the deeper the wound the harder i swoon Who: Roxy and Verina Where: Lenore's Bookstore & Cafe When: Opening time
Verina knew that she could not live inside for the rest of her life. To do so would be against her very Virtue and her nature on top of that. There was nothing wonderful about being indoors and alone. She had spent so much time alone over the past decades thanks to her diminishing belief in humanity and their plain... And they are driving me back to it again. Humanity had not killed Truly or Faith, but they had indirectly, which was something that Verina did believe. The demons had not been able to cast the spell that kept them out, or if they had then it had not been alone. Humans had needed to help. Whoever thought that humans were inherently good could go and look at all of the wars that they engaged in, the people that they killed, then come back and say it again. Verina refused to believe it. This belief was a touch excessive and yet another reason for her nightmares, but Verina was unable to let it go. She had seen too much that made her believe it and now... now... the angel's hands shook as she opened the door leading into the less commercial coffee and book-shop that she had found in this town. Today she had decided was the day that she would go back outside. Staying in her hotel room and mourning her daughter and granddaughter was terrible, it tore at her in too many ways and her Virtue cried out against her continuing to do it. Her punishment was worse nightmares with an additional feeling of just being not well. It made her fuse shorter and just added a footnote to the reasons of why she should not submerge herself back into the sea of humanity that waited outside. Why should she? To see Nathaniel, she would go out there to see Nathaniel and... well she was back now, and there was only one thing left on any of the planes for her to truly care about. Back in Celestia she had been able to hope - just the thought of hoping for anything was enough to cause her to pause as she looked up at the menu, throat working as she tried to remember how to speak instead of letting herself cry again. No, if she cried here in a public setting then she was really stepping over the line she had drawn in the sand for her own limits and she would not do that. She would order her coffee - black with only one cream and one sugar - and somehow her mouth worked to do that, and then a croissant before she picked a seat near the center of the room and let her power go out over the room.
In watching other people, Verina usually managed to find some feeling of peace if she could keep from focusing on the past. If she looked only at the here, the now, then she could let herself go in the task of noting how that person needed to perhaps think twice about that altogether too large drink or that that one, right there, was practically a living embodiment of her virtue. Sometimes she thought she could see little glimmers in people that would redeem them, but they were just glimmers she caught here and there, nothing that shone bright enough for her to believe that they were all capable of it. She had never had the same faith as Truly. Truly... Verina watched her hands shake slightly as she took a small bite from her croissant and instantly regretted it as her stomach protested even that bit of food. Verina tried to fight it, but she ended up needing to rush to the bathroom to empty that small bite back up along with the coffee she had drank. It tasted bitter, but she knew she deserved it as she washed her mouth out at the sink after. When she looked up at her reflection she found herself... I look old. Verina knew that she had not stopped aging young, she had ever looked older than Dagu'sgo and their children had liked to tease her about robbing the cradle even though they knew full well that she had not. But there was a difference between how she thought of herself and how she looked then. The wrinkles in her face seemed more pronounced, the circles under her eyes were baggier and darker, her hair had a touch of a mess about it that could be blamed on what had just happened but still added to the effect and she just... I feel old.Her outfit surely did not help that feeling. What sort of mother outlived every single one of her children? What sort of grandmother outlived all but one of her grandchildren? Why had she not-
Her stomach cramped again as though in warning and Verina hissed quietly, pressing one arm over it to try and quiet the pain as the door swung open to admit a woman that she did not know but recognized. This one had very noticeable hair - far too pink, if you asked her, what was wrong with natural hair shades? - and Verina had also caught sight of her checking her reflection in practically every surface while she drank far, far too much caffeine. Excess may have danced on her should and had a hard time affecting her for the vibes that Verina felt rolling off her. Not quite her favorite sort of person, but the very sort who the quiet voice in her mind told her needed her presence most. Which was why she forced herself to straighten despite the jolt of pain it caused her and gave a small smile. "Hello." Was it acceptable to greet people in the bathroom? "Drink too much too fast?" Because she had seen her come in, looking every bit as exhausted as Verina herself had felt when Modest helped force her out of the hotel. And whoever she was, she really had been drinking too much. It could not be good for her heart to push that much caffeine and sugar through and, for all that she likely would call Excess friend, Verina did not sense anything malicious about her. It would be a shame if she had a heart attack.