Lux felt awful and like a manipulative bitch when she noticed Troy losing his resolve at her touch, but it needed to be done. She wasn't anywhere near ready to let him know her awful secret, not when it could drive him away from her and Lux didn't want that at all. "It is nothing." She insisted, kissing him back with as much gusto as she could muster. Lux smiled into the kiss when she felt him move, thinking she had gotten him where she wanted him. "I know." Lux closed her eyes as he nuzzled her. He did care, and that was going to be his undoing as far as she was concerned, but Lux knew she wasn't exactly helping and there was no point in being a hypocrite at this point. She dragged her nails back up over his back, breaking their kiss to plant soft little kisses along his jaw. "Shhh don't worry about it." She pleaded. "I'm better than fine."
The problem with it all was that Lux was enjoying this too much, and not just at a physical level. Right now she felt like she would stay right there, her body close to his, for all time if she could. She had rationalized that if she managed to keep this purely physical Troy would eventually get tired - or slightly hurt - and stop it. But if Lux gave flight to the rest of it, they would just become entangled in each other and this would never stop, and then she really could hurt him with what she was, all the self-hatred and the trauma. She wanted none of that to harm anybody but herself, least of all someone who was actually a good guy.