stand back and watch it burn Who: Lumen, Anita and Tom (npcs) Where: Quiet Meadows Trailer Park When: Early Evening Warning: Mild Violence
There was only one place in Lumen’s home that she felt completely safe and secure. When she had been a little girl, hiding out in her closet had been a part of her playtime. Sometimes it would be the control deck of her rocket ship to the moon; other times it was the tower the evil queen had locked her in until someone came to save her. As she got older, Lumen found that small space gave her security – and it didn’t hurt that it kept her from hearing what was going on in the rest of the trailer. Over the years she had moved in pillows and moved out her clothes into a dresser. Since the Light of May, she had set up a small space for a few candles, which made her feel more comfortable than the soft pillows that lined the floor and walls around her. No one knew about her little space – not her mother, not even Dalila. It was where she went when things became too much to handle, so it was no surprise that as soon as school had let out, Lumen had come straight home and locked herself in her closet. For hours – despite Polly’s pleading that she come out – she had gone back and forth between scribbling angrily in her journal and screaming into one of the pillows beside her. She would have been content to stay there the rest of the night and into the day tomorrow, but the knock at her door had other plans.
“Loo-loo? Dinner’s ready. Are you going to come out?”
The sound of her mother’s soft, almost sing-song voice made Lumen’s eyes practically roll back into her head. She opened the door to her closet far enough so she could lean out and shout out a stern, “No.” Eighteen years had taught her that Anita would never be satisfied with a first attempt, so she wasn’t surprised when she heard her mother’s voice again.
“Sweetie, I would really love it if you joined us. Tom grilled steaks for all of us and I made some baked potatoes. Doesn’t that sound yummy?”
Tom. Was that the current boyfriend’s name? Honestly, Lumen had stopped paying attention ages ago. Knowing their names meant getting attached and the last thing she wanted to do was grow accustomed to someone her mother dated. Her relationships had a shorter lifespan than a fruit fly. Besides that, Anita had a habit of dating the worst sort of men; if they were nice to Lumen, it was only a front that faded away the second her mother left the room. The current man in her mother’s life had managed to make it a whole month; Lumen would have actually been impressed if she could be bothered to care. She stuck her head a little more out of the closet, this time making sure to raise her voice loud enough for “Tom” to hear. “I’m not hungry, Anita. And you can tell Tom to take his stake and shove it.” Lumen’s eyes cut over to where Polly was laying on the foot of her bed. The cat’s ears had perked up once the yelling had begun. The elemental raised an eyebrow at her familiar, daring her to say something; Polly remained surprisingly silent.
“Baby, you know I don’t like it when you talk like that. Now, come out and apologize to Tom.”
Had it been any other day, Lumen would have stuck her head out so that she could spit out the most insincere apology she could muster just for the sake of being left alone, but today was different. Today, she was almost looking to start a fight. Anything that could help her vent all of the horrible feelings burning inside her. She spilled out of the closet, shutting the door behind her, so that she could stand in the middle of her bedroom. Sensing what was coming, Polly rose to a sitting position and offered her ward a word of warning – which was promptly ignored. Lumen’s hands were on her hips, ready for whatever came next. “Just because you’re fucking him, doesn’t mean I have to play nice too.”
Barely a second passed and there was a loud sound as someone aggressively threw open the door to her bedroom. Her face broke into a sick grin at the sight of Tom. He had the gleam of hatred in his eyes, the one he usually reserved for when the two of them were alone. Like a scared animal, her mother was peeking around the door frame of her room. The sight only fueled her rage more.
“What did you just say?”
Lumen took a step closer to the door, feeling absolutely no fear of the man that was nearly the size of the door frame he stood under. “I said, that I’m not the one fucking you, so I don’t have to pretend that I like you. I don’t have to act like a whore for your affection just because my mother is one.” She let her eyes cut from Tom’s to glare at her mother who was now staring at the ground as though it were the most interesting thing in the world. Lumen could have cared less if her words cut through Anita; she would have had more to say if not for Tom’s sudden lurch toward her. Before she could move out of his reach, he had grasped her back the back of the neck. He gave it a slow squeeze that was hard enough to make her knees buckle slightly, but she would be damned before she gave him the satisfaction of crying out. As though she were a ragdoll, Tom pulled her toward the door until her face was a breath away from her mother’s.
