Jessalyn Weiss (_happygolucky_) wrote in light_of_may, @ 2009-07-23 07:58:00 |
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Entry tags: | 2009-06-09 |
Love, Lust & Logic
Who: Madock and Jessalyn
Where: Their tent
When: Late evening
NSFW
Despite her small argument with Madock in the car that morning, Jessalyn had had a really great day. There was a lot to do when they got there, and she did what she could to help get things set up. Plus, everyone smelled really nice, and so far, people were pretty friendly. After spending a day swimming and spending time with Madock, Jessalyn found she was pretty exhausted by the time the sun set. That didn't really deter her, however, since she sat around the campfire with everyone, attempting rather unsuccessfully to roast marshmallows without catching them on fire.
When a few more hours passed, Jessalyn was full of chocolate and marshmallow and she found herself sitting next to Madock with her head on his shoulder. He was comfortable, and smelled better than anyone around them, and the sound of his heart beat was pretty soothing. After awhile, she lifted her head to smile sleepily at him. "I'm going to go change and lay down... you don't have to come with me if you want to stay up for awhile longer." She'd noticed his sister had already disappeared with Gabe, so she didn't know if he wanted to socialize any further or not.
Thoughts flashed through Madock at that moment. As soon as he'd heard the word 'change' he wanted to follow along after her. "I'll come with you." he told her, probably too quickly. Like he'd resist following when she was going to be at least partially unclothed. The argument they'd had was long since forgotten by the boy and he'd much rather not ever look back on it again if he could manage. So off to the tent they went, his fingers laced through hers. Being social was alright for a while, but there were plenty of things that Madock would rather be doing. Laying next to Jessalyn was one of them.
She smiled when he said he would come with her, since she really wanted him to. They walked hand in hand toward their tent, thankful that it was a decent distance away from the fire. She knew people might stay up late, which she didn't mind, but with her ears, she didn't want to be able to hear what was going on in those other tents later. She released his hand to unzip their tent, and she ducked down to step inside. Toeing off her sandals, she sat down on the sleeping bags and dug through her bag for her pajamas. "I have fun today! Did you?" She was pretty sure he had, but it was always nice to check and make sure.
Following her into the tent, Madock took off his sneakers and zipped the tent back up. He set his shoes aside and pulled his socks off, thankful there hadn't been a lot of hiking. At least his feet didn't stink. That would have been lovely. Stinky feet the first time you sleep next to your girlfriend. Spectacular. Tomorrow he'd have to be sure and wear his flip-flops instead. "I did." he nodded, catching the hem of his shirt and pulling it up and over his head. Madock's normal pajamas were always a pair of boxers so there was no ruffling through bags for him. "I'm glad I came."
"Me too." Her eyes drifted down to his chest. He had a really nice one. She could see the muscles there... she supposed being an athlete helped with the whole staying in shape thing. He had already seen her naked, so she wasn't embarrassed or anything as she pushed her skirt down her hips. She sat back to kick the soft material off and then pulled on a pair of cotton shorts. Jessalyn tugged her t-shirt off next and unhooked her bra, her eyes still on Madock. "Maybe we can go exploring tomorrow. See what's around?"
Madock wanted to keep watching her take her clothes off, especially when she went to unhook the bra fastenings, but he figured that he should be a gentleman. Diverting his eyes, he focused on unfastening the button and zipper on his shorts and pushed them down, keeping his boxers in place. "Exploring sounds fun." he smiled. "Least I don't have to worry about getting lost. You can probably smell your way back, right?"
Jessalyn grinned when he looked away. She wouldn't have cared if he watched her. She didn't quite understand modesty, especially when it came to her boyfriend. Besides, she was totally watching him anyway. She reached for her tank top and pulled it on as she answered him. "Yes. I have a great sense of direction. I promise we won't get lost." She gathered her discarded clothes and shoved them into her bag. Scooting back on the sleeping bags, she bit her lip and then smiled at him. She had to keep her hormones in check. That was very important.
Once he'd stuffed his own clothes back into his bag, he pushed it aside and shifted himself to sit beside her. "Good. You can be like my own living, breathing compass." he grinned. He let a hand brush up over her arm and across her bare shoulder to catch hold of her chin and turn her face enough that he could kiss her. "I have pj pants if you're uncomfortable sleeping with me like this. I mean... sleeping beside me... yeah... that..."
"I like that," Jessalyn said with a small laugh. "Usually it's guys leading the way... but you won't have to ever stop and ask for directions while you're with me." She pressed a kiss against his lips before shaking her head gently. "I could never be uncomfortable with you. You could sleep butt naked and I would be happy with it, as long as you were sleeping with me." She lifted her hands to his shoulders and kissed him again. She quite liked half naked Madock anyway. And she knew if he wore pajama bottoms, he'd be burning up laying next to her.
He smiled against her lips before finally pulling away from them and tipping his forehead against hers. "Keep kissing me like that and I might have to put my pants on anyway." he teased. Any more of those kisses and she'd be able to see just how much he liked them.
