Joseph (laughinflames) wrote in light_of_may, @ 2012-06-07 12:15:00 |
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Entry tags: | #flashback, daisy, joseph |
His heart is in Alaska all the time
Who: Daisy and Lucid!Joseph
Where: Hotel near Reno, Nevada
When: Early 2008
Warning: Violence
Everything felt better than it had felt... Joseph did not know how long it had been since he had felt like this. It had to have been months. Since before he had - oh no. There was a buzzing in his head, trying to tell him things he did not want to hear, and he needed to shake it off and gone. Ah, there, that was so much better. Stretching out he wondered briefly about the feel of the sheet he was under. It felt like regular cotton and Alyssa had begged for those satin sheets that were - not white. Joseph frowned as he sat up and realized that even the bed felt a little odd. Pushing back the odd sheets he had another moment to pause because that was a bare leg next to him and it was a little... his eyes traveled up and then they widened because that was not Alyssa. For starters, Alyssa always insisted on sleeping with at least her underwear and for everything else, Joseph knew Alyssa’s body and there were differences here. Bigger differences than the ones that he was already noting about the sheets and the bed and the room - oh my god it’s a hotel room. What was he doing in a hotel room? And why would that infernal buzzing in the back of his head not stop? It was like the voices that he heard every now and again, only worse because it was coming from inside of his own mind instead of outside and he could not make it stop for the life of him.
Joseph was out of the bed not a minute after he made the connections, the sheet tugged up and with him to be wrapped around his waist in a hastily done sort of toga effect. Because goddamn, he did not know this woman! Spread out over so much of the bed that he wondered how he had been able to sleep at all, blonde hair a tousled mess... Joseph’s head tilted just a little as he admitted that it was a very pretty body. Like with the buzzing noise in the back of his head he felt a nagging sense that he was supposed to know this woman. Obviously, we were in the same bed naked! Only it put a disgusting feeling in the pit of his stomach because... Joseph rubbed at his eyes like it would magically transform this blonde into his redheaded wife. Nope, she was staying the exact same and she was even making those quiet noises people made before they woke up. Joseph glanced around for his clothes, demanding an answer inside of his mind for why he had slept with this woman. Because oh yeah, he knew that feeling, he knew what had happened. He just had to have been really, really, really drunk if he was here. He had just spotted what he was pretty sure had to be his boxers when the woman’s eyes fluttered open. Wow I couldn’t have gone more different if I tried. But that is a pretty shade of - STOP THAT. Joseph froze, one hand stretched out towards the floor, then he straightened slowly. Now, Joseph had never operated by the same rules as anyone else and that showed amazingly well when he was actually surprised by something. Like right now. So he could hardly claim to be at all surprised by what came out of his mouth.
“Who the hell are you and why the fuck are you naked in my bed? ...or your bed... oh god, are you a hooker? Did Garrett put all of this together?” Goddamnit, he was going to roast that bastard alive.
Yesterday was still sort of a blur to her. The two of them had gone out fairly early in the evening for a few drinks at a bar nearby. After more than a few on Joseph’s part and a fair share of drinks for herself, the evening had begun to get better, if not a bit hazy. There were a few moments that shone through in her memory very clearly, however. Like the fist-fight that she had gotten into with one of the waitresses whose eyes had lingered a little too long on Joseph for her liking. She had been much too inebriated to take the fight out back. Instead, she waited for her to lean close enough, while delivering their drinks, for Daisy to sock her in the face. But getting thrown out of the bar had not been the end of their evening -- far from it. The next moment she remembered with clarity was the poor guy who had dared to attempt a pass at her. It really wasn’t his fault. Daisy had spotted him outside of a quick mart on their way home. She knew his type, the kind that didn’t care if a girl had someone on her arm; the moment she was alone, he would try to make a move on her. Daisy had begged Joseph to step inside the convenience store for a pack of cigarettes for her, even offered to pay for a pack of his (nevermind the fact that their money came from the same place); it was a coin-toss as to whether or not he would agree to do her the favor, and tonight, she ended up lucky. Like clockwork, the man walked over to her the moment Joseph crossed the threshold of the store. She should have felt sorry for setting him up like she had, but as she watched the man burst into flames before her eyes, only to turn around and see Joseph there behind her, Daisy could have cared less about the pathetic sap. Then it was back to the hotel and there was no amount of alcohol that would cause her not to remember what had happened next. Daisy had fallen asleep curled up in Joseph’s arms, blissfully happy.
