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Tweak says, "Gnusto Cleesh"

Barnabas Jones-Elias (findthethoughts) wrote in light_of_may,
@ 2012-01-25 22:20:00

Entry tags:

2009-08-30, barnabas, cheila

Early morning conversings
Who: Barnabas and Cheila
Where: Elias home
When: Morning

Barnabas didn't know what was wrong with the world anymore. But it was something. It'd gone from a place where he could relax to this world where he was half-afraid to step outside for fear of coming across another demon. That was two that he had now. And all he could do was be grateful that it had been him instead of any other member of his family. They were all angelic and it couldn't have gone as well for them. It didn't go well for me. Barnabas rubbed at the side of his head before swinging his feet over the bed and getting out. His robe was resting on the back of the chair where Diana'd draped it the night before. She was still asleep on the bed and likely would remain that way for awhile. The previous day had been more draining than it had any right to be. A peaceful march, explosions, Caelia coming home for a little bit... if Barnabas didn't miss his guess then she was still actually there. It was nice to have the whole family together for awhile. It likely wouldn't stay that way, but it was nice. He'd even tried to join in conversations and had managed to keep up somewhat decently.

He still wasn't good enough though. Barnabas knew that he wasn't himself again yet and it bothered him even though he knew he wasn't really able to do anything about it. He was trying but his thoughts were like little birds that slipped right through his fingers no matter how hard he tried to grasp. Almost like they didn't belong to him at all.

Sighing, he tied the sash of his robe and made his way quietly out of the bedroom and down the hall. Most everyone else seemed to be asleep and the only thoughts that he had to contend with were his -- oh. It seemed that he wasn't the only one awake after all. It was harder to ignore the thoughts of someone else when he was trying so hard just to keep hold of his own. "Good morning, Cheila." At least he had waited until he had visually confirmed which of the children it was to use their name. They'd grown up with his telepathy but that didn't mean they were always used to it. Glancing at the clock he blinked before moving to put the kettle on. "Couldn't you sleep well?"

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importedair
2012-01-26 06:19 am UTC (link)

Cheila’s day was going all wrong today. It wasn’t that she had gotten out of the wrong side of the bed. There was no such thing, despite how many times Lala had tried to explain to her that it really was just a figure of speech. Figures of speech in English confused her. She didn’t like them – but then that might just have been because she had truly had no sleep rather than her usual little-sleep and bad-dreams. She was very tired. So much so that she had just put on the dress that she had worn the day before; the one long enough to hide her feet so no one could tell if she was wearing shoes or not. She was, though. Lala had reminded her before they left her room. Which it had taken her a while to do when compared with how long she had been awake and how long she had been ready to start her day. That wasn’t right and she knew it. Cheila had responsibilities.

So she had quietly slipped out of the room so as not to wake Dashiell and stood in the hallway for what felt like the longest time.

It wasn’t until she couldn’t stand the guilt plucking away at her insides any more that she had run to the family altar on tip-toes to pray like she should have done when she had first risen. ‘Sometimes I think your gods would understand if you were a little late with your prayers,’ Lala commented as Cheila emerged, biting the end of her index finger. Yes. Yes, they would. Or they would not have understood for so long when she and her siblings had been taken. What they might not understand, she thought, was the tardiness in her usual routine being there because she was avoiding Caelia. ‘Oh.’ Cheila’s shoulders slumped a little upon hearing that reaction. When even her familiar was surprised how could she expect the gods to take it well? Truly. ‘You are remarkably good at keeping details from me,’ the little bird defended. That really wasn’t the point, though, was it? On top of what Cheila was viewing as a massive disrespect to the gods, she should not be avoiding her sister. Her older sister, the respected sister, next in line as high priestess. Avoidance was just rude, anyway, and she did not wish to be rude to her sister. But nor did she wish to possibly upset anyone and if she tried to stayed around Caelia, then—

“Good morning, father.” Smiling a welcome, Cheila pulled her eyes up from the – the counter. She wasn’t sure why she was looking at the counter. Perhaps she had meant to get something? ‘You were just wandering, daydreamer.’ Oh. But it was morning, therefore breakfast time, so did it not make sense to be there? Thinking over Barnabas’ question, she fidgeted with the edge of the counter before eventually shaking her head, eyes angled at the ceiling. “No. Not at all. I kept tossing and turning and – and then I think either Dashiell fell asleep on my feet or they got tangled in the sheets. I couldn’t get comfortable, and then it was morning so there wasn’t any point. Only now I’m tired.” It wasn’t often she admitted to things like that because she didn’t want to give them reason to not let her do things. Like help.