She grinned and nuzzled his nose with hers. "I think you're perfectly safe being pantless in here with me." Having a hard on and sleeping in pajama pants next to Jessalyn all night would definitely not be all that comfortable for him. "Besides, I like kissing you. It's like your lips are magic or something, with the way they make me feel." Jessalyn pressed another tiny kiss against his lips. "Everything gets hazy, and my body feels hotter than usual, and there's this pleasant tingling sensation that runs all through me."
Madock's lips parted and he caught hold of her lower lip, giving it a little tug and sucking on it for a half second before releasing it. "I think if I had to describe the way I feel when you kiss me, that'd be the description." he murmured. "I don't think that my lips are magic, but either way, I don't wanna stop kissing you if I don't have to." he whispered, kissing her once more.
"Madock's magic lips," Jessalyn said, smiling against his lips. "And you don't ever have to stop kissing me. You can kiss me until our lips are numb if you want." Without giving it much thought, Jessalyn shifted to face him and slipped onto his lap, her arms snaking around his neck as her legs wrapped around his waist. She nuzzled her nose against his gently. "This has been like, the best nine days ever."
"That's how long it's been?" he questioned, letting his fingers settle on her hips. "Nine days that we've been together? Or nine days since the car ride?" He felt a little bad that he didn't remember, himself, but he was a guy, she knew that. And he was Madock Korey and that spoke for itself. He barely remembered what he had for breakfast that morning.
"Well, okay, seven days?" Jessalyn grinned, her fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. "Nine days since you drove me home. It feels like longer, I guess." They had only been together a week. It was a strange feeling. She felt like she'd been with him so much longer. But Jessalyn had a great memory, so she supposed that made up for Madock's lack of one. She kissed him again, softer this time.
"Seven days." he murmured back against her lips. "Feels like longer." he whispered. "In a good way though. Like... I shoulda been with you all this time. A week feels like not enough time to feel the way I do about you." Madock explained. "It's like... the most intense sense of 'like' I've ever felt."
She smiled and brought her hands up to his face, brushing her fingers over his cheeks. "If it makes you feel better, I always thought you were cute," she teased softly. And then she kissed him again before she opened her eyes to look at him. "It's intense for me too. I suppose I should have been more surprised at how much I already like you, but it feels natural to me... being with you."
"Cute, huh?" Madock smiled. "Cute is good. I'd prefer hot or something, but cute... cute works." he teased. He really didn't much care waht she called him, as long as she was attracted to him, that was what mattered. "Sometimes I wonder if I'm falling too fast for you." he breathed. "And then other times I just don't care because I can't help the way I feel, ya know? Like you said, it feels right."
"Well, you are hot," Jessalyn said, laughing a bit. "And adorable, and funny, and fun. I always knew you would be." Her hands slid up into his hair again and she rested her forehead against his. "I don't think there's such thing as falling too fast... if it feels right, then it feels right. All you can do is go along with it and enjoy the ride while it lasts, right?" Ransom and Charlotte had only been together a month, and Jessalyn knew it would only be a matter of time before Charlotte was officially part of the family. Who's to say Jessalyn couldn't fall for someone just as quickly? "I think I love you," she said, murmuring the words against his lips.
His eyes were closed when she whispered those words against his lips. Madock swallowed air and forced his eyes back open to catch hers. For a second there he was certain that she told him she thought she loved him. Loved him. But no, there was no way. She wouldn't say that to him. She didn't love him, right? How could someone fall for him? Crazy and mixed up and half the time forgetting what people were even talking about. He couldn't even remember how long they'd been dating and she thought she loved him? She couldn't have said that. He was imagining things. Wishful thinking perhaps. "What?" he questioned after a moment. He wondered what he could have possibly misheard. What he had turned into 'I think I love you'. "I thought you said something that I don't think you really said..." he explained. What if she had said it? Would she be upset that he hadn't said it back? Should he say it back? God stop thinking and just say it. Wait, don't say it. You can't say it. If you say it, and she didn't say it... she'll think you're a freak.
Jessalyn pulled back to look at him, and she could practically feel the wheels turning in his head. Smiling a touch, she smoothed her fingers through his hair. She supposed she could be hurt by his response, but it wasn't as it he looked disgusted, and he wasn't freaking out. He just looked confused. "I said I think I love you. It's okay if you don't want to say it back. I just wanted to let you know. I know it's super fast, and probably not realistic or something, but I think that's what that intensity is, at least for me." Jessalyn's smile widened and she released a breath, as if she were relieved. "I hope that's okay."
Madock's lips parted so he could say something, but no words came out and he closed it again and just looked at her for a long moment. Finally he let his hands slip away from her waist and up her sides, letting them brush over her collar bones and up her neck to her face. "I think I might love you too." he murmured after a moment. "And yeah... it's fast... but... I don't think I care..."
Her heart leapt up into her throat when he said he loved her back. Or rather, he thought he might, since that's what she told him. Jessalyn smiled. "Are you sure? I mean... I don't want you to feel like you have to say it back just because I said it..." She didn't care that it was fast either. She felt like she had been waiting for him and now she found him. Most people wouldn't understand, but she didn't care.
