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Kendra E. Urquhart ([info]ktotheurquhart) wrote in [info]landing_rpg,
@ 2008-05-12 00:55:00

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Entry tags:kendra urquhart, september 2022

WHO: Cormac McLaggen and Kendra Urquhart
WHAT: Talking and enjoying a peaceful day.
WHERE: By the lake.
WHEN: Afternoon sometime
RATING: G
STATUS: In progress/Closed


All the talking in the journals was going to lead to her finding out what was going on in Cormac's life. She didn't know how it started, but there was something that she wanted to learn about him. It had been awhile since she actually had talked to him without it being something about class. Everything it seemed had been about class and only class. But now in their sixth year, they didn't need to worry too much about studying constantly. This year it seemed, was her only chance to get into that head of his. It would take awhile, that she knew. She would be patient, especially with friend.

Kendra had asked Cormac to come with her down to the lake. It was a lovely fall day and she wasn't going to pass it up. It was peaceful, just like the sea. Maybe not as big and grand, but it was somewhat close. Now she was waiting for him in the entrance way. Her book nowhere in sight since there really wasn't a need for it. Hands were in the back pockets of her jeans and she was looking around at the kids around her. Hey, she was a prefect after all and had to always make sure people were following the rules...or something along those lines.


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[info]cormacmclaggen
2008-05-12 02:43 am UTC (link)
Cormac knew it was silly to feel anxious as he walked to meet Kendra. He wasn't very good with people. In fact, he tended to succeed in only making them uncomfortable with his swift changes in mood, causing them to not want to be around him anymore. He was hoping beyond hope that none of them would occur while he was with Kendra. Nothing changed the atmosphere more than when his slightly hopeful and optimistic calm rapidly turned into an oversensitive, irritable wave that crashed over him. To say he was having a mild panic attack at the moment was an understatement, but he forced himself to breathe calmly and keep his mood from swinging rapidly in a direction he didn't want it to go.

As he neared the front entrance he saw Kendra standing there, and couldn't help but wonder why she'd wanted him to come with her. It wasn't as if he would be winning any popularity contests, or even winning any awards on being a good companion. Quelling the sense of panic, Cormac let his mouth turn up in a slight smile. Despite it all, he was looking forward to her company. He just hoped he wouldn't blow it by making a jerk of himself. "Hey Kendra." He said, softly, and a bit more shyly than usual.

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[info]ktotheurquhart
2008-05-12 03:14 am UTC (link)
Kendra smiled and waved when she saw Cormac. She wasn't going to admit how crazy it sounded for her to randomly invite him down to the lake with her. But again, it was that wanting to know him. A time or two she had been present during one of his quick mood changes. That never bothered her, on the contrary, it only intrigued her more.

The shyness in his voice was noted, she would have to break down that barrier at some point. Kendra was the type of person that wanted most to be comfortable around her. She didn't want to be like her family and only bring people down. She wanted to make them smile and laugh, and that was her plan for him.

'Hello Cormac.' As always, her voice was overly chipper. Motioning to the large oak doors she started towards towards them. 'Shall we? The day is quite lovely and waiting for us.' It was slightly cheesy, but she wanted to keep him smiling.

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[info]cormacmclaggen
2008-05-12 03:23 am UTC (link)
His anxiety nearly fled completely when she spoke, but it still lingered, just slightly, causing an unsettled feeling in the pit of his stomach, but he did his best to ignore it. Almost automatically his hands disappeared into the single pocket of the muggle hooded sweatshirt he wore. The habit had become second nature to him while he was in the company of others, and he was rarely, if ever, seen without a sweatshirt or long sleeves on in order to hide his scars. They only brought up unnecessary and unwanted questions about things he'd rather not think about. He knew though, that he couldn't hide them forever.

"Is it waiting for us?" Cormac asked in response, his smile widening just a little bit. Her cheer seemed to be slightly contagious and he hoped that it would last. He followed her slowly, losing himself in his thoughts suddenly, then he remembered what she'd mentioned in the journal.

"What book were you going to read?" His voice came out more loudly than he'd anticipated and he felt slightly foolish, as if that would somehow tip the scales against him for the day.

