He knew Tayne wasn't a bigot, but he didn't want to push it. Besides, men always assumed gay men would hit on them- and sure, it was true in Tayne's case, but Johan wanted Tayne as a friend at the end of the day.
"Why're you bein' so cold, cute stuff?" Sean frowned unhappily. "You didn't used to be.... C'mon, we c'd have fun again, right?" The hand on Johan's shoulder squeezed hopefully.
Tayne, finally breaking out of a kind of shocked paralysis, stepped forward. "Everythin' okay, Johan?" he asked, pointedly loud enough to get drunk-guy's attention.
And it did. "Who's this short-ass?" Sean asked, frowning more and sizing Tayne up disdainfully. Tayne flushed but lifted his chin proudly, anyway. He could probably thrash this guy, no matter what his size, after all.
Johan had no idea what Tayne could, or could not do- actually, he had little idea of the real Tayne at all. "I'm at work Sean," he said simply, before Tayne stepped in and spoke. Johan tried to move back, to take Sean's hand away as he attempted not to pale any more, wanting a drink very badly. "It's fine Tayne- old friend," he said simply, hoping that Sean would get the hint and not blurt out something...stupid.
Johan would be having no such luck: even if Tayne hadn't put two and two together already, which he had, Sean was going to make it even more clear. "More than that!" Sean protested, upset, now. "You ashamed of me, Johan? Of us? Is that how it is?"
"I think you ought to find a new bar to visit tonight," Tayne told him firmly, stepping between Sean and Johan neatly.
While the romantic in Johan couldn't help but feel rather good at Tayne playing knight in shining arm that night, this was very, very embarrassing. People hadn't really started to look, but a few had glanced over and cocked their brows. Johan kept his blue eyes fixed on the back of Tayne's head, trying to keep thoughts out of his mind. Normally, after Sean had left, he might had laughed softly called the man his hero and playfully kissed him. But Tayne "wasn't gay" and the water element in Johan hated this situation. He liked peace and calm, he liked safety. And here was Sean, making waves where he shouldn't. "Sean, maybe you should leave".
Sean had bristled at first, but Tayne looked inflexible and utterly confident that he could stop whatever came at him-- and, Sean noticed, even drunk, that the pipsqueak had muscle on him-- and in the face of the firm order and the more sympathetic one from Johan, he went from angry to disappointment. "Johan...."
"If you please," Tayne said again, tense just in case there was a scene.
Johan looked away, almost ashamed of the situation as he closed his eyes and tried not to crack. Usually a decent drama queen, Johan just wanted this to be pushed under the rug, and to go back to getting drinks with Tayne, without any issue or ex boyfriend. The problem was that Johan had never talked about girls before- he'd never talked about exes, or liking an actress. Tayne would have to assume he was homosexual, that this wasn't just some drunk idiot that had been spurned or a fluke.
The ironic part of all that was... neither had Tayne. He might've mentioned that one girl in high school, but for the most part, he had been as mum on the matters of romance and sex as Johan had. Sean, seeing the final denial in Johan's face, stuffed his hands in his pockets, turned, and slouched away towards the door.
Free from the confrontation, Tayne turned to slump into a chair at the bar and ran a hand down his face to make sure he wasn't shaking. He wasn't. Good.
Johan sat next to the other man, his mouth open and his mind moving like sludge. What the hell did you say after an event like that? He certainly didn't know, and now he felt ill. He didn't order anything as he looked at the other man, feeling weak and sick. "Thanks," he finally muttered, thinking that maybe...nothing needed to be said. Maybe Tayne would just pretend this didn't happen, and Johan could go back to dreaming his 'if Tayne were gay' as usual.
"No problem," Tayne answered automatically. He hadn't even thought about it; standing up for people, protection, it was what he did, no questions asked. Even if it wound up being protected from an incident rather than a real danger. And from a... a what? An ex-boyfriend? Tayne felt a little ill, himself. He couldn't afford this. Had Johan already figured him out? Did people who-- who accepted it-- could they tell?
"You're gay, aren't you," he said more than asked. "That--" He waved a hand vaguely at the door the ex-boyfriend had gone through. "That was normal for you, not some random... exp-p-perimenting." He had to practically spit the word to get it out past a stutter.
The way that Tayne said it...didn't sound like a nervous stutter to Johan- it sounded like anger, like fear and trying not to loose his cool. Disgust, and many other emotions that Johan had never, ever wanted associated with his Tayne- no. Not his. Tayne wasn't his, and never would be. At that point, Johan was half considering running after Sean to go sleep with him and just forget this whole night, but he still had some hope.
"Tayne, I'm gay. I've known that since I was in diapers, but I didn't tell you because I assumed that being gay...wasn't something about me that would make you comfortable, okay?"
Disgust? Definitely not. Anger? Well, not really. Fear? Yeah, that was most certainly there. But that was inside, and Tayne was struggling hard to keep his outside from looking like anything, much less like he was panicking. Johan was gay. And hell, yes, it made him uncomfortable-- though most certainly not in the way Johan thought.
He wanted to say something. He should say something. But he couldn't. Words wouldn't come out, for a long moment while he tried to find them, until he finally just said, "I g-gotta go," and pushed himself off of his chair.
The declaration of leaving hurt more than anything, and Johan sat there in emotion pain for a few moments, before finally cursing and go after the other man. It was cool outside, and his coat and tails didn't make running at all fun. Finally he spotted Tayne and shouted his name, coming up from behind. He grabbed the man's arm and turned him around, a little out of breath. "Tayne- I'm still me. I'm still Johan, I just...don't like the girls you probably like. But I'm not going to, I don't know, molest you or something".
The last thing Tayne wanted was to talk, right now. He knew perfectly well he'd be a stuttering mess, and he was too scared, irrationally scared, that Johan would figure him out. Less irrationally, now that he didn't have that "Johan is straight" barrier, he was even more scared he'd-- well, he'd give in. This time, he looked a little afraid, instead of just like he'd shut down, though he was trying to. "I c-c-c-can't talk about it. I c-c-can't. Let me go."
"Tayne...." Johan said, his eyebrows getting closer as he felt something prickle in his throat, like a sob that wanted to come out. "Tayne- no...please. I'm still me, I'm just Johan," he tried. He wasn't clutching the other man anymore, but one hand was still on the other's forearm, hot and calloused.
"I know. I kn-kn-kn-know." After all, Tayne was still Tayne, even if he was all wrong and likely to get himself in deep shit over this kind of thing. He backed up a couple steps out from under Johan's touch, and stammered again, "I g-g-gotta go."
He dropped his arm, defeated as he looked at the other man, unable to talk or breath well thanks to the lump in his throat. "Alright- just please... don't... don't. Never mind," Johan attempted, his head dropping as well, as if in shame. He couldn't look at the other man, he didn't want to Tayne to see how utterly defeated he felt right then. Tayne being straight he could handle- but Tayne not being his friend? That was much harder.
Relieved, still panicky, and feeling absolutely shitty, Tayne tried to think up something to say, largely failed, and turned and fled to his truck at a jog without another word. He needed to get out of here. He needed to get home. Maybe in the morning he'd have forgotten this all ever happened.
Johan watched him leave, finally just sitting on the curb of the club and looked at his hands, remembering what it was like to touch Tayne. He wanted to follow him again, but that didn't seem like a good idea at all. Instead, the blond stood, went back into the bar and spent his work night drinking and playing very long, dark songs.