Communication Who: Robbie and Becky When: Late Where: Becky's home
The night had definitely been one of firsts. First time kissing since Robbie. First vampire she'd kissed. First man she'd been with period since Robbie intimately. But it definitely wasn't the first moment that Becky felt guilty. After Wally left, she went through her closet and pulled out the box that had Robbie's name scrawled across the top of it. Sifting through the contents, she pulled out an old shirt of his. It was too big on her, but she didn't care as she slipped it on and grabbed out the picture of the two of them, Becky already showing in her maternity sundress and Robbie with his arm around her looking happy like always. Climbing into her bed and checking the baby monitor to be sure it was on, she curled up with that picture, her knees to her chest and let the tears flow.
It had been a year since she'd lost him and it still felt like yesterday and now she'd gone and acted like he'd never existed. She'd been with someone else. Broken the sanctity of what would have been their marriage by now. He was the only man she'd ever been with, Robbie, and now that was broken too. Becky shuddered through a shaky little sob that she tried to keep as quiet as possible. Her thumb brushed over Robbie's face in the picture and she sniffed back another flood of tears. "Why'd you have to go and leave me?" she muttered to the picture. Calling Wally by Robbie's name only instilled in her the fact that she still wasn't over Robbie and probably never would be.
After it was clear that Becky and Wally weren't going to be stopping at kissing, Robbie had finally left the house. He'd wandered around town, morose and wishing he could stop and talk to someone. He wanted Becky to be happy, because he couldn't move on himself until he did. But at the same time, it was hard for him to deal with it. He was dead, but he still loved her. And he hadn't been dead all that long, had he?
Robbie finally returned to the house, stopping in to see his daughter sleeping peacefully in her crib. He smiled, wanting to wake her, since she was the only one so far who could see him, but Robbie knew better than to try and get her to open her eyes.
Walking into Becky's room, he eyed her cautiously, noting the shirt she wore, and the redness of her eyes. Sighing, Robbie walked over and knelt down in front of her by the bed. "I didn't want to leave you, Beck, you know that. And I haven't left you yet. I'm here." And to prove it, he sent a small breeze around her, his only means of communication that wouldn't scare her.
And there it was again. That little bit of wind in her otherwise still bedroom. The feel of it sent those tears sliding down her cheeks and she looked in the direction the breeze had come from. "I'm s-s-sorry." she whimpered, her sheets becoming more moistened with every tear that trailed down and puddled within it. Clutching that picture to her chest, her lower lip trembled. "You know I love you an-and... I... I didn't mean... I..." Here she was apologizing to what she thought was Robbie. She really must be insane.
"You don't have to say you're sorry," Robbie sighed. "You're allowed to move on, sweetheart. I want you to. I just... wanted to be able to talk to you again first. Tell you I love you before I left." He smiled, wishing she could see it. "I'm going to try hard, for you and Amy. Maybe her first word will be 'daddy' and then you'll know I'm here with you." He wished she wouldn't cry. He hated seeing her cry, knowing that even after a year, she was still so depressed. There was another breeze that surrounded her, accepting her apology even though he knew she didn't need to give him one.
She couldn't be imagining it, she just couldn't. The breezes right when she needed them? She just couldn't be dreaming them into reality, could she? Becky wasn't sure what to think about any of it. She wanted to talk to Colin. Needed to and she planned to sometime soon. Maybe tomorrow. She could ask him about ghosts. He'd probably say she was crazy. "It hurts." she whispered, moving one hand to wipe at her tears though it didn't seem to help them stop. "I miss you so much... i-it just... h-hurts."
It hurt for him too. So much so that he was sure if he had a beating heart still, it'd be broken. He missed her, and it was worse because he could never be with her again. That was just something he hadn't accepted fully yet. It was unfair, and it made him angry. "I love you, Beck. I'm never gonna stop," he told her. It was like she knew he was there. She was talking to him... maybe she thought he was crazy but he didn't care. Maybe she would feel insane enough to seek help from someone who would tell her ghosts were real, and that he was real.
