Dorian Judas Lockwood (tippingfate) wrote in light_of_may, @ 2009-07-31 01:06:00 |
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Entry tags: | 2009-06-10 |
Heavy Conversations
Who: Dorian and Aiden
When: Nighttime
Where: Dorian's apartment
It was pretty late by the time Aiden and Jules returned home from eating out. Things had been okay, though Aiden was still feeling a tad bit tense from the whole experience. He was sure he was going to go through a barrage of emotions before he finally accepted the major shift his life was about to take. And he needed someone to talk too about it. Or at least get some advice from. And there was really only one person he trusted. After dropping Jules off, he told her he was going out to get more cigarettes, but rather than going to the gas station, he drove to Dorian's, texting quickly while on his way.
hey. you at home or work?
With nothing exciting going on, Dorian was at home, chilling on the couch and watching television. It didn't bother him to have a lazy night, though he was glad to hear from Aiden. Company was always better than sitting around and doing nothing. I'm at home. What's up? he sent back. He had the feeling he'd hear back in seconds or Aiden would show up on his door step. Neither was a problem.
Good, he was at home. Aiden didn't have to change his direction. be there in a sec. Aiden figured if Dorian had company, he'd let Aiden know before he got there. After another second, while stopped at a stop sign, he texted quickly, if you have beer, make sure you have one ready for me. Not that he needed to get drunk, but some kind of alcohol would probably help right about now.
Dorian snickered to himself as he climbed off the couch and headed towards the fridge. There was cold pizza he could heat up, and he pulled out a bottle of beer for each of them. He wondered what had Aiden so in need of a drink, but figured that was what he was about to hear. There was no way that Aiden would partake of his hospitality and not be willing to share his story, whatever it was.
Aiden pulled up in front of Dorian's and quickly got out of the car. He tossed away his half smoked cigarette and headed up to Dorian's door. He knocked a couple times before shoving his hands into his pockets. He could have just walked right in, but he decided to play the 'polite friend' angle and wait. He didn't want to walk in on anything potentially embarrassing.
There was nothing embarrassing to walk in on, and if there had been then Dorian would have cleaned it up before Aiden arrived. He'd given good warning, which was always nice. "Hey," Dorian said opening the door and handing Aiden a beer. "What's on your mind?" If it had only been drinking, then Dorian would have expected the invitation to specifically address that in the first place.
With a sigh of relief, Aiden took the beer Dorian was handing him and walked over to Dorian's couch to flop down, taking a long pull of his beer before he finally answered. He looked up at Dorian from the couch wearily. "Jules is pregnant." Yup. It still sounded weird and foreign on his tongue. Because pregnancy meant babies. Which meant Aiden would be a dad. Responsible for another human being. It was fuckin' terrifying.
Well, there was a sobering comment. Dorian's eyes widened as he perched on the edge of the nearest chair, staring at Aiden for a minute. Maybe he'd grow a third eye too. "Fuck," he finally said. "Are you... are you sure? Like, has she been to the doctor and everything?" Home pregnancy tests could be wrong every once and a while, right?
Aiden shook his head, his thumb nail picking at the label on his beer bottle as he met Dorian's eyes. "She just found out today. She's going to the doctor tomorrow. But I came home and she'd taken like, ten fuckin' tests. I was hopin' maybe they'd be defective, but they weren't the same brand and..." He waved his hand dismissively. "She's been sick the last couple of days. And apparently she's like two fuckin' months late and just now realized it. I told her it'd be okay since she freaked out. Thought I'd leave her. But now I'm freakin' out because I have no clue what to do."
A number of things ran through Dorian's head, some of them not entirely appropriate. He could always do a little gray magic on Jules, but who knew how that might turn out? It could lean two ways: it could turn out to be a false alarm with no baby, or she could have twins. That was how gray magic tended to work. Worse, what if she could never have kids again? Somehow he doubted that Jules would appreciate Dorian messing with her reproductive system. "Do you-- the two of you-- want to keep it?" It sounded like a horrible question, but it needed to be asked.
Aiden had been expecting the question, so it didn't bother him in the slightest. If he could be honest with anyone, he knew he could be honest with Dorian. "It's... not the most convenient thing, Dor. And you know I don't give a shit what women do with their bodies. But... the kid is mine. And I'm not getting rid of him. Or her," he added with a small grin. "Jules wants to keep it too. I think she was more worried about me leavin' her than her bein' pregnant. It's just... it wasn't planned. Obviously. Once we both get over the shock..." He released a slow breath. "What would you do?"