She had been vaguely aware that the sheets had moved off of her, but it wasn’t until her bare skin began to cool in the air that she started to wake up the rest of the way. Daisy reached out to feel where Joseph had been laying, finding only the empty space of the bed. Momentary panic flooded through her mind until she heard rustling beside her and she looked over to the sight of Joseph with the bed sheet wrapped around his waist, reaching for his boxers. Pleased to see that he was still willing to stay with her, Daisy rolled over onto her back for a full morning stretch. She only chuckled at Joseph’s words as she moved over to her side, looking over at him she brushed her bedridden hair into something much more manageable. “Very funny, Joey. That’s a new one.” You could have almost believed him with how sincere he sounded. Daisy sat up and scooted herself off the bed. She walked over to Joseph with her arms extended, ready to wrap him up in a hug and pull him back to bed. She really didn’t like it when he got up before she did. “Who’s Garrett anyway?”
Joseph had expected a laugh, so okay, that was fine. Maybe a roll of the eyes and an explanation or even a pissed off woman who would rage about how hey, this was a profession and she did not need to put up with last night’s client swearing at her just because he had been too drunk to remember all that went down. He had not expected to be called ‘Joey’ or have this woman get out of the bed all calm - after an impressive stretch he had tried really hard not to look at - before reaching out for what he assumed was a hug. He stepped back quickly and held one arm up to fend that off. “Oh no, I don’t hug people I don’t know. I don’t care what we did last night, that doesn’t mean we’re hugging. Or that you can call me Joey.” Snatching up his boxers he did his best to get them on without letting the sheet fall down to flash the blonde who... had probably already seen it all. God what did we do? Alyssa, I am so, so sorry. “And Garrett is the guy who paid you because I sure as hell didn’t.” There was that bit of an ache in the back of his head to give away that yep, he had been drinking last night. No surprise there. Joseph sank back against the wall and covered his face with his hands before letting out a long groan. “Alyssa is going to kill me...” Just the idea of the hurt in her eyes was enough to put all the pins and needles back in his stomach. A painful thought that he channeled into a glare directed at this blonde. “Seriously, who the hell are you?”
“That you don’t know? What are you talking about?” Despite having just been stopped from hugging him, Daisy reached out to stroke his face or any part of him that she could make contact with. She was used to him being resistant to her. Getting up early to bail out of town without her, acting flippant towards her sometimes when she was affectionate, but pretending like he didn’t know her was new and Daisy couldn’t say that she was exactly a fan. “Paid me?” She laughed again as she shook her head, but it was not one of amusement, like it had been before. “No one paid me anything.” At the sound of that name Daisy took a step back. Alyssa. How many nights had she been woken up from her sleep at the sound of Joseph muttering her name? Too many for her liking. Daisy hated that name, just as much as she hated the woman attached to it -- a woman whom she had never met. She had asked him after the first night she heard it who it was, but had never received a straight answer. Everything in her mind was certain that this Alyssa was some girl that he was seeing behind her back. Now it was being spoken out loud and to her face. “Who is Alyssa, Joey?” It didn’t matter that he had already told her she wasn’t allowed to call him by the nickname. How many times had he grumbled before about the pet names she had given him? The glare Joseph gave her hit her in the pit of her stomach. It wasn’t that he had never given her her an angry looks before, but this one was so empty of everything that she was used to seeing in Joseph’s eyes. God... does he really not know... “I’m Daisy,” she said, approaching him slowly. Her arms were cautiously coming up again. If she could just reach him, she was sure he would stop all this nonsense. “I’m your girlfriend. Don’t you remember?”
What. The hell. Was going on? Joseph felt like he had gone to bed at home and woken up in the Twilight Zone. Except when he tried to remember going to sleep he was coming up with a whole lot of nothing. It was like his memory had turned into an empty expanse of space that still had all the important parts, but it was missing minor details. Like the day or where exactly he was - other than in a hotel room with a naked chick who was not his wife - or how any of this had happened. Garrett was who he suspected but for the life of him he could not clearly remember the last time they had hung out. In Anchorage? Ah, no, no thinking about that was setting off all the alarms in his head... Joseph rubbed at his temple and his look changed to a disbelieving one when she asked who Alyssa was. Like it mattered? Although... if no one had paid her... Daisy. Now that was ringing other bells, but they were not as unpleasant. Like he was actually supposed to know the woman who was attached to it. And a part of him really felt like it did. Except Joseph could not know her. Not like that! He would never, ever cheat on Alyssa! “Stop trying to touch me,” he said, his words harsher than they needed to be as he shrugged her off and moved away again. What was he going to need to do to get her to stop reaching out; install an electric fence? Light her up, that would do it. For a moment he was tempted. Burn the evidence and there would be no evidence so Alyssa would never need to know... except that part of him that recognized the name and face rebelled against that hard. Like even the idea was sickening. The idea of cheating on Alyssa is what should be sickening! “I don’t have a girlfriend, I have a wife. That’s who Alyssa is, my wife. I don’t know whose putting you up to all of this but it’s just sick and you... you should go.” Dropping the sheet he moved over to open the window, keeping on eye on Daisy in case she tried to throw herself at him again. “Where the hell are we even?” Shut up! Because that buzzing was getting louder, and more clear, and Joseph knew that he did not want to be able to understand what it was. Things about Alyssa, about him, about fire and Joe Jr. and a prison and this Daisy woman who was looking at him with those huge brown eyes... I said shut up!