"I don't think I know how t-to be... t-to be happy anymore..." she whispered, reaching out in front of her and over the bed to where the breeze had originated. It was cool there in that space, her fingers going straight through his chest though she didn't realize that part. "I shouldn't... I should-shouldn't have made you work on that stupid c-car." she sniffed. "I'd h-have walked e-every d-day for t-th-the rest of my life if you'd j-just stayed with me..."
His smile was small, and sad. "It was a freak accident, and you can't keep thinking about what ifs... you'll never move on with what ifs and regrets. Everything is meant to happen for a reason. I'm just still trying to figure out that reason." Robbie reached for her, despite not being able to touch her. "I need you to accept things, sweetheart. Amy needs you to be happy... she can tell when you're upset. She'll need you. Things will only get better when you allow them to be."
Becky felt coolness against her, or through her, she wasn't quite sure which it was. A different sort of coolness than she'd felt with Wally. It was almost comforting in a way. "N-no one could ev-ever replace you." she told him. "E-ever. N-no matter what I d-do, I p-promise you I st-still love you."
A part of him was satisfied to hear that, and yet he was also sad. He wanted her to be happy and that probably meant moving on with her heart as well. But he was Amy's father, so he knew he would always be remembered. Robbie just didn't want her to be alone until she passed because of him. "I still love you too," he said. "Always will, no matter what happens." He had every intention of staying with her that night, and as long as she needed him to be there.
Curling in on herself, Becky let out a shaky breath and inhaled deeply. The shirt still smelled like Robbie. Probably because she'd kept everything in that damn box since he died, bringing something out only when she needed to be with him. She hadn't gotten rid of anything that was his. She refused to. It felt like getting rid of him and she just couldn't handle that. The box wasn't the only one she had. Half of a storage locker was full of his things. She even had old bottles of cologne that were half empty. And pictures. Loads of pictures. He was the reason she couldn't get rid of the garage no matter how little she knew about cars. "I miss you." she whispered.
"Miss you too," Robbie replied quietly. He'd never stop missing her. And he was growing more and more determined to get out and find someone to help him communicate the right way with her. Maybe tomorrow he would try to find another ghost, or a medium. Anything would do, because Becky was never going to get better until she knew he was okay, and that he'd be around whenever she needed him.
"You're here aren't you?" she asked the space in front of her, tilting her head a bit as she lifted herself into a sitting position and slid down off the bed to the floor where she felt he was. At least where her mind said he was. "It's you blowing or... making the wind isn't it?" she asked, wiping her face with one hand and still clutching that picture in it's frame against her chest. "Do it again if it's you."
Robbie didn't waste anytime conjuring another breeze, although he was feeling more exhausted than he had when he left the house earlier. He'd be willing to do anything, and use every ounce of energy he had, if it meant Becky knew he was there with her. Amy already knew he was there, but she was too young to tell her mother. Robbie was just starting to learn all the tricks up his sleeve, as a ghost, and he wanted Becky to believe in him more than anything else.
Becky smiled faintly despite the tears still streaming down her cheeks. She inhaled sharply and reached out again, setting the picture down on the beside table and putting both hands in front of her. "I'm going to tell Colin..." she said after a moment. The coolness around her fingers had her almost positive and the breeze at just that moment had any doubt she had flickering out. "Maybe... maybe he'll know what to do..."
He wasn't sure if Colin would believe Becky or not, but he wasn't going to be upset if she told him. The more people who tried to communicate with him, the better. And Robbie knew he was going to finally branch out and try to do this on his own. Becky was trying to move on, but she would never fully get there unless they could have some kind of closure.
"I love you." she told him. Might as well get that out there in the open. At least while she was talking to what she'd pretty much written off as Robbie. "And I miss you everyday..." She was sure he knew that though, if he was around her at all. "She's pretty isn't she? Amy. She looks just like you."
"Love you too, Beck." Robbie sighed, reaching for her fingers, despite not being able to touch her. "And she looks like you too... she's got your big eyes, and I'm sure her hair will be just as blonde and curly..." At least he would be around in some fashion to see her grow up. "I miss you too. Every second I can't touch you feels like an eternity... I'm still not used to this." Robbie grinned a touch. "And I'm talking to you like you can hear me... maybe someday you'll be able to."
