"That's right if I was a normal fucking snake I'd have bitten this asshole for not lighting up the fireplace" said Ryan's snake, this time in both their heads. "Hello yourself, blondie." The snake just stayed there, side-eyeing Kajsa as she took a seat. "Apologies for Jack, he's as charming as he's good looking." Said Ryan, and in his mind the snake mentioned something about flipping him off if he had hands.
"Heh she's bothered on account of your skimpy outfit, Ryan." said the snake again. Ryan scratched his forehead, smirking. If he was honest thing whole hing had been so unexpected he'd kind of forgotten he wasn't wearing clothes. "Sorry, I'll uh, get something. Keep talking." with that Ryan stood from his seat and hurried out of the room searching for some jeans and a t-shirt. When he came back Kajsa had already explained her family's situation. "Shit, sorry to hear that." He still wondered what his part in all this was, however. Then, the revelation came. She was pregnant, and there wasn't a dad. "It's a little important, I don't want some guy coming back here starting shit because I'm robbing him of quality time with his offspring." It would still be kind of hard to leave her hanging when she looked so genuinely distraught about all this. "Wait. You want your mom to think you have some security...but you don't. But you'll pay me to pretend to be that security at family reunions?"
"Her mom's pregnant too." Said the snake. God bless his telepathy sometimes. Ryan sank in his chair again. "Whaaaat?" Here he was, faced with a moral decision that did not, for once, involve a member of his family. After a while he sighed, leaning forward. "Okay let's talk specifics. What would you really need me to do for you?"