"I've 'liked' girls before, Jessa. Dated girls before and whatever it was that I was feeling for them... this... what I'm feeling for you is different. It's... more? Better? Intensified. The feelings that I had for them are like one one-billionth of what I feel for you. If that's not love, I don't know what is." Madock said, letting his eyes drift away from her face for a moment. He wondered if he shouldn't feel this way so fast. A week? That wasn't much time. Seven days. Seven days that he'd spent thinking of nothing but Jessalyn. Seven perfect days. Seven days that had him feeling like he could spend seven billion more days with her.
She knew he wasn't lying to her. Jessalyn could tell by the way his heart was beating, the way he looked her in the eyes. And deep down, Jessalyh knew Madock would never say anything he didn't mean. Not when it was about something this important. She felt ridiculously happy and Jessalyn leaned in to kiss him eagerly, her arms wrapping tightly around him again. "I love you," she said again, loving the way the words felt on her lips. She had only ever said those words to her family. And now it felt like it meant so much more.
Madock had never had a reason to say those words to anyone, aside from family, and even his dad didn't get that much. So really, the two most important women in his life, his mother and sister, were the only ones who got those words from him. But Jessalyn? Jessalyn was important too. He really thought he loved her. What else explained it? Nothing. The intensity inside of him made him feel like there was nothing else it could be. Love. He loved her. "Love you too." he murmured back, letting his arms slide back around her again, pulling her body closer to his.
Jessalyn was pretty sure those were the best words ever. Especially coming from him. She wanted to run outside and tell everyone but that was just her giddyness taking over. Jessalyn captured his lips with hers, kissing him deeply and passionately. She loved being so close to him, feeling his heartbeat, hearing it... knowing he felt the same way about her as she felt about him. It was perfect.
Tilting his head, Madock let his tongue move against Jessalyn's, exploring ever little curve and dip of her mouth. He wanted to kiss her forever. Wanted to touch her forever. Part of him was wondering if Claire would think he was nuts. Telling a girl he loved her after a week. But that didn't matter. Maybe he was crazy. Maybe he was losing his mind. He knew he was losing his mind because he was crazy for Jessalyn. Completely.
She thought maybe Ransom would disapprove, but then again maybe he wouldn't. He loved Charlotte after all, enough to want to make her his mate. Why couldn't Jessalyn have that? Not that she was going to jump right into sex, but there was a massive step right there. Falling in love. "Are we crazy?" Jessalyn asked breathlessly, once she pulled away from his mouth. Her body felt hotter than usual, but that was because Madock Korey knew how to kiss.
"Does it really matter?" Madock questioned, just as breathlessly. He shifted his position and moved to lay her down on the sleeping back, not moving from his position above her, even pressing against her just a little bit. She felt pretty awesome underneath him and if he hadn't wanted her before, he did now. But there would be a time for that and it wasn't tonight. Damn it. "I know I'm crazy." he whispered, leaning down to kiss her. "I'm crazy about you, Jessa."
"It doesn't matter," Jessalyn whispered, reaching up to brush her hand over his jaw. "I'm crazy about you too. You're all I think about, I want to be with you all the time..." She supposed a lot of people went through this at the beginning of a relationship, but she felt like it was never going to go away. How was she going to be able to stand it, when she was still in the pack lands and he was living in Ann Arbor? Not that she wanted to be thinking about that right now. Jessalyn lifted her hips to press against his, sighing softly at the way it felt before she kissed him again.
"Sometimes you tease me so bad..." he whispered. "I've never wanted something as bad as I want you." he admitted. His lips were on hers again and then sliding across her cheek and down her neck to her collarbone and then to her shoulder and then back again. He couldn't get enough of the way she felt, the way she tasted. "I wanna be with you all the time too." he whispered, pressing his hips down against hers. "Does everyone feel like this?" he questioned. "There's gotta be something different about us right? I don't... I don't know how I could feel so much for someone in such a... in so little time but... you... you're in my brain. Constantly."
A soft, sharp sigh escaped her lips when he pressed against her. She could feel those instinctual feelings starting to rise. That desire to make her his completely. Jessalyn shifted underneath him, focusing on his face rather than what her body wanted. If she made Madock her mate after a week, her parents would kill her. And Ransom might kill him. She had to be patient. "That's flattering, since there's so much that fills your brain and bounces around before it's gone again," Jessalyn said teasingly, her hands cupping his face as she leaned up to capture another small kiss. "I don't know if everyone feels like this... they should, if they don't." It was the most amazing feeling! How could anyone not want this. "All I know is that it works for us, and that's all that matters."
He wanted her so bad he could almost taste it. Like it was right there in front of him, just out of reach, but he knew better. It had only been a week. One week. She was his, he was hers, that was what mattered and he knew it. He could be patient. Or at least try to be patient. "It works for us." he agreed. "We just click. That's a good thing right? I mean... we just... work together."
"Yes." Jessalyn smiled as she rested her head back on the pillow beneath her. "We work. I don't care if it's too fast for some, I think it's just perfect. Besides, whatever we say or do, that's our business. I don't think we have to explain it to anyone." Though she was sure she would probably have to, if things got more serious than they were. Jessalyn slid her fingers down to his neck and over his bare shoulders. "I don't think we have to follow any set rules, or follow the right steps. We just have to do what works for us. And I love you. I can't help it and I'm not going to deny it or apologize for it."