Daisy instantly drew her hands up and away from him at his command. She felt like they were shaking, but for the life of her, she couldn’t take her eyes off of Joseph. Her feet were taking her back, away from him, to the bed. “...What?” The words came out as barely a whisper. Daisy felt her stomach turn and she worried for a moment that she was going to be sick. Wife? She knew that she knew what the word meant, but it wasn’t currently making any sense in her mind. Why wouldn’t Joseph have told her before that he was married? Why would he wait until now, when he was acting like he didn’t know who she was to tell her? She could handle him being married if he chose to be with her instead, but denying their relationship entirely was what hurt the most. Daisy suddenly felt the overwhelming desire to no longer be naked. Somehow she found her feet and walked over to her drawer of clothes. She pulled on a simple, form-fitting cotton dress, before finally turning to face him again. “I’m not leaving. This is our room. Where we live.” Her words were still soft as she said them, as though at any moment he would come to his senses. He knew that she was not going to leave him, like it was nothing. “We’re in Reno, Nevada. Remember? I wanted to go to a casino, but you wanted to stay away from a big city.” Daisy walked over to the where he had dropped the sheet. She picked it up and bundled it up against her chest. This wasn’t fun, not at all; more than anything she wanted to go back to last night, when everything had been so perfect. She inched closer to him. “You won a couple hundred dollars a few days ago, remember?” A little bit closer still. “You said you were going to take me out to buy something pretty.” Daisy moved again. She hadn’t gotten this far with Joseph without showing a lot of persistence. “You’re the one who let me stay with you, Joey? Please tell me you remember.” Maybe it was because she had caught him off-guard, but Daisy managed to reach out and stroke the side of his head. He couldn’t keep telling her that she was lying.
So whoever Daisy was - ignoring the prickles that told him he was supposed to know her - she had not known about Alyssa and who she was. He felt a sort of vindictive delight in putting that look on her face. That was what happened when you went to bed with someone who was drunk off their ass and expected them to any sort of remember it the next morning. Least she was putting some clothes on instead of standing there naked. Another minute of that and Joseph was going to have to deliberately face the wall. ‘Our room. Where we live.’ They lived in some hotel room? Really? Joseph’s expression showed how unlikely he found that to be. Except... this was not Alaksa. Nevada was practically the opposite of Alaska. A nice hot place. Somewhere he would have loved being because of the weather; also the complete opposite of Alaksa.Oh, Joseph had gone there for Alyssa there was no doubt of that, but why would he leave? Not just Alaska, but her? I didn’t leave Alyssa. This woman was clearly insane. He had seen those movies where a one-night stand got insanely attached and needed to be appeased... but they were not usually the ones using soothing tones. “Why would I live here with you when I have a house back in Alaska with Alyssa?” Joseph’s voice was quiet too, his forehead resting against the pane of glass that would have been freezing cold at home. Here it was pleasantly warm, something he normally would have appreciated, but it was doing nothing to help the loud buzzing in his head. The one that was telling him of course he was not back in Alaksa with Alyssa, something had happened and he could never ever go back there. Because Alyssa was - “I told you not to touch me!” He snapped, eyes blazing as he whirled. For whatever reason his hand had rose, like he was going to hit her, but he curled it into a fist and lowered it. He would never strike a woman even if she was being... whatever this Daisy was being. Only he felt like he could remember things she was saying. Like he was looking through a window covered in condensation and he could only just make out all the things on the other side. Winning at a casino, drinking, laughing with this woman, bringing her back to... But Alyssa... “I don’t... my head hurts.” He moved without looking, his feet remembering the layout of the room even though he did not think he knew it, and sank onto the bed, face in his hands. “I don’t understand why I’d ever do this to Alyssa.” Because yes, it was all coming back to her right then, she was who mattered here. Not any of the rest of this. “What you’re trying to tell me is that I didn’t meet you last night. Garrett didn’t pay you to do this because we’re not even in Alaska and whoever the hell you are - because you’re not my girlfriend, I made a vow to Alyssa and I wouldn’t break that so don’t call yourself that - we’re living here. Together.” And sleeping naked.