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[info]ktotheurquhart
2008-05-12 08:10 pm UTC (link)
'Yes, somehow, it's been waiting for us.' Kendra knew she wasn't making much sense. Here was the way to redeem that. When they stepped outside, the air was warm and the weather was perfect. 'See, this lovely day has been waiting for us to enjoy it!' She smiled up at him after taking a look around the grounds. They weren't the only ones that were going to enjoy the fresh air.

Ah yes, her book. 'Well, more like play. I read Macbeth every year right when we get back to school.' Every year was being nice. She read it at least three or four times and knew it by heart. 'It keeps the ego in check.' She didn't even notice if Cormac's voice got louder. She was more focused on keeping that smile on his face.

'Why do you like the sea so much?' Kendra turned to look back at Cormac, the smile still playing on her lips. Maybe she was looking for a deeper meaning. Or maybe she was just truly curious about what it was about the sea that made Comrac want to be there.

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[info]cormacmclaggen
2008-05-13 06:32 pm UTC (link)
Cormac stood where he was, watching her step outside and look around. She was right, it was a lovely day, but for some reason the thought of stepping forward and out the door had him in a slight panic. He focused instead on the sound of her voice. "Macbeth?" He asked, though his voice was too low for her to hear, so he stepped outside and stood beside her, his eyes staring toward the lake. "You like to read, then?" He inquired, glancing at her, avoiding her question about the sea, but then he gave him.

"It's beautiful, yeah? The sea is so full of life that we can't imagine. It's peaceful. You could sit on the beach all day and fall asleep, and walk along the shoreline forever and look out at that great expanse of just water that you can see no end to. It's calming for a person with a mind like mine." He explained slowly, avoiding looking at her.

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[info]ktotheurquhart
2008-05-13 09:02 pm UTC (link)
Kendra had noticed Cormac wasn't beside her anymore and turned around until he stepped outside. She continued to smile, even if she noticed something in his eyes. Nope, she knew better than to ask about that sort of thing, or even bring it up. 'Yes, I do!' She laughed lightly and started to walk towards the lake again, waiting for him to follow. 'It's about the only thing to do during summer.'

Again, she noticed his apprehension but smiled again when he started talking. Kendra's eyes traveled back to look at the lake. It wasn't the sea, but it could be close. 'It makes you feel small and like nothing really matters.' She whispered very quietly and turned to look back at Cormac. Maybe she wasn't going to push other things, but she always was a curious one. 'A mind like yours?'

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[info]cormacmclaggen
2008-05-13 09:28 pm UTC (link)
"Did I say that?" Cormac asked quickly, panic flashing through his eyes. He gave a quick look at Kendra and then began walking toward the edge of the lake very swiftly. He stopped when he was just beside his, staring across it. It was large, similar to the sea, but there was something missing. He didn't even look back to see if Kendra had followed when he started talking again. "I meant when you have a lot you think about often." He said, afraid that she might catch on to the actual meaning of what he'd said: a mind that constantly told you the world would be better without you.

Turning around he changed the subject. "Your books, which other ones do you read during the summer?"

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[info]ktotheurquhart
2008-05-13 10:19 pm UTC (link)
Kendra didn't have time to reply before Comrac walked closer to the lake. This could be a little harder than she thought. Biting her lip she walked behind him and gave him a few seconds to cover it up. Ah, easy to cover, but not easy to forget. 'What do you normally think about?' Kendra knew she was pushing it a little far now. She didn't want to push him away now. 'You can talk to me.' Added for safe measure with a small smile. It was her way of telling Cormac that he could trust her.

But, if he wanted to change the subject, she would! 'I had a small tragedy kick. From Hamlet to The Awakening.' Books she found when she escaped from her house during the summer.

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[info]cormacmclaggen
2008-05-13 10:53 pm UTC (link)
Cormac debated actually talking to Kendra about everything that went through his mind, but he stopped. Maybe with time. Today just wasn't the right day, and though he hated to admit it, he wanted to tell someone other than his family, he just was afraid. Pushing all that aside, he focused on Kendra's words now.