“Apologize.”
“Go fuck your— ” She didn’t even get the chance to finish the insult. He squeezed her neck so hard that – willpower or not – Lumen had no choice but to scream. “FINE! Fine.” Her eyes narrowed toward her mother. “I’m sorry.” While her words might have been apologetic, the look she had given the other woman was filled with nothing but hate. How could she stand there and let someone – some stranger that she barely knew – touch her child like this? How could she claim to love a man that hurt her daughter? Apparently pleased with her apology, Tom released his grasp on Lumen, but not before pulling her backward and sending her to flying to her back in the middle of her room. Polly jumped from her previous at-attention position to Lumen’s side; her fur was raised and she hissed at both adults with all the anger her large body could manage. Not another word was spoken as she watched Anita and Tom leave the room. The only sound made was that of the door slamming as they left her alone with herself.
Without anyone to watch her, Lumen released all of her muscles and sank into the floor. Hot, angry tears began to build in her eyes. She felt Polly curl up in the crook of her armpit, but she made no motion to acknowledge her. There had never been any moment in her life more perfect for her to burst into flames. She wanted it more than anything. Lumen shut her eyes and imagined the fire pouring out from her skin, hitting the carpet, and climbing up the walls of the trailer. What would it feel like to stand in the middle of the inferno as it consumed the disgusting place she called “home”? What would it be like to know that Tom – or even her mother – hadn’t managed to make it out in time to escape the destruction? ‘You don’t really want that,’ Polly finally spoke out, despite knowing how untrue it was.
It wasn’t fair. How could life keep throwing her things that filled her with so much rage and continue to make her incapable of dealing with them? She couldn’t keep Dalila from dating someone who was terrible for her. She couldn’t stop her mother from being a horrible person. She couldn’t turn into a pillar of fire, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t burn the godforsaken trailer to the ground. ‘Lumen. No.’ Lumen ignored the warning of her familiar, as well as the claws Polly had dug into her shirt to keep her from getting up. She began to move around her room in extreme determination. A backpacked was stuffed with enough clothes to last her the next few days. Another bag was filled with what few knickknacks Lumen felt were worth saving – which didn’t consist of much. She even had enough forethought to fill the empty space of the second bag with all of Polly’s things. After giving her room a quick once over, she crossed to her window and pushed it open. In one toss, Lumen through both the bags out of window before reaching down to grab the supremely displeased Polly, who was even less happy about being flung from the trailer.
Lumen took her time from that point. Taking one of her many lighters, she patiently held the flame to every fabric and flammable object in her room. She may not have been able to do it herself, but at least she didn’t have to worry about the hot metal burning her fingers while she ran the lighter until it was empty of fluid. Polly was yelling at her from outside. It was hard to ignore the voice inside her head, but she did an admirable job. She watched as the flames grew stronger with a half-hearted smile before stepping foward and holding the sleeve of her shirt against her burning bed sheets. Lumen stood there – still – watching as the fire consumed her clothing. She wished the fire would linger on her skin, like it had when she watched Joseph. One day. The last bit of fabric was burning away when she heard banging coming from her bedroom door. Without a moment’s pause, Lumen turned and crawled through her open window.
Odds were likely that her mother and Tom would make it out of the trailer. Anita knew enough about her daughter to know that she wouldn’t burn like everything else in her room. But when the authorities arrived and the dust finally settled, Lumen wouldn’t be here. She wouldn’t come back here if she could help it. If they came looking for her, searching for someone to blame, she was convinced that it would be easy to write it off as an elemental who lost control of her power. And if they didn’t? It wasn’t like she had anything keeping her in Scarlet Oak anymore.
‘That was a stupid thing you just did.’ “Yeah. Well. What can I say? Stupid runs in the family.”