Bea Stanford (aqua_abscido) wrote in light_of_may, @ 2012-01-26 23:54:00 |
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Entry tags: | 2009-08-30, bea, jaladhi |
I'm in the middle of nothing and it's where I want to be
Who: Jaladhi and Bea
Where: Bea's room at the Budget Lodge
When: after sunset
How in the world Bea had made it through the prior day alive, even she had not known. After the men had come to help her post-march-explosion, Bea had been a mess. She even thought she'd tried to bite one of the men, or both, at some point. She was hungry, so hungry, but their blood wouldn't have helped her anyway. She needed water elemental blood, and that little mouthful had not been enough. It was really too bad that that man had died so quickly. The thought that her biting him would have ended his life even if he hadn't been dying was a thought that still felt too predatory, too wrong to fit in her head. Which, now that Bea brought her attention to it, was one massive throbbing pain. The fledgling vampire had half-crawled, half-stumbled back to the only shelter she knew of. Hungry, bedraggled, broken, the flesh of her arms still completely gone, exposing the muscle and bone in places. It didn't bleed though, the flesh was still quite charred. The haze through which Bea saw her little room was heavy; her movements leaden. How had she managed to get here at all? She didn't quite remember it all clearly, and the flashes that came didn't quite help either. The voices swirling around in her head were loud, so loud for some ungodly reason, causing Bea's thoughts to run off the moment she had them. She needed blood, she needed to feed or she knew that she wouldn't be able to get up. Could she even get up right now? A feeble attempt had her barely shifting the piles of blankets she had pooled over her in the far corner of the room, as far away from the water in her bathroom as possible. She was not going to last much longer without blood, and the weak feeling in her limbs was not something she was familiar with, now that she knew she was so much stronger.
It was troublesome, truly. Bea had escaped from her sire in order to...to do what? Not this, that was for sure. She hadn't meant to get herself into trouble, to put herself at risk. She'd been curious about the large group of people and now she was sure she finally understood that saying about curiosity and cats. How long would it take for her to die, now that she had already died once? Would it hurt? A whimper slipped past her lips at the thought. As fucked up as her new life was, she didn't want to die, to cease to exist. But there didn't seem to be a way to get the thing that she needed in her current state. No, she needed help. No, don't think that name, don't do it, don't! She needed Jaladhi. The voices crowded in and Bea trembled, curling herself into a tighter ball. She couldn't even cry--there wasn't any extra blood in her system enough to do even that. "Ja.." Her lips were cracked, the name barely audible. "Jaladhi..." She struggled to get up, fighting the instinct in her to curl into a tighter ball, to go to sleep and never wake up rather than face her. How could she reach her? She didn't know where her sire was, and even if she did, how could she make it there? "Don't wanna die." Why she'd dragged herself all this way only to realize that her room here was not what she had needed, at all. "Light's going out." Nothing had changed about the light in the room, but it felt as if her thoughts were stilling, the ever present voices going quiet, silent. As destructive as the voices could be, they were a part of her life now, and their silence was deafening to Bea. "Oh, no. Can't go, can't leave." She was in a tangled heap of blankets, her body twisted up and twitching slightly. "Leaving..." Reaching up to her head, Bea smacked the flesh, trying to stir up any sort of voice. "JALADHI! THE VOICES ARE GONE!" The panic in her voice was absolute. Her sire wasn't here, wouldn't come in time. Bea didn't want to die again, even if living meant being with Jaladhi. Dying the first time had been so terrifying that it was all Bea could do to keep calm.
The scream building in her chest finally released and it grew in volume until it felt like it was the only sound Bea had ever known.