‘You need to eat something.’

The tired brightness was tugged back onto her face while she half-ignored her familiar. “Did you sleep well?” She hoped he had. Both her father and mother. Maybe they had slept very, very well – then she really wouldn’t mind not sleeping at all.

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findthethoughts
2012-01-26 07:06 pm UTC (link)

Barnabas hadn't noticed anything odd in Cheila staring at the counter. He'd been around air elementals, mainly them, for so long that a lot of things didn't strike him as odd. Once they would've. "I'm sorry to hear that you slept poorly." If she had slept at all. Things like this worried Barnabas. He knew that his children seemed to have trouble with the night and those glimpses that he got from their minds made him understand why. Except the twins seemed to rest just fine unless they had a nightmare and Aurora hadn't ever been afraid of the night. That also made sense in a way that shouldn't bother anyone to understand; the blind saw no different between the dark and the light. He'd always wondered how that had happened, the blindness. "I did sleep well, and so did your mother. Once she got there. It took her awhile, she had things that she needed to get off of her mind." Barnabas had never objected to being Diana's sounding board unless her temper got up and then he usually wanted to turn and run the other way.

The kettle started to whistle and Barnabas pulled it off, taking a moment to get a cup. "Would you like some, Cheila? It's the lemon-citrus that your mother is so fond of." He liked it as well, but his favorite was English breakfast and Diana absolutely detested it so he didn't have it often. She'd said once it made kissing him more unpleasant than the time he'd grown a beard. These here were memories, true, but they were clearer than a lot of thoughts he'd had in the past month and Barnabas would take them gladly. Along with the odds and ends he was getting from Cheila, though one made him frown a little. Something told him that Cheila wasn't exactly pleased to have Caelia in the house. Setting his mug down so the tea could steep he looked in the cupboards for the sugar. "Your mother was very pleased to have Caelia in the house... the twins and Dashiell seemed besides themselves with joy." What he didn't say was that Cheila... hadn't.

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importedair
2012-01-26 10:28 pm UTC (link)

“Oh,” Cheila shook her head rather more vehemently and rubbed at one of her eyes. “It’s not a problem. Not really. I’ll make up for it tonight.” The last part was more of a hope than a fact, but the rest she saw to be a simple truth. It couldn’t be a problem in any case, certainly not one that anyone else needed to feel concerned about. She never wanted to worry anybody, especially when she wasn’t sure there was a reason for the others to feel in any way obliged to feel concerned about her sleep. Things like that could affect other people’s days and… no, she didn’t want that. She felt out of sorts enough for everybody and that should be enough. Besides, she had spent a part of that night watching over Dashiell, willing his dreams to be better – so perhaps there had been a reason behind it all anyway and it wasn’t just the knot that was tying in her stomach. “I hope her thoughts were not too burdened. I am glad you slept well, though. It would have been horrible if more of us couldn’t sleep.” Her brow creased slightly. Then all of them would be too tired and their minds would be drifting. She imagined the others would still behave perfectly respectably, though. They wouldn’t take to hiding in their room. ‘Caelia might if she’s still adjusting to being around all of you,’ Lala offered. That suggestion was pushed from her mind as fast as it had been put there. Cheila had had to adjust as well. She hadn’t avoided a single person.

‘Cheila. You’re being asked a question.’ She knew that. There was just something about twirling her hair around her finger that made her feel just a tiny bit better. The tiniest bit. “Yes, please. If you don’t mind?” It wouldn’t really make sense to offer something that you did mind providing – ‘You’ve done it quite a bit in the past.’ – but she always felt the need to make sure. Odd that she only just realised now that she really hadn’t drank nearly as much of the lemon-citrus as she would usually, choosing instead to go straight for sweeter, comforting things like hot chocolate. Even when it was too warm outside for hot chocolate and she had to wait for it to cool down before she could drink it. Her familiar would have accused her of changing the subject had she not been an air elemental. ‘Please eat something. I don’t trust you not to hide from your sister and forget in the process.’ Cheila didn’t want anything to eat. Especially not when her father brought up Caelia. “She has been greatly missed,” she said in as bright a tone as she could. Automatically, she moved to stand more so she was beside Barnabas than in any way opposite. Just so she didn’t have to make eye contact. “The twins were thrilled to see her when she first arrived.” She smiled at the memory of the looks on their faces, then glanced down to smooth out a dress that did not need it. “It is horribly unfortunate her visit should coincide with such a terrible incident, though.” Cheila truly did not like to be at all upset with people she cared about. It wasn’t something she could really recall happening before – not like this. She would rather like it to stop, though.