"I love you too." Madock told her with a little nod, leaning down to kiss her again. "And we don't have to explain it." At least not right now. He wondered if he should tell Claire. Probably not since she'd think that he was completely batshit for falling that fast. He couldn't help it though. He loved her. That was what he felt. That's how he felt and he wasn't going to hide it anymore. What was the point. Honestly, he felt like he loved her from the moment he really started talking to her. The pieces just fell into place and everything worked. You don't mess with perfection, but you really don't mess with imperfection because it's the most perfect form of perfect. He shifted enough to move his body weight to one side so he could free up his other arm to brush her hair away from his face. "We're right for each other because we're so wrong for everyone else." he murmured. "I don't think we fit with anyone else. And that probably sounds really stupid or comes out like I think you couldn't get someone else, but you could... but... I don't want that because you're mine and... I... I really need to stop talking because I make no sense."
Jessalyn grinned and shook her head. "You make sense," she told him. "I know what you mean. I could be with someone else, and you could be with someone else, but maybe it wouldn't work the same... as being with each other?" Her hand slid down over his waist and she found she wanted to nuzzle him all over again. "I don't want you to ever stop talking because you don't think you make sense... I think I've done pretty well at deciphering Madock speak." Jessalyn smiled and lifted a hand to run through his hair.
"Which is why we work so good together." he responded. "You know what I'm saying even when I don't think I even know what I'm saying. I like that. I like... not having to explain myself or feel stupid around you because I bounce through topics one after the other or don't pay attention or whatever other reasons that chicks end up hating me." Madock told her, leaning in to press a trail of kisses from her neck across her cheek and to her mouth. "You're gonna be stuck with me for a really long time Jessa."
"And you put up with me, even when I say things that might put other people off," Jessalyn said, arching her neck when she felt his lips there. "I like that I can be myself with you, and I don't have to filter anything." Not that she was sure she could, even if she tried. "I think you're going to be stuck with me for a really long time too," she said, her eyes closing as she enjoyed the feel of his lips against her skin.
"I wanna kiss you all over." he whispered as his lips moved back down her cheek and then to her neck and along the curve to her shoulder. "I love the way you taste and the way you smell..." he breathed. "There's just... something about you that drives me completely insane." Madock explained. And it did. He was crazy to begin with, but obviously more so with Jessalyn in the picture.
She giggled and felt her cheeks flush a tiny bit. "It's my irresistible animal magnetism," she explained, clearly teasing. Her hands moved over his body, eager to touch every inch she could reach in that position. "You drive me crazy too. It's hard to keep everything in check the way I'm supposed to. I can't think when you kiss me... not that I care about thinking. Thinking is overrated." Her eyes closed and she arched up again. "I feel like I'm on fire when you touch me."
"Thinking is overrated." Madock agreed. "And yeah, probably is your animal magnetism." he smiled against the crook of her neck. His fingers slid down her sides and slowly pushed the material of her shirt up just a little so he could touch the bare skin of her body beneath it. "Fire." he nodded. "Definitely feels like fire."
She shivered when he touched her, and Jessalyn opened her eyes, her smile soft and relaxed. "I want so many things when you do things like that," she said, her voice becoming a bit hoarse from her body's response to him. Things that she shouldn't want right now. And couldn't have. Jessalyn had never been known to make smart choices sometimes. Sometimes she did things just to please other people. But the one thing she really, really wanted, she knew she shouldn't. But she wanted it anyway.
"I want things too..." he whispered. He lightly bit her neck and slipped one of his hands away from her side to snake it between their bodies. Lightly pressing against her through her shorts. He could feel the heat rising from her body and that just made him want her more. Damn mating for life. He knew she wanted to wait and part of him wanted to wait too, but a big part of him didn't want to wait. "Being patient bites." he whispered. "I guess I should be glad that we're smart enough to know better right? Even if I want you so bad I can barely stand it."
A shaky breath escaped Jessalyn's lips, and she lifted her hips against his hand, moaning softly as her hands slid over his forearms, gripping the muscles there. "Smart... yes..." Being smart was overrated too. How was she supposed to say no when he touched her that way? And he loved her. And they fit, and she knew she would never fit this well with anyone else. Ever. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she looked at him again. "I can't think when you touch me like that... but I don't want you to stop."
Madock swallowed and slowly slid his hand away from her again. "It's hard for me to think too." he whispered. "I wanna touch you so bad but I'm afraid if I keep touching you I might not know when to stop." he admitted. He didn't want to push too far. Didn't want to lose her. Didn't want to make a wrong turn, take a wrong step. Even if his heart was telling him that there were no wrong steps with Jessalyn.
"I want you to touch me," Jessalyn said, trying not to pout when he pulled his hand away from her. That wasn't fair. "You've touched me before," she whispered. Licking her lips, Jessalyn slid her hand down to push underneath the elastic of his boxers where she slid her fingers over him. "I'll tell you if we need to stop... I just..." She was feeling hot and mildly frustrated, wanting him so badly right now. "I don't think I can lay next to you all night without... this."
He let out a breath when she slid her fingers over him, his body heating up all over at the mere touch. His hand shifted again and this time dipped beneath the fabric of her shorts and panties to slide between her thighs and really touch her. "This... ah... I want you so bad..." he breathed. "God..."