"I've been on a small tragedy kick for a while, but it's had nothing to do with books." He slipped and said. Then kicked himself mentally. "The Awakening? I've never heard of it." He said, his voice sounding a little strained. He could feel a wave of sadness start to wash over him, and mixed with it was a twinge of anger, but it had nothing to do with Kendra. Nothing at all.

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[info]ktotheurquhart
2008-05-13 11:13 pm UTC (link)
'Aren't we all sometimes? Sometimes tragedy keeps us going.' Sometimes it didn't. Tragedy was there to wreck havoc on every ones lives at the worst time possible. She really wasn't going to say more about it. Kendra was no longer going to push any subject. The laughter had slipped as well as the smile.

'By Kate Chopin? It's amazing. Slightly depressing, but it's a good one. You should read it sometime.' Again, she bit her bottom lip and thought for a second. 'What about you? What do you read?' She was going to turn the subjects around, hopefully bring back the laughter of their conversation.

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[info]cormacmclaggen
2008-05-14 01:14 am UTC (link)
"I've never heard of it." Cormac admitted, lowering himself to a seated position on the ground, just close enough that he could throw small pebbles and rocks into the lake without much effort. "I'll read it, if you say it's good." He said, looking up at her, hoping that the sadness inching its way over him wasn't showing on his face. He gave her a false smile.

"Me? Read? Some things here and there. My mother gave me a book of poems by Walt Whitman to read. So, there's that at the moment." He explained softly, trying in vain to fight his changing moods. With a heavy sigh he gave in to them.

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[info]ktotheurquhart
2008-05-14 02:37 am UTC (link)
She plopped down next to him and leaned back on her hands. Just enjoying the scene for a moment. 'I can loan it to you if you want?' Cormac's false smile was quite noticeable and she mentally frowned. Kendra would definitely try again sometime soon. For now, they would hopefully just enjoy the lovely sight in front of them.

'Walt Whitman. Merlin, I've always wanted to read some of his poetry. What else?' Maybe just maybe she could pull him out of his mood change. There was still a small smile tugging at her lips. She was trying her hardest just by keeping the subject on something that was simple and on something most people enjoyed.

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[info]cormacmclaggen
2008-05-14 03:19 pm UTC (link)
"Would you like to borrow my book of Whitman?" Cormac asked giving Kendra a very small, tentative smile. "I'd love to borrow yours. We could do a trade of sorts." He said, one hand absently searching the ground. His fingers closed around a small rock and he tossed it carelessly into the lake.

He went quiet for a moment, thinking about what she'd asked. He never really thought about what books he read before. He just read them. They were generally ones his mother sent from home that she thought he would like, and for some reason they all seemed to be full of poetry, which Cormac had to admit he was a little shy about, actually. "Well, I mean, my mother sent me a book by Sylvia Plath last year that I thought was written well. The Bell Jar. Have you heard of it?" He asked shyly.

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[info]ktotheurquhart
2008-05-15 04:19 am UTC (link)
'That would be marvelous!' She truly smiled in Cormac's direction. 'Maybe we can do it more? Broaden our horizons when it comes to literature?' It would be great for Kendra. She never got to buy have the books she wanted because of her crazed parents. Always saying that muggles didn't know how to write a book or something. She stopped paying attention to them years ago.

'I haven't read that in years.' Kendra had to even think about how long ago it had been. 'To tell the truth, I think I forgot it.' She shook her head and looked down a bit embarrassed. Normally her memory was fantastic, but there were somethings that slipped her mind and it would embarrass her. 'That's horrible of me.' She laughed lightly and looked back up. 'Have you ever read Wallace Stevens?'

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[info]cormacmclaggen
2008-05-15 07:44 pm UTC (link)
"I haven't." Cormac said with a small shrug, "Or maybe I have and I don't remember. My mum's always giving me books and taking them back and I forget the titles and whatnot." He noticed her embarrassed expression and gave her a comforting smile, despite the fact that he felt like never smiling again.

"What do you do besides read?" He asked, finding that he was truly curious.

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[info]ktotheurquhart
2008-05-15 09:08 pm UTC (link)
'He's someone you would remember for sure.' Everything about Cormac seemed to have changed and all she wanted to do was comfort him somehow. It was too soon and would probably seem creepy if she did. Or would it? Ugh. She was confused at what to do. Just follow along with a conversation and hope that it would change again.

