Zoie (if_i_believe) wrote in light_of_may, @ 2015-01-27 12:20:00 |
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Entry tags: | 2009-10-13, quinn, zoie |
scared to death to hear what the doctor will say
Who: Quinn and Zoie
Where: UofM hospital
When: Late morning
Zoie knew how to drive, she knew that she knew and she had a license to prove it, but the whole drive to the hospital was a little... not fun, and it was not just because she could only really use one arm. It seemed like she was definitely out of practice. Looked like the next time she went anywhere with Nora, she was going to insist on being the one to drive. She was actually a few feet away before she remembered to press the little button that locked the doors. "I so don't do that enough." Zoie fumbled the keys into her pocket and paused, because once again the little silver bracelet with its red medic cross flashed into her view. Zoie's heart gave a painful lurch and she had to stop, leaning against a conveniently placed tree as she caught her breath. Little things like that were why she had finally mustered up the courage to look at the bracelet she had been avoiding since leaving the hospital. The one that had not told her she was allergic to nuts or had diabetes or even cancer. No, it had Marfan's Syndrome etched into it. Zoie did not know what those words meant, but they made her stomach ache and she had deliberately avoided showing it to Nora. Instead she had said she was going to go out and meet friends for something, and instead she had rung the hospital. She had given them her name, asked who her doctor was, and they had scheduled her in for a... they had called it something, but Zoie had forgotten. Her hands were feeling a little funny and she had just wanted to hang up the phone.
Walking into the hospital seemed far too familiar. Zoie hitched her purse up on her shoulder and glanced around, biting at her lip as she did. It's because I work here, Zoie told herself. It all felt familiar because she worked here. That was absolutely it. So why did she know which way to turn to get to the cardiac ward? "Hi," she said, smile a little wan when she stepped up to the counter. "I have an appointment to see... uhh... Doctor Wake? My name's Zoie Irving."
The smiling nurse behind the counter glanced at the computer, scrolled, and then looked back up. "Yes, we have that scheduled. If you just want to take a seat over there? We'll let you know when the doctor is ready."
Zoie smiled again. "Thanks." She made sure to take a seat that was not by anyone else. Not because she was afraid of catching anything, but because she was feeling a little funny. Her hands were still doing that aching thing and her chest - her heart - was a little sore. The last thing she wanted was for anyone to ask if she was okay, or to accidentally bump against her. This was a huge change from yesterday when she had been so happily enjoying herself at the playground. Marfan's Syndrome. Zoie's finger was tracing it over and over again while she tried out the sound of the words, whispering it quietly so as not to disturb anyone else. "I have Marfan's Syndrome... and no idea of what it is." First she could not remember how she had broken her arm and now she could not remember a health issue that was important enough to deserve a medical bracelet. Had she hit her head and gotten concussed at some point? Whatever it was, it was honestly starting to worry her and she wanted to do nothing more than tell Nora. But what did she tell her? She had no idea of what was going on!
And if she had stopped to be honest with herself then she would have realized she was terrified.