InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Destiel still isn't canon."

lady_lion (lady_lion) wrote in light_of_may,
@ 2010-01-22 20:21:00

Entry tags:

2009-07-01

On the Prowl
Who: Zenobia and Helene
Where: Helene's House
When: 7:00pm
What: Operation Get Helene Laid

There were a few things that were acceptable and there were things that were really not. On her list of things that were not acceptable the first and foremost that came to mind was ignoring perfectly charming, perfectly sweet, perfectly single beautiful women. More specifically: dismissing beautiful, intelligent single women who were Zenobia’s friends and in serious need of A: a lay or B: a serious relationship to call her own. This could not stand. Would not stand. Was utterly unacceptable and in the name of women scorned – whose fury hell hath nothing on thank you very much – Zena was going to see Helene.

They had a long standing rapport she and Helene which began with buying doughnuts for snack time at Little Miracles and became whatever level of girl-psychic they were now. From the moment Zena called to inquire all the juicy, juicy detail about her ‘trip’ with Gavin to Detroit, the were-lioness had sensed a disturbance in the Romantic Force. Her fears were confirmed by a harrowing tale of fierce and fun flirtation foiled by the jam jar display. (Zena demanded to know if Helene had been wearing her ‘boob shirt’. She had been. Zena determined Gavin was blind.) On the phone she’d been miserable and sad, blaming hallucinogenic shortcomings for Gavin’s preferred interest in condiments. By now that meant she’d gotten over her depression and moved into an enraged session of house scrubbing and was no doubt stewing in her own effluvium of anti-masculine rage. Thoughts like: Fuck that guy! Fuck him and his Y chromosome.

On the behalf of her friend’s twat blockage by fruit preserves, Zena was setting out to make things right tonight. Dressed in a the tightest pair of jeans she owned, her most lethal stiletto heels and a shirt that basically split open from her throat to somewhere just under her sternum, she was out for the hunt and she was bringing her friend with her. She pulled up to Helene’s house on Hilltop and even as she got out of the car the scent of resentment and Pinesol was in the air. Yep. She’d no doubt bleached every inch of this place within an inch of its life. Excellent. All her clothes would be clean. She had no excuses.

Running up the steps to the door, Zena rang the door bell and arms akimbo, brow arched, waited for the door to open. When it did, she didn’t wait.

“Helene, sweetie, dear,” she began, tone brooking no argument. “I love you too much to let you wallow with a bucket of bleach and a toothbrush. We’re going to find you a man who does not get excited about jam. Get your ho clothes.”

(Post a new comment)

greekkitty
2010-01-23 06:51 am UTC (link)

Helene had gotten home from work and made sure the house was spotless. It had been for about two full days, and even Tigger knew not to make a mess. Poor thing though Helene was going insane. After her play time with the dog the other day, the anger had started. Hence the cleaning. She didn't have another outlet for it.

So, she was in a pair of loose cotton shorts, a shapeless tee, her hair tied back up. And there was no bleach or toothbrush. There was all purpose cleaner and a sponge though. She'd been cleaning the kitchen counters. Again.

The doorbell rang and she wiped at her brow. She hadn't been expecting company. But to see Zena on the other side made her grin. They had met when she came into Torte and just hit it off. Just so happened that they were both werecats. It was good to have a friend that she didn't have to keep secrets from.

"My ho clothes?" Her grin widened. "Fine, come in." There was no fighting her when she was like this and Helene didn't mind it. Tigger, of course, went right up to the were and nuzzled against her ankle. "Where am I going in my ho clothes?" She headed up to her bedroom, knowing her friend would follow. Going out, right now, actually was a brilliant idea.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

lady_lion
2010-01-24 08:50 am UTC (link)

“Out,” she announced in a tone a general might have used on a soldier. “Bars. Bars full of men who appreciate boob shirts and high heels. Get into something sexy.”

Having delivered her ultimatum, she scooped Tigger up and nuzzled the little cat affectionately, twiddling her fingers at her white chest fur and cooing. She followed Helene up to her room where she dumped the happy kitty on the bed and surveyed the anal retentive cleanliness with a narrow eye. “Wow. That boy really got you didn’t he? I haven’t seen things near this clean since the Ketchup Incident last year and don’t give me that look. I still didn’t tell anyone about that. Only three people in the world know anything, unless you count that one guy who walked in – Oh! That’s lovely.”

