prettyflowers (prettyflowers) wrote in light_of_may, @ 2010-01-05 23:17:00 |
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Entry tags: | 2009-06-28 |
lie to me and tell me that it's gonna be alright
Who: Autumn and Rigby
When: Afternoon
Where: Phone, Autumn's hospital room, Autumn's house
Autumn had been thinking for a couple of days about calling her mom to tell her about the demon attack. She was hoping that a near death experience would be enough for her mother to see the error of her ways and accept Autumn back into the family. It was absolutely terrifying to think about calling her and Autumn knew she didn't want to be alone to do it.
As great and awesome as Graham had been, Autumn felt like he wouldn't be so understanding of her trying to reconcile with her mother. Moreso than anything, Autumn missed her mother's motherly advice - she missed her sister's companionship. So if Graham was out, Autumn really only had two other people to rely on: Ben and Rigby. She didn't feel close enough to Ben for him to be there while she had what could turn into a very emotional conversation with her mother. Rigby it was then. And really, he'd been Autumn's first choice, but she didn't want to appear too needy to him. Plus, things had gone decidedly awful the last time he visited and she still felt awful about that.
Drumming up the courage, Autumn dialed Rigby's cell phone number, praying he would answer. When he did, she almost cried with relief. "Rigby? It's Autumn... I have a favor to ask of you and I feel really horrible asking, but I just don't have anyone else that would understand." She spoke in a rush, the words jumbling up on themselves in her nervousness. Part of her fully expected him to say no, especially with the shenanigans of his last visit.
Rigby had been strumming his guitar idly when his cell phone rang. It seemed like people were calling him all the time now - two calls in just as many days was a first. More often than not, anyone who had the number, of which there were only a few, just left a message and he called them back whenever he got it, usually a few days after the fact. He still found it strange to be in contact with people, realizing that there was someone who might actually want to talk to him.
He'd saved Autumn's number into the phone after yesterday's excursion to the hospital, a trip that was as misguided as it was well-intentioned, so he knew it was her when he answered it. "Autumn," he said, setting down his guitar for a second and leaning back into the couch. "A favor? Sure, what's up? Is everything okay?"
Was she still in the hospital? He didn't know when she was being released and he'd figured Graham would punch him in the face as soon as he was well enough to, so Rigby was going to wait until they wanted him around to stop by again. If nothing else, Rigby knew when to keep his distance, but if Autumn was asking him to come by, then he would. No questions asked.
As soon as Autumn heard his voice, she felt an instance sense of calm and warmth. She scrubbed a hand down her face, already questioning if she should involve him in this. Deciding to bite the bullet and go with her instinct, Autumn took a deep breath before continuing. "I want to call my mom...to let her know about the attack. I don't know if she'll speak with me and I just need someone for moral support. Do you mind being here while I call her?"
Even though her mother and sister had completely disowned her after her father died, Autumn was still hopeful that they could reconnect. They had absolutely devastated Autumn, left deep scares that would never go away - but they were still her family. She'd loved them and adored them for her entire life and it was hard to just flip a switch and not love them anymore.
Her family. Rigby knew enough of the story, both from her thoughts and what she'd told him, to know that her calling home might not end well. He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed.
"Yeah, I can be there." Of course he'd be there if Autumn wanted him to be. Maybe it was the kind of thing Graham should have been there for, but if nothing else, Rigby knew all about dealing with families that didn't exactly want you around. His reaction had been different than Autumn's, of course, but she was his friend and she'd have his help if she needed it. "Where are you? Still at the hospital?"
Autumn sighed with relief when he said he'd be there. "Thank you, Rigby." Hopefully even though the phone, he could tell just how much it meant to her that he would be there for her. "Yeah, I'm still at the hospital." She hesitated, cradling the phone between her shoulder and cheek so she could wring her hands together. "And, uh, Graham's not here. He was released. I don't expect him back today." He'd visited her earlier but left and he was not really the type to come see her twice in one day.
"Ain't no trouble." And it wasn't. As she spoke he was already moving, putting his guitar back in its case and fishing his keys out of his pocket. "And got it." He paused, "Don't you be worryin' 'bout me and Graham, we'll figure it out. Just didn't want to step on no one's toes or nothin' by comin' to see you." Autumn was his friend after all, and damn if Graham wouldn't keep him from seeing a friend. "I can be there in like... 20 minutes? Don't remember how long it took me to get there, last time."
Autumn sighed, hating that she was apparently coming between friends. It was never her intention. "I'm sorry things are so awkward," she apologized. Until their visit, she'd had no idea there had been a conversation about her in Detroit. Part of her wondered why Rigby would even try to stand up for her or worry about her with Graham. But then after finding out about Graham's drug use, she maybe kinda understood. "Take your time, Rigby. See you soon."