"Madock," she gasped, her thighs clenching around his hand when she felt him touch her intimately. "I want you too... I always want you. When I'm with you... when I'm not..." She swallowed and tried to calm her heart that seemed to be pounding a mile a second. She stroked him slowly, enjoying the feel of his silky skin in her hand. Her free hand slid down, underneath her shorts and panties, to cover his. She knew he could tell how badly she wanted him. She couldn't remember ever being so wet.
Madock arched his body against hers, pressing both against her hand and her body. The friction was awesome and if he closed his eyes, he was certain it would feel almost like he was actually with the girl. He picked up a slow little pace, pushing his fingers as deep as he could manage. She was tight and hot and wet and it was so hard to not just pull back and jerk her panties down. No, you can't do that. he told himself. "I do too..." he whispered.
Jessalyn smiled, writhing a bit against his hand as the wonderful sensations began to pulse through her body. A small moan escaped her and she lifted her knee, parting her legs wider as she lifted her hips again, clenching her body around his fingers. "That feels good," Jessalyn whispered. She wanted to make him feel as good as he made her. Wanted to make him crazy. She wished they were naked, and she wished he was laying between her legs, buried inside of her. Stupid, stupid hormones.
Stupid hormones indeed. Everything she was feeling, he was feeling too, quite obviously by the way that his body responded to her attentions. Her little moan urged one in response from Madock and he pressed his lips to hers to stifle the sounds. Everything she was doing to him only seemed even hotter knowing that they could get caught. That tiny sense of danger that someone might hear what they were doing, ruffled through him. "I want to be inside you so bad..." he admitted, nipping at her lower lip. "You know I'd take you right now if I could..." he breathed.
She opened her eyes, breathing harshly against his mouth. Her eyes studied his, her heartbeat picking up as she felt him harden further in her hand. "I... we don't have any condoms," she whispered. It was the closest she could come to saying she wanted him inside of her. Because she did. And if they had protection, Jessalyn was pretty sure she would be making him get it now. Maybe that would be a stupid decision, but it was her decision to make, and no one else's.
Madock let out a breath and nodded. "I know..." Damn it, he knew. He wished he did. But of course he didn't. Why would he? He didn't think they'd be getting so close to that point for a while. He was a virgin and so was she. What'd they need with condoms? He cursed himself for not having any. "Doesn't mean I want you any less." he whispered, kissing her again and moving his fingers once more, sliding away from her and into her again. God she'd feel so awesome around him. He knew she would. Tight and wet and god he wanted her.
Jessalyn kissed him back, sliding her tongue against his, mimicking the way his fingers moved inside of her body. She knew he wanted her. And she wanted him. And she felt a little guilty that she hadn't brought condoms, but like Madock, she had thought they'd needed them. Now she wished she had brought some. Maybe it was just her hormones talking... but she was aching in a way she'd never ached before. "We could... I mean... you don't have to come inside of me," Jessalyn said breathlessly, wondering if that was as stupid as having sex so soon. She didn't know. Or care at that moment.
He pulled back just a little so he could look at her. His brain was flooding through all sorts of different thoughts. Would he do that, be her mate for life after a week. Risk doing it without a condom. He wanted to be with her so badly that his brain was clouded with lust and need more than logical thoughts. She was what mattered now and what she wanted. "Y-you'd let... you'd want me... you'd want to be with me?" he whispered.
She licked her lips and then nodded. Jessalyn knew in her heart she loved Madock. And maybe she was still afraid that he would move on eventually and leave her behind, but she had to have some faith, didn't she? He was right, after all. They fit together. She didn't know that anyone else would ever want her the way Madock did, and she didn't know if she would ever want anyone else... and if they had sex, she never would. "I've wanted to be with you," Jessalyn explained quietly. Maybe she was afraid Ransom would somehow hear her and come barging in to pull them apart. "I just... wasn't sure how you felt about me. Wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do... now I do."
She was whispering, so when Madock finally worked up something to say, he whispered too. "I want to be with you too..." he breathed. "Do... do you think they'd hear us?" he questioned. Her brother could hear like she could, right? Were they far enough away that he wouldn't be able to hear her, them?
Biting her lip this time, Jessalyn glanced toward the front of the tent. Ransom's tent with Charlotte wasn't that far away, but it was enough that she was sure he wouldn't know. Maybe he was too preoccupied with Charlotte or the other kids outside to even think about her being in here. Jessalyn finally shook her head and shifted her gaze back to Madock. "No... they won't hear us," she whispered. "We'll just have to be quiet." Hopefully she could be.
He swallowed and just looked at her for a long moment. "Do you think you can be that quiet?" he questioned. "It's... supposed to hurt a little, right? I mean... that's what everyone says. The first time hurts... I don't... I don't want to hurt you..." Madock admitted. But he wanted her. Wanted to be with her and in order to accomplish that, he'd have to hurt her. A little.
"I'll be okay," Jessalyn promised, though admittedly she was a little nervous. What if it hurt a lot? What if she cried out and someone heard and thought she was hurt? She would just have to bite her lip really hard is all. Jessalyn licked her bottom lip again and then pulled her hand from his boxers to sit up and slowly take off her tank top before discarding of it, her eyes on his face. "I'll be okay," she said again, feeling breathless even though they hadn't done anything yet.
