Can't handle the pain. Who: Jessalyn and Madock When: Evening Where: Phonelines and the vigil
Madock rested for a short while at Gabe's, thankful to at least have somewhere to crash for the time being. After calling his mother and letting her know that he had somewhere to go, he called Jessalyn so she'd know he'd be alright as well. His mother had sounded more than pleased to know he wouldn't be spending any time at a hotel and he figured that Jessalyn would be just as pleased.
Jessalyn had been waiting for Madock's call, and when he phone rang, she answered it quickly, rolling over in bed to lay on her back. Her mom had been hovering all day, so it was nice to fake a nap and have some quiet time. "Hey," she greeted quietly, with a small smile. "Are you okay?"
He smiled a little at her concern. "Yeah." he told her. "I'm a lot better than earlier. I'm gonna be staying with Gabe, so you don't have to worry about me being at the hotel." Madock told her. "How're you?"
She sighed in relief, thankful to hear he wouldn't be throwing his money away at a hotel. "I'm okay. A little tired... but otherwise okay. I'm glad you're staying with Gabe. How's he doing?" She knew how she would be doing if her mate had gone missing. And it wouldn't be pretty.
"Not so good." Madock said, taking in a long breath. "He's going insane without her and part of me feels bad for putting myself on him because it can't be easy to have reminders of Claire around ya know, especially the ones that look like her." He frowned a little at that. "He's supposed to go out tonight to see if he can find anything else and I was gonna see if you think your mom will let you go to the vigil with me. I figured maybe I could brush up against people. Can't hurt to try to get some sort of reading."
Jessalyn felt for Gabe. A lot. She knew she would be freaking out herself, wanting to do everything she could to try and find a scent to track. Frowning, Jessalyn glanced at her closed door, wondering if her mom was listening in. Probably not. "I think that would be okay. If I'm going to the vigil... a lot of people will be there, I'm sure. Do you want me to pick you up since you're closer to the school? That way you don't have to drive all the way out here to get me."
"Yeah, you can." he nodded, though he felt a little silly having his girlfriend pick him up. He didn't like the thought of her having to drive herself home all alone, but he wasn't going to act like an overprotective boyfriend. "I just got a shower a little bit ago so I'll grab some clothes and I'll see you in a little bit, okay?"
"I'll be there," Jessalyn said, slipping off of her bed. She hung up and went to convince her mom to let her go. It took some persuading, but her mom finally relented, since she would be with Madock, and surrounded by a bunch of other people in town. After she brushed her hair, she grabbed her bag and her keys and headed off toward Gabe's house. She pulled into his driveway about twenty minutes later, texting to Madock that she was waiting. She didn't want to go inside and possibly disturb Gabe, especially in the state of mind he would probably be in.
Madock met her outside a moment or two later, stuffing his wallet into his back pocket and turning his phone on vibrate. He didn't want it ringing and disturbing the vigil, but he wasn't about to turn it off if any word came through about his sister. Slipping into the passenger seat, he smiled at Jessalyn and leaned over to give her a little kiss. "Hey." he said, brushing her hair behind her ear.
"Hi." She smiled softly and reached over to touch his knee in a comforting gesture. "It's nice of Gabe to let you stay with him." Jessalyn pulled out of the driveway to head toward the school. "Have you gotten any news?" She didn't think so, since she was sure Madock would have called her if he had.
"Yeah, it was." he nodded. "He didn't have to do it and I wasn't going to ask him, but I wasn't going to turn it down when he did. I figured that you and mom would both feel a little better if I was just at somewhere that you guys knew, ya know? And no, I haven't heard anything new. It sucks." Madock sighed. "I just hate not knowing."
"I definitely feel better... especially knowing you're with a friend. And you can be there for him too. I know it'll help, having someone around who knows and understands." She reached for his hand to give it a squeeze. "They'll find her. Gabe... did he say anything? Sometimes there's this bond between mates... like... I just know that if something happened to you, I would... know it. It's hard to explain."
"He said that he tried to scent earlier. Went out to the place where it happened." Madock said, sliding his fingers through hers. "He's going crazy with worrying about her. I know how worried I am, but it's like I don't even know how to make him feel any better ya know? I know that nothing anyone says makes me feel better and I'm not in love with her ya konw? She's my sister, I love her, but Gabe... there's this whole different brand of love and I can't even imagine what he's going through."