When she felt that coolness against her fingers, Becky held her hands up so he could press his own to them. Or through them rather since that's what it felt like happened every time she got close to the space he occupied. "I don't know how to be me without you." she mumbled, her lower lip trembling just a little as she tried desperately to blink back tears.
He sighed, despite not having the oxygen to actually do so. "You're going to have to learn," Robbie said with a frown. "For Amy's sake." He didn't like seeing Becky so... defeated. Like she couldn't function. All he wanted was for her to become strong, and move on. At least enough that she could live her life without sadness anymore.
"I wish I could change things. I think that's all I think about half the time and I know you're probably not happy with that... not happy with me... but... I'm trying Robbie, god knows I'm trying." Becky whispered. And lately she had been. And it seemed trying to be happy, trying to move on just made her more upset. Like she was hurting Robbie. Cheating on Robbie. Defiling her vows she would have made to him. Hell, she still wore his ring on her finger. It was just his absence that made it different than a marriage. She was still married to the thought of him however and that part held her back just a little.
It wasn't that Robbie wasn't happy with Becky... he understood where she was coming from. It was just as difficult for him as it was for her. But he wanted her to be able to get out of bed in the morning without that ache in her heart, weighing her down. "We'll figure this out," Robbie told her confidently. "No matter what it takes, we'll make this right for you, and for Amy. You just gotta be strong for me, okay?" He wished she could hear him, but in a way he felt like she could.
Lifting her hands, she wiped the tears away from her face and slowly got up from the floor. "I should check on Amy." she said. "You can come if you want to." She even left the doors open for Robbie, or what she thought was Robbie, as she headed through to Amy's bedroom. She turned on the lamp in the little girl's room and walked slowly over to the crib to lean over a bit and watch her for a moment. Sleeping soundly. Snoring just a little like Robbie used to do. Not a full on snore, but enough of one to be noticed.
Robbie followed her, smiling a bit when they entered Amy's room. He stayed in there most nights, watching over his daughter until Becky got up. He walked up to the crib to look at Amy, feeling content just by being there with the two of them. He'd give anything to actualy be there. Robbie felt more determined than ever to find out what he could do and how. If he could materialize, if he could touch her. Something had to change, and soon.
Reaching into the crib, Becky slowly brushed her fingertips across Amy's cheek. "My pretty baby." she said softly. After a moment or two, she pulled her hand back and reached out to find that coolness again and once she had, she looked up at Robbie like he was really there. "She can see you can't she?" she asked him. "That's what she's been looking at when there's nothing... why can she see you?"
He wasn't sure why Amy could see him. Some said babies were more perceptive and open to things like ghosts. But maybe she was a Medium, and they just didn't know it yet. Which, in Robbie's eyes, would be the best thing to happen to him since he died. He didn't answer Becky, since he couldn't, and instead watched his sleeping daughter. Hopefully Becky would have the answers she wanted soon. Hopefully Robbie could be the one to give them to her.
"I hope Colin can help." she mumbled to herself or maybe to Robbie, she wasn't sure of which though. "There has to be some way to figure this mess out. It's too much of a coincidence to not be you..." Becky sighed. A yawn escaped her and she covered her mouth to stifle it. "Watch her for me?" she asked, giving the cool air a little smile. "If I don't get some sleep, I'll never be able to stay up with her tomorrow."
"I always do," Robbie told her. He didn't need sleep, obviously, so it was easy for him to keep an eye on Becky and Amy. Despite the fact that he couldn't do much if something were to happen, that didn't mean he couldn't try. Maybe Colin would help, and maybe he couldn't. All they could do was wait and see, and hope.
Becky leaned over the crib again, pulling the side down enough that she could lean far enough in to press her lips against her sleeping baby's forehead. "Goodnight, princess. Mommy loves you." she murmured. Lifting the crib side again and locking it in place she smiled at the nothingness. "Goodnight, Robbie. I love you, too." Then she turned and headed out of the bedroom and towards her own.
"Love you too," Robbie told her, watching her go. It was strange to hear that, especially after knowing what she had done when he'd left the house. It was a hard thing to accept, but he couldn't be upset over it. Becky was attempting to do what he'd wanted her to do. Only he wished she'd do it with someone who was living. Turning back to Amy, Robbie settled and got comfortable. He had all night to think about things. Tomorrow he would actually do something about them.