For just a moment, when he snapped at her, his eyes on fire, she thought that he was back to his regular self. It wouldn’t be the first time he had hit her, and she had already braced herself for the blow -- but then he lowered his hand. In the time that she had known him, Daisy had never seen Joseph drawback for a hit and not take it. Other women would have have considered it a blessing; it only made her angry. She didn’t know what was going on, but she was certain that she wanted it to stop. If he wasn’t going to allow her to touch him, then she was going to have to think of another way to get him to remember who he was, because this, this man was not her Joseph. “That’s exactly what I’m trying to tell you.” There was a touch more bite to Daisy’s words when she spoke again. He could really stop talking about Alyssa anytime now. She had half a mind to hop in the car and drive to Alaska just to find her and make sure that he had no reason to keep thinking that she was coming between them. “I don’t know about your vows, but I am your girlfriend.” Daisy plopped down on the bed hard enough to shake him. “I’ve been with you everyday for a year and this is the first time I’ve heard anything about any vows you’ve taken.” That last bit had venom in it. The more that he kept talking about his marriage to this other woman, the more Daisy realized how much it actually bothered her. She scooted closer to him. “I found you a year ago outside of the diner that I worked at. You were hurt very badly, so I took you back to my house and helped you to get better.” Her words were more pleading this time. The story had to jog his memory. It meant everything to her, so it only made sense that it meant the same to him. She reached out a hand to touch him again, but drew it back almost the same moment she had extended it. “Joey, please stop talking about Alaska and Alyssa and just go back to normal.” Were there tears in her voice? Very likely. She wasn’t sure what would happen next if he told her that he didn’t remember the most important moment in their relationship.
God, she really needed to stop calling herself that. It was making some of the noises worse and Joseph just wanted them all to stop. He wanted to pinch himself and wake up back in his bed with the cream-colored satin cheeks and Alyssa smiling at him while telling him about what Joe Jr. had gotten up to that morning. Only thinking about what he wanted made his head hurt worse. Little voices, that were not actually all that little, were whispering at him that he did not have these things because he had ruined them. How? How could he ruin the life he had loved so much? Right, you loved the whole thing. It sounded like his voice, only more snide, and Joseph had to look around just to make sure that the only other person in the room was Daisy. Daisy who needed to stop looking at him and moving closer and being all... something. Pathetic? Something told her that he could just shatter her with a few well placed words. Every day for a year... girlfriend... hurt... Joseph pressed his face harder into his hands. The condensation on the glass was clearing and he could see... himself screaming with fire surrounding him, sitting in a cold cell with his arms bound by one of those jackets the crazy people wore, escaping somehow - escaping from where? - and this woman. This woman helping him. Joseph shook his head and stood up, refusing to look at Daisy or let her be close to him right then. “Why?” he asked as he turned. “Alyssa and Alaska are what matter to me. You? I can’t...” No, he could remember. Bits and pieces. The feel of her skin when he struck it or kissed it, the way that she laughed and cried so easily, but it was mixing in with all his memories of Alyssa and he did not... it needed to stop doing that. His mind needed to stop twirling him around like he was on a merry-go-round of nightmares. With all of the memories from times that he had pushed himself back into a corner, surrounded by a wall because he refused to accept what it was that he had done and what he was doing. What I do. Joseph leaned back against the wall and groaned as he sank down to the floor. He peeked at Daisy through the cracks in his fingers. “I remember you. Bits and pieces of you.” Now whether or not Joseph liked just what he was remembering... was another story entirely. Something told him Daisy would not like that answer.
She should have been crying, considering the words that were coming out of his mouth. The words stung worse than any other wound that Joseph had given her before. No. She wouldn’t accept it. He didn’t have to say the words, but Daisy knew that she mattered to him. There was no way that anyone, even Joseph, could convince her otherwise. She had been with other men before, men who hadn’t cared one bit about her. They had stole from her, lied to her, and abandoned her. Sure, Joseph had done all those things to her before, but the two of them had a connection that she hadn’t had with the others. Daisy had known that beyond any shadow of doubt the first night that she had brought him back to her house. She watched the man that wasn’t Joseph through narrowed eyes as he walked over to the wall and sank to the ground. Her Jospeh would not be so willing to remove himself from being close to her; if there was anyone who was expected to move away, it was Daisy. Her Joseph would not show so much weakness. “See, I wasn’t lying.” He was remembering. That was good right? From the way he was acting, something told her that they were far from good. So Joseph was obviously not going to remain anywhere near her, and truth be told, if he was going to keep behaving that way, she didn’t want to be anymore. He wasn’t the only one whose emotions could change on a seconds notice! Daisy stood and began to straighten up as best she could. She picked up their discarded clothing from the night before, shoving it into a bag that she would take to the laundromat later. All while she moved around the room, her eyes darted over to look at Joseph, hoping for some sign of change. She walked over to the bed, where she had left the balled up bed sheet. Winding it around her hands again, Daisy finally broke. “What exactly do you remember?”