He slid his fingers away from her body and watched her take her top off, eyes trailing across her body as she did so. Was he really going to do this? Was Madock finally going to lose his virginity? To a girl he'd been talking to for about a week? But it was Jessalyn, it was right, right? It felt right. "You're okay with it being here?" he questioned. It was a tent out in the woods, didn't girls want love and candles and music for their first time?
She nodded at his question, realizing she felt more comfortable here than in a bedroom with all that romantic stuff. It would be nicer if there wasn't other people around, but she didn't need it to be perfect. She just needed it to be with the perfect guy. And Madock was that guy. Jessalyn continued to watch him as she lifted her hips to push her shorts and panties down her thighs and legs before kicking them off. She was nervous, but excited. And hoped against hope that no one would decide to interrupt them. "Are you okay with it being here?" she asked, somewhat belatedly as she was finally naked in front of him.
He nodded and let his trembling hands move to the waistline of his boxers, slowly pushing the material down his hips and maneuvering himself free of them. "If you are..." he told her, even though they were already both naked and it was going to be here regardless. He found the blanket he'd brought with them from his bed and as he moved closer to her, pulled it over them. "We're really gonna do this?" he asked her. "You're gonna... be stuck with me." Madock told her. "We don't have to... I'll understand."
Jessalyn swallowed hard, her eyes still locked onto his. It was a monumental decision. One that she couldn't take lightly. Even if she knew it was right, her family might not agree. Maybe she just didn't have to tell them for awhile. All she cared about right now was Madock. And he was laying on top of her, warm and naked. "I want to be stuck with you," Jessalyn whispered, her hands coming up to slide over his waist. "But you're going to be stuck with me... no matter what happens between us." Even if he left her, she wouldn't be able to let him go. She hoped he realized that. God, she hoped she realized that.
"I want to be with you." Madock told her. "I'm not going anywhere. I don't want to go anywhere." he assured her. "When I'm with you, it just... feels right and... I don't know how I managed to not see it sooner. Not see you sooner, but now that I have I can't imagine being with anyone else. I can't imagine anyone else making it this special..."
Her hands slid up to his chest and then higher to cup his face. "I know. I can't imagine being with anyone else either." If no one else understood that? Well, that was their problem. Jessalyn couldn't begin to describe or explain how she felt about Madock. It was like she'd be waiting for him. And now he was there, and he wanted her. He loved her. "It's special, because it's with you."
"So you're sure you're ready for this?" Madock asked her again. He wanted her to be sure. Wanted her to not have to question herself. He didn't want her to regret it later. "Do you really want this? Now?" Why was he still asking? She was warm and wet and tight and pressed against him and it was only a mere bit of movement and he'd be inside of her.
She tried not to be impatient with him, because she understood he was just making sure she wouldn't regret this decision later. But it was so hard to think and concentrate when she could feel him between her legs and that instinctive side of her wanted to lift her hips and have him inside of her. "I'm sure," Jessalyn said, wriggling her hips gently against his. She brought her knees up higher against his waist. Her eyes met his and she paused for a moment, licking her lips. "Are you sure?" Because he kept asking her, so maybe he was doubting this now. She didn't know.
"I'm sure." Madock nodded finally getting the courage to slip his hand between them and wrapping it around himself. He guiding the tip of his member down to press lightly against her, not pushing into her just yet. "I don't want to hurt you..." he breathed, leaning down to kiss her. "Tell me if I need to stop, okay?"
Jessalyn sucked in a sharp breath and felt herself tense instinctively, even though it didn't hurt. Yet. She was just afraid it would. "I will," Jessalyn whispered, pressing her lips to his again. Maybe if he just kissed her when he pushed in, any sound she made would be muffled. Her hands pressed to his shoulders, gripping them tightly as she shifted underneath him, resisting the urge to lift her hips again. She wanted him to go at his own pace. "I'll be fine," she said, forcing herself to relax.
He pushed into her then, up until he felt a bit of resistance. God she was tight and she felt so good but... he wasn't even in all the way yet. Moving down closer to her, he pressed his lips to hers and pushed into her, past that point of no return. He couldn't take it back now. Did he want to? No, he didn't want to. He couldn't make himself want to. He hoped she wouldn't scream. What if she bled? What if he hurt her? What if he came inside of her? He was pretty close already and she felt so fucking good. He knew it wouldn't last long even if he went slow. What if he messed up? Please stop thinking.
Jessalyn moaned when he pushed into her, and then his lips were on hers and there was a sharp, searing pain between her legs. She jerked against him, crying out softly against his lips before she fell silent. The pain didn't last long at all, and it began to dull into something... much, much better. Jessalyn tore her lips from his, gasping for breath as she finally lifted her hips up to take him in deeper. "Wow," she whispered, her eyes wide with awe for a moment before she looked at him again. "That feels... amazing." She caught the faint scent of blood, but it didn't worry her.