Jessalyn nodded, because she knew she could imagine it, and it was so horrible in her mind that she didn't want to. "Everything's going to be okay. I can feel it." She had to stay optimistic. Jessalyn didn't know how to be anything but and she was sure she would probably fall apart if she actually admitted the worst could have happened. She drove along to the school and found the streets were extremely busy. "We might have to park and walk a bit," she said, bringing his hand up to rub against her cheek in an absent minded gesture. "Is that okay?"
"Yeah." he nodded, liking the way her warm face felt as she brushed his hand up against it. "It's alright." Madock said. "I don't mind walking." Especially when he had Jessalyn around. Whether she knew it or not, she did make him feel better. While she might not be taking his mind completely off Claire, at least she was helping him look at the bright side.
Jessalyn parked alongside the curb in a neighborhood just behind the school. She could smell and hear a ton of people, and she knew it would be packed inside the football field. Turning off the car, she glanced over at Madock. "People are going to be staring at you," she said quietly. "Since you're her brother. Some people might get nosy and start asking questions. We can try to stay as invisible as possible, but I don't think it's going to do much."
Madock frowned at that, but he'd expected as much. They'd be looking at him, asking him things, wondering why he hadn't been taken. Probably wondering if he was going to get upset at the function. "I know they will." he nodded, lifting his free hand and sliding it over his hair. "That's alright though. They can ask all they want... doesn't matter right, you're with me..." he told her, giving her fingers a little squeeze. "We'll be alright." he told her.
She squeezed his hand back and smiled at him. "We will be." Reluctantly she let go of his hand so they could get out of the car. Jessalyn rounded the car to take a hold of his hand again once Madock had joined her. "If people start bugging us, I'll tell them to mind their own business if I have to."
"That's my girl." he smiled, releasing her hand and opting for sliding his arm around her shoulders and pulling her close to him. "Thank you, for being here for me." Madock murmured, tilting his head to press a kiss against her hair. "I don't think you really understand just how much it means to have you around."
"I wouldn't be anywhere else," she said confidently. Her mate needed her, and she wasn't going anywhere. Jessalyn slipped an arm around his waist and rested her head against him. "You're never going to have to go through anything like this alone. I'll do anything for you." And she would. She was bonded to him for life, no matter what might happen in the future. That would never change.
"I'm glad." he told her. "That you're around... that you're here I just... wish things could be different right now." he sighed. "It's just such a huge mess. I don't even know what to do anymore. I feel like I should be doing something but it's like I can't even think of where to even start." Madock explained as they started walking towards the football field. "I just don't know what to do."
"There's nothing you can do right now," Jessalyn told him. "You just have to wait, and hope... try to stay optimistic. If Claire is with the others... well, they're smart. Maybe they'll find a way to get help." She walked with Madock onto the field. There were large photos of the missing, and a bunch of people crowded around, some of them silent, some speaking quietly to one another. She noted a few people glancing in their direction, but thankfully no one came up to bother them yet.
Madock glanced up at the picture of his sister and swallowed down the lump that seemed to form between his chest and throat. He wanted to just lay down and cry for a year. He bit his bottom lip and looked away from the picture and back at Jessalyn. He wasn't sure that he could take this for very long. The picture, the quite whispers and especially the looks that people kept casting in his direction. He pulled her tighter against him and took in a deep breath. He thought this would have been easier.
She could sense his growing distress and she looked up at him, lowering her voice to a whisper. "Do you want to go somewhere else? We don't have to stay... or we can find a quiet, empty spot somewhere. I don't want you to be upset."
He let his eyes flick around once more and he wanted to stay, god he did, wanted to try and bump into people, see what flickered through their bodies, but he just couldn't seem to make the feeling of hurt sliding through his body. "Can we?" Madock whispered. "Please?"
"Yes." She began to lead him away from the crowd. Even if they had to go sit on the side of the school building where they would be alone, at least they would be close to the vigil, just not in sight of curious, prying eyes and ears. "I'm sorry, Madock. I know this is hard."
He swallowed once the sounds of people started to dwindle as they walked away, glancing down at her and biting his lip. He hoped the slight bit of pain that flicked through him because of that bite would make the tears that were starting to well up go away. Hard didn't even begin to describe it. Once they reached the side of the school building, he slid his arms around her body and pulled her against him. "I just want her back." Madock whispered as he pressed his face against the curve of her neck. "I should have done more to keep her safe."