She rifled through Helene’s closet as comfortably as she would her own and held up a slinky black number; eye balling Helene as though for fit. Too dressy for the occasion. She hung it back up. “What you need is a pick me up. Shots first. Some good atmosphere. Some healthy non-jam related flirting and maybe someone to pick you up in a duplicitous sense of the phrase.” She walked back to the bed and joined Tigger on the comforter, poking the little kitty playfully. “And shoes: The ones with the laces ups. Those are perfection and you never wear them.”

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

greekkitty
2010-01-25 02:56 am UTC (link)

Tigger loved it when the other were come over, especially because Zena didn't smell like cleaning solution. She nuzzled the were, purring happily as the attention. It was clear the kitten was thrilled.

Helene turned to look at her friend from the closet and pointed a finger. "A, that was your fault, not mine. B, thought we took care of that guy and C, you swore never to bring it up. You know what you have to do now. Just remember that when I call you out on it later." She smiled as Zena bounded up to look at something in the closet. While it would work, but not quite for tonight. She sighed and thought for a moment.

"I'm not feeling those heels tonight, but I have an idea." Ruffling around, she grabbed a leather skirt she rarely wore and tossed it on the bed and then looked for a top. Took her a few minutes, but she held up a halter top. "How's this?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

lady_lion
2010-01-25 03:29 am UTC (link)

“That,” said Zena, beaming with admiration, “is absolutely perfect. You will stun anything with two eyes and a sex drive, sweetie.” That said, Zena settled back on the bed and eyed her friend with a little smirk. “Point of fact, that is what should have happened in Detroit. As a friend of considerable experiance in this field let me tell you, when you dress to kill, you over kill, sweets. So any failure to launch was entirely a fault that lies with him and him alone.”

This wasn’t flattery; this was an honest truth that several years of observation had impressed upon Zena. Helene had movie-star good looks and a personality that could fill a room, bring up the spirits of everyone around her through sheer force of charisma. She was number one on Zena’s list for ‘life of the partyers’. The converse of that was – when she was in the mood – Helene could be a downright hellcat (literally if she wanted to take it that far) and a downer to any mood. Knowing that, Zena always made a point to get the woman in a good goddamn mood quick as possible.

“Hun, I know how much you liked Gavin,” said Zena after a moment, warmly and sympathetically as possible. “But I’m going to tell you right now a piece of wisdom that I know you need to hear.” Very seriously she sat forward on the bed, looked her friend steadily in the eye and said in a tone of perfect solemn import: “That man had a fabulous ass. However, ass not withstanding, he was an idiot and has missed out on alla this.” (Here she waved generally up and down Helene’s figure.) “Alla this, right here. So, no thinking about Mr. Jam and Toast tonight. Tonight is about you, you, and fabulous you. Got it?”

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

greekkitty
2010-01-25 04:09 am UTC (link)

Helene leaned against her dresser for a moment and sighed. In her head, she knew her friend was right. Other than physically throwing herself at him, there really wasn't much else she could have done to get him to act. He just wasn't interested. Took two viewings of that damn movie to get it through her head too. And that was frustrating. She'd thought she'd seen one thing in him and it turned out to be the exact opposite. That hurt. A lot.

But it was something she had to get over. She needed to move on, to be happy again. At Zena's words, she smiled softly. "I know, sweetie. I do, really. Just stings a little still." Taking a deep breath, she tugged her hair out of her elastic. "I don't smell like cleaning solution, right?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

lady_lion
2010-01-28 03:37 am UTC (link)

“Hon, if you smell like Pinesol and you look like you usually do in a halter top and mini, there isn’t a man alive who will complain. Go get some body butter if it bugs you personally though.”

There was something of a muffled quality to Helene’s enthusiasm, a sure sign that ‘stings a little’ meant an emotional sucker punch, possibly straight to the ovaries. Zena sympathized with Helene’s gloom. Her friend was feeling the obligatory pull of age, having moved out of her twenties now and into her thirties without a solid significant other to call her own she was feeling pangs.

Zena was one to poke and prod, so she’d pieced together that some of these feelings were probably still residual funk from her ruinous relationship with her previous fiance and a lot of it was just plain worry that no one would have her. (Which was some kinda bullshit, but there ya were.) The were-lioness had already reverted to default best friend mode: 100% complimentary and ego-boosting at all times. She grinned lasciviously from her spot on the bed, drawling, “We are heading out to one of the swankest bar in Ann Arbor: gritty enough for the bad boys, ritzy enough to at least keep the broke losers out, the pickings are good, hon. Get your game face on!”