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findthethoughts
2012-01-28 05:13 pm UTC (link)

Barnabas wasn't sure that Cheila really would make up for her lost sleep tonight. It wasn't that he thought his daughter was a liar, oh no he'd never accuse her of such a thing, but more that he knew how troubled her dreams were. Or not exactly knew but her lack of good sleep since her arrival in Scarlet Oak gave it away. Barnabas didn't want to know these things but it was impossible to not pay attention and as a father he believed he was allowed to be concerned. "I hope that you do, Cheila," was all that he said. He didn't want her to become upset or bothered because she thought he was worried. He knew how she could be. "You know your mother, her thoughts will be burdened and then she'll think of something else and off they go." A fond smile marked how he meant that in the nicest of ways. Barnabas had been a little bothered by the whimsicalness of Diana's mind at first, but he'd grown to truly enjoy it over the years. Though the past month really had been just a little bit harder for it. Being in a house of air elementals when one couldn't keep a telepathic barrier in place was a little maddening.

"Of course I don't mind." Barnabas poured a second mug and offered it to Cheila before sipping from his own and turned to make toast. "Would you like some toast as well? It's always good to have something in your stomach when you get up." That and he knew that the Elias children weren't ever the sort who could really afford to go without too many meals. Even if, when left to their own devices, the twins still seemed more likely to concoct something a child would than an adult. "Yes, she has been, your mother speaks of her often and I know the rest of you think of her." They'd grown up knowing he was a telepath, it couldn't really be that odd that he'd still know some of the thoughts in their heads. He just didn't have the same control over which bits and pieces of information it was that he gathered anymore. Yet. I'll get it back. Barnabas kept his eyes focused on the toaster, he loved toast and thought that toasters were wonderful even though some of his children seemed to be unable to operate one without breaking it, but picked up a thought that made him frown slightly. "Cheila; are you displeased with your sister? There's no shame in it if you are. Siblings are allowed..."

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importedair
2012-01-29 03:57 am UTC (link)

She smiled. Would he still think that if he knew why she’d not—Yes, of course. None of her family would ever wish ill on anyone like that. True, her mother would very likely have sent all the fury of the gods on Laurent with that thunder, but—but that was something she understood. That wasn’t wishing ill on someone, exactly, that was protection. Thoughts willingly milling away from the subject of her own lack of sleep, Cheila brightened a little. Her hands rose and she fluttered her fingers the way she imagined thoughts would scatter away in the wind. “Like glitter!” Because, obviously, Diana’s thoughts would be shiny and glittery – ‘That makes no sense.’ - like that sparkly dust she used to play with when she was much younger and still learning how to handle her element. She used to scoop up handfuls of it and sprinkle it into the breezes as she managed to summon them – and then everything became glittery because the winds carried the dust everywhere. “Hopefully if they come back it will be at a more convenient time for both of you,” she said softly, having suddenly realised why her mother found the kitchen counter so interesting sometimes. Those colours in one stone… Her hands were still raised in their earlier mime while she leaned forward to get a closer look, Caelia almost forgotten. It really was a very pretty counter when one stopped to look. How had she not noticed before now? Suddenly straightening, Cheila blinked and pulled her hands back down. That must have looked odd.