"Ain't your fault, don't go thinkin' it is. I'll see you it a bit." And it really wasn't, it was more so that Rigby had stepped in where he didn't belong. If Graham and Autumn were happy together then fine, they could be happy, he had nothing against that. He was just trying to see what Graham's intentions were and what was going on, how this all fit together. But it was out of his hands and they were adults and just because he knew everything didn't mean it was his place to act on it. Sometimes, Rigby forgot about that.
Just like last time, he brought his guitar with him into the hospital, ignoring the looks the nurses gave him. He didn't get in trouble for it last time, he wouldn't get in trouble for it now, either. There wasn't a nurse at the station to sign in so he went up to Autumn's room directly, running into the nurse as she was leaving Autumn's room.
"I'm just goin' to see her," he said, pointing inside the room.
"Sure, honey, just let me know what your name is." At least this nurse smiled, nicer than the ones he'd met last time he was here.
"Rigby." He went to step inside, but her hand on his arm stopped him.
"First name?"
He sighed. Autumn could probably hear them talking in her doorway. "Garrett. Garrett Rigby."
Smiling, the nurse left, and Rigby shook his head, peaking inside the room. In retrospect, he should have gone back to get Suri, but he could return with her if Autumn wanted later. Right now it was about making sure Autumn was going to be okay, and Rigby would help with that however he could. "Hey," he said, coming to sit next to her. "How're you doin'?"
When she hung up, Autumn got one of the nurses to help her into a shower to wash her hair. She'd just slipped into a fresh hospital gown (Graham not having thought to bring her any clothes) and back into bed when she heard him at the door. She'd not had time to dry her hair or put on any make up and she knew she was pale from the pain the shower had caused.
Regardless of any pain she felt, she grinned as Rigby came in and she found out his first name. "Your name is Garrett? I like that!" Despite the pain, she leaned forward and hugged him, wrapping her arms tight around his neck. "I'm so glad you came... I really appreciate it." She breathed him in, feeling safe and cared for with him.
Sitting back she smiled, "So the nurse thinks I'm ready to go home. The doctor had an emergency this morning, so he's making his rounds later this afternoon and may let me go home!" She was excited to get back to her home, the beautiful house that she'd made for herself. Her home was her pride and joy and she had never quite realized how good it made her feel until she spent a few nights in the hospital. And of course, she missed Suri like crazy. That little puppy had managed to worm her way into Autumn's heart and Autumn wouldn't have it any other way.
He made a bit of a face when she mentioned his name, though Rigby hugged her back, letting her hold him as tight as she wanted. She was in a lot of pain, but it seemed like Autumn didn't particularly care. "Now there's two people in Scarlet Oak who know what it is," he said, smiling at her as he pulled back. "Just don't get mad if'n I don't answer to it." He hadn't introduced himself as Garrett since he was a teenager. "Of course I'd come, you really didn't think I'd be leavin' you here, did you?"
It was obvious how excited Autumn was to go home, even without hearing her thoughts about it. Rigby didn't blame her - after all, who wanted to be in the hospital, seriously? "That's great news. If'n you want, I can drive you back that way, ain't no trouble to me." Since he was already here, he could hang around until the doctor showed up. He could handle the thoughts of everyone here until then, and it wasn't as bad as yesterday. Apparently a lot of the people brought in on account of the demon attacks were being sent home too.
"Ohh, I'm one of two people?" Autumn squealed. She clapped delightedly. "I'll keep it a secret, I promise." She gave him a winning smile, glad that he somewhat trusted her with his real name. It made her feel closer to him.
"I wasn't sure if you'd want to come back. I really am sorry about Graham. I had no idea things were tense between y'all or I wouldn't have asked you to come." She looked down at her hands, embarrassed. She knew that Rigby knew about their adventures in Detroit and she wondered if he thought of her a slut or something. She wasn't, in the least... but Graham just made her feel special. "I don't know what to do about him... I just found out right before you came with Suri, that he had cocaine in his system. I had no idea he used drugs. As much as I hate it, there's just something about him that draws me to him. I think I want to fix him, even though I know that's not a good basis for a relationship, if that's even what it is." Autumn sighed deeply and looked at him guiltily. "I'm so sorry I just unloaded all that on you. You don't need to hear about my relationship problems."
When he said he'd stick around and take her home, she beamed. "Thank you, Rigby! You're really sweet." She blushed a bit when she realized all the clothes she had were the ones she was brought in with. They were bloody and torn up, but again, Graham hadn't thought to bring her clothes. Autumn was a bit embarrassed for Rigby to see her in such ratty attire, but oh well - she didn't have any other options.