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

greekkitty
2010-01-28 10:30 pm UTC (link)

Over the past few years, she'd been through her share of life experiences. And Edward leaving her when he found out what she was ended up leaving more emotional scars than she cared to admit. Ones that Zena knew about and that she'd hoped Gavin would be the one to help heal. But that wasn't the case. So she was a little timid about getting out there once more. Her friend, she knew, wouldn't let her become a recluse and there was that constant ticking in her head. There was hope there, but with each passing year, it diminished a little. Perhaps she wasn't meant for a family.

Those were not thoughts for tonight. Zena looked killer and she'd just picked out an outfit for herself that was equally enticing. It was time to get dolled up and forget for a while. She sent a quick text to her nephew, informing he was in charge of opening tomorrow and she would be in during the afternoon. That wasn't something she wanted looming over her head.

She slipped into the bathroom to find her favorite lotion, but left the door open as she slipped out of her cleaning clothes and into black lace. "So what brought on the need for ho clothes?" she asked, glancing sideways at her friend still lounging on her bed, looking every bit the comfortable, sexy cat she was. Helene admired that about her.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

lady_lion
2010-01-28 11:11 pm UTC (link)

Zena shot her a sideways look, arching a dark perfectly curved brow. “You need an occasion for ho clothes? Oh, hon, I love you but the Puritanical trend to your thoughts, tsk, tsk, tsk.” She sprawled with exaggeratedly playful ‘sexiness’, pouting her lips ridiculously and scrunching her tawny curls with mock wantonness. “I am a creature of the hunt and the darkness! I demand the attention of men and I demand it now. My occasion, dear, is my boredom and your misery which I will not stand for.” She snorted a little. “And I knew if I let you go on you’d scrub every inch of this house, then move on to poor Tigger here.”

She reached over picked up the little cat, holding her up and smiling. “And I couldn’t let that happen could I, sweetie? No I couldn’t. No I couldn’t. Your just too cute. Yes you are.” She nuzzled the fuzzy little animal again, abandoning her wanton act in favor of perfectly sugary babytalk. “Aww! Yes you are! Yes you are!” He shot the bathroom a dirty look. “And hurry up you! We’ve got jello shots to down before eight! If I’m not buzzed in less than an hour I will be displeased.”

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

greekkitty
2010-01-29 12:41 pm UTC (link)

She let out a soft noise of objection. "I'm not Puritanical!" she protested as she rubbed lotion on to her skin. Helene stood at the sink, picking through her make up to find some eyeshadow when she glanced back at Zena. "I would never scrub Tigger. Besides, I'm pretty sure she's mad we haven't gone for a run in the woods lately. As for the attention of men, suppose I don't demand it as much as someone thinks I should." Turning back to the mirror, she applied shadow, eyes soon smoky and hopefully going to meet with her friend's approval.

Helene moved back into her bedroom as she watched Tigger respond favorably to being spoiled with attention. "I'm hurrying, woman. Breathe." She slid the leather skirt up her hips and then came the halter. Moving to her dresser, she opened the wooden box and pulled out a simple black bracelet and picked through her earrings before deciding on a pair. "And, I would like to remind you that you were the one who showed up unceremoniously demanding me and my ho clothes less than a half hour ago. It takes time to look this good." Smiling, she pulled on a pair of black pumps and went back to the clothes, reaching up to grab a clutch. She's had to get her things from her purse downstairs, but for the most part, she was ready to go.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

lady_lion
2010-02-01 01:40 am UTC (link)

“I tease. I love you. You ready to go? Because all I want to do is blow this Pinesol scented popsicle stand and get the hell out of here.” Zena grinned and dumped Tigger on the bed, bending down to coo in the sweetest baby voice ever, “Zena and mommy Helene are going out to get outselves some single hotness, yes we are. Yes we are! And then we’re not coming home until the crack of dawn and mommy’s gonna bring strange men home and bang their brains out yes she is.” She snuggled the kitty. “Yesh she is and she’s not gonna argue about it. No. She’s not.”

Zena turned around, hands on hips to her now fully dressed partner in crime. “No,” she said militantly. “She’s not. Let’s go get our drink on, love. I’ll drive.” She swept out of the bed room and down the stairs while Helene, looking like a diva and ready to bring Troy’s Trojans – an every man she met tonight – to their knees. Excellent. She waited while her friend collected a few things from her purse then together they left the house and piled into the car. “Sweetie. I will not rest until you’ve had the best night ever. On my honor.” A grin. Then she gunned her car into the reverse and peeled out of the driveway.

(Reply to this) (Parent)