He felt her crying out against his mouth and at that same moment saw her swimming at the lake. Fuck you memories. I'm busy. he thought to himself as he focused on her and the sound she'd made. He'd hurt her. He could feel her body tightening around him and he stopped his movements completely, not pulling his mouth from hers. Then she was silent. Then she was pulling her mouth from his and taking a breath and pushing her hips up. God that felt good. He nodded a little and tried to collect his thoughts. "Feels... amazing..." he whispered in agreement. Better than amazing really. "We gotta wait a second though because... god... feels almost a little too good and I don't... don't wanna... ya know..." God why are you even telling her that, you idiot?!
She smiled at him, lifting one hand to brush it against his jawline. "I'll wait a second," she said quietly, though her body was throbbing and wanting to move. "I'll wait all night if you want me to." She had a feeling she knew why he had to wait. And she didn't want to push him further for fear that he might come inside of her. She was already making one monumental decision, she didn't want to worry about that other thing. "I didn't know it could feel this good," she breathed after a moment, her eyes closing softly.
Madock nodded and leaned down a little to kiss her neck and up her jawline to her cheek and then her lips. "Me either." he admitted. He was still terrified of doing something wrong. Of hurting her again or not making her feel as good as she was making him feel. He was having sex. Right now. With Jessalyn. Oh my god. Another thing he wouldn't be telling Claire. Which sucked, but she didn't want to hear about his sex life anyway. He didn't like keeping things from her, but this? This was just between him and Jessalyn.
She ran her hands through his hair, feeling her breath start to quicken as her body shifted beneath his again. "I... " She really wanted him to move inside of her. Jessalyn licked her dry lips and kissed him again before she began to rock her hips against his. She just couldn't hold back her instincts anymore. She wanted him. Wanted every inch of him against her. She definitely wouldn't be telling Ransom. Or anyone. Maybe they would be able to tell, she didn't know, but she was of the same mind as Madock. This was between them.
"God..." he whispered. He tried to concentrate on not going off. "Jessalyn..." he whispered, lightly kissing her lips and trailing his lips down to her neck and back up to her lips again. "You feel so good..." Slowly he rocked his hips back against hers. Slow little movements against her. God it felt good. She felt good. His fingers slid through her hair, tugging the strands just a little. He let out the tiniest groan against her mouth.
He felt good too... so good. And she tried to verbalize that, but it was hard when she was so caught up in how her body was feeling. Coherency was such a hard thing to conquer at the moment. "M-Madock... god..." She moaned again and arched against him, her legs wrapping tightly around his waist. It was amazing. Every single time he pushed into her, she wanted to explode. She couldn't even describe how he made her feel. But she felt something deeper, something more binding. She wanted to keep him safe, and with her at all times. She was his completely.
The way she said his name had his body begging for release, but he held back. "Je-Jessa..." he breathed back, arching a bit harder against her. "God you feel... so... perfect..." he whispered between thrusts. "Wanted you... s-so bad..."
"Wanted you too," she whispered before gasping and tightening her legs around him. He seemed to press against that one spot between her legs that just heightened everything and she strained against him, desperate to feel that release that began to build inside of her. She couldn't believe how perfectly he filled her. Like he was made for her somehow. Jessalyn turned her head, burying her face against his neck as she gasped louder, struggling to keep her moans at bay so no one outside would hear.
"Shh..." he whispered even though he wanted to hear her. Wanted to make her cry out. Wanted to hear more of those noises, louder noises even. He moved back enough to kiss her again, slowing his back back down because again that pressure was building up inside of him. "I can't... keep holding back for very long..." he whispered. "Feels... too good." he explained.
She kissed him desperately, her head falling back on her pillow when she had the need to breathe. She bit her lip to stifle the moan that threatened to escape and she arched her hips up again, drawing him deeper. Her hands slid over his back, her nails dragging along his skin. "It's okay..." Jessalyn breathed. If he couldn't hold back, she didn't want him to try and risk coming inside of her. They had all the time in the world to do this again and again and perfect everything.
He gave one more deep thrust against her and then pulled back. "Yeah... I can't keep going..." he said, obviously not happy with that as he slipped away from her, reaching between them and glancing down to make sure he hadn't already came because damn it felt good and he might have but... no, no come just a little... blood? "Oh god..." he whispered, worried eyes flicking up to catch hers. "Are you okay?" Madock whispered urgently, afraid that she was hurt more than she'd let on. There was blood. Coming was the last thing on his mind when there was blood.
Before she could stop, Jessalyn moaned with soft disappointment when he pulled away from her. Her hips jerked up, wanting to stop him from withdrawing, but she couldn't and she knew it was better for him to do that... elsewhere. When he whispered, Jessalyn opened her eyes and looked down frightfully, afraid he was going to tell her he'd come already. But... thank god. No. "It's okay. I mean, I'm okay... it's normal." At least sex ed had told her that. Jessalyn smiled at him. "I'm fine, Madock, I promise."
For the first time in his life, Madock was thankful his mother always told him to pack a lot of clean underwear. His boxers right now got used for a towel and he wiped himself off. He knew there might be blood, but actually seeing it was still a little terrifying. "You're sure?" he asked again, eyes sliding up her body and to her face.