"You and Fina." And Rigby had every intention of keeping it at just Autumn and Fina, too. It wasn't like his name was some big secret, but it was, somehow, very personal to him. It was the name of the scared kid who fled Savannah, almost bleeding to death in the back of his mother's car. "And of course I trust ya, Autumn. You're one of the few friends I got."
He shrugged, running a hand over his hair. "Don't be. Graham ain't got no idea what I am, y'know. I just - I wanted to make sure y'all knew what you were doin'. That nobody got hurt." He managed a shrug, looking up at her sheepishly. "So really, I'm guessin' it's my fault, sticking myself where I don't belong. And yeah, I knew 'bout the cocaine, but I know Graham's a decent guy, deep down. He's a bit like me, a nomad. But you're both adults and if'n this what you want, then you'll figure it out." Just like he and Fina would figure out what to do in the future. One thought caught him a bit off guard, and he blinked. "Autumn, I don't think you're a slut. And if'n you need someone to talk to you, you know I'm here. Ain't got much advice to give on that front, and you know it, but at least I can listen."
Rigby looked over at her, the fact that she was still in a hospital gown, and noticing her flickered thought about torn and bloodied clothes. "Ain't no trouble," he said. "Graham didn't bring you any clothes?" He paused, "I mean, I got all of my stuff in the truck, if'n you wanted to borrow somethin' til we got back. They'll be big on you, but at least they're clean."
"I'm glad," she said regarding him trusting her. "You're one of my only friends here too." She reached over and squeezed his hand briefly before laying back on her nest of pillows.
"Can I be honest? I had no idea what I was getting into with him. I didn't expect anything. We met at work and it was just like an instant connection." Autumn's cheeks grew warm as she blushed deeply. "I thought he'd be a good way to forget about how lonely I was. But now, it's become more and I'm in so deep but I don't know if it's a good thing for me. He's a drug addict. I can't have that around my baby." She broke eye contact with Rigby and looked down at her hands fidgeting in her lap. "And I think he's slept with another woman - or a vampire, I should say - since we've been together. It shouldn't hurt, because we've not even talked about what we are - a couple, fuck buddies - who know. But it did hurt, him coming back to my place smelling like another woman." It made her feel a little foolish that she didn't know about Graham and what he was really like. She still felt an overwhelming attraction for him and she still cared about him a lot - she wanted to make sure he was okay - but she wish she would have known. She could have protected her heart a little bit.
If it was possible, Autumn's cheeks got redder, hotter as her blush deepened. "I just know how it looks... me being pregnant and then immediately hooking up as soon as I get in town. I just don't want you to think badly of me." She groaned and covered her face with her hands. "Ugh, listen to me going on and on. I'm sorry - I'm stopping now."
At the mention of him having some clothes in his truck, she perked up. "That would be great.. thank you so much." She didn't know what she'd do without Rigby.
He squeezed her hand back and let go, sitting back a little in his chair. "That's - kind of how Graham is," he said. "Sometimes you know when thinks work with people, y'know? Ain't never expected Fina to feel the way she does 'bout me after I left LA. You got a lot to consider, ain't somethin' to do lightly." Autumn had the baby and while Rigby knew Graham was a good guy, deep down, he didn't see him wanting to be a father, either. But that was between Autumn and Graham - if Graham was still here when the baby was born. Hell, if Rigby was still here, he couldn't guarantee that either. And Graham had slept with a vampire? "Shit, I didn't know that," he murmured softly. After all, it wasn't like he could pick through a person's thoughts and know everything; he only knew what they were thinking at the time. "Autumn, I'm sorry." And Graham thought he was the one
Rigby shook his head. "And I'm tellin' you not to worry 'bout it. I don't think bad of you, promise." She was human, they all were. And human beings did human things. What she did with her body was her choice.
"Not a problem. Even if it ain't the most fashionable of clothing, you get a choice between flannel and t-shirt and more flannel. I live in my truck, so you can probably find somethin' in there that will work." If it would help, of course Autumn was welcome to it.
Autumn sighed, "I guess I do have a lot to think about. I feel like it's all that I've been thinking about. Anyway I slice it, we're going to end up hurt though." Again Autumn covered her face with her hands, groaning into them. "Gah! It'd be so much simpler if I had a nice boy like you."
Before that could be dwelled on, Autumn took her hands away from her face and rested them in her lap again. "Wait a minute... I thought you were staying at Fina's! If you need somewhere to go, you're always welcome at my house, Rigby. I don't want to think of you living in your truck!" Graham was living there for the moment, but who knew how long that was going to last. And she had another guest room and bathroom, so Rigby could have his own space.