Jessalyn wrapped her arms around him tightly. She knew he was upset, and she wasn't going to tell him not to be. Anyone in his position would feel that way and he was allowed to grieve. Her fingers slid through the hair at the nape of his neck soothingly. "There wasn't anything you could have done," she said quietly. "They had guns. They could have killed you. I know we like to think we could have done more, but there's nothing we could have done against trained hunters, if that's what they were." She had been knocked out cold for most of it, so she didn't even know what had gone down.
Being comforted seemed to make the tears flood over and they dripped down his cheeks. Madock sniffled, feeling stupid for crying, but held tighter to Jessalyn. He probably couldn't have done anything. They could have killed him and where would that have left Jessalyn? Going crazy like Gabe was?
Her heart ached for him, and she simply held him, letting him cry if he needed to cry. She felt awful for him. Jessalyn could only imagine what it would be like if she lost one of her siblings. What if Ransom had been taken? The whole pack would have been out looking for him. "She'll come home," Jessalyn said quietly. "I know she will."
He swallowed down the lump again, feeling a little like he might throw up if it kept rising up in his throat like it did. His fingers clutched at the back of her shirt, hoping to just hold onto that bit of solidity that she offered him. She was here and that's what mattered. She was here telling him that everything would be alright and he knew that Claire was okay. She was alive, she had to be. "I thought I could handle it..." Madock whimpered against her flesh.
"You can," Jessalyn assured him, stroking the back of his hair softly. "You're strong, Madock. And I know Claire needs you to be. Don't give into the dark thoughts, okay? Keep all the worst case scenarios at bay. Just think about the day they find her, and she's home safely. I know she's probably thinking about you right now too."
He didn't feel very strong right now. Not at all. He felt like his whole world was crashing down on him. Maybe seeing her picture was what triggered it, or the look on her face that still went through his mind every few moments. The way she cried out for her before the unknown stranger snatched her. Squeezing his eyes closed, Madock took in a shattered breath. "I know... I know she's okay..." he whispered. "She has to be."
Jessalyn nodded and pressed her cheek against his. She could feel the dampness of his skin from his tears and wished she had just the right words to say to make him feel better. "You two have a bond... if you truly, in your heart, feel she's still alive, then I know she is. This is all over the news... I think that will help. I think people will look for them. I think whoever has them would have to be stupid to do anything to them now."
He nodded a little, hoping that she was right as he pulled back enough to look at her through the thin, blurry veil of tears. "I love you." he told her, moving his hands up to her cheeks and brushing his hands back into her hair. "I don't think I could be doing this by myself." Madock whispered.
She smiled soothingly at him, lifting her hands to his cheeks in return and using the pads of her thumbs to brush his tears away. "I love you too. And you don't have to do this by yourself, so you don't have to worry... I'll be here whenever you need me. We'll get through this. And your sister will be home... safely. I just know it. But until then, anything you need... if you need to yell, or cry or... anything. I'm here."
"I'm supposed to be being strong..." Madock muttered when she brushed his tears away. "Maybe a few more billion tears and I'll get it out of my system." he sighed. "Least I didn't cry in front of Frank, I'm sure he woulda had a ball with that." Calling him a pussy or something similar would have been what happened.
"Don't think about him," Jessalyn said firmly. She knew thinking about his dad would only make things worse for him. "Just focus on your sister... don't let him upset you further." She cupped his face and leaned up to brush a kiss against his lips. "I think I would be more worried about you if you weren't crying. It's natural for you to be this upset. And there's nothing wrong with it."
He kissed her back and nodded a little. "I know I shouldn't let him get to me, it's just hard." he told her. "I just don't know why he's such a dick about everything. He acts like he's so torn up she's gone and how I should have protected her, but when she's here, he doesn't give a shit. I should be protecting her from him. Hell whatever they've done to her is nothing compare to the way he treats her." Madock sighed.
"Maybe he's just unhappy in life... maybe he doesn't know how to verbalize his feelings, so he hides them behind... cruelty. I don't know." She didn't understand such people. She grew up in loving home. Jessalyn found it hard to fathom a father not wanting his children. Or treating them badly. "Does she let him affect her?"
"He's got her feeling like she's so bad a person, like she's stupid or fat or ugly because he's been pressing that opinion on her over and over again so much that I think she started to believe it." Madock explained. "Claire's beautiful and she should know that and that's part of the reason that when she got with Gabe I was glad, ya know, because he might be able to tell her that she's great and she'd believe the truth instead of being so certain of the lies." he sighed.
