Keelin Banks is looking for balance (beyondheryears) wrote in light_of_may, @ 2015-02-06 11:10:00 |
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Entry tags: | 2009-10-14, keelin, reggie |
and i know how i love you
Who: Keelin & Reggie
Where: Reggie's apartment
When: Evening
She had never felt so empty before this moment. Keelin's phone was still in her hand, but she was not looking down at the now darkened screen. She didn't need to; Sarah's last text still burned in her mind. I love you, too Mom. That little word acted like a blade piercing Keelin's heart. She wasn't Sarah's Mom, not according to the flood of the fresh memories in her thoughts. She didn't trust them, but they felt so real that she had no choice but to believe them. And God. She desperately wished that they weren't real. Once she was home, Keelin avoided seeing Bess and sat on the edge of Reggie's bed, as if she didn't belong there. Her eyes burned and her vision was blurry, but she didn't feel any tears falling just yet. All day, she had felt the tidal wave of heartbreak treatening to overtake her, but she managed to fight it. She did her very best to act normal.
Sarah still noticed.
Keelin's lower lip trembled, but she still held the tears back. Whatever had blocked those unwelcome memories had brought revelations and desires to the surface, things she was not emotionally ready to do or admit to in her current state. Remember Brandon and the way he hurt her allowed those trust issues to come to light once more and they made confessing just how strongly she felt for Reggie a problem. God, she even remember movie night and how she stopped them from going too far because she was too afraid of what the future might hold for them. I wasn't too afraid yesterday. And why? Because she didn't have access to painful memories? Was that the only reason why she did what she did and said what she said? It just wasn't fair. Why would she remember these awful things while Reggie and the girls would think of her only as wife and mom. But Kahlan remembered things. Maybe Reggie did too?
The bedroom door opened slowly and she knew it was Reggie pushing it open, finally home from work. Her blue eyes took him in and she felt her heart lurch. No, they were not married. She suddenly caught a flash of him holding Pugsley with a sheepish smile while she stood in a bathrobe. We met here. In the summer...
"Hey," she greeted, her voice quiet and timid. She wanted nothing more than to rush towards him and lock him in a tight embrace. She wasn't sure what kept her seated. Maybe this was like a fairy tale, she needed the touch of Prince Charming to break this cruel spell she was under. "Have you... Have you remembered anything odd today?"