It would have been better if she was lying and Joseph could just sit in that chair over there and pretend that this was all some sick and really twisted joke being played on him by Garrett. Alyssa would never have to know what had happened here. If she never knew then it would not matter. Except that was not going to happen because it was not true and Joseph was bit by bit coming to terms with that. Or not ‘coming to terms’ so much as ‘being beat over the head by waves of memories he did not want’. Fires and words and hateful things... changes... him being a person that gave no damn’s about anyone else in the world because the people that he cared about were dead by his own hands. Just dead, gone - forever. He knew that Alyssa was dead and he knew that it was his fault she was that way. He knew why he had not remembered it before. He did not want to. Everything that had happened in the past few years was clouded and hidden behind a glass covered with mist because he did not want to know about any of it. That Joseph who went through all of that was not... that was not him. That was some other man. An awful being who did what he wanted and did not care about what had happened before jail. He did not think about Alyssa or Joe Jr. or Alaska. All he thought about was what he wanted, how to get it and who needed to be disposed of so he could have it. Daisy? He used her in all the worst ways and the worst part of it was that she thought he cared. That much was obvious in her face; she thought that he really cared about or loved her. Please, that Joseph was not capable of love. That Joseph was not capable of anything. Joseph pulled his hands down and fixed an empty stare on Daisy. “I remember enough.” Alyssa... He pushed himself up off the floor. “And I was closer to the mark when I called you a hooker than when you said you’re my girlfriend because seriously? That guy? He doesn’t love anything, not even himself.” He leaned forward. “Only person Joseph Zimmerman ever loved was Alyssa Bennett-Zimmerman.”
Having a temper had never been an issue for Daisy before. Things would make her mad, just like anyone else, but she had always managed to stuff down the anger. Coming from the trailer park she had grown up in, that made her unusual. She had watched her mother, for example, smash a beer bottle over a man’s head just because he insulted her cooking. Other girls she knew would get into a fight at the snap of your fingers over something the other had misheard. That was the kind of fire that Daisy had laying dormant in her blood, and she had had plenty opportunity, more than any girl should have in her short lifetime, to get angry and really show it, but it wasn’t until Joseph came along that it ever actually ignited. The funny thing was that no matter what Joseph said or did to her, he had never been the direct recipient of her rage. It had always been the innocent bystander, caught between them and whatever game they were playing. But in that moment, when Joseph got up and moved toward her, saying those horrible things, Daisy felt angry at him and no one else. Without thinking, she drew back when he leaned in and threw a punch as hard as she could toward his face. “I am not a hooker. Don’t call me that again.” Daisy’s voice always held an upbeat lilt to it, but that sound was completely gone when she spoke now. “You’re just confused and upset that this is... it isn’t...” Wasn’t what? She was still not even entirely sure what was going on herself. Then her mind picked up on something that it hadn’t when he had first said it. “Loved? As in the past? You’re not still married to her?” Daisy chose to focus on that small ray of hope and not on the other obvious lies that were spilling from his mouth.
Joseph... had not seen that coming. Had he given what he knew about Daisy and this other Joseph who seemed to be walking around with his body, his voice, his everything while he was curled up behind a wall where everything was safe and nothing bad had happened. Easier to be there. He wanted to be out here about as much as Daisy seemed to want him. Judging by the hit that had just left his mouth full of blood from a cut his own teeth opened inside his cheek that was not much at all. The back of his hand came up and wiped away a trickle of blood before he spat the rest out on the floor, sucking on the wound to keep it from flooding his mouth again. “Lot closer to what you are than a girlfriend,” he shot back. No, Joseph would not hit a woman, but this one had just socked him and he did not have to be nice to her. Maybe if he was bad enough then she would come to her senses and get out of here before... before what? Before I go back where it’s safe and the other Joseph comes out to play. Because that was going to happen. Joseph knew it sure as he knew that that was not Alaska outside the window. “Is ‘will always love’ easier for you to understand?” Yeah, his voice had gained a touch of bitterness but how was that anything but expected? Here he was in a hotel in Reno instead of home in Alaska with his wife because he had lit that home on fire and she had been inside. He deserved to be a little bit bitter. Hell, this was better than when he had tried to burn down the world. Nothing was even on fire yet. “But it’s hard to be married to a corpse; she’s dead.” His head tilted to the side and he grinned, though that hurt thanks to that punch. “Prettier than you. She had hair like fire and yours is... blonde. Why would I go for a blonde?”