"I'm sure," Jessalyn said with a soft roll of her eyes before she smiled at him. "Did you... I mean... already?" He had seemed too concerned about the blood, so she wasn't very sure. All she wanted to do was jump into his arms and cling to him. Because he was hers now.
"No." he told her, shaking his head. "I didn't.. I was... I don't... I didn't because I... I mean... blood? I just... my brain kinda focused on that instead." Madock felt like an idiot for admitting that, but no coming meant no pregnancy so it didn't matter.
She sat up and laughed softly before leaning in to kiss him. "Only you would be more worried about me than getting off." She reached down with her hand to wrap her fingers around him. He was still a little slick from her, despite having wiped himself off with his boxers. Jessalyn began to stroke him, her free hand coming up to cup his cheek. "I want you to come, Madock..."
He swallowed when her fingers wrapped around him. The fact that she was still so close to him, that he was still between her thighs made it even better than the other times she'd touched him. If that was possible. Her talking like that made it even harder to hold back the urge to let go. "God..." he whispered, lifting his hand up and moving it down her stomach and between her thighs. She was still soaking wet and he wanted her to feel as good as he'd wished he'd been able to make her feel during the act itself. "I want you to come too.." he breathed as he slid a finger into her. "Was it okay?" he whispered, leaning in enough to kiss her. "While it lasted I mean..."
"Yes," Jessalyn breathed, her head falling back a bit when he slipped a finger into her. "It was wonderful... and I can't wait to do it again." And again, and again! He was her mate now. She was bonded to him in ways she couldn't begin to describe. She didn't even think she could explain to him properly. She just wanted to do anything and everything to make him happy. Her free hand gripped his hip as she quickened the pace of her strokes, her eyes closed again. Even without him inside of her, she still felt those wonderful tingles coursing through her veins.
She wanted to do it again? That thought sent a shiver running straight up his spine and down his chest straight between his thighs. "God..." he grunted, pushing himself further into her palm, rocking his hips in a much quicker motion than he'd been able to do while inside of her. He thought about what it would be like to be inside her again and that thought pushed him closer to the edge. He picked up the boxers he'd been using for a towel and handed it to her. There'd be a mess if she didn't have something to keep the stickiness from going everywhere. His fingers kept their time with the movements he made against her hand. He wished he could have made her crash with the sex, while he was inside of her, but maybe next time. Yes, next time.
Jessalyn would have giggled when Madock gave her the boxers, but she was too busy enjoying what she was doing and what he was doing to her. She had already been so close when he'd been inside of her, and she closed her eyes again, remembering how it had felt. The way he filled her, and the way her body adjusted to him. How it felt when he thrust inside of her and pulled out again. God. Jessalyn moaned and then bit her lip hard as her body began to tremble. She rubbed her hand against his erection a bit faster, trying to concentrate on Madock, but it was hard when she was reaching that peak. "Madock," Jessalyn gasped, tensing as her hips jerked against his hand and she felt her orgasm ripple through her.
That was it for him. That gasp, the way she jerked against his hips. The way her fingers tugged at his cock so quickly. He was falling over the edge and he leaned forward to catch her lips with his as he fell over that edge. His body jerked against her fingers, twitching with the coursing pleasure pulsating through his body. "Fuck..." he whispered, lips still pressed lightly against hers, sucking in a gasp of breath.
Jessalyn was still dealing with the aftershocks of her own orgasm when she felt Madock tense and then felt the hot, sticky fluid run over her fingers. She breathed in again and worked him with her hand until she was sure he was finished. Once he stilled, she took the boxers and wiped off her fingers before smiling at him. Even without having a condom and Madock having to pull out, that had been everything she'd wanted it to be.
Madock was pretty certain that he'd died and gone to heaven. She'd never want to leave him now, just like he felt he never wanted to leave her. He couldn't believe after the conversation they'd had in the car and the little fight that had gone along with it that she'd even wanted to do what they'd just did. But she loved him. She'd said so herself. Pulling his hands away from her, he wiped himself off with the boxers and leaned in to kiss her again. "I promise next time will be better." he murmured.
"This time was perfect," Jessalyn promised, returning his kiss softly. Her parents would freak. Ransom might freak... but she didn't care. She'd made a choice and it was her choice to make. Maybe it was rushed, but again, she didn't care. She knew how she felt. She loved Madock, and that wasn't going to change. Especially now. She just had to have enough trust and faith in him to believe he wouldn't leave either. And right now, she did. She slid her hands down his shoulders and arms before scooting back onto the sleeping bag. "You have to sleep naked with me now," she told him with a mischievous grin. "No pajamas for you."
"No pajamas for me then." he smiled, rolling up the boxers and stuffing them down in one of the compartments of his backpack. Moving over towards, her, he pulled the blanket up over his bottom half and cuddled up next to her. "I'm glad it was with you." he said after a long moment. "Really glad it was with you."
She smiled and snuggled down into the blanket, pleased at the feel of his warmth against her. No doubt he would be burning up pressed up against her later, but for now, it was nice. "I'm glad it was with you too," Jessalyn murmured, closing her eyes. "There would have been no one else... I wanted it to be you."
He smiled at that. How could he not? She was warm and soft beside him and she smelled so good. He wanted to hold onto her forever. And now he could. Forever. She was his, forever.