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Tweak says, "Chutney ferret"

Peyton Pucey (peyton_place) wrote in landing_rpg,
@ 2008-06-19 17:31:00

Entry tags:

jamison peaks, october 2022

WHO: Peyton and Jamison
WHAT: Talking, stressing, comforting
WHERE: Somewhere hidden in the castle
WHEN: Late Thursday Night
WHY: Peyton's in a bad place because she had a really bad vision.
STATUS: Complete

[Jamison]

I'm not going to the ball.

After sending Scout, her young hawk owl, with the owl to Jamison, Peyton grabbed a big, comfy hoodie and stalked off through the dungeons, not letting anyone know where she was going. It was hard to be cheerful or even think about going to a ball after what she had just seen. She was so glad she was alone when it happened. If she hadn't been, it would have been a lot harder for her. She was almost completely drained, it was hard to walk. Every turn sent her for a whirl and each step was braced by her hand along the wall. It probably didn't help that she was still crying silent tears.

She wandered the castle, trying to find a good place to hide. It felt like an impossible task. Staying invisible and trying to find somewhere to hide away while around every turn there were groups of her school mates. Finally there was an appealing place. A drak hidden corner at the end of a hall. There was a deep window sill that let in the sheer light from the moon. Peyton crawled onto the sill, drawing her legs into her chest and holding them there firmly with her arms. Her eyes stared blankly out the window. At first, she jumped at every little sound, afraid someone would find her, but soon she was so lost that she didn't hear anything at all.

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jamisonpeaks
2008-06-20 07:31 pm UTC (link)

Jamison was confused by the owl he'd gotten, he knew the hand writing, and he knew something was up. Still he didn't really know what she'd say something about the ball weeks before the ball actually happened. He found it to be odd... But it was Peyton if something upset her than something really upset her. He knew were to find her though, that was never a problem for him.

As he made his way through the castle it took him a good 30 minutes to find her. She was hiding somewhere he was pretty sure she'd hidden before. It was on is list of places to find. He stood a little bit away from her at first watching. He hated this, he hated watching anyone go through something bad, but Peyton was one of his best mates, he really hated it with her.

He walked closer to her sitting down next to her. He never had a clue what to say, as normal he just wrapped an arm around her.

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peyton_place
2008-06-20 08:18 pm UTC (link)

Peyton couldn't help it, she just turned and let her head fall against his chest as the tears took new birth. She tried to reign them in but it was a futile attempt. She had no need to look, she knew automatically who it was. She shouldn't have doubted Jamison's ability to find her. He'd never had a problem in the past. It was always J who was there for her. It was just so much easier with him. Even when he didn't say anything he knew how to act to make her feel...appropriate. She brought her left arm around to hug him, letting him know she was glad he had come. It wasn't easy for her to speak yet. She had to wait a few more minutes for the tears to subside.

She wanted to bury herself in a small hole and never come out. Visions like this one always hit hard, and she was powerless against their effect. The fatigue, the worry, the slight onslaught of depression that set in immediately. After 16 years she still had no way of controling it. Most of the time the best medicine was to let it all out...talking to Jamison usually cleared things up, but the problem was she first had to want to talk about it. That never happened. His prescence by her side was the only thing that made the words seep out of her clenched lips. When she spoke it was muffled a bit by her tears and the fact that she was talking into his chest rather than straight to him. "I can't do this, J. I should have some sort of punishment." On some level she knew he had no idea what she was talking about, but Pip really wasn't in a very observant state at the moment.

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jamisonpeaks
2008-06-21 12:38 am UTC (link)

Jamison didn't say much, he just sort of sat with her. He knew she wouldn't be mad that he'd found her and was sitting with him.

"Hey, stop that right now." He said with a strong voice. "It isn't your fault. You're human, you can't be expected to get to everything. You can't beat yourself up for it either. If you do, you might not be able to help the next person or the person after that. It'll be okay." He said honestly. Actually he didn't have a clue how things would be okay in this case, but he had to believe that it would be okay. Things had to be right?

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peyton_place
2008-06-23 12:03 am UTC (link)

She wished everything he said could break through the thick shell that was surrounding her but Peyton barely felt the effect of his words. This wound was deep. A gash that tore through her very core. At least his presence was comforting. She wasn't shaking from the inside out anymore, and it was becoming a bit easier to breathe. Pip was thankful she had Jamison to look after her like this.

Though they didn't have much on the healing power front, Peyton still heard his strong response. She wasn't sure she believed what he was saying. It was times like these where she felt little faith in her gift. "Who says? I can't be sure I'll help anyone...what if I'm always too late? It doesn't feel okay, J. It feels like I'm falling apart." Her voice was barely over a whisper, especially in the end, but she was sure he could hear her. On some level she knew that if she ever got out of this depression she would hate herself for it, but that was too far in the back of her mind to affect the situation at all. She trembled again as if a cold gust had run down her bare back. Am I falling apart?

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jamisonpeaks
2008-06-23 04:02 pm UTC (link)

"Listen if you keep beating yourself up like this you wont be able to help anyone." Jamison didn't want to be mean, but he wasn't going to sit around and watch her work herself up into a right state and feel sorry for herself the whole time either.

Jamison sighed slightly. "I get that it is hard, well as much as I can, but you're going to help people, you can't save everyone though. And I'm not going to sick back and watch you beat yourself up." He didn't really know what else to say, he hated feeling mean, but it was hard to sit and watch her like this. He had to say something, saying nothing would be like doing nothing. He didn't get any of it in the first place.

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peyton_place
2008-06-25 06:12 am UTC (link)

The sting of his words were just enough to pull some real sense back to the surface. At least Jamison knew how to break through even when Peyton thought there was nothing in the world that mattered anymore. Her fickle personality kept her emotions scattered all over the place, so when something big affected her, Pip was pretty powerless to keep it from taking over completely. She held onto Jamison like she would crumble if either of them let go. She was being stupid, and finally that was starting to break through.

"I just don't like feeling powerless," she admitted, wiping the last tears off her cheeks. "I know I'm being stupid. I just...get emotional over these things sometimes." Pip saw a quick glimpse of the young boy in her head and quickly shook it out. After another second of realization Peyton decided she was being stupid trying to hole herself up. Jamison was right. She couldn't save them all and she was dumb to even suppose she could. There were others that she could help, and it's not like she hadn't helped others in the past. I'm being a stupid git. She lifted her head and attempted a slight smile, "Thanks...for kicking me out of my haze. I'm sorry."

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