"She's not stupid... she was one of the smartest people in her class, I heard. And she's definitely not fat, or ugly... I guess when you have someone like your father telling you these things for so long, it doesn't help your self esteem. I think having you and Gabe in her life would help... I'm sure you tell her differently as often as you can," Jessalyn said.
"I think that moving out will help the most." Madock muttered. "She needs to get away from all that crap." He knew that moving out plans were definitely halted for now, but as soon as she came back from wherever she was, Madock wasn't letting her go back home. Not with their father.
Jessalyn nodded. She was happy that Madock was talking about Claire now, as if she were coming back. It meant he had hope. She kissed him softly again and nuzzled her nose against his. "I know that you'll do what's best for the both of you. And it sounds like you are doing what you can to protect her. I hope she knows how lucky she is to have you."
Madock nodded a little. "I still wish there was more I could have done to begin with." he said. "To keep her from being taken at all." he explained. "Gotta do what I can for now I guess." he shrugged. "Sitting around thinking about the bad shit that could be happening isn't bringing her home though."
"It's not," she agreed with a small nod. "All you can really do right now is just... wait. And I know that sounds horrible, but hopefully the police are doing what they can. Something has to come up... there's got to be something they find, or figure out."
Madock nodded and slid her hair behind her ear. "Yeah." he said with a little sigh. He brushed his hands over his face to wipe away the remnants of any tears. "She's a smart girl..." he said, forcing himself to think positively. "She'll figure something out. They all will together."
"I think whoever took them underestimated what they can do," Jessalyn said with a small smile. She hated that he was so upset and there was nothing she could do to fix it. If she could, she would go and try to follow Claire's scent herself, but she had never gotten close enough to the girl to memorize it. "Do you want to stay here or we could just go for a walk... get some fresh air away from this?"
"You wouldn't mind going for a walk?" he asked her, managing a little smile, but it was better than nothing. "I mean if you wanna stay I can suck it up." Madock told her. "I'll be alright."
"I'm here for you," she said simply, taking his hand in hers. "Wherever you want to go, I want to go. Whatever you want to do, I want to do. If it's making you too upset to stay here, we'll go for a walk."
"You're really too good for me." Madock told her, cupping her face again and leaning down enough to press a little kiss against her lips. "I'm not sure how much staring I'm really ready for." he admitted. "I just feel like everyone's looking at me and thinking about her and I just... it's difficult."
"I understand." Jessalyn leaned in to hug him tightly. "It'll be okay. We don't have to go back. Let's just go for a walk and clear your mind for awhile. We can cut around the bleachers back to the car when we're done so people don't see us."
Hugging her back, he nodded a little, letting his fingers slowly slide through her hair. "I miss you so much when you're not around." he whispered. Madock wished there was a way for him to feel what she felt for him, just how strongly she felt it, but he was pretty sure that what he felt already was damn close. "I wish I could be with you always." She just had this way about her. The ability to make him feel better no matter how horribly his heart was aching.
Jessalyn felt a small smile touch her lips as she looked up at him. "I miss you too." More so, now that they've mated. She wanted to be with him every second of the day, even though she knew that wasn't possible. "You're all I ever think about... even before the camping trip. I don't know what I would have done if I had woken up and you'd have been gone too."
"I'm not going anywhere, baby." he assured her. "I promise you that. And if something ever happens to me, I'll find my way back to you somehow." Madock said, sliding his hands to her face again and giving her a little smile. "I'm yours now, remember? I'm not going anywhere."
Jessalyn couldn't help but smile. She knew if anything happened to him, she would find him. She didn't care how, or how long it would take, as long as she got him back. "I know you're not... and yes, you're mine," she said with a slightly teasing tone. She pressed another kiss to his lips. "I'll never let anything happen to you anyway, so you don't have to worry about that."
Madock smiled against her lips and kissed her again. "Yeah, well you're mine too." he told her. "Always." Especially now. They were different because they belonged to each other. She was his first and he was hers and Madock doubted there could ever be a bond stronger than that. Especially when she just happened to be a werewolf.
She felt warm inside and content. And she truly believed him when he said he wouldn't leave her. Taking his hand, she lifted it to her lips before lacing their fingers together. "Let's go for that walk and get away from this place for awhile..." Jessalyn wanted to be alone with him, and she knew he would feel better, not having to watch people staring at him.
"Yeah." he agreed, leading her away from the school building and down the side walk so they could go for that walk. He just wanted to be away from the masses for now and with Jessalyn. It was easier with her than with the crowd. He didn't have to talk if he didn't want to, but if he did, she was there to listen and not gawk at him.