Even though she was sure that this man wasn’t her Joseph, her body was trying to cope with the fact that she had just hit him. Her hand was still balled into a shaking fist, but she had to fight the urge to rush forward to take care of him when she saw the blood. That was what she did -- she took care of him. There was a war going on inside of her as her heart and her head tried to tell her what she should do next. Was that relief that Daisy felt at hearing that Alyssa was dead? Yes. It was practically joy. Still he was saying things that she didn’t like, that didn’t make sense. Her hands went up to her ears, like a child that was trying to block out something they didn’t want to hear. “No, no, no! Joey loves me. He does!” Her hands flew out to push Joseph away from her. For added measure, she turned away, unable to look at the man she loved while he said the most terrible things she had ever heard. Daisy swallowed hard as her hand came up to brush through her hair. Joseph had never said anything about not liking it before, but then again, he had also neglected to tell her that he was -- had been -- married. Daisy’s hand had slipped away from her to grab the nearest thing it could; it really had no preference. “No...” The word was whispered and, before she had finished speaking it, she turned again and hurled the lamp in her hand at Joseph’s head. It narrowly missed him and smashed against the wall to the left of his head. Daisy had never been one for aim. When the hefty object had failed its purpose, she lunged at him, prepared to tackle him to the ground. “Why are you lying to me?” She screamed at the top of her lungs. Daisy felt like her insides were tearing themselves apart and the only thing that could make things right again was for Joseph to be himself.
Now that right there was the most childish reaction that Joseph had ever seen someone who was shaped like a grown woman have. Was she really covering her ears like that was going to make what he said go away? Better than nothing, but the best way to make it stop would have been if she just took off. Went somewhere he could not say anything. Somewhere that he could never see or hurt her again, because that was what was going to happen if she stayed. Like this, Joseph would never hurt a hair on her hair. Physically. But that other Joseph that he was most of the time now, that man... there were flashes of memories that told him that one got a sick, twisted, perverse sort of joy out of hurting Daisy. I never once hurt Alyssa and if I did? It wouldn’t have made me happy. How the hell could this be a relationship? “Joey-” There, he would call this other version of himself ‘Joey’ to go along with her. “-doesn’t love anything. Has he ever said that he loves you? C’mon, has he?” Not ‘have I’ because they were two completely different people. He did jump, cursing out loud when the lamp shattered next to his head. “Jesus christ woman!” Violent much? He was about to ask just what the hell was wrong with her when she lunged for him. Joseph hardly had time to get his hands up to catch her by the shoulders and hold her out at arms length. No, he was no mass of masculine muslces, but he had some strength there. “I’m not the one lying to you, that’s your precious Joey feeding you those lines you love so much. Not that he even says what you want.” Holding her away was a little harder than he had thought it would be, he was actually having to try. “Alyssa was a redhead; bright and vibrant and in the sun it looked like someone had lit her head on fire.” He snorted and pressed harder with one hand so the other could come up to flick at a piece of Daisy’s. “What’s this look like in the sun? Pieces of straw? Pathethic shadow because he’ll never find another Alyssa.”
No one could ever accuse Daisy of having good taste when it came to men. She always chose the worst ones, and what made it worse was that a part of her knew what she was doing. Tucked away, deep in the parts of her mind that she dared not go, was the knowledge that her relationship with Joseph wasn’t exactly right. She got as much joy out of the attention he gave her when he was kind as she did when he was being cruel. Truth be told, she had gotten addicted to the thrill of living a life with someone so destructive. Without Joseph, Daisy would go back to the same boring girl she had been, wasting away at another no name diner for the rest of her days. She didn’t want that. So, she took the bad with the good, wasn’t that what other couples did? Did it matter that the bad exponentially outweighed the good? Not to Daisy, it didn’t. These things that Joseph was saying were forcing her mind to go to those places she had carefully guarded off. She could only fight the words with denial for so long before other measures needed to be taken. It was difficult to reach him with his his hands keeping her at arms length, but that didn’t mean she stopped trying for a second. Daisy didn’t even care that he extended an unwanted hand to touch her hair; it had given her the opening she needed. “That’s because she was stupid enough to get herself killed.” She leaned toward the side where Joseph’s hand was no longer stopping her, grabbing his waist as she tackled him to the ground. What Daisy lacked in strength, she more than made up for with the element of surprise; it was the best and only way that she managed to get the jump on others. Once the pair hit the floor, she scrambled to straddle his chest. She drew back her fist and punched him again with everything she had. The only thing going through her mind was that if he were no longer conscious, he would no longer be able to lie to her. Daisy grabbed his face, squeezing his cheeks tight as she forced him to look at her. “He doesn’t have to say that he loves me for me to know it’s true.” She added another punch to punctuate her words.
