Sarah Shaddeau (forgetaboutme) wrote in light_of_may, @ 2015-02-22 20:33:00 |
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Entry tags: | 2009-10-15, keelin, sarah |
she thought someone loved her
Who: Keelin and Sarah
Where: Camelot Place
When: After school
It was all a lie. All of it. Sarah sat there with her chin in one cupped hand, elbow propped on the counter as she tapped her foot against the bottom rung of the stool she was on. Tap tap tap-tap. It echoed through the thankfully empty apartment as she sat there and waited. She'd gotten Bess to go over and play with one of her little friends in the apartment so that she wouldn't have to be around for this. Bess didn't need to see it. Bess didn't need to hear it. Bess knew too much for her own good as it was, and Sarah wasn't about to let her little sister know more if she could stop it. And she was going to try to stop this. The happy family facade, the lie. She blinked as tears stung her eyes. Tap tap. The mother that wasn't actually their mother because their mother had run out on them years ago without a word. Keelin wasn't their mother. She had let them think that she was, but she wasn't. She'd committed the ultimate sin in Sarah's eyes and the worst part? The absolute worst part of all of it was that she'd wanted it to be real. She'd loved Keelin as much as she did her dad and now?
Keelin was going to leave just like her mother had. And why shouldn't she? Sarah kicked at the bar, blaming the tears on the toe she'd probably just bruised. She didn't have to live with them or love them because they didn't belong to her. And what mother-figure on this earth even wanted her? She knew yesterday. Sarah knew that now, she had to have. Why else had she been acting so weird? Keelin had known and she hadn't told them. She'd let them keep on living the lie and because of that it'd hurt that much worse when the memories had come trickling back through the day.
The sound of the door opening made Sarah perk up and she ran her hand across her eyes to try and hide the tears. She'd deliberately shut the familiars in her room with "Homeward Bound" so that they'd leave her along and she'd actually get some privacy when she needed it. And yep, there was Keelin. This afternoon was supposed to be a treat where they went and had a mother-daughter day at the mall in Ann Arbor. But that wasn't going to happen because she wasn't her mother. Sarah wanted, desperately, for her to be, but she wasn't and right then it hurt too much to just pretend. She didn't have a mother. Her blue eyes were accusing when she looked at Keelin and took a deep breath, unsure before she spoke whether she was going to shout or not. She didn't, her voice was level and only had a little shake. Tap tap, tap-tap.
"You're not my mother. You knew that yesterday and you just... you just let us think that you loved us." Me, she wanted to scream. You made me think you loved me like I was your daughter!