He sighed. The last thing he wanted to see was either of them getting hurt, but relationships tended to do that. It had happened to him and Fina, too. "You'll figure it out, I promise. And if'n you need someone to talk to, you know where to find me." At the thought of him being a nice guy, Rigby just raised an eyebrow, "I come with my own set of problems, don't you think otherwise." Like his wanderlust, the ability to get up and leave at a moment's notice. Rigby didn't necessarily like that fact about him, now that he had Fina to consider, but it was a part of who he was.
Rigby gave her a small smile, surprised she hadn't realized this earlier. "I am stayin' with Fina, for the moment. She doesn't like the idea of me sleepin' in my truck either, but it ain't like I got my own place or nothin'. Hell, I ain't even brought any of my stuff into Fina's. I'll keep the offer in mind, though." Even if Graham didn't want him there, which would probably be the case. Rigby hadn't realized Autumn had that much space in her house.
Autumn gave Rigby a smile, "Thank you, Rigby. It means a lot to me that we're friends." She scoffed when he said he came with his own set of problems. His problems, not that she saw that he had any, would be more what she could deal with than Graham's.
Autumn was quite surprised to find out that he hadn't brought his stuff into Fina's. She had just figured he was staying there - it seemed only natural to her. "Seriously, you are totally welcome at my house. I'd love for you to stay and you'd have your own space. Just think about it - the offer is always open." It'd be fun having him around - although the tension with he and Graham might be a bit much, but Graham wasn't around that much anyway, so maybe it wouldn't be so bad.
She reached over to the end table and got her phone. She sighed deeply before looking to Rigby. "You ready for this? Just a warning...things may not turn out so well with this phone call." Even though she'd been telling herself not to get her hopes up that things would go well, she had. She had such high hopes that they could reconcile.
"No problem. That's what friends are for, right?" Rigby, being what he was, didn't have a lot of friends in general, and perhaps he'd already fucked up his friendship with Graham for good. At least Autumn didn't seem mad at him.
Yes, Rigby was staying with Fina, but he didn't want to officially "move in" with her. Fina had to force him to take a key to the place and even still, he didn't keep it on his key ring. He didn't like being in the apartment when Fina wasn't there; it didn't feel right. After all, he wasn't the one paying the rent for the place, she was. Even though they were together now, Rigby was wondering when something was going to go wrong, when it all wouldn't be so idyllic. "If'n I need it, I'll let you know," he said, tipping an imaginary hat towards her.
"I'm ready if you are." He couldn't imagine this phone call going well, though he did hope it did. Calling family out of the blue, with something as drastic as a demon attack, never worked out in the long run. But maybe her mother would listen. And Rigby would be there for either outcome. "You just let me know what you need from me."
Why would Autumn be mad at Rigby? For all she knew is he was just trying to protect her... she would never get mad at him for that. It felt nice that someone actually cared about her for a change. So many people in her life who she thought cared about her apparently had no problem turning their back on her, so she was glad Rigby seemed to still be here for her.
"I don't want you sleepin' in your truck now," Autumn warned him. "If you even think of that, you drive on over to my house. There's no reason for you to sleep in your truck when my guest room has a nice comfy bed for you." She put extra force behind the words so he'd know she was serious and he could show up at any time.
"Just keep my phone from being thrown against the wall if things don't go well... and a shoulder to cry on too," Autumn asked, her voice small. Logically she knew this phone call was a bad idea, but something in her heart told her it was important that she make the effort. So she was going to and just hope for the best.
She took a deep breath and punched in the all too familiar numbers to her house in Tifton, Georgia. The phone rang once, twice and then a third time. Her heart was beating off the charts and her palms were sweating. She glanced to Rigby, her eyes wide and scared. Finally on the fourth ring her mother answered the phone.
"Mom? It's Autumn - Please don't hang up," Autumn begged. Her body sagged back into the pillows with relief that her mother had at least answered the phone. Autumn hadn't been sure she'd do that much.
Hearing her mother breathing on the other end of the line was the only indication Autumn had that she was still on the phone and listening. Even though her mother had yet to speak to her, Autumn felt a glimmer of hope that things might turn out okay... after all, she hadn't hung up the phone yet.
"I just wanted to let y'all know that I'm in the hospital. I was attacked a few days ago - have some broken ribs, a punctured lung and a swollen spleen. They had to operate to repair my lung. I-I'm doing better now though." Autumn held the phone tighter against her ear to make sure her mother hadn't hung up yet. There had been no change in her breathing, no startled murmur, no indication at all that she'd heard a thing Autumn had said.
"You still there, momma?" Again, silence. Autumn could hear her breathing still and moving around in the kitchen, so she figured she was at least still listening. "The baby is okay," she whispered. Instinctively she put a hand on her stomach as if protecting her baby from the his/her grandmother.