Stupid enough to - oh, oh Daisy was so lucky that this Joseph did not hurt women or else he would have turned her into a flaming, screaming pillar at that very moment. She would have turned into nothing more than ashes and a memory that would no doubt be swept under the rug and left in a corner to collect dust. Her precious Joey would hardly care if he came back to himself and found his companion missing. No doubt he could go and find another dumb bimbo who would wear make-up to cover the bruises and tell herself that she really loved him or he would never hurt her like that. Except that Joey could never love anyone. He was a disgusting piece of work who cared about no one but himself. Not her. Joseph refused to believe that he cared about - “hey!” Joseph managed to get it out before he hit the ground, air whooshing out of his lungs and leaving him stunned and then shocked when he felt the fist connect with his face. Like that was not bad enough on top of being straddled by this possibly insane woman, now she was forcing him to look at her. He snorted a laugh before the next hit came. Except he was tired of being punched. “Know who killed Alyssa? Me. I was married to and loved her and I still killed her.” Accidentally, but who said he had to share that part with her? “What makes you think I won’t turn you into ashes next time you piss me off? Which you’re good at. Wearing those tight skirts and flashing yourself at every man who walks by. Who the hell would love you?” Daisy needed to get the hell out of Joey’s life. She made him some insane version of happy and he did not, under any circumstances, deserve to be happy. Nor did she deserve to be beaten.
Her hand stung and if she could have been bothered to take the time to look down at it, she would have noticed that her knuckle had split open from that last punch. Instead, all she could do was glare at Joseph. Tears started burning the back of her eyes. Daisy didn’t want to cry -- not in front of him -- but his last question struck too close to home. It was the secret question the dark voices in her head asked her every time one of her previous boyfriends would leave her; it was a question that she had learned to drown out with the repeated mantra that Joseph wouldn’t get so angry with her if he didn’t love her. To hear it given voice, Joseph’s voice, made something snap in Daisy. Her hands reached for his throat. She gave it a firm squeeze before leaning forward and putting all of her weight and effort into strangling him. The words. They have to stop. The thought went on repeat in her mind as she looked him dead in the eyes, refusing to let go. Daisy shifted on his chest, pinning his arms underneath her legs so that he couldn’t fight back or pry her off. Her breathing became frantic as she watched his eyes go unfocused and he finally blacked out. She didn’t move, not at first, until she was sure that he was unconscious. Daisy managed to keep herself composed as she rose to her feet and walked back over to the bed. She grabbed the bed sheet for the third time, cradling it to her chest as she curled up on the mattress. Unmoving, she layed there and silently sobbed, both wishing for and dreading Joseph to wake up.
Joseph could have fought harder against Daisy when she shifted her position, fingers closing around his neck, but he did not. Oh he struggled! But not as much as he could have and it was with a sense of relief mingled with the natural panic that came with being strangled that he slipped back into the blackness that was far, far more welcome than this world.
After the night that he had had, the last thing that Joseph expected was to wake up slowly with the taste of blood filling his mouth, a soreness to his throat that felt like someone had tried to murder him and a face that just ached. The hell... Groaning he sat up, clutching his head as the room tried its best to spin around him. And clutching his head was a terrible idea because his face hurt. “What...” Somehow he got to his feet and, using the wall, made his way to the mirror. Looked like he had gotten himself on the wrong end of someone with a grudge. And was that...? Yes, reflected in the mirror he was seeing Daisy curled up on the bed with her shoulders shaking in the telltale way that gave away her tears. Man I got myself beat bad and she’s still crying over it. Now if only he could remember who had given him the beating and if he had roasted them on the spot or made them suffer just a little bit longer like they undoubtedly deserved. Stumbling, because he was still a little light-headed for some reason and it was hard to walk in a straight line when one of your eyes was trying to swell shut, Joseph made it to the bed and poked at Daisy. “The hell happened to my face and did I burn whatever did it?” He needed to start keeping better track of what he drank.
There was nothing but the sound of silence to comfort her for several moments. The closer she clutched the ball of fabric to her chest, the harder her tears would fall. Her thoughts were going everywhere, focusing on all the horrible things that she didn’t want them to. At the sound of Joseph waking, Daisy stiffened, but still she did not move from where she had curled up on the bed. Her mind was reeling, trying to process what had just happened and coming up short. With no explanation for what had made Joseph seem like an entirely different person, she was terrified that nothing had changed and it would still be the otherJoseph moving over toward her. And if it was her boyfriend returned to her, he was going to be furious with her for the beating she had given him. Her body had prepared itself for something much more violent when he finally made contact, but the simple poke made her body jump suddenly. Slowly, she turned over to look at him through blurry, tear-filled eyes. “Y-you don’t remember?” Her brow furrowed as she pushed herself up into a seated position. She studied him hard, looking for any sign or clue that it was her Joseph she was speaking to. “....Joey?” The question came out as a meek whisper, as though she were afraid that the very name would trigger him into another episode of spouting hurtful things. Daisy couldn’t deal with that again, not so soon.