Dorian could understand that, it being Aiden's and all. And he wanted to stay with Jules, so it wasn't like he was rearing to run off and leave her saddled with a kid. If he'd been in the same position-- which he wasn't, thank God-- he wasn't entirely sure how he would handle it. Then again, he'd always been traditional in a sense. "I'd probably start saving for a ring," Dorian said. "Either that, or push my luck with gray magic, but you never know how that'll turn out and you wanna keep it so... Hard for me to say when I don't have a woman of my own. A kid's kinda permanent."
Cocking an eyebrow, Aiden stared at Dorian for a second. "So you'd either start savin' to marry the girl, or you'd use your magic... to do what exactly?" So maybe Aiden was a little bit curious. He hadn't thought about magic. Though with the whole 'wanting to keep it' comment, he was guessing it wouldn't be anything good. And he'd already nixed the idea of getting rid of it. He paled a bit when Dorian said a kid was permanent. Yeah, he knew that, but still... it was freaking him out.
"Can I point out again that I'm not in your place?" Dorian asked with a little laugh. "With gray magic, you could tip fate. Give it a push. The tricky part is that you don't know which way it'll go. So maybe you want to place a spell that effects the result of Jule's pregnancy-- she could either lose the kid, or have the healthiest, easiest pregnancy known to man. You've just gotta be careful when you set the parameters, cause when things go wrong, they tend to kick you in the ass." Dorian paused, then considered this whole option. "I wouldn't advice using magic on a girl you plan to stay with. If she found out, no matter how it went, she'd be pissed as hell."
"Ah. Yeah... I don't think I could ever risk doing that." He didn't know if he wanted to. "And you're right, Jules would be beyond pissed. She'd probably castrate me in my sleep." Sighing, Aiden rested his head back on the couch and shut his eyes. "This fucks everythin' up though. It hasn't really sunk in and when it does, I know I'm gonna freak the fuck out and ruin everythin' further."
"Do you want kids?" Dorian asked. "Cause if neither of you do, you could always put it up for adoption. If you go into this thinking it's fucked everything up, that's really not the right environment to raise a child. It'll mess with it's head." Dorian didn't have to be a genius to know that. He just had to think about how a parent's mentality could effect a child's life.
"I didn't want kids," Aiden admitted. "Right now, I don't know. I never had to think about it much because I didn't think this would happen. And I don't think Jules would be up for adoption. I don't know if I could do that. I think I'm feeling this mindfuck because of the way I was raised. As much as we don't want to be like our parents, we always end up being like them, even if it's just a little bit." He sighed and took another drink of his beer. "Maybe I'm freakin' out over nothin'. It's early yet... maybe I should focus on freakin' out later."
"Freaking out's a good plan if you're gonna contradict yourself like that," Dorian said, rolling his eyes. "You can't say you don't want kids, then turn around and say you don't know if you could give it up for adoption. That indicates that you do want kids, or that if it's gonna be born, it's gonna be yours. You're being possessive about something you don't even want. Pick one or the other. If you really don't want to have a baby in your life right now-- specifically seven months from now-- then you've got to talk to Jules about it. And if she wants the baby, then... well... that's another issue. If she wants it, then there's nothing you can do."
"I don't know if I want kids, but... I don't really have a choice at this juncture. I'm not... it's my kid." He paused and scowled at Dorian. "Maybe I do want it. It just wasn't ever part of my plan. No kids, no marriage... I don't think I'd be any good at that stuff. Doesn't mean I won't try. The kid part anyway." Aiden released a sound of frustration before stretching out his legs. "I don't know. I don't want to think about it anymore."
"I just meant that, you can't bring a kid into the world and say you don't want it at the same time," Dorian explained. "It'll hurt your relationship with Jules and it'll mindfuck the kid when it's old enough to learn you never wanted it in the first place. This is an all or nothing sort of deal, Aiden. If you're gonna keep it, meaning it's gonna be a part of your life, then do it right. Otherwise you and Jules need to talk about adoption or something. I dunno. Maybe I'm no help here."
His scowl deepened, but he nodded, eyes focused on his beer bottle. "Okay. Yeah... I'll think about it. Talk to her about it. Again. We've got a doctor thing tomorrow so maybe... I dunno. We'll see." Aiden sighed and looked up at Dorian. "Thanks though... I just need to think about it."
"Yeah, I get that," Dorian said, taking a sip of his beer. The situation made him introspective as well, wondering just what he'd do in a similar situation. He wasn't sure, and he really didn't want to find out. Even if he didn't have a plan for his life, a kid wasn't the kind of surprise that he'd enjoy.