"Was it one of them demon attacks?" her mother finally asked, acid dripping from the word demon, as if it left a bitter taste in her mouth.
Autumn swallowed hard and squeezed her eyes shut. "Yeah, mom, it was a demon attack," she sighed. She reached out blindly for Rigby's hand and held on for dear life at her mother's reaction to that.
"Serves you right then. God's way a'punishing you. You ain't right and God's gonna take care of that... take care a'you. He goin' to get rid of all you supernaturals and you'll go straight down to hell. Abomination is what you are," her mother ranted. Tears seeped out from Autumn's tightly closed eyes as the hate spewed from her mother. "As far as I'm concerned, I only have me one daughter and she in college and livin' wit me. Don't you call here again, girl. You ain't wanted." And with that, her mother hung up the phone.
Autumn sat there, squeezing the hell out of Rigby's hand before she lowered the phone. She didn't think that hearing it the second time would hurt as much but it almost hurt worse than the first time. Tears continued to stream down her face and she struggled to control her breathing. Finally the heart and oxygen monitor alarms went off and nurses came flying in. They lowered the bed and put an ambu bag over Autumn's nose and mouth until her breathing became regulated again and her heart rate was back to normal.
"What happened here?" the nurse asked Rigby, giving him a stern look as if he were the one to upset Autumn so.
Rigby grinned; that caring nature was the exact reason why he knew she'd be a good mother someday. "Don't be worryin' 'bout me and my truck," he said. "If I need a place, I'll come by. I promise."
He just nodded. Rigby could be both of those things. He didn't know if Autumn was making the right choice to call, but sometimes you had to be the one to take the high road, do the right thing. Letting her mama know what happened, that was the right thing. Even if the woman was a bitch, Rigby likely would have done the same thing. But then again, his relationship with his mother had been much different than Autumn's.
So he sat back, and he listened. He could hear her mother on the other end of the phone, catching bits and pieces. The one that stood out in his head the loudest - You ain't right and God's gonna take care of that - set his face in a grimace. Her mother and his father, if they ever deemed up, would make one fucked up pair to deal with. What made her think she could treat her own daughter that way?
"Autumn," he murmured, letting her take his hand. She could squeeze it as hard as she wanted, he didn't mind. He would have hugged her, but he didn't want to hurt her, so he wiped away the tears he could. "Autumn, breathe. C'mon, I know it hurts, just - slow breaths." Apparently he couldn't talk her through it, when all the monitors went off and the nurses showed up, trying to get her heart rate down and her breathing back to normal.
The head nurse's mind was sharp, and cold, as much as a mind could be. She was all business, all the time, and of course she would have thought he'd done something wrong. "She called her mama," he said, "and it didn't go well. She's been through a lot and if'n she's breathin' all right, I'm sure Autumn would appreciate y'all givin' her some space. Right?" He looked over at Autumn for confirmation, just a nod of the head would do.
The only thing Autumn heard was Rigby's voice and she latched onto it like a lifeline. She struggled to control her breathing and finally felt relatively normal again, like her heart wasn't going to jump clear out of her chest. Through it all she held onto Rigby's hand, needing something to assure her that there were people in this world that cared about her, even when her own mother didn't.
When Autumn heard Rigby's question she nodded her head. She tried to speak through the mask covering her mouth and nose, "I'm fine now. Small anxiety attack... all is good now." She waited until the nurses left the room before her gaze ventured to Rigby. She raised her bed up and scooted over. "Will you sit with me? Hold me?" She didn't care if it hurt, she needed it right then.
Her head was spinning and her mother's voice was echoing over and over. That Autumn wasn't wanted, she only had one daughter, she was going to hell, she was an abomination. Those phrases were racing through one after the other. She'd known the phone call probably wasn't going to go well and she'd thought she'd prepared herself for the worst but apparently not. Autumn felt as if her heart was ripped into shreds.
"I don't have a family." It dawned on her that these last couple of months, she'd been acting like and referring to her family as if she'd just moved away after an argument or something. The reality hit her full in the stomach today though: she didn't have a family. Her father was dead. A mother was someone who nurtured and loved their children; so she definitely didn't have a mother. And her sister, while not directly mean and hurtful, she did nothing but stand by and watch as the rest of the family tore Autumn to shreds. Autumn cried again, softer this time, her thoughts all over the place but the one thing that she kept repeating was: What had she done to deserve this?
He met the nurse's stare, cold and unflinching, until they were finally out of the room. When he looked over at Autumn, his eyes were much softer; he didn't need to be an empath to know what she was feeling. "Yeah," he said, lowering the rail of the bed so he could climb into it with her. "C'mere." He tucked Autumn against him, hoping she knew he was there for her if she needed him. To cry, to rant, whatever, he could handle it. She'd know if it hurt for him to do this and he let her find the most comfortable position, running a hand up and down her arm to comfort her.