Joseph sighed and rolled her eyes, amazed yet again at just how slow Daisy could be sometimes. Like right now. Had he stuttered when he spoke? No, he was pretty sure that despite the injuries to his face he had managed to get out the question right. And in English. “Obviously or I wouldn’t be asking what happened.” If there was a tone of disbelief, or even annoyance, to his voice then it was because he was a mix of both. Though Daisy’s tears could explain some things. If he had been beaten unconscious then she would probably be all sorts upset about it. He was going to have to congratulate her for not taking him to the hospital. For once she had actually thought things through and she deserved to be acknowledged for it. Well, she did if she managed to stop crying and acting weird even for her. “Last time I checked, yeah that’s me.” Joseph may not have been the biggest fan of that nickname, but he accepted it most of the time and when Daisy used it he responded. Usually. Since she seemed to be upset he decided to give her just a little bit of leniency. Unless she kept acting like an idiot. “Me Joey, you Daisy. You tell me what happened or I get mad.” Dropping the mocking caveman tone, Joseph rubbed at the back of his neck. “God I hurt, do we have any aspirin?” Should the answer be ‘no’ then it would turn into a magical ‘yes’ when he sent Daisy down to the store to get him some.
She sat frozen, staring, completely dumbfounded. How was it possible that he couldn’t remember what had happened not even ten minutes ago? The other Joseph had been able to remember things, or at least he said he did. Daisy didn’t move again until he responded to his nickname. She laughed out loud, suddenly deliriously happy that it was him, beyond any shadow of doubt. Throwing her arms out, she hugged him as tightly as she possibly could. She pecked a flurry of kisses on his cheek before stopping herself, realizing too late that that probably wasn’t the best thing to do after his face had received not one but two blows. “I’ll get you something.” Daisy stood and lept from the bed in the direction of their suitcases. She threw every piece of clothing in her way out of the luggage until she reached her bag of toiletries, which contained a bottle of aspirin. In a flash she was in the bathroom getting a cup of water and then back over to Joseph, handing him both. “Well...” Daisy bit her lip as she tried to decide what exactly she should tell him. Her first instinct was to lie. She couldn’t possibly imagine a scenario in which he would be happy with what she had done. But what if he suddenly remembered everything? It was just a risk that she was going to have to take. “Remember that guy you lit up last night? His friend came by.” She watched him carefully, looking for any sort of sign that he knew she was winging everything as she went along. “He pulled you out into the parking lot and attacked you. He hit you so hard, Joey! But before you went out, you managed to catch fire to him. He lit up like a Christmas tree!” Daisy was throwing everything into the story, even dramatic gestures to help demonstrate. “I pulled you back into the room and waited for you to wake up.” She was holding her hands behind her back, looking remarkably like a little girl, waiting for his reaction. God, she hoped he believed her.
Joseph was waiting for an answer. There he was, his face mostly a mess and he had no idea why, while Daisy just... stared at him. Was she waiting for him to do some sort of a trick? He was just about to tell her to cut that out when suddenly she was laughing and hugged him so tight it nearly hurt, kissing his cheek like she had missed him. He winced away from the kisses that touched on the bruises on his face and gave her a glare when she jumped up to retrieve whatever she thought would help. “Thanks for making that hurt worse,” he tossed out, relaxing back on the bed while he continued to wait for the truth of what had happened to him. “Yeah, I remember him.” He had been flirting with Daisy. Sometimes Joseph would let that pass, depending on his mood, but he had been in a very specific sort of mood the night before and there was no way in hell that anyone was going to be eyeing up his girlfriend with him right there. And, for his part, Joseph was fine with believing the story that Daisy spun out for him. Maybe his brain was a little out of it or maybe part of his ‘lucid’ self was still clinging there and urging him to believe because he did not want to think about the rest... for whatever reason, he was going to call it truth and he just grinned, ignoring the way it pulled at his new bruises. Joseph let out a loud laugh as he tossed a few aspirin in his mouth, chewing before washing them down with a gulp of water. “Sounds about right.” And, the bruises aside, he still felt pretty damn amazing. Which was why he reached out with one arm to grasp Daisy around her waist, tugging her into his lap. No reason to let a good high go to waste. “Did he scream?”
She must have been holding her breath without realizing, because when Joseph started to grin, she slowly began to breathe easy again. A smile replaced the look of uncertainty that she had had previously and a giggle erupted from her when he pulled her to him. This was the real Joseph, the one that she loved and the one that loved her in return. She would forget about everything that had been said before; right now was all she needed to prove that she mattered to him. Daisy leaned her head back to rest it on his shoulder. She turned her head to the side, pressing a single, gentle kiss to his jaw. With a smile on her face, she nuzzled her head into his chest. “Oh yeah, pumpkin. He screamed.”