'Bake? Does that sound horribly crazy and grandmother-ish?'

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[info]cormacmclaggen
2008-05-15 09:13 pm UTC (link)
Cormac laughed. A good-natured laugh that made him feel good inside. "Grandmother-ish?" He repeated. "Well what do you bake, and I'll tell you if it sounds that way. Though I'd hardly say that makes you crazy." He said, the smile that had formed on his face falling away slowly. It was amazing how quickly his mood could change.

One hand in his pocket rubbed absently at the scar across his wrist and he turned his face to stare across the lake. It wasn't fair for him to be taking up Kendra's time. He knew she should be with people who weren't as damaged as him, people who weren't out of their minds. Glancing back at her, he bit his lip, debating whether or not to make up an excuse and flee back to his dormitory.

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[info]ktotheurquhart
2008-05-15 09:25 pm UTC (link)
Yes! His laugh! That made her smile on the inside finally. Kendra knew all she had to do was crack some cheesy joke and she would get it. She just didn't know which one or how long it would have taken. 'Cookies and cupcakes are my all time favorites to make. I tried mastering fruitcake, but it ended up attacking me and the house elf that was helping. It was quite a sight. Never again will I try to make it.' She laughed at the memory and stared off at the lake. 'So, is that a little grandmother-ish?' She'd wait to tell Cormac about the gingerbread incident too.

'This is fun.' It was out of no where, but it was true. The only Claw she ever really talked to was her brother, and that could get boring after awhile. 'It's better than reading Macbeth for sure.' Which was saying something.

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[info]cormacmclaggen
2008-05-15 10:16 pm UTC (link)
"Yes, a little. My grandmother used to make those kinds of things for me when I was younger." Cormac said, smiling a little about the fruitcake incident. The image in his head was quite hilarious. "But it's alright, because cookies and cupcakes are brilliant." He actually thought it sounded like fun, baking.

He doubted that she was having fun now though, he personally thought he was a rather boring companion. Shooting her a doubtful look he picked up a pebble near his foot and began scrutinizing it. "Fun, huh?" He asked, his voice sounding almost absent. Then he blinked, realizing he was making it seemed as if he weren't enjoying himself at all and quickly added, "Yes, it is fun. Much better than sitting by myself."

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[info]ktotheurquhart
2008-05-16 03:48 am UTC (link)
'See! I am a little grandmother-ish.' She laughed and looked back in his direction. 'Glad you think so! Be expecting them. What type of cookies do you like? Or would you like to join me in the kitchens next time? The elves down there are actually friendly once they realize you aren't there to cause trouble.'

Kendra nodded and then smiled. 'Very fun actually. It's hard to find people to talk about reading and baking. They're both extremely random and opposite topics.' She really hoped Cormac was enjoying himself, she would be very worried if he wasn't. 'We're going to have to do it again soon!' Kendra wasn't letting him off that easily.

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[info]cormacmclaggen
2008-05-18 03:30 am UTC (link)
Cormac was quiet for a moment as he thought about her question. It'd been a long time since he'd had his grandmother's cookies, or really even thought about what he really enjoyed. The idea of joining Kendra in the kitchens making cookies intrigued him, though he wasn't sure he was ready to admit that. After a while, he finally spoke. "I suppose just chocolate chip. Or perhaps peanut butter." He said.

"Maybe next time we can talk about something even more random and opposite." He added, throwing Kendra a very small grin. He was enjoying himself with her, even if he was still feeling a little down for whatever reason.

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[info]ktotheurquhart
2008-05-18 06:37 am UTC (link)
'Maybe even both? Very good choice in cookies. Those two types are especially fun to make too.' She'd ask Cormac later if he wanted to join her in making them. Well, try again. It was always much more fun baking when there was more than one person around. Plus maybe she could get him to laugh with some of her strange habits in the kitchen.

'We can make a tradition of it. Random topics of conversations.' Kendra smiled back in his direction. Hoping he was actually having a good time. The grin didn't seem forced so she took it as a very good sign.

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