As her mother's voice echoed through Autumn's head, it rang through Rigby's as well. All it did was piss him off. Who had the fucking right to be so mean to another person? He'd never understand it. Just like he couldn't understand the way his father could have abused his mother so - it didn't make any sense, at all. Every little flickering thought that passed through her mind, Rigby had to fight the urge to grimace.
"Autumn." He wasn't quite sure what to say, but he had to try anyway, anything he could do to help her. He hated to see her so upset like this. "You didn't do nothin' wrong, you hear me? You are what you are, and if they can't understand that, then they don't deserve you. You understand me?" Rigby paused, thinking. "I've always been of the idea that family's what you make of it. Just 'cause someone's blood doesn't mean they're family. We make our own connections, our own relationships. Our own family."
After all, he hadn't spoken to his father in years, and had no plans to do so. Ever. His mother had been dead for a long time, too; Rigby too was without a "traditional" family. But he had a few close friends, Autumn among them, and Fina, and he knew who he could rely on. It wasn't the same, but to him, it worked.
Autumn sat there, curled into Rigby and listened to him talk, to his heart beat. It was oddly comforting when she felt like her life was falling down around her. Maybe moving to Scarlet Oak hadn't been a good idea. It seemed it only added more stress to her life than anything. If she'd stayed in Tifton and fought for her family, maybe she'd have them.
Then again, did she even want a family who could turn their back on her so easily for being who she was? She didn't think so. Autumn placed a hand on her stomach and made a silent promise to her baby that she would never treat him/her like her family had treated her. Rigby had a point - a family didn't have to be connected by blood alone. She could build a homegrown family for herself. She squeezed Rigby in thanks for reminding her of that. She and her baby were already a family.
Autumn felt like such a failed mother already. Not only would her baby not know her daddy, but he/she wouldn't know her grandfather, grandmother or aunt. she was bringing a baby into the world with absolutely no family except for her. All of a sudden she felt completely overwhelmed by the magnitude of bringing a child into the world all on her own. And she was, completely and utterly alone. The thought of that had her curling into Rigby more, her hot tears soaking through his shirt. As much as she cringed at the fleeting thought - it wasn't too late to terminate the pregnancy. As soon as the thought flew through her head, she hated herself. She couldn't do that to her baby, the baby she already loved. "I'm such a bad person," she whispered into Rigby's chest.
Rigby didn't think her moving to Scarlet Oak was a bad idea. Staying around people like that, people who didn't want you - how was that a good thing? Her mother was family only in blood, not in actions. Not anymore. At least, that was the way Rigby saw it.
Autumn had the baby to worry about now, and he believed she'd be a good mother. It took time, and there was a lot to figure out, you didn't figure out this parenting stuff overnight, but it would happen. Rigby knew exactly what circumstances had brought about his own existence - a one night stand - and he'd seen how his mother had adapted to having him around. Hell, he'd heard every flicker of doubt that went through his mama's brain when he was a kid. He'd known she was scared. He'd known she thought she couldn't do this on her own. But she had, and he was still here, more or less in one piece.
He adjusted his hold on her, rubbing a hand down her back. He'd caught that thought too - she wouldn't get rid of the baby. He knew she wouldn't. "You're not a bad person," he murmured. "You're scared and the world is hell and you're just tryin' to figure out where to go from here. Everybody goes through somethin' like that. Just remember you got friends who are there for ya. I'm here. And Graham." Well, he hoped Graham was there for her anyway. "You just let me know how I can help and I'll be here. You know it."
Autumn hugged her arms around his waist and tried to stop crying. She didn't know what she'd do without Rigby and Graham. She'd never really had close friends other than her sister. She was always the one who was there for other people but never had that reciprocation. She hoped that Rigby knew it was a two way street, that she was there for him every bit as much as he'd been there for her.
A nurse popped her head in to check on Autumn. "I'm fine - it was just a panic attack - I'm all good now."
The nurse tsked when she saw Rigby laying there, but Autumn only tightened her arms around him and glared at the nurse, who quickly backed off. Another nurse came in rolling the vitals cart with her. She made Autumn unwrap an arm so she coud take Autumn's blood pressure. As she was finishing up the doctor came in to see how Autumn was doing. After a brief conversation the doctor told her she could go home. Autumn signed her release papers and just like that was released.
"Home," she sighed. "I can't wait to get back." She turned her face up to Rigby, a hopeful look on her face. "You sure you don't mind driving me? And letting me borrow some clothes? I can call Graham. He's working but I know he'd take off to come pick me up if you have something else to do." She slowly untangled herself from him, brushing at the tear stains on his shirt. "Sorry about that." She looked sheepish at having blubbered all over him. She still wasn't okay and probably wouldn't be for a while, but knowing that Rigby was there for her helped her a lot.
"Thank you so much for everything," Autumn said. She leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "You don't know how much your friendship means to me."
If she needed to cry, then she could cry, Rigby wasn't going to judge her. She'd been through a lot, and she was allowed. And, while it was unlikely he'd go to anyone with his problems - he was more apt to just get in his truck and drive away if it ever came to that - he knew he could go to her, too. It had been a very long time since Rigby had any of those options, having been on his own for so long.
Had Rigby had a hand free, he might have flipped the nurse off. It wasn't like he was Autumn's boyfriend, but Christ, this was another reason why he hated hospitals, everyone was so uptight about everything. And he could hear that they were so uptight and it drove him nuts. But that was neither here nor there, and he let go of Autumn enough so they could check her vitals, making sure she was ready to go home.
"'Course I don't mind," he said, managing a smile for her. "Wouldn't have offered if it was gonna be a problem. My afternoon's free for you if'n you need me." The tear stains on his shirt didn't bother him, they'd dry eventually. He'd certainly gotten worse things on his clothes before; they tended to have a rough life with him. "Don't be worryin' 'bout it. You want me to grab you clothes or you want to just get somethin' when we get to the truck?"
He smiled a little as she kissed his cheek; she was a sweetheart, she really was. "And you're welcome. Always will be. Good to have a friend or two, y'know?" He got up from the bed and stretched, raising his arms above his head.
Autumn watched as he slid off the bed and stretched. She resisted the urge to run her fingers along the patch of skin that appeared when his shirt rode up while stretching. He wasn't free for the touching, she had to remind herself. "If you don't mind getting them now, that'd be great," she answered. "Otherwise, I'd have to wear a hospital gown out to the truck and I don't think that'd be the cutest look." She managed a watery smile for him, grateful beyond words that he was there for her.
She wanted to touch him and Rigby wasn't quite sure why, but he shook the thought off. Not something he was going to worry about right now. "My jeans won't fit you," he said, "so I'll bring up a couple shirts to pick from. Won't be gone long." With a smile, he left the room, remembering to tell the nurse he'd be right back. After all, Autumn had his guitar, and he wasn't leaving without the girl or the instrument.
It took him a couple minutes, but he found two of his cleanest flannel shirts and a tee that was actually a little small for him, but it had a screenprint of a phoenix on it and he kind of liked it regardless. Tucking them under his arm, he made his way back to Autumn's room and knocked on the door. "Will any of these work?" he asked, holding them out to her.
While he was gone, Autumn had slipped into her cutoff jean shorts even though they were ripped and bloody. She puttered around her room, making sure her few belongings were together on the bed. Graham had forgotten the Taboo game and she had her completely useless shirt. The hospital was sending her home with some gauze for her incisions and she had her cell phone. Everything was piled on the bed when Rigby got back.
"Um, the t-shirt, please." She took the t-shirt and slipped into the bathroom to change. She winced as she pulled off her hospital gown. She looked in the mirror and frowned at the bandaged incisions on her side. She would be forever scarred now. The thought of it brought tears to her eyes again. She pulled on the t-shirt very gingerly, the pain of it incredible. She was so small that the shirt came down to mid-thigh, totally covering her jean shorts.As she opened the door, she wiped her eyes, sure Rigby must be getting tired of her tears. Autumn gave Rigby a small smile and put a hand on her hip in a small pose. "Cute, huh?" was her lame attempt at a joke. The site of her scars popped in her head and she once again teared up. Damn her emotions! She turned away to unnecessarily straighten things on the bed in an effort to hide her tears yet again.
He handed over the t-shirt without question, stepping back as he waited for her to change. Rigby wanted to give her what privacy he could, though he could still hear her thoughts, as she was still within range of his powers... whatever that range was exactly, he'd never tested it to be sure. For now he looked over the game she'd left out - Taboo, didn't think he'd ever played that one - and tried not to think about the thoughts he could hear from the nurses' station outside.
When she came out, and his shirt was huge on her, he managed a bit of a grin. "It looks good on you," he said, coming forward to give her another hug. He wasn't sick of her tears, not by a long shot, but she looked like she could use the comfort right now. He could see the bandages in her head, where the scars would be, and he sombered a little. "My scar's in the same place as yours, you know," he murmured. "So you ain't the only one." He pulled back, grabbing the rest of her clothes and the game, handing her the phone. "C'mon. This place is depressin' and I say we leave."
Autumn took the phone, touched by what he said about his scar. She frowned at him, sorrier than she could put into words that he'd had to endure something like that. "Can I lean on you a bit? Just haven't been up and walking around for a while." Autumn bit the corner of her lip as she looked up at him. She made a mental note to call Graham when they got back to her house to let him knoww she was released. If she called now, he'd insist on picking her up and there was no need for him to take off from work again.
Autumn hooked her arm with Rigby's and leaned on him as they walked out. She smiled and waved to the nurses as they walked down the hall. Once in the elevator, she leaned her head on Rigby's shoulder and closed her eyes, her head somewhat silent for the moment. "I just might fall asleep on the way home," she warned Rigby. The afternoon had been exhausting and it wasn't even over. At this rate it was going to be forever until she could work in her garden again, a thought which made Autumn most unhappy.
She didn't need to be sorry for him. What was done was done and Rigby would have endured it all over again if it meant it kept his mama safe. "You can lean on me all you want," he said, giving her his arm to take, prepared to pick her up and carry her out if he needed to. He'd remind her to call Graham later too, probably after he left, if only to avoid a fight that didn't need to happen.
Autumn was quiet in the elevator, at least in her mind, but Rigby would never mind that at all. "Don't mind that," he said. "Truck don't look like much, but I can promise ya it's comfy. Hell, I'll even get you a blanket if'n you want." Sure the drive back to Autumn's wasn't that long, but still, it was the thought that counted. "And give it a few days, you'll be back in your garden before you know it."
When they finally reached Rigby's truck, Autumn was exhausted. "I might take you up on that blanket," she told him. She eyed the truck warily and even though it wasn't extraordinarily tall, but to her aching ribs and her small stature, it seemed like a mountain. Autumn gingerly pulled herself into the truck, grimacing as it wrenched her ribs. She threw her phone on the floor and waited until Rigby got into the truck to lay down, using his leg as a pillow. "Is this okay?" she mumbled sleepily. Even though the ride to her house wasn't long, a cat nap might just make her feel better. Plus, better she be asleep for the ride as well so she won't know if the bumps and jostling hurt her.
Rigby hadn't even thought about the truck being tall until he watched Autumn try to climb in it. Before he could get around to the other side to help her, she was already inside. When they got to her place, he'd help her down, that was that and he didn't really care what she thought about that. The interior of his truck looked much like the exterior - the seats worn in places, and it was obvious it had been through a lot, but it was his and it was home. There were a few pictures hanging up in here, if Autumn went to look for them - one of him and Fina taken in LA, tucked under the visor on the driver's side, and some from when he was younger on the right. They were the only pictures he had of his mother now, and he'd only kept the happy ones.
"It's fine, don't you worry." Once she seemed to be comfortable, Rigby twisted in his seat to pluck a soft fleece blanket out from behind his seat. "You just rest up and I'll be lettin' you know when we get to your place, okay?" he said, draping the blanket over her.
"Thanks, Rigby." As she snuggled into the blanket, which smelled deliciously of Rigby. She breathed in deeply and as her eyes drifted closed, she noticed the pictures around his truck. She pointed sleepily, "Is that your momma? She was so beautiful, Rigby!" Just from the picture, she could see that his mother was strong, but had a gentle soul. She knew right away where Rigby got his heart from. She blushed a little, knowing he would hear that, but it was the truth. Thankfully she drifted off to sleep before she could think anymore embarrassing thoughts.
He smiled a little, remembering. "Yeah, that was my mama. And she was pretty. Strong. Got us through a lot." Enough to get him out of Georgia, so his father couldn't hurt them anymore. Rigby had a great deal of respect for Allison Rigby, and though she wasn't around anymore he was going to try and make sure he did right by her memory. Whether or not that meant he had a good heart, like Autumn thought, he didn't know. She drifted off pretty soon and Rigby shut off the radio, letting her sleep on the drive back to her place.
Autumn slept hard until they pulled up to her house. She felt the truck slow down and woke up, stretching gingerly before sitting up. A soft smile played over her lips as she surveyed her house. It was nice to be home. Before she got out, she traced over a picture of a young Rigby and his mom. The love between them was so strong. "I wish I could have met her," she whispered softly. It was amazing to have the strength she did to get her son out of that bad of a situation. She only hoped she could be half as amazing of a mother to her baby.
This time, Rigby got out of the truck before Autumn did, and went around the other side to help her down if she needed it. He didn't want her to pull anything or stress her body out if she didn't have to. When she went to touch one of his pictures, Rigby managed another, softer smile. "Wish you could've, too. That was my seventh birthday. Only party I ever got." And it had been a small one, the voices had been hell for him to deal with even then, but at least he had one memory that every kid should have. Autumn would be great with her baby, too - she just had to have some faith in herself that it would all work out. "C'mon, let's get you inside. I'm sure Suri's waitin' on ya."