“Thank you.” She didn’t reach for the mug until she had tried to covertly push her bracelets right down as if that would glue them in place. Unfortunately she wasn’t sure just how covert it actually was, but it was better than fiddling with them right everyone’s – her father’s – sight. “Um.” Did she want toast? Cheila wasn’t sure she was hungry, but then if she ate maybe Lala would stop telling her to. “Alright. I should probably eat something before I forget.” The agreement was a little obviously reluctant, but she couldn’t help that. Her face and voice were giving everything away. “And I can’t use the toaster… And I worry I’ll forget about the grill and set the house on fire.” Even though she could probably blow it out quite adequately. That wasn’t the point, really though, was it? Oh... Cheila’s mind felt a little like it stalled, when really it was picking back up from where she had forgotten and was not yet ready to remember. Caelia. “Yes, I do,” she answered quietly, head ducking a little as she sipped from her mug. She’d not forgotten that Barnabas was a telepath, she just hadn’t been thinking about it. Because then she would have to think about Rina being an empath and she felt horrible deciding she felt more comfortable with the telepathy. Her feelings were often more of a muddle than her thoughts were and that was only when she managed to confuse herself… “Oh.” Cheila flushed pink and prodded at the kitchen counter, the fingers of one hand still curled around the handle of the mug. “Yes. I wish I wasn’t, it feels horrible. I can’t think of a single time I ever felt like this with any of the family.” The admission was almost painful, but she couldn’t very well lie. Brow creasing in a distressed frown, she turned her blue eyes on Barnabas. “And I lied to the twins. They said they thought I was upset with Caelia and I told them I just hadn’t slept well. I thought it was for the best, but—I lied!” She could not be the only person who saw why that was so terrible. ‘Sometimes I think the people who don’t come attached to your mind understand you better than I do.’

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findthethoughts
2012-01-30 11:42 pm UTC (link)

"Yes, like glitter." How exactly it was like glitter, Barnabas wasn't sure but if that was what Cheila wanted to use for a comparison then he'd go along with it. He'd learned a long time ago it was always easier to agree on the off-chance that one of them would latch onto their opinion against his and argue it. Air elementals weren't always the best at debating or the like, but Barnabas didn't want to get dragged into one this early in the day. Not over something like this. "If they come back then they're important and so they'll matter, but if not then they might be gone forever. She never seems to mind." No, it took more serious things to ruffle Diana. And no one that Barnabas had ever met was likely capable of standing up to her when she was upset. So yet again it was better for all if no one upset her.

Barnabas purposefully didn't look at Cheila's wrists because she went through so much effort to keep them hidden. He didn't want to cause her any additional upset. Just like he didn't mention that he was going to make her the toast whether she wanted it or not under the idea that she was going to eat some of it eventually. Barnabas didn't want her to go hungry just because she couldn't make up her mind. The gods knew that it had happened often enough with Diana. "I know. There seems to be a thing about you and your siblings and electronic things." Barnabas had a fond smile on his face when he looked over at Cheila. "Don't worry, I'm capable." What he didn't add was 'now'. They both knew that he hadn't been far too recently. Another reason Barnabas had developed his shields more thoroughly after moving to Greece was because he doubted he could handle the constant stop-starts that seemed to come with the children. The children who weren't children at all. For not the first time he felt a little pang at that realization and he only just stopped from turning to hug Cheila just because he could. That was more Diana's thing. "You've never had a reason before and you do now." She had to have. Barnabas couldn't even begin to imagine any of the children being upset with the others without a good reason. Unless they'd been younger and it was silly. This wasn't that. "Don't beat yourself up over that... you didn't do it maliciously. You only wanted to spare their feelings. Though..." Barnabas buttered the first two slices of toast and extended on to Cheila. "You must remember that the twins are adults in their own rights now and lying to them may not be the best choice. The important question is does Caelia know you're upset?"

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importedair
2012-01-31 04:08 am UTC (link)

Cheila brightened a little, pleased with that agreement. “Something about her shines…” It always had, she thought. An inner-something. Maybe it was because she was High Priestess, but the elemental preferred to think it was just because of who she was. Whichever it was, she shone, and—oh, she had been sure there was a point to that trail of thought originally. Lala wasn’t helping. Eyes raising to the ceiling as though maybe a light fixture could tell her, she frowned slightly and her mouth opened to voice a drifting thought before it drifted completely and she had to close it again. “I forgot what I was going to say,” she said, confused. But somehow her trail of thought picked up from elsewhere entirely and she simply voiced that instead, going back to fidgeting with the counter-top. “Do you happen to know which levels the twins or Dashiell are at?” The question was asked slowly and almost guiltily, the frown fixed in place. “I keep meaning to ask, but I never remember to when they’re right there with me.” Which she felt awful about because she had bubbled at everybody about how she was a master without thinking to stop and ask them.

“They go ‘fzzt’ and break,” she added with similar hand gestures to the one before. The sound effects had, naturally, been necessary. And sort of fun. Worry? “Oh—I’m not worried,” she sounded undeniably pleased with this. And she was. It wasn’t all that long ago that she recalled Barnabas more or less declaring he had had enough after making himself a sandwich. That had been something she had seen as an improvement and had held onto tightly with both hands. This? This was better by far, but even so she still knew he would be more than capable of saying he had had enough of making the toast too if that were the case. So no, she wasn’t worried; she had seen how much better he was since she had come to Scarlet Oak. She wondered if there was a way of telling Laurent. “No…” Cheila had never been angry with Caelia. Never. Now she wasn’t sure what was going on in her head, but it felt all wrong. You weren’t supposed to feel like that towards family. “She should have been here more. Even if the visits were short. We all make adjustments.” A deep breath because she didn’t like these thoughts leaving her head. “And before she came I heard more about her welfare from one of her friends than I ever did from her. I think—I think those are reasonable beginnings for a person to be upset.” ‘I told you that lie wasn’t a crime against mankind.’ For a moment, Cheila thought perhaps that if she was telling her mother about the lie that she would agree with her. Then she realised that the last thing she wanted to do was tell Diana she had lied at all. “I don’t lie to my family,” was the only further argument she could think of. “But if I can deal with problems by upsetting as few people as possible, I will.” That included the twins. And Caelia. Which was most confusing. “I think she suspects – she looked horribly awkward – but I don’t want to say anything that will upset her.” She was angry, yes, but not so much that she would willingly take it out on her sister. She just wanted the feeling to go away.

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findthethoughts
2012-02-05 06:39 am UTC (link)

"Yes it does," Barnabas agreed with a smile of his own. He'd seen that shining in Diana when he'd seen her for the first time, when all the rest of the world was still fuzzed out and dark she'd been there and her face had been shining. Really it'd just been lit by the nearby lantern, but he didn't care. She'd been there then and she was still there now. "Your mother has always been a good place to find your light." That had to be one of the reasons why she made such a good High Priestess. He blinked at the question and paused, mug hovering near his lips and tickling the whiskers of his mustache while he thought. He knew that he knew the answer to that, they'd either told him or their minds had. Whichever way it didn't really matter. "The twins are just shy of their masteries, so sixth for them, but they still have those blocks." It'd always confused him why they did. He supposed that it'd make sense for something about Aurora to be a little stunted as awful as that sounded, but Aetheria? "Dashiell is at fifth if I remember right, and his telepathy is still very weak." That had been something that Barnabas was proud to see in his children. They'd taken after their mother's elementalism, but they also had touches of psychic in them even if the girls' only worked with each other.

Barnabas nodded his agreement about what the electronic things did when exposed to the Elias's in general. "I'm glad you don't worry." Emotions were something he didn't get as good a grasp on as he usually did thoughts, this was true, but he always thought it was better to be safe about these things than sorry. So he assumed that they worried until he'd been told otherwise. What Barnabas hadn't been ready for that morning when he rolled out of bed and pulled on his robe was dealing with Cheila's feelings of... disapproval? towards Caelia. Only they were feelings that he thought he understood. Something he'd learned quickly about the people at the temple was how important rank and family was to them. And they went together. Caelia was the eldest, the one meant to be High Priestess after Diana, and in all of their minds she was the one who should've been there first and most for the family. Barnabas knew that just as he knew that Caelia couldn't do that. Not with what had happened to her. "Those are very good reasons to be upset, Cheila, you don't need to feel any shame for these feelings that you have. You have every right." And she did. Caelia had the right, technically, to be who she wanted to be, but her family had the right to be confused or even hurt with her for not being there for them. "But you won't feel better about any of this until you talk with Caelia about it. Otherwise every time you see her you'll remember these things and be uncomfortable or upset again. It can build up even with air elementals and I don't think you want that." Barnabas finally took a bite of his toast, chewing it thoughtfully before he decided that he did, indeed, want jam on it. "Would